1. Do not pass the night in his house If you do, you can end up pleasing him and offending God. Losing God’s support and favor is not what anybody should experience
2. Do not succumb to any sexual pressures Stay sane. Stay strong. Do not melt like stew every time someone touches you. You are not a sexual toy. You are not a sexual object. Relationships that are sex driven do not last.
3.Do not double date Don’t welcome deception into your heart. It is a dangerous visitor. The capacity to cheat on him or her is a capacity that ends in destruction. Be faithful.
4. Do not fall into comparison traps We are all unique. We will not all take off at the same time and sure enough arrival points will be different.
2Co 10:12 (KJV) For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
5. Do not sow seed of bitterness Avoid use of wrong words. Words are spirits! Let go of abusive words, vulgar words and curse words. Speak healthy words
6. Encourage him in that which is good Be an encourager. Be a helper. Seek his advancement.
7. Seek God together and for each other Pray a lot for him. Seek for God and do it with all your heart.
Jer 29:13 (KJV) And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
8. Pay attention to your spiritual life Grow. Read. Learn. Serve.
Ask questions when you are in the presence of great people.
9. Get a mentor over your relationship. Mentors will fence off tormentors of destinies. Stay connected.
10. Avoid strife completely Strife ushers in dryness. Avoid it like a plague. Confusion lies on the bosom of strife.
Jas 3:16 (KJV) For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
May God grant more understanding on how to love God.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The Lord is my helper
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for grace to love God.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 3:3 (KJV) But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
I will be addressing the issue of how husbands and wives can handle stress in marriage thereby creating a more cordial and intimate atmosphere together.
I will be writing about this topic “Stress in marriage” for some days so let enjoy the ride together.
Yesterday I wrote on
1. Financial pressure
2. Handling in-laws
And today
3. Comparison trap
Bible tells us they that compare themselves with themselves are not wise.
In the NLT we have another translation:
Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with reaching other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! 2 Corinthians 10:12 NLT
It is clear from the scripture that end result of comparison is usually not palatable. Why is this? Because it is a futile effort. It is wasting precious resources of time and energy. There are no basis for comparison.
Some people compare their spouses, children, jobs, possessions, cars etc When you form the bad habit of comparing you compare everything and anything.
Everybody is uniquely different, on a uniquely different journey, on a different time table in life and destiny.
We are all from different background with different circumstances.
When you compare, you introduce stress into your marriage. It produces a strain in your relationship. So stop comparing.
4. Doing beyond our selves.
This is like stretching ourselves beyond what we could do naturally. We need to be true to ourselves. Being truthful and sincere to ourselves is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
Where you know and accept your limits and you know your boundaries. You know the stage you are in, enjoy the stage not allowing anybody to push you beyond where you are.
Knowing what stage you are makes you aspire higher knowing that men are in sizes.
As couples, don’t forget we will all go through 3 stages on our married life. Seasons of not enough, Just enough and more than enough.
When you are in your season of ‘just enough’, don’t let people push you to doing like you are in more than enough season
I will stop here for today
May God grant us more understanding.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Stress can simply be defined as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.
This definition helps us to understand that stress is a tension or strain and it could be mental or emotional. It could also be physical or spiritual.
Jesus talked about those who are weary and heavy laden
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 NLT
Usually, since we are spirit beings, any strain on our spiritual life will have a way of impacting our whole being. Whatever affects our relationship with God affect the whole of our being.
Chief among the things that causes stress or strain on our relationship with God is sin.
So it’s possible, to have an unconfessed sin in your life and be doing through stress as a result.
Or maybe we fail to put our trust in God, or maybe we are walking in the flesh or not following the leading or guidance of the Holy spirit. All this causes us stress which will eventually cause a strain in our marriage.
A good example of this is when Abram and Sarah decided to get pregnant by Hagar and gave birth to Ishamel. There was so much strain and tension in the marriage.
Anger, strife, malice, not walking in love and all other works of the flesh also causes stress in marriage
There are some other stressors in marriage that are not as a result of sin but are the once we put on ourselves.
I will mention a few of them.
1. Financial pressure 2. Dealing with in-laws 3. Comparison 4. Doing beyond ourselves 5. Not minding our business 6. Not being able to say No 7. Being Unforgiving to our spouse 8. Not being open and transparent. 9. Unrealistic expectations 10. Ungratefulness
Now let’s handle these stressors one by name. To open our eyes to how these simple issues can bring about and cause a lot of stress to our marriage thereby causing a strain in our relationship with our loved one.
1. Financial pressures and not being able to manage our finances.
We know that money answereth all things
A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things. Ecclesiastes 10:19 KJV.
Our ability to cut our coat according to our cloth will go a long way to determine whether we will be putting a lot of stress on our marriage or not.
Delaying gratification, being able to save a little portion for the rainy day no matter his small, being prudent, living on a budget and not being sentimental are all very good virtues.
2. Dealing with in-laws.
This requires a lot of wisdom, tact, patience and working together with your spouse to make sure you are always together on the same page. The most important person in this equation is your spouse. The covenant of marriage places your spouse above your parents.
You honor your parents, bible is very clear about that but you also don’t dishonor your spouse for the sake of your parents or in-laws. There is no one answer fits all but whichever way, follow the bible and follow the Holy spirit guidelines.
There may be times you have to sacrifice beyond what you normally would have, if you are sure God is leading you, obey. God usually rewards such acts tremendously.
Let me stop here today. I will continue tomorrow by God grace.
May God grant us more understanding beyond this teaching.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
