“Hullo dear, have you slept?” “No, I have not, I am listening! I heard the last thing you said.” The truth is that you have dozed off.
It has happened to me many times, and I am sure it has happened to you as well. My wife is talking to me on the bed, and I have dozed off. I am trying to listen to her because it is a legitimate need of hers, but the son of man is tired!
Somebody said women speak more words than men. A man speaks an average of ten thousand words in a day, but a woman speaks about twenty-five thousand words! There are exceptions, though.
The man is back from work and he has probably exhausted his 10,000 quota since he derives his self-esteem and fulfillment from work.
By the time he is coming back home, he is done for the day, words have been spoken with friends, colleagues, clients, employers, employees, on the phone and so on. He wants to come back home, eat, listen to news, check a few mails, make love to his wife and sleep!
The wife too has probably exhausted 10,000 words at work, but by the time she is home, she still has 15,000 words bubbling in her! It is even worse if she is a housewife! She has nobody to talk to and so people around her say she nags, making repetitions and all that. The fact is that she needs to talk!
So the wife asks her husband “How was work today?” He answers “Fine!” If he is in a good mood, he adds a few more words like, “oh baby, my day was cool, Thank God!”
She is worried he is not talking, but the guy is in no mood to talk.
The husband asks the wife, “how has your day been? And he regrets afterwards! That was all she needs to unleash the words that have been brewing in her like a molten magma. The volcanic eruption of words is so massive; the guy wants to walk away. So she starts from when she woke up, and goes on and on, and the man is wondering: “What did I ask, what is she narrating!”
You see, that is a woman for you and you must not mute her or shut her up! Let her talk! Don’t make a mistake of shouting her down all the time or quieting her! It is a legitimate need of hers.
When a woman has no fear of God and this legitimate need of hers has not been met, she might succumb to the traps of the devil and get that legitimate need met through illegitimate means, which of course will be detrimental to the marriage and the home!
There are people out there who are waiting to capitalize on your insensitivity to your wife and take advantage of that emotional gully created by lack of communication.
You see, a lady becomes emotionally connected to the person she talks to!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My mouth is full of right words. The opening of my mouth is unto wisdom and grace.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Spirit of God, fill my mouth with right words over my spouse, children and family
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY (Pro 18:4) The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Fix a time for a hearty discussion
Yesterday, we started looking at some pressures singles face, especially in the areas of relationships and marriage.
Let’s continue…
f. Self-imposed Deadlines
Deadlines are good and advisable, especially in goals achievement; however, they could be a source of pressure, especially in relationships.
You need to be patient and understand that God is involved in it too. He is even more interested than you are in your relationship, and He wants you to marry the right person, at the right time. Things become beautiful in His own time, not your own time.
Do not unnecessarily be in a hurry. The decision of a life-long relationship is worth giving all the time you can reasonably afford. Don’t rush into marriage. Courtship is necessary! Get to know him or her!
g. Emergencies
Do not get pressurized into a relationship because of emergencies. He just won a visa lottery, or got transferred to a distant location, or got a political or ministerial appointment, so he decided to make haste and get married for reasons that could range from ensuring he wouldn’t lose her due to distance or some other reasons.
If you are not very sure of him/her as your right life partner, do not make a marital commitment. Don’t yield to pressures when things become so fast you cannot think again.
Be wary of getting married to somebody you met last week online and then you are planning to resign your job and travel somewhere!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am filled with God’s wisdom to rule my house.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 MSG The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
You should not only call the disciples (other friends) into your marriage, but you need to call Jesus as well. Both Jesus and his disciples were called. When they needed a miracle, it wasn’t the disciples that turned water into wine, they were busy drinking wine, but it was Jesus. There are times when the wine of the marriage dries up, and it is Jesus you need at such times.
In marriage, you need the person of Jesus and the principles of Jesus to make it. But you know, a marriage full of sexual compromise and lack of self-control is not giving space for Jesus at all. When you start having adultery, you are doing things worthy of self-rustication from the school. You are kicking at your teacher and you are trying to say you want things done your own way.
A marriage where the husband, wife or both of them are cheating are disenfranchising themselves from the very help and wisdom they need in their marriage! The scripture advises that you drink water from your own cistern!
Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? – Proverbs 5:15 – 20
When you drink water from your own cistern (talking about making love with your wife), it is like water turned into wine. How sweet it is!
