Most of the time, our immediate actions have futuristic consequences, which is why we have to be careful about what we do or what we don’t do. Our choices – whether good or bad, transcend us.
David, for example, chose to go for another man’s wife after murdering him. One would think God’s silence on the matter for over a year meant He approved David’s actions. Well, his choices threw his family into problems as the sword never departed from his house.
What about Abraham, the father of faith? He wanted a permanent solution to his issue of childlessness as the supposed promise of God was taking too long to manifest. Of course, we know he eventually had to send Ishmael away.
I could also talk about Samson, Joseph, Gehazi, Saul, and a host of others whose choices outlived them.
What is my point this morning? It doesn’t end with you. That 5 minutes of pleasure doesn’t end there. That subtle text doesn’t end there. Yes, it is taking longer than you thought but compromising has never solved any problem beforehand. Ask everyone who has compromised in one way or another. It never ended there. More often than not, the moment you are done compromising, then the issues begin.
Jos 24:15 [NKJV] And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”
Before you take that decision, think about your children. Think about your assignment. Think about your purpose. Jesus could have easily turned the stones into bread. He not only had the power, he was hungry, but he knew better. He knew his work on earth was more than bread.
Like we say in Nigeria; the food you do not have plans to put in your mouth, do not bring it close to your nose.
This Is Not Good For Any Marriage. Responsibility has been abdicated by Mr. Johnson! His wife has become the head of the house. As much as the wife thought she is helping out, an abnormality has crept into that home and it would impact all including the children. They would grow up to see an abnormality as the norm!
Sometimes, it is just the husband’s way of maintaining peace at home, but eventually, storms are gathering because God’s order is being violated. The fact that volcanic eruption has not taken place is not enough of an indication that molten magma is absent within the crust in all its fury.
What are the abnormal scenarios?
1. When the wife becomes the head of the house
Certainly, this is not good for any marriage.
A marriage in which the wife calls the shot is one that is trying to come against God’s order.
A marriage in which the wife insists on her own way of doing things all the time, disregards the leadership of her husband, and manipulates him into doing her bidding will not last.
Eph 5:23 (KJV) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
It is simply not God’s order. Most of the time, husbands who allow such to pass and seem docile are involved in one compromise or the other. Their conscious abdication and docility are the price they pay for the unfaithfulness.
Sooner or later, you’ll discover that you cannot be wiser than God. This Is Not Good For Any Marriage
For singles, do not marry anybody who is lazy, laid back, unwilling to work, and unwilling to take responsibility. This is because this will continue or get even more intense after marriage! The accompanying frustration can hasten departure from this milieu.
2. When the husband abdicates responsibility
A marriage in which the husband refuses to play his role by just being irresponsible will be riddled with issues.
The role of the father cannot be over-emphasized.
Our regeneration needs men that would stand up to what God has called them to do!
The husband is to provide leadership!
Eph 5:23 (MSG) The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
The eyes are located in the head, hence, the sight faculty, the navigation system for the family, the compass, and direction all lie with the husband or father.
The moment this is not supplied, the family can actually get lost in the forest of abuses, absurdities, addictions, and more vile things! This Is Not Good For Any Marriage.
For those who are single, being responsible over you includes waiting for sex till after the wedding! When a party wants sex, by all means, something is not quite right. This will also play out in other areas of life. Being responsible is being able to delay gratification!
I will stop here this morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My relationship/marriage will be good
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, restore your joy back into my relationship/marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Tit 3:3-4 (KJV) For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. [4] But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be committed to your relationship / marriage
What other signs are there to show that you are ready for marriage? Read on to find out.
If you missed yesterday’s devotional, you can read it HERE
3. You are responsible and committed.
Signs of perpetual irresponsibility show that you are not ready for marriage.
Are people always referring to you as irresponsible?
Are people always “concerned” about your habits and dispositions?
Yes, while men may be wrong at most times in their judgments, you should not ignore multiple corrections of the same thing by different people.
By the time your parents, siblings, school teacher, lecturer, Pastor, and lover complain about the same thing, then you need to pay some attention to that thing.
You see, your weaknesses can be oblivious to you and yet obnoxious in the least.
God will often use people around you while single, to expose some of the weaknesses you cannot even notice.
You can be so anointed and yet blind to the dangerous dispositions which are counter-productive for marriage. This is why the scripture says:
Who is blind, but my servant? or deaf, as my messenger that I sent? who is blind as he that is perfect, and blind as the LORD’S servant? – Isaiah 42:19 (KJV)
You can be a good praying Christian with good intentions and yet marriage becomes a mess.
This is because your good intentions are not enough, your commitment, resolution, and responsibility are required.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am improving and getting better
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me areas of my life I need to work on in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 42:19 (AMPC) Who is blind but My servant [Israel]? Or deaf like My messenger whom I send? Who is blind like the one who is at peace with Me [who has been admitted to covenant relationship with Me]? Yes, who is blind like the Lord’s servant?
Have you started taking responsibility? I remember when I was little and my mother gave me some money to buy fish from the market. When I got to the woman selling the fish, I couldn’t find the money I was given. Guess what happened when I got home? My mother was angry and scolded me for losing the money.
Why do you think my mother was angry? Was she right to be angry? The answer is “yes”. It was my responsibility to keep the money well. It was in my possession and I should have kept it well. I was trusted to keep it safe and get what I was sent.
Responsibility means doing what is expected of you and accepting the consequences for either doing or not doing these things. This means that as a child, there are things you are meant to do, say or keep. Things you will be responsible for. And as you grow older these things increase in size and time.
“Each person should judge his own actions. Then he can be proud for what he himself has done. Each person must be responsible for himself.” – Gal. 6:5 ICB
The bible verse above says that you are to judge your own actions, check if you are proud of what you do and that you should be responsible for yourself. In other words, are you proud that you are responsible or not? Judge yourself.
May the Lord give you enlightenment about being responsible. Amen
Prayer: Lord Jesus, I open my heart as I learn about responsibility. Help me to keep my heart open. Amen.
Action point: Ask your parents what your responsibilities are if you don’t know them. if you do, as the bible verse said, are you proud of your actions?
I have often been asked why guys often delay in marriage. From ladies’ expectations towards court marriage, church marriage, or traditional marriage, there have been so many disappointments and sudden cancellations.
Oftentimes, people enter relationships without marriage counseling of any form. These days, there are many good and godly marriage therapists especially in form of online marriage counseling.
The single, as well as the married, are supposed to take advantage of all these in order to ensure that mistakes are avoided.
Here are some reasons why men often delay or develop a sore foot when it comes to getting married.
1. They are actually not ready Most of the time, the guys are not ready. So when you start talking about marriage, they hear you with one side of the ear and allow it to escape through the other.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
They will usually ask you to wait or even get angry when you bring up the subject. Don’t waste your time trying to beg him, he is simply not ready. If you successfully push him into marriage, he would complain for a long time at any slight pressure.
2. They are scared of responsibilities Another reason is that an average man is just scared of the responsibilities involved especially if he has gone through the trauma of being raised in a broken home or by a divorcee.
It all has a way of influencing his perspectives on marriage. Only God’s word can bring renewal of mind and a balanced outlook to what marriage really is.
3. They are not ready to raise a family They may just not be ready to raise a family. In his mind, someone is still raising him as far as he is concerned. He is still Mummy’s boy.
If you marry a mummy’s boy, the mummy will rule your home, in reality, or by proxy.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry rightly. I will not meet with men who will delay me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from men who want to delay me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 [KJV] And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.