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Ten Ways to Overcome The Trauma of Infidelity 

Infidelity is a traumatic experience that can shake the foundations of a marriage. It can be a full-blown affair or an emotional affair. Either way, it can be painful. However, with commitment, effort, and support, couples can overcome infidelity and rebuild their relationship. Here are the top ten ways to overcome infidelity in marriage

1. Acknowledge and Accept

Acknowledge the infidelity and accept the pain it has caused. Avoid denial, as it can prolong the healing process. Denial holds on to a shovel of offence and digs deep into the pit of bitterness. 

 Psalm 46:1 says God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Let God help you at this trying time, however, it is important to acknowledge and accept what has happened. 

2. Communicate Openly

Establish open and honest communication to address the hurt and resentment. Create a safe space for both partners to express their feelings. Keeping quiet and mute will aggravate the situation. Be naked and not ashamed. Keeping secrets will only raise more suspicion, and that can be agonising.

Ephesians 4:15 talks about “Speaking the truth in love.”

3. Seek Professional Help

Marriage counselling or therapy can provide guidance and support throughout the healing process. A professional can help you navigate the challenges of rebuilding your relationship. A threefold cord is not easily broken, Get a mutual mentor or a professional to help you navigate the trying times. Don’t keep quiet while you both suffer silently. There is always someone who can help you both, God will never leave you destitute of wisdom and support. Be humble to accept the help God has placed around you and don’t allow shame or pride to keep you further in chains. 

4. Forgiveness and Understanding

Forgiveness is a process, and it may take time. Try to understand the reasons behind the infidelity and work towards forgiveness. A good marriage is one of two forgivers. Make forgiveness easy for your spouse by being open and sincere. One more lie or insincerity is like reopening and hurting the wound more. 

“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32.


5. Rebuild Trust

Trust is a crucial aspect of any relationship. Take small steps to rebuild trust, such as being transparent and consistent with your actions. Be faithful to your words, and be a person of integrity. This will help rebuild the already ruptured trust between the two of you. Avoid actions that will further raise suspicion. 

The Passion Translation of 1Co 13:4 says that  Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all.

6. Heal Individually

Healing is a personal journey, and focusing on individual growth and development is essential. Engage in self-care activities and prioritise personal well-being. Rely on the help of the Holy Spirit at this time. Let him hold you by the hands and bring healing to your soul. Psalm 23:3in the Amplified version says  “He refreshes and restores my life”

7. Rekindle Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is vital in a marriage. Make an effort to reconnect emotionally and strengthen your bond. Start learning to communicate deeply. Start speaking each other’s love language and show yourselves that you care about one another. Start communicating eyeball to eyeball. Start wooing each other again. Avoid gaslighting and stonewalling as that will stifle emotional intimacy. 

8. Create New Memories

Create new, positive memories together to help shift the focus away from the infidelity. Do new things together. Focus on one another. Let your spouse know that they are the next in your life and emotions after God. Travel together, and again and bring laughter back into your relationship. 

“Forget the things which are behind, and reach forth unto those things which are before;” Philippians 3:13.

9. Set Boundaries

Establish boundaries to prevent similar situations from arising in the future. Disconnect with all you have emotional attachment with. Delete those numbers and refuse to contact them again. Ask God to help you put your body under. Discipline your thoughts and your eyes. Cast down all lustful imaginations with the help of the Holy Spirit. 

The Passion Translation of Romans 12:2 says “Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.”

10. Commit to Change

Commit to making positive changes in your relationship and individual lives. Work together to build a stronger, healthier marriage. It takes two of you. Prove your commitment with actions and ask God to help you indeed. As your spouse sees your commitment, trust will be rebuilt. 


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