Eight Loving Things Wives Passionately Want from Their Devoted Husbands
Emotional Support
Emotional support plays a critical role in the foundation of a healthy marriage. Wives often seek empathy, understanding, and validation from their husbands as a primary source of emotional sustenance. The need for emotional support is not simply about solving problems but rather about feeling heard and valued.
Active listening is one of the most effective ways husbands can provide emotional support. This involves giving full attention to their wives without interruption, acknowledging their feelings, and responding thoughtfully. By doing so, husbands can make their wives feel understood and respected, which fosters a deeper emotional connection.
Being present is another essential aspect. In today’s fast-paced world, it can be challenging to set aside time and focus on one’s partner. However, prioritizing quality time—whether through daily conversations, shared activities, or simply being physically present—demonstrates commitment and care. This presence reinforces a sense of partnership and solidarity.
Showing compassion, especially during challenging times, is equally important. Life’s difficulties, such as personal losses, work stress, or health issues, can be overwhelming. Husbands who offer a shoulder to lean on and express genuine concern can significantly alleviate their wives’ emotional burdens. Simple gestures of tenderness and reassurance can make a profound difference in how supported a wife feels.
Communication
Effective communication plays a pivotal role in strengthening relationships, particularly between husbands and wives. Open, honest, and respectful dialogue is essential for fostering mutual understanding and trust. To improve communication with their wives, husbands should prioritize regular check-ins. This could mean setting aside dedicated time each day or week to discuss various aspects of life, ranging from daily routines to long-term goals.
Discussing feelings openly is another critical component of healthy communication. Husbands should feel comfortable expressing their emotions and, equally important, be receptive to their wives’ emotional expressions. This practice helps in avoiding misunderstandings, which can often lead to unnecessary conflicts. It is crucial to address issues as they arise rather than letting them fester, as unresolved issues can create emotional distance.
Non-verbal communication is equally significant. Body language, facial expressions, and even tone of voice convey messages that words sometimes fail to express. Being mindful of these cues can enhance understanding and empathy between partners. A simple gesture, like a reassuring touch or a smile, can often communicate support and affection more effectively than words.
Being a good listener is an indispensable quality in a husband. Active listening involves not just hearing the words but understanding the underlying feelings and intentions. This means putting away distractions, maintaining eye contact, and providing feedback that shows genuine interest and concern. Reflective listening, where one repeats what the other has said for clarification, can also be useful to ensure accurate understanding.
Shared Responsibilities
In a contemporary marriage, the concept of shared responsibilities has become crucial in fostering a harmonious and balanced home environment. One of the key elements that wives often seek from their husbands is active participation in household and parenting duties. Sharing responsibilities is not only about splitting chores but also about demonstrating commitment and partnership in maintaining a well-functioning household.
A balanced division of labor can have numerous benefits. When husbands actively engage in tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and laundry, it alleviates the burden on their wives and promotes equality. This shared effort in managing household chores translates to a more organized home, reducing stress and preventing burnout for both partners. Equally important is involvement in childcare, where husbands play a pivotal role in nurturing and supporting their children, creating a nurturing environment that fosters emotional well-being.
Practical ways for husbands to contribute include setting a schedule for household chores, dividing tasks based on strengths or preferences, and ensuring consistent involvement in daily routines. Additionally, being present and engaged in parenting activities such as attending school events, helping with homework, and participating in bedtime routines can significantly strengthen the familial bond.
Furthermore, supporting their wives’ careers and personal goals is a vital aspect of shared responsibilities. This support can be manifested by encouraging continuous professional development, sharing the load of household duties to provide time for personal pursuits, and celebrating their achievements. When husbands show genuine interest and support for their wives’ aspirations, it fosters mutual respect and enhances the partnership.
Affection and Intimacy
In the realm of marital relationships, affection and emotional intimacy are foundational elements that wives highly value. Physical affection, encompassing gestures like hugs, kisses, and holding hands, serves as a tangible expression of love and connection. These small acts of tenderness foster a strong emotional bond, reinforcing the sense of security and belonging between spouses. Compliments and verbal affirmations of love further enhance emotional intimacy, making wives feel appreciated and cherished.
