Before God brings the right person into your life, He often focuses on making you the right person. Many singles spend years praying for the perfect partner but overlook the importance of preparation. Ruth wasn’t sitting idly by waiting for Boaz; she was living faithfully, serving diligently, and growing in character. It was her consistency in doing the right things that positioned her for divine connection.
Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Godly relationships are not built on outward attraction but on inward transformation. When your heart is yielded to God, He refines your values, strengthens your patience, and builds your faith.
Becoming the right person means developing the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23), learning self-control, and being content in God’s timing. It means letting God work on your weaknesses and heal areas that could later harm your relationship. Philippians 2:13 says, “it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.”
Don’t just pray for a partner; pray to be the kind of person who adds value, love, and stability to someone’s life. When God sees your readiness, He aligns your steps with His perfect plan.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. spread the word!
There is that space between “I’m working on myself” and “I think I’m ready to love someone,” but you’re also dealing with memories, soul ties, silent temptations, past mistakes, and the fear that you might not get it right.
I used to think I just needed to wait, pray, and stay busy. But healing and wholeness go beyond that. There are layers to it, things you won’t post about. Areas where it’s not about doing devotions or attending programs—it’s more about dealing with the stuff you’ve been ignoring:
That situationship you never fully healed from.
The attention you still crave from people who aren’t serious.
The guilt from compromising, even when you knew better.
That fake confidence you put on to act like this season isn’t hard sometimes.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” — Matthew 5:8
So yes, wholeness before romance. No pretense whatsoever. Rather, you are you, just growing to become the best version of what God has ordained you to be.
Areas of wholeness
Wholeness here means you’re no longer depending on people for validation. It means your heart has been checked, your boundaries are clear, and your peace isn’t easily shaken just because someone left or didn’t choose you. It’s learning how to guard your heart without hardening it, and that takes real growth, not just time.
Spiritually, it’s about more than reading your Bible or showing up to church. This is about whether your life is actually built around God, or if He’s just someone you run to when your plans don’t work out. If your connection with God rises and falls based on your emotions or your relationship status, something’s off. Being spiritually whole means your identity is rooted in what God says about you—not how lonely you feel, who left, or how long you’ve been waiting. You’re not searching for someone to complete you spiritually; you’re learning to walk with God daily, not just when it’s convenient or when life gets hard. That kind of stability matters, especially when emotions get involved.
Sexually, it’s not just about whether you’re sleeping with someone or not. You can be physically abstinent and still be struggling. Sexual wholeness has more to do with mindset, discipline, and how you respond to pressure, temptation, and loneliness. Are you having conversations you shouldn’t? Are you feeding thoughts and fantasies that slowly wear you down? Are you excusing small compromises because “it’s not that deep”? This is where honesty matters. Sexual purity isn’t just about rules—it’s about not giving yourself away in pieces because you’re tired of waiting. It’s about choosing discipline even when nobody’s clapping for it, because you know your body is not a bargaining chip—it’s sacred. And even if you’ve messed up before, sexual wholeness is still possible when you let God deal with the root, not just the symptoms.
Before bringing someone else into your life, there are certain areas you have to be honest about. Not because you have to be perfect, but because if you’re not whole in these parts of your life, you may end up carrying confusion, frustration, or even damage into the relationship.
Emotionally, it’s easy to think you’ve moved on, until something small exposes the fact that you haven’t. You may not be dating anyone, but your emotions are still tied to someone you stopped talking to months ago. Or you find yourself getting anxious, overly attached, or shutting down quickly because of unresolved issues from your past.
In conclusion
Wholeness isn’t about getting ready for someone—it’s about finally showing up for yourself. The emptiness you feel isn’t fixed by being chosen; it’s healed by letting God into the parts you’ve avoided. Love won’t save you. But God will. And that’s where real healing begins.
How to Fight for Your Relationship as a Single Person
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Being single doesn’t mean you’re sidelined in the journey of love—it’s an opportunity to prepare, grow, and actively position yourself for the relationship God has designed for you. While society often pressures singles to “wait” passively, Scripture encourages us to take intentional steps toward the future He has promised. Here’s how you can fight for your future relationship while still single.
1. Fight for Your Own Growth
The foundation of any healthy relationship starts with you. Use this season to become the best version of yourself spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Focus on developing qualities like patience, kindness, humility, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Invest time in personal hobbies, education, or skills that align with your purpose. When you prioritize growth, you not only honor God but also prepare yourself to contribute positively to a future partnership.
Proverbs 4:7 says, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.” Wisdom and maturity are gifts you bring into any relationship, so start cultivating them now.
2. Fight Through Prayer and Fasting
One of the most powerful ways to fight for your future relationship is through prayer and fasting. Ask God to prepare both you and your future spouse. Pray for clarity about His timing, protection from unhealthy relationships, and guidance toward the right person. Fasting adds spiritual intensity to your prayers, demonstrating your dependence on God rather than your own efforts.
Matthew 7:7 reminds us, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Trust that God hears your cries and is working behind the scenes to align everything according to His perfect plan.
3. Fight Against Negative Mindsets
Society bombards singles with messages of inadequacy, loneliness, and impatience. Combat these lies by renewing your mind with truth from Scripture. Remind yourself daily that your identity isn’t tied to relationship status—it’s rooted in Christ (Ephesians 2:10). Refuse to settle out of desperation or fear of being alone. Instead, embrace singleness as a gift (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) and use this time to deepen your walk with God.
