A person who is emotionally unavailable would want to start a relationship in a rather too fast way.
Hours after meeting, he is already laying the sheets on the bed. Hours after meeting each other, she is already giving you body language that she is all for the take!
The guy feels lucky that he just met a sexually willing babe. Well, he just met a confused soul who wants to use him to deaden the pain in her heart.
A guy who is not really in love and has no emotional connection often times just wants the jeru trip. He is not emotionally available.
What you need to know is that for a relationship to work properly, there needs to be a development flow. But when you try to bypass the natural rhythm of intimacy, there will be relationship chaos!
An emotionally unavailable person wants the sexual phase of the relationship to happen quickly, but we all know that this is a phase that God wants to be reserved till the time of marriage.
I am going to stop here this morning, but before I go, a word for the married.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
In marriage, make sure nothing steals times of intimacy building between the two of you. Never allow any other person apart from your spouse into your emotional space!
Your emotional space is only for your spouse and any other person is an “alien” that will do damage to your heart. Block out every emotional opening and space to colleagues, boss, friends, and even your pastors! Let all the emotional space be taken by your spouse only!
That is how to be on safe ground!
May God grant more understanding in Jesus name!
I pray for all who might just be going through the process of emotional healing, I ask that God will touch your heart and grant you the grace to forgive and let go in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a wreck to my lover
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be emotionally stable
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:17(MSG) God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Heal from the past before moving to the next
Emotional availability is necessary for a good relationship or courtship to lead to marriage and also for a good marriage to work out.
However, there are a lot of ladies and young men who are emotionally unavailable and yet are praying desperately to get married. It is not going to work like that.
It is like somebody praying to graduate without going to school. That would never happen without the first.
You can be emotionally available without messing up. You can be emotionally available without being taken for granted and desecrated by sexual opportunists.
Emotional availability is necessary for a healthy relationship that will lead to marriage.
One of the greatest love mishaps is to fall in love with an emotionally unavailable person. It is an affliction of the soul and it is a waste of time.
How do you spot a person that is not available emotionally?
1. He is cooling off
His hands have just been burnt in a past relationship. His heart has just been broken in a former relationship where he or she has given all his heart but is heavily disappointed.
That person is simply emotionally unavailable.
His love or her love is ambidextrously intertwined with the old and the potential new.
It is like drinking a melange of old and new wine. The alcoholic consequence will culminate in a collateral damage.
The emotions are confused and he or she is still smarting from the love that went sour. The taste is still left in his mouth and taste buds are numb from experiencing the new.
In his or her subconscious, there is still a wish that the old should have worked out. He or she is still missing out on something or he thinks something is still missing.
It even gets worse if they had been sexually involved, and the illegal cementing of the souls complicate issues.
The way out is always never to jump into a new relationship as a way to numb his pain.
A person who just broke up and is still hurt still has his or her emotions in a confused state and such a person is simply not available to begin a new relationship.
I always advocate that a minimum of six months should be given before you move into another relationship.
This will enable a proper emotional severing and disconnection, a time of healing and cleansing of the soul and preparing the soul for the new.
God is always a good God.
When a relationship breaks up or doesn’t work out, God will always give a new direction but it is not something you should rush into!
So before you fall in love and allow unnecessary butterflies to start to flap their wings, are you emotionally available?
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a wreck to my lover
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be emotionally stable
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:17(MSG) God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Heal from the past before moving to the next
It is good to follow the peace of God in your heart and not just your flesh.
It is good to stay in joy in the Holy Ghost; which is expressed always with your shout, dance, laughter, and singing.
This is how you get into the kingdom. This is how you get a spouse in the kingdom.
It is not just in spending unnecessary money all over the place. It is not just in making a decision because you saw the hips.
This thing goes beyond the pulchritude. It extends beyond the externals. It is not in partying all over the place, it is never in meat and drinks.
The believer that will get anywhere in God must be disciplined. Fast at least once a week. Leave the meat and the drinks alone.
How do you tell me you are a child God and you do all the alcohol, you smoke, party, and you do all that the unbeliever do? Something is not quite right there!
You may succeed in hiding the masturbation, pornography, and all the secret sins from your pastor, but those sins are so loud in heaven! And that is where your blessings come from, not from your pastor.
Do you want to please your pastor while you don’t care what God thinks? That is dangerous!
Fear God o!
Your thoughts are louder in heaven than your voice on earth! The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
The hips, the lips, and the trips are really important but never concentrate on that alone at the expense of God. When you leave God out, you are inviting crisis and storms.
You can live right with the help of the Holy Spirit. Ask Him to help you!
Then, take decisions. You cannot be asking the Holy Spirit to help you from sexual sin and then on Friday, you pack your load to go and spend the weekend in his place! That is mocking God and His word! And it is not a good place to be.
Your prayers must be backed up by tough decisions. Tough decisions about your destiny!
Some numbers must be deleted. Some associations must be severed.
You keep saying she is the one seducing you and yet you keep visiting her every night. No, you are the seducer o!