Prioritizing quality time together is crucial to maintaining a healthy and thriving relationship. Couples can nurture their bond by setting aside dedicated time for each other, free from the distractions of daily life. Activities such as shared hobbies, meaningful conversations, or simply enjoying each other’s company can deepen the emotional connection. Additionally, maintaining a healthy sexual relationship is integral to marital satisfaction. Open communication about desires and boundaries, and a willingness to meet each other’s needs, are key components in sustaining physical intimacy.
Keeping the romance alive requires intentional effort and creativity. Regular date nights, whether a night out on the town or a cozy evening at home, provide opportunities for couples to reconnect and enjoy each other’s presence. Surprise gestures, such as love notes, unexpected gifts, or planning a special outing, can reignite the spark and remind each other of the love they share. By consistently nurturing affection and intimacy, husbands can contribute significantly to a fulfilling and harmonious marriage.
Respect and Appreciation
Mutual respect and appreciation are foundational elements in any successful marriage. Respecting each other’s opinions, boundaries, and individuality nurtures a healthy and harmonious relationship. When husbands demonstrate respect for their wives, it cultivates an environment of trust and understanding, essential for the longevity of their union.
One way husbands can show respect is by actively listening to their wives. This means paying attention when she speaks, validating her feelings, and considering her viewpoints seriously. Respecting her boundaries, whether they pertain to personal space, time, or emotional limits, is equally vital. Recognizing and honoring her individuality, rather than trying to change her, shows a deep level of respect.
Appreciation goes hand in hand with respect. Expressing gratitude for both the small and significant efforts that wives make can have a profound impact on the relationship. Simple acts of appreciation, such as saying “thank you” or acknowledging her hard work, can make her feel valued. Celebrating her achievements, whether they are career milestones, personal goals, or family-related accomplishments, further reinforces her importance in the relationship.
Feeling valued and respected has a positive ripple effect on a wife’s well-being and the overall health of the marriage. When a wife feels appreciated, it fosters a sense of security and happiness. This mutual respect and appreciation create a strong foundation, allowing the marriage to thrive and grow. By consistently showing respect and appreciation, husbands can build a loving and enduring partnership with their wives.
Support for Personal Growth
In the realm of a fulfilling marriage, one pivotal aspect is the support for personal growth. When husbands actively encourage their wives to pursue their aspirations, it fosters a nurturing environment where both partners can thrive. This support extends beyond mere verbal affirmations; it encompasses providing the necessary resources, and motivation, and celebrating milestones along the way.
Encouraging personal growth begins with recognizing and respecting each other’s individual goals and passions. Whether it is a career ambition, a desire to further education, or an interest in a new hobby, a husband’s support is vital. Offering words of encouragement can boost confidence and morale, making a wife feel valued and understood. Simple phrases like “I believe in you” or “You can do this” can have a profound impact on one’s drive to achieve personal goals.
Moreover, providing tangible resources can significantly aid in personal development. This might involve financial support for courses or training, assisting with research, or even taking on additional household responsibilities to free up time for the wife to pursue her interests. For instance, if a wife is passionate about painting, a thoughtful gesture could be setting up a small studio space at home, equipped with the necessary supplies.
Celebrating milestones is another crucial component of supporting personal growth. Acknowledging and celebrating achievements, no matter how small reinforces a sense of accomplishment and motivates continued efforts. This could range from congratulating her on completing a project to planning a special dinner to celebrate a promotion. Such gestures not only validate her efforts but also strengthen the emotional bond within the marriage.
Trust and Honesty
Trust and honesty serve as the bedrock of any successful marriage. These elements are not merely abstract concepts but essential pillars that support the relationship’s overall stability and health. When a husband is truthful, transparent, and reliable, it fosters an environment where both partners feel secure and valued. Trust is built over time through consistent actions that demonstrate reliability and integrity.
One of the crucial aspects of trust is keeping promises. Whether it’s a small commitment like being home for dinner or a significant vow like financial transparency, honoring one’s word strengthens the marital bond. Breaking promises, on the other hand, can erode trust and lead to feelings of betrayal and resentment. Therefore, it is imperative for husbands to follow through on their commitments consistently.