Philippians 4:8 encourages us to focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Fill your mind with these truths instead of doubt or discouragement.
4. Fight for Healthy Boundaries
Even as a single person, boundaries are essential. They protect your heart and ensure you’re pursuing relationships that honor God. Set clear standards for the type of person you’ll date—for example, someone who shares your faith, values, and commitment to Christ. Avoid compromising just because you feel pressure to be in a relationship.
Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Establishing boundaries demonstrates self-respect and attracts partners who value you appropriately.
5. Fight by Building Strong Friendships
Healthy friendships lay the groundwork for strong romantic relationships. Surround yourself with godly men and women who model Christlike character and can offer wise counsel when needed. Learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and show empathy within friendships—skills that will serve you well in marriage.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 highlights the importance of community: “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Cultivate meaningful connections that reflect God’s love and prepare you for partnership.
Fighting for your relationship as a single person means trusting God’s timing while actively preparing yourself for the blessing He has in store. It’s not about sitting idly by but engaging in the process of becoming ready—spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.
Remember, Psalm 37:4 promises, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” As you focus on growing closer to God and living purposefully, He will align your life with His plans, including the right relationship at the right time. So keep fighting—not out of desperation, but out of faith. Your future begins today.
Diving into a serious relationship isn’t something to take lightly, right? It’s not just about finding someone cute to Netflix with on weekends. It’s about understanding yourself and being ready to share your life with someone else in a deeper way. How do you know if you’re actually ready? Here are some clear signs—and trust me, it’s more than just a vibe.
1. You’re Emotionally Stable (Most of the Time)
Life can get messy, and relationships can make it even messier. But if you can handle stress, manage your emotions, and talk about your feelings without spiraling, you’re probably more ready for commitment than you think. Emotional stability is key because, in a relationship, you’ll face stuff that tests your patience and your ability to compromise. Think about it: Can you keep your cool when things go sideways? If yes, you’re off to a solid start.
Quick Check-In:
Do you bounce back from setbacks without holding grudges?
Are you able to talk things out instead of bottling them up?
2. You Know What You Want (And What You Don’t)
Got some personal goals? Whether it’s crushing it in your career, traveling the world, or saving for a tiny house, having clarity on your dreams means you’re not just floating along. When you know what you want from life, it’s easier to find someone whose goals vibe with yours. Plus, a relationship should add to your life, not derail it.
How to Get There:
Write down your goals. Make a vision board or start a journal.
Think about what values and qualities matter most to you in a partner.
3. You Can Compromise Without Feeling Like You’re Losing
Relationships need compromise—it’s basically the fine print in the relationship contract. If you can balance what you want with what your partner wants, without feeling like you’re giving up too much, you’re ready for a serious relationship. It could be little things, like deciding where to eat, or bigger stuff, like budgeting for shared goals.
Examples of Healthy Compromises:
The travel vs. saving debate: Agree on one big trip and save the rest.
Weekend plans: Split time between things you each love.
4. Communication? You’re Pretty Good at It
Good communication is EVERYTHING in relationships. If you’re ready to listen, share your thoughts openly, and actually talk things through, you’re on the right track. Relationships need open dialogue and active listening—like really listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk.
Communication Tips:
Practice using “I” statements (“I feel like…” instead of “You always…”).
Be honest, but kind—speak the truth, but keep it respectful.
5. You’ve Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are key because they help keep the balance between “we” and “me.” When you have healthy boundaries, you’re less likely to lose yourself in the relationship or feel overwhelmed. A serious relationship isn’t about merging identities but about keeping individuality while growing together.
How to Set Boundaries:
Know your non-negotiables. What are your hard limits?
Communicate these to your partner in a clear and kind way.
6. You’ve Got a Solid Support System
Having a reliable group of friends or family you can turn to is a big deal. A support system can keep you grounded, give you a reality check, and help you process any relationship ups and downs. Plus, if you’re only leaning on your partner for support, things can get heavy fast.
Pro Tips for Building Your Support Squad:
Stay connected to friends and family, even when you’re in a relationship.
Reach out regularly—check in on others and share updates about your life.
7. You’ve Learned From Your Past Relationships
If you’ve looked back on your past relationships and actually learned something from them, congrats—you’re ahead of the game. Reflecting on past relationships helps you recognize patterns (good and bad) and gives you insight into what you need to work on before jumping into something serious again.
Reflective Questions:
What went wrong in past relationships, and what could you change?
What did you enjoy, and what do you want to find again in a new relationship?
8. You Crave Real Intimacy, Not Just the Fun Stuff
Wanting to connect on a deeper level with someone—emotionally and physically—is a strong sign of readiness. It’s the difference between casual dating and seriously wanting to build something meaningful. This kind of intimacy goes beyond cute Instagram photos; it’s about sharing your highs and lows and feeling safe enough to be vulnerable.
Ways to Cultivate Intimacy:
Spend quality time doing things that make you feel close.
Share your thoughts, dreams, and even insecurities.
Are You Ready?
Being ready for a serious relationship doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It just means you’re in a place where you know yourself, you know what you want, and you’re willing to put in the work. Relationships aren’t easy, but when you’re truly ready, they’re a lot more rewarding. So, take a look at where you’re at, and if you check most of these boxes, maybe you’re more ready than you think.