You have been in several relationships. All of them were sexual. All of them broke up. The pattern is clear enough! Stop ignoring the obvious and take charge of your destiny.
It is not only sex that can lead to breakups. There are relationships that were non-sexual and yet broke up!
It could be you rushed into it, it could be your attitudes, it could be anger problem, and it could just be that is not God’s best for you.
There are good men that could be wrong men for you. There could be a good lady, and yet she is the wrong one for you.
The baseline is to get close to God. The Holy Spirit will lead you through His peace in your heart.
Leave the meat, drink, fun, and all of that for a while and concentrate on the threefold cord that runs through the kingdom of God.
May God give you more understanding in Jesus name!
We break the power of iniquity in your life in the name of Jesus. I release God’s peace, shalom, nothing missing, nothing broken, to surround you in Jesus name!
I pray that the joy of the Lord is yours today and forevermore!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to mock God in any way
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to live with your fear in mind
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:17(MSG) God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.
Futility of A Life Without God was taught by Rev. Dunamis Okunowo on the 6th of March 2022 at Shouts of Grace Center, Joke Plaza, Beside Trans Amusement Park, Bodija-UI Road, Ibadan.
In his teaching, Rev. Dunamis made mention of the following important points:
A lot of people, in their pursuit of happiness, exclude God. That’s futility! King Solomon studied life, experimenting with his own life, and gave us some conclusions. It is wisdom to apply the researches of this man, instead of going through the same route and messing up your life.
He experimented with wine (Eccl 2:3) and found out that wine is a mocker (Prov. 20:1, 23:29-30). Wine may offer you temporary relief, but begins to mock you afterwards.
Women are deep, and should be respected. King Solomon experimented with women, and found out that a woman can be a bitter pill to swallow (Eccl 7:26, MSG). In essence, he was saying, “Don’t mess with women!” Happiness cannot be found by sleeping around – you may have an orgasmic feeling afterwards, but after two hours, you will be back to your misery.
The pursuit of money cannot bring you the joy and satisfaction you desire. You’re mistaken if you believe that; listen to King Solomon:
He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this [is] also vanity. When goods increase, they are increased that eat them: and what good [is there] to the owners thereof, saving the beholding [of them] with their eyes? The sleep of a labouring man [is] sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep. There is a sore evil [which] I have seen under the sun, [namely], riches kept for the owners thereof to their hurt. Ecclesiastes 5:10-13 (KJV)
God wants you to have money, and not for money to have you.
He experimented with possessions (Eccl 2:4-6, 10), and found all these things were vanities (Eccl 1:2) – futility!
In all the experiments King Solomon carried out, he concluded that chasing all of these things were vanity and vexation of the spirit… and that only the fear of God and His pursuit is worth striving for:
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this [is] the whole [duty] of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether [it be] good, or whether [it be] evil. Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 (KJV)
Prioritize God in your life.
Serve God with your life, devotional life (don’t be too busy to fellowship with God – in prayers and in studying the Bible) Serve God with your time (find a service area and fill it) Serve God with your money Serve God with your heart/emotions Honour God with your words
God has made up His mind to bless you; He only needs you to cooperate.
To listen to messages of Rev Dunamis, go HERE or HERE
A couple of years back, a certain lady called me. Let’s call her Sister Sube.
She started by telling me how bitter she is against God, that God has refused to answer all her prayers. She said despite constant vigils, fasting, and prayers, God has turned a deaf ear to her. She told me how she was on the brink of giving up.
Sister Sube went further to tell me that she has been crying for days and that she is thinking of forgetting God and moving on. She told me that no serious man has approached her in the last few months.
Then she dropped the bomb!
She said, “Even this man that I am living in his house has refused to propose!”
“Living in his house?” I asked.
“Yes now, I thought if I move into his house, it will make things fast, but right now, he has only been sleeping with me.”
Then she concluded, “Pastor, I am tired.” I pray a lot, no answer. I am even just coming from a vigil right now.”
As ridiculous as this may sound, I am telling you a true story. And I am also sure there are many people who might have found themselves in this kind of predicament.
The reality is that you cannot violate a part of the scripture and then expect His promises to work for you.
Yes, some things happen by acts of mercy, but you get to a certain point, God commands everyone to repent.
That lady above is trying to mock God. Sadly, God cannot be mocked. Such a person ends up deceiving himself or herself.
There is no point attending vigils and going to the mountain every Friday and then continuing in sin. It is just a waste of time.
Let me give you some tips that can help.
For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. – Romans 14:17 (KJV)
You cannot gallivant your way to heaven. It requires a certain level of seriousness and discipline with your spiritual life. It requires some inconvenience.
There is always a price to pay. It is not in meat and drink alone. It is not in tripping her, taking her to cinemas alone, and buying her gifts.
Meat and drinks, fun, and frolicking around are never the passwords into God’s kingdom.
It is in righteousness which is right living. You cannot cheat your way into the Kingdom. You are either for Him or against Him.
May God grant you more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to mock God in any way
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to live with your fear in mind
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. – Romans 14:17 (KJV)