Honesty goes hand-in-hand with trust. Being honest about feelings and concerns, even when they are uncomfortable, is vital for open communication. Concealing emotions or withholding information can create a barrier that hinders mutual understanding. By being forthright, husbands not only validate their own feelings but also create a space where their wives feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and emotions. This open dialogue is crucial for resolving conflicts and achieving mutual respect.
Secrecy can be detrimental to trust in a marriage. When one partner hides aspects of their life, whether minor or significant, it can lead to suspicion and doubt. Transparency in actions and decisions reassures both partners that there is nothing to hide, thereby reinforcing a sense of safety and trustworthiness in the relationship.
Quality Time Together
Spending quality time together is a cornerstone of a strong marital bond. In today’s fast-paced world, busy schedules and daily routines often pose challenges to maintaining meaningful connections. However, prioritizing time for each other is crucial for nurturing a healthy and happy marriage.
Quality time means being fully present and engaged with your spouse, setting aside distractions like work and digital devices. This intentional focus strengthens emotional intimacy and fosters a deeper understanding of each other.
To carve out quality time amidst hectic lives, couples can start by scheduling regular date nights. These don’t have to be elaborate or expensive; the key is consistency and mutual enjoyment. Simple activities such as watching a movie together, going for a walk, or cooking a meal can be incredibly bonding.
Shared hobbies and interests also provide excellent opportunities for couples to reconnect. Whether it’s gardening, playing a sport, or attending a class together, these activities create shared experiences that enrich the relationship. Traveling, even if it’s just a weekend getaway, can break the monotony of everyday life and offer new experiences that bring couples closer.
Moreover, integrating small but meaningful rituals into daily routines can make a significant impact. Having meals together, even breakfast can become a cherished time to catch up and communicate. Establishing a nightly routine, such as reading a book or discussing the day’s events before bed, fosters a sense of closeness and routine.
In the bustling city of Lagos, Nigeria, lived a man named Chike Okonkwo. Chike was a shrewd businessman, revered for his uncanny ability to turn every venture into a goldmine. From humble beginnings, he clawed his way to the top, building an empire that spanned real estate, oil, and import-export businesses. Yet, amid his towering achievements, one thing eluded him: the love of a family.
Chike had always believed that marriage was a transaction, one that required substantial capital to be successful. He watched his peers struggle in their marriages, often due to financial woes, and vowed that he would not fall into the same trap. So, he delayed getting married, dedicating his life to amassing wealth. Even though he could afford to do a classy wedding before now, he deliberately delayed it, because he thought the more money, the more peaceful your home will be. By the time he turned forty, he was one of the richest men in Lagos, ready to find a wife.
At a lavish charity gala, Chike met Adanna, a stunning woman in her late twenties. She was not just beautiful but also intelligent and poised, with a degree from a prestigious university in England. Adanna came from a wealthy family herself, but what drew Chike to her was her charm and grace. He courted her with the fervor of a man on a mission, showering her with expensive gifts, trips abroad, and grand gestures of affection. Adanna, flattered and captivated by his charisma and wealth, soon agreed to marry him.
Their wedding was the talk of the town. No expense was spared: a fleet of luxury cars, a banquet hall adorned with gold and crystal, and a guest list that included the who’s who of Nigerian society. Chike basked in the glory of his success, believing that his financial prowess had secured him the perfect marriage.
For the first few months, their life was a fairy tale. They traveled the world, attended glamorous events, and lived in a palatial mansion that overlooked the Atlantic Ocean. However, beneath the glittering surface, cracks began to form. Adanna, who had always been independent and career-oriented, felt stifled in the role of the pampered wife. She wanted more than just material wealth; she craved purpose and fulfillment.
One evening, Adanna approached Chike with a proposition. She wanted to start her own fashion line, something she had dreamed of for years. This wasn’t the first time she discussed her dreams with Chike, but this time, she felt the outcome would be different. Chike, expecting his wife to be content with her luxurious lifestyle, was taken aback. He dismissed her idea, believing it was a frivolous pursuit and not a wise investment. Adanna, hurt by his lack of support, began to withdraw emotionally.
