A Happy marriage happensby consistent deliberate efforts from both spouses. Marriage is an important part of our lives which is meant to last all of our adult years. That is we are meant to be in a marriage with our partner till death do us part. And for most of us, that’s a long time.
One thing we don’t want to do is to be unhappy throughout our married life. We want to be sure we are happy with our spouse and happy with ourselves.
Here are 10 tips that will help us achieve this.
1. Never bring up the mistake of the past.
In marriage, there will be issues. We are all still a work in progress and still in the days of our flesh. There are bound to be resolved issues (issues in the past), present issues and, some issues to deal with in the past.
Bringing up past issues is like digging a grave and exposing things that should have been buried. It shows you have not fully forgiven your spouse.
Forgiveness is so important in marriage, you cannot afford to joke with it.
You cannot be digging at the past and expect to move forward or be happy.
Get rid of the past as much as possible. Make sure you resist the temptation of shaming your spouse by referring to things of the past, no matter how difficult it seems.
It takes a lot of maturity to keep your mouth shut and not refer to past mistakes.
What goes around comes around. You might be the one that needs to be forgiven next. There might be a mistake you will do in the future that also requires forgiveness. Remember, to err is human. To forgive is divine.
Let’s include some divinity in our marriage.
2. Never neglect each other. Focus on each other.
The issue of focus has now become so obvious in marriages that it needs to be addressed squarely. You see couples that prefer others to their spouse.
When they go out with their spouse, they are not used to themselves. There is no connection. They are just like any other person to them, apart from the fact that they are living together, bearing each other’s name and probably wearing the same clothes.
There should be a heart-to-heart connection. A connection that is beyond words that keep drawing you close to one another.
We have to consciously work on focussing on each other. That focus is essential to our marriage.
Avoid all forms of distractions, emotional affairs, wandering thoughts, that prevent us from focussing on our own.
Let our spouse ever catch our attention spirit, soul, and body. Let us work on focussing our minds on our spouse. No matter what anyone wears or their physical attributes, our spouse is our spouse, period.
It is about our heart. Let work on having the integrity of heart.
I will stop here this morning.
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus mighty name.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me an understanding for my marriage in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY EPH 5:28 ESV In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your spouse today
Pro 13:2-3 KJV (2) A man shall eat good by the fruit of his mouth: but the soul of the transgressors shall eat violence. (3) He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.
I want to write about something important this morning. It is a principle of the scripture and that which guarantees us daily victory in our daily work, in our relationship, marriage, and life generally.
It is what you say with your mouth. What you say with your mouth is very important because it will literarily give direction to your life! The words you say with your mouth are so powerful that they will overwhelm your life and seek to control the events of your life and love affair.
I believe it is for this reason that Jesus Christ said:
Joh 6:63 KJV It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.
When you were born, you needed to make a sound. That would be the sign of life. If a baby refuses to make sounds, he gets some spankings. As the baby grows into a toddler, everybody expects the baby to start talking.
Words are formed eventually and that becomes a sign of growth. You needed to ask a lady out and she needed to respond with words before marriage can happen. Nobody proposes or reply a proposal with silence.
On the wedding day, vows of words are exchanged and those words are terms of the marital covenant. In a marital affair, constant, loving words must go on or the marriage will die. That is how important words could be.
To give your life to Jesus, some words must be confessed and that would be it! In the Spirit realm, words are so important and the devil knows this. That is why he seeks to feed you with negative thoughts so that you can verbalize them. The moment you verbalize that negativity, it becomes your experience. That will not be your portion in Jesus name.
So the question this morning is “what are you saying?”
The scripture above says when you keep your mouth, you keep your life. Watch what you say!
Don’t make statements like:
“I don’t even understand my life.” (You will never understand it when you keep saying that)
“I am very confused” (You just invited the spirit behind confusion to have legal entry into your soul)
“I think there is a curse working against me” (You just empowered the devil to operate)
Never say the wrong words. Never use wrong words on your fiancée or your spouse!
Don’t say words like, “you are very stupid!”
Don’t say to your wife that she is slow.
Don’t call your husband an irresponsible man.
Potential Wife, don’t cut your potential husband into two with your mouth. There is a difference between a wife and a knife!
Husbands-to-be, don’t hurt and wound your wife-to-be with insensitive words, words mean a lot to them.
There are parents who call their children, “coconut head!”
How will the child be brilliant with that prophecy when you know the only thing inside a coconut is water? Or don’t you know that as parents, whatever you call your children is like a prophecy into their future?
Don’t say to your wife, “Fat lazy woman, you were once slim and beautiful when I found you, but now, you are….” Guess who turned her that way? Rather than say that, go and enroll her in a gym!
Don’t say to your husband, “It is the greatest error of my life marrying you,” I regret ever knowing you!” Rather than say that, pray for him, because you are one!
As singles, if you are enduring verbal abuse daily, don’t close your eyes and walk like a zombie into that relationship. Seek help, because he might not change, in fact, it will often get worse after marriage because marriage doesn’t change anybody.
If the lady you want to marry is always shutting you down for whatever reason, it is defective, seek help and seek counseling!
Words are very important! Don’t tell me somebody loves you when he or she tears you apart with words that demotivate and weaken you daily!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am speaking the right words to help my love affair
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you the wisdom to speak rightly always.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 10:19 MSG The more talk, the less truth; the wise measure their words.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Analyze your love affair and check if you have been speaking the right words
The message how your words affect your life was taught by Rev. Dunamis Okunowo on the 24th of March 2021 at Shouts of Grace Center, Joke Plaza, Beside Trans Amusement Park, Bodija-UI Road, Ibadan.
To Listen to the audio of messages from Rev. Dunamis kindly go HERE or HERE
1 My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation. 2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. 3 Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. 4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. 7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:
8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. 11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? 12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.
James 3:1-12, KJV
He started the message by saying that a good leader will not manipulate his followers. We are not perfect as humans because our words are not perfect, because our mouths and the words we speak gives direction to our lives. He said “Wherever your mouth goes is where your life goes”
Wherever your mouth goes is where your life goes
He also mentioned in his teaching that the quality of the life we live cannot go beyond the quality of our thoughts. Our words carry power, so it’s of utmost importance that we stop joking carelessly and stop talking anyhow. He said “You must watch your words and be careful with your words and thoughts”
You must watch your words and be careful with your words and thoughts
In his teaching he said it was very important we watch the words we say, he said “nothing dies, until you say it with your mouth. Taming the tongue can only be by the help of the Holy Spirit. He emphasized that carefulness cannot tame the tongue, positive confessions also cannot tame the tongue.
The church is not for perfect people, it is for growth so people don’t continue in sin. The church is a place for correction.
