We live in a world where standing up for what’s right can often lead to mockery. Staying chaste has suddenly become old-fashioned. Integrity is gradually disappearing from the body of Christ. I can only imagine the challenges Daniel must have faced from his people. They ridiculed him, laughing at his convictions and calling him foolish. They must have wondered who would reject the King’s food and wine.
Daniel and his companions were in a foreign land, victims of war. No pastors or fellowship coordinators were watching over them. No one would correct them if they strayed. No parents to guide or direct them in the place where they found themselves. They were far from home, far from their mentors and spiritual leaders, with nothing to lose.
Yet, the Bible tells us that Daniel made a firm decision in his heart to be different. He decided to uphold his foundation.
Daniel 1:8 (ERV) But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.
It all begins in the heart. As we’ve heard before, no miracle happens on the altar. If you are bitter and selfish as a single person, marriage won’t change that—it will just magnify those traits. If your heart is not in the right place when you’re single, you’ll carry that same misalignment into marriage.
This is why Proverbs warns us about the “strange woman” and the “wicked man”, those whose lips speak deceitfulness. This is why you cannot allow “hot legs” or “deep voice” to be your leading factor in asking for or giving a YES. What is the state of his/her heart?
There will come a time when you’ll be far from the watchful eyes of those who usually guide and encourage you. A season will come when, like Daniel, you’ll be in unfamiliar territory. The question is: when that moment arrives, will you compromise, or will you stand firm in your values? Will the wind blow you away, because of a weak foundation?
Okay, let’s talk about something real. Marriage is tough. Like, really tough sometimes. But here’s the thing: if you want to build a strong, lasting relationship, humility and servanthood need to be at the core of your marriage. I know, they don’t sound like the most exciting things, but trust me, they’ll change the game for you.
What Exactly Is Humility in Marriage?
Let’s clear something up first. Humility isn’t about being a doormat or letting your partner walk all over you. It’s actually the opposite. Humility in marriage is all about recognizing your imperfections and still being willing to prioritize your spouse’s needs. When both of you are humble, you stop trying to “win” and start trying to understand each other better.
It’s easy to think humility means being weak, but if you’ve ever read James 4:6, you’ll know that “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Humility is strength, my friend. It’s being brave enough to admit you’re wrong and strong enough to put your partner’s needs first. And let’s be honest, that’s not always easy, but it’s what makes relationships grow.
Why Servanthood Makes a Difference
Now, let’s talk about servanthood. Servanthood is all about serving your spouse, not just expecting them to serve you. It’s like Jesus taught us in Mark 9:35, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” This doesn’t mean you should neglect your own needs, but rather that both partners should put each other first—mutually.
When you both have a servant mindset, you stop keeping score. “I did this, now you do that.” Nope, that’s not how it works. Instead, you focus on helping each other, even when it’s not convenient. You pick up the slack, you sacrifice, and you show love through action. The result? A relationship that thrives on mutual support and deep emotional connection.
How Humility and Servanthood Strengthen Your Marriage
Here’s the truth: the road to a healthy marriage isn’t paved with perfection. But when you bring humility and servanthood into your relationship, you build a rock-solid foundation that can weather anything life throws at you.
When conflicts arise (because they will), humility allows you to approach disagreements with a mindset of understanding. You’re less likely to fight for “who’s right” and more likely to fight for “what’s best for us.” Humility makes communication smoother, and servanthood makes sure that both partners feel heard, supported, and loved.
Imagine this: you’re both on the same team. When things get tough—whether it’s financial struggles, family drama, or those random arguments over who’s leaving the toothpaste cap off—humility and servanthood help you handle it together. You don’t let pride or selfishness get in the way. Instead, you choose to serve and love each other through it.
Let’s Wrap It Up
At the end of the day, humility and servanthood aren’t just “nice-to-have” traits in a marriage—they’re essential for building a partnership that is strong, resilient, and full of love. You see, the best marriages are the ones where both partners grow, not just individually but together, rooted in Christ’s example of servant leadership.
If you’re serious about making your marriage healthier, these two qualities will be the secret sauce. So, how do you start? It’s simple: practice humility in your everyday conversations and decisions and adopt a servant mindset to keep the love flowing.
Remember, marriage isn’t about perfection—it’s about growth, love, and serving each other with the same grace that God shows us.
Bible Reflection:
James 4:6: “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’”
Mark 9:35: “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”
So, ready to embrace humility and servanthood in your relationship? You’ve got this!