The tension between them escalated when Chike’s business started facing unexpected challenges. Unbeknownst to Chike, a ruthless rival had been orchestrating his downfall. This rival spread rumors, bribed officials and manipulated markets to sabotage Chike’s empire. The sudden downturn in the oil market, coupled with allegations of corruption and fraud within his company, led to a significant financial crisis. Chike, once confident and invincible, found himself scrambling to maintain his empire. He poured all his energy into saving his businesses, often neglecting Adanna in the process.
Feeling abandoned and unappreciated, Adanna decided she could no longer stay in a marriage where she felt stifled and unsupported. She packed her bags and returned to her father’s house, seeking solace and the opportunity to pursue her dreams. Chike was devastated and enraged when confronted with an empty mansion, the reality of his choices sinking in. His wealth, which he believed would secure his marriage, had failed him.
In the following months, his business empire crumbled under the rival’s relentless sabotage, forcing him to sell off his assets to pay his debts. The man who once had everything was now stripped of his wealth and his pride.
In the aftermath, Chike retreated to his ancestral village, seeking solace and reflection. He realized that he had placed too much value on money and not enough on the true essence of a partnership. He began to rebuild his life, this time with a focus on meaningful relationships and personal growth.
Years later, Chike, having heard of Adanna’s success as a renowned fashion designer, felt a mix of pride and regret. He knew he had wronged her and decided to make amends. With humility, he traveled to her father’s house to apologize and beg for her forgiveness.
Adanna, gracious and forgiving, listened to his heartfelt apology. “You gave me everything except what I truly needed—support, love, and understanding. Money can’t buy those things, Chike. But I appreciate your apology.”
Moved by his sincerity, Adanna saw a possibility for a new beginning. Chike sought her forgiveness and, with hope in their hearts, they decided to start afresh. They attended marriage conferences and sought knowledge in that area, determined to build a stronger foundation for their relationship. They learned about communication, emotional support, and the true essence of partnership.
Together, Chike and Adanna worked on their marriage, understanding that wealth alone could not sustain it. They rebuilt their relationship on love, respect, and mutual support. In time, they found the peace and happiness they had both longed for, proving that the heart of marriage lies not in the wealth that surrounds it, but in the love and respect that bind two souls together.
Blueprints for a Successful Marriage and Home by Bishop Oyedepo.
Before we dive into today’s devotional, I want to wish you a happy new month! God bless you massively! This month, God has given us a word! You will SING a NEW SONG! I’m expecting your testimonies!
The enemy has targeted the family as his number one priority to attack and prevent a Successful Marriage and Home. Bishop Oyedepo shares in his YouTube video titled “How To Build A Successful Home” how to protect your home through the power of God’s Word and have it overflowing with miracles instead of darkness.
1. The Enemy’s Target: The Family.
As we learn from Genesis, Satan was personally introduced as soon as the first family was established by God. His very first activity on earth was directed towards destroying this family unit. Satan appeared immediately after God had concluded the first marriage between Adam and Eve.
Satan knew that the family was central to God’s plan and purpose. By attacking the home, he could undermine what God was establishing. Even today, the home remains one of Satan’s top priorities to infiltrate and dismantle. Whether it is causing strife between husbands and wives or turning children away from their parents, Satan will do anything to wreck God’s design for families.
2. Jesus’ Counter: Establishing Joy at a Wedding.
In direct contrast, the first miracle Jesus performed was at a wedding in Cana to save the celebration. Jesus appeared where Satan had sought to destroy, in the context of marriage and family.
By turning water into wine, Jesus brought joy to the newlywed couple on what should have been a happy occasion. He established that his mandate was to give life abundantly. Just as Satan came to steal, kill, and destroy, Jesus came so that we may have life more plentifully.
This miracle sets the stage for Jesus to undo all of Satan’s works. It showed his heart was for restoring families and taking away any shame that the enemy tried to bring. Wherever Satan brought sorrow, Jesus promises joy instead. Jesus showed His support for a Successful Marriage and Home.
3. Do Whatever God Tells You To Do.
Bishop Oyedepo highlights the servants’ obedience as the key to Jesus performing miracles. When he told them to fill the water pots, they did so fully without question. This is one of the blueprints of a Successful Marriage and Home.