But, when you drink water from strange women and cisterns, you are taking poison! It tastes sweet in your mouth but it will hurt you!
Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel. – Proverbs 20:17
The teacher is compassionate! He stands at the door of the class, in your heart, and simply wants you to extend an invitation to him to enter the class! In your marriage, the wine will always be insufficient.
Your own wisdom will fail you. But he is there to help you out, if you invite him!
Will you invite him today? It is the best thing to do. He will save you from shame and keep the wine of your marriage, life and destiny flowing beautifully. He will teach you how to make your marriage a bliss and not full of blisters, how to make it a haven and not an oven!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY In my marriage, I will not be cut off in the midst of my days. I will last in the marriage institution.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal 2:15 MSG GOD, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse.
There are pressures everywhere. There are pressures that often attempt to take pleasure out of our relationships.
Let’s take a look at some pressures in the area of relationships and how to handle them.
We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; – 2Co 4:8 KJV
1. Sexual attraction
Physical attraction which often leads to sexual attraction can constitute so much pressure. Her possession of all the right statistics, the lips, tips and hips, or his good-looking appearance, height, muscles and riches should not captivate your mind to the point of getting you love-sick with unnecessary pressure.
The truth is that you can actually be in control (just as you have to be), get to know the person well before entering a relationship.
Don’t put yourself under any pressure over somebody you met a few hours ago. You cannot fall in love with someone you don’t know!
The pressure of sexual attraction also plays out itself in extra-marital and adulterous scenarios. You cannot bow under that pressure for any reason, even if you have to be thrown into furnace of fire like the three Hebrew boys where you are being threatened of losing some job or contract.
You should not sleep with your boss in order to keep your job! When you do that, you might think you have sustained your job or some promotions, but I can assure you that you would also have sustained havocs in your life and family and it will all culminate in regrets.
Why? It is not God’s order of doing things. Your body is not for all and sundry, it is not a tool to get what you want; it is the temple of God!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am filled with God’s wisdom to rule my house.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 MSG The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
There are several factors that could literally put an end to a marriage. Marriage is an institution by itself. Someone rightly said that marriage is the only institution where you get the certificate first (on the wedding day) before you start learning!
Marriage is an inevitable school, a marital academy, not a martial school! There are so many things to learn and its curriculum lasts a life time. You never graduate. That is why you were given the certificate before you start the learning to prepare you for the reality.
However, the certificate does not change you in any way, it only binds you to the institution.
Marriage is like a car with no reverse gear! Once you try to fabricate a reverse gear, you tamper with the vehicle of marriage and you are no longer consistent with the manufacturer’s specification. The result is a damaged vehicle and before you know it, the car is grounded, the occupants are immobilized, and progress is truncated!
In the school of marriage, the matriculation and convocation take place the same day. You enroll and you get your certificate the same day. You are allowed to wear your graduation gown (wedding gown) and throw a party. And then the school begins.
There will be no graduation, neither are you allowed to withdraw (divorce) anyhow. Your spouse becomes your instructor and student at the same time. Your mark each other’s scripts. There will be several term papers, assignments, projects that touch you on the physical, emotional and psychological realms.
You are not allowed to be a day student. You are a boarder! No frolicking around! You are to focus on the curriculum, on your classmate and listen to several tutorials that will come your way to make you become a better student.
If you are good in Mathematics, your spouse will probably be good in English Language. While you are you are busy with your engineering, she is busy with her Home Economics. Trust me, this school can be enjoyed and not endured!
However you always have an internal examiner (Holy Spirit) that is ever ready to give you Areas of Concentration, if you ask. And of course there is the external examiner who is ever watching you and who will eventually reward for being a good spouse.
Joh 2:2 KJV And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.
Jesus was called to the marriage! His reward packages include favour, grace, help, open doors and so many others too numerous to mention.
You have one great manual, it is the word of life and it contains all answers to every question, puzzle or enigma that might rear up its head.
You are not allowed to fight with your only classmate. That is one of the rules of the class! You are to love, cherish adore and learn together. Learning has to be fun because it is life-long. You are not permitted to go into unnecessary and needless mood swings that leave your partner wondering what went wrong.
If you ever get into strife with your partner in class, your examiner will work out of the class and you won’t see him again until you make up! The examiner will disappear and you are left on your own, so never fight! If you quarrel, make up quickly!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY In my marriage, I will not be cut off in the midst of my days. I will last in the marriage institution.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal 2:15 MSG GOD, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse.