If we want to see miracles in our homes, we must do whatever God says – not half-heartedly, but to the fullest extent. When His Word calls us to honor our spouse, forgive easily, or put our kids first – we must obey without limit. Full obedience unlocks God’s power.
4. Fill the “Water Pots” with the Word.
The servants were filling the pots with water, but the passage likens the water to God’s Word. When we fill our minds and homes with scripture, speaking it over our situations, we position ourselves for miracles.
God’s Word has the power to transform every area, just as the water became wine. Make time each day to read the Bible and pray its truths over your family and you will enjoy a Successful Marriage and Home.
5. Miracles Will Be the Result.
When the servants obeyed Jesus fully by filling the pots to the brim with water, the scripture says he then told them to draw some out and take it to the governor of the feast. And when the ruler tasted it, he declared it the best wine of all – even though it had just been turned from water moments before.
In the same way, when we obey God’s Word completely for our families and homes, miracles will be the inevitable result. Where there was lack, abundance will come. Trouble will turn to triumph. And what the enemy meant for evil, God will use for good beyond what we could ask or think.
Through obedience, our families can be transformed from average to excellent – far surpassing what people expect. So make the choice today to do all that God instructs for your home. Miracles will follow!
6. Avoid Strife.
Bishop Oyedepo noted that Satan works by spreading unauthorized information to cause strife. But God’s people have a distinct advantage – we are called to walk in the light of His Word. To have a Successful Marriage and Home you have to avoid strafe!
7. Walk in the Word and Hear God, Not Men.
When gossip, rumors, or doubts come our way, the Bible instructs us to test everything and hold fast to what is good. We must determine if a message lines up with Scripture or comes from an ungodly source meant to deceive. By hearing God’s voice above all others, no weapon formed against our home can prosper (Isaiah 54:17). His truth protects us from the enemy’s schemes. We will stop here today and continue tomorrow.
There are five levels of communication in marriage. Communication is simply talking, but of cause, there are more things involved than just talking. A healthy conversation involves not just what is said but what is heard.
In essence, communication is a two-way conversation that involves speaking and hearing. The two spouses must form the conscious habit of allowing the other spouse to express himself or herself. While he/ she speaks, the other partner should be actively listening.
Not listening for pleasure, not listening for information but should practice empathic listening. This is putting yourself in the conversation. Trying to understand and feel the impulse of the speaker.
It is unhealthy to dominate a conversation without waiting at intervals to get feedback, to check whether your hearer is hearing the right thing, to know how he/she is processing the information. The aim of your conversation, especially in marriage, is for your partner to understand what you are saying and then obey you.
Listening should not also be done with the intention of giving a reply that will defend your status or what you represent in the marriage covenant.
I think we cannot also have a good conversation with our spouse if our interpretation of what marriage is, is defective. Until we see our marriage from the viewpoint of it being a covenant relationship, every other thing becomes loop-sided.
What we see most couples practicing is a contract and not covenant marriage. This is so important. It is a contract (which could be unwritten and informal) when the marriage is based on mutual benefit. That is, we are both doing something for each other.
For example, I will be nice to you, if you bring in enough money. Or, if you help out in the house, I will prepare the meals. The opposite obtains if your spouse doesn’t do what is expected. I will be very cold and unresponsive to you if you hurt my feelings. I will be uncaring to you if you disrespect me.
Marriage is a covenant in which each partner takes up his/her responsibility. The wife is to submit fully. The husband takes up his responsibility to love her like Christ does irrespective of what she does. It is the aim of a covenant relationship to please and serve the other person despite what he/ she does.
It’s kind of difficult right? Very hard. Especially if you have been to some school of hardknocks where you have been deeply hurt.
If you are starting on a clean note and you have this understanding, how blessed you are.
No matter how farther away we have gone, in Christ there is always a way out. He shows us and leads us in the way since He is the way.
We need to retrace our steps and in humility, accept what works. When a marriage is not working, both partners are responsible. It is not just one person’s fault but the two parties have their contributing factors.
Tomorrow, I will attempt to summarize the five levels of communication. A further read is encouraged on the subject of communication especially by the best-selling author Gary Chapman.
I am sure you will find it rewarding and worth your while.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to communicate with my wife
