Signs Your Lover May Backslide After Marriage

Signs Your Lover May Backslide After Marriage

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Yesterday, we began this discussion, pointing out tell-tale signs to look out for, so that your lover who is on fire today, may not backslide after marriage. If you missed it, see it here.

Our anchor scripture remains:

2Pe 2:20-22 (MSG)  If they’ve escaped from the slum of sin by experiencing our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ, and then slid back into that same old life again, they’re worse than if they had never left.  [21] Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command.  [22] They prove the point of the proverbs, “A dog goes back to its own vomit,” and, “A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud.”

What are other things to note in the area of relationships?

7. When you meet a new person in a church setting, beyond falling in love with some height or some hot legs, find out how involved he is in church. Is he or she a worker in that church? How long has he or she been in the church? Does the pastor know him or her personally?

Is he filled with the Holy Spirit? All these do not guarantee a successful or stress-free marriage, however, they go a long way to establish some credibility and spirituality of the person involved.

This is a better approach than meeting someone in church and on the same day, you are in his house! You must learn how to protect yourself!

8. You need to know that being born again can be genuine and yet the guy or lady is still involved in some sharp practices. When you are born again, your spirit is regenerated, but your mind is in the process of being renewed as you listen to God’s word.

This often takes time and is determined by how studious you are in the word and how much time you give to the study of God’s word. In the process of the mind being renewed, a lot of ‘sinful’ mistakes can happen.

As long as they are not habitual, God will forgive and you will be okay. But when you do something habitually and unrepentantly, the conscience becomes seared and a religious spirit takes over.

9. When you see obvious character defects, don’t close your eyes to them especially when he or she says he will change later. Marriage changes nobody.

Anybody that tells you he or she will change later is deceiving you. What do you do when you see character defects? Seek help! Don’t keep quiet.

10. If during courtship or after marriage, you suddenly discover you never knew who you were in the same boat with, here is what to do. In courtship, take a pause on everything until you find a solution. For example, if the issues has to do with physical violence or physical abuse, don’t just keep quiet thinking that marriage will soften him.

Don’t walk down the aisle into that kind of marriage, or you might need to soon run up the aisle and out! If you are getting slaps in courtship, guess what will happen in marriage? In marriage, divorce is not the first option. Look for a Christian marriage counselor or marriage therapist for help.

11. If you are in a distant relationship or some online dating, you need to know that you will not have a distant marriage and you will not live online.

The reality must dawn on you never to make life-involving decisions without knowing the person very well. It is wrong for you to fall in love with a stranger. Something is not quite right with falling in love with an online profile or some voice over the phone! Marriage is not a game! It is a covenant!

12. Finally, we are all projects in the making in the hands of God. Nobody is perfect, but there are things that are unbecoming for a child of God. When you see some of these things, it is time to seek help, or if intense, run for your life!

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I have divine wisdom from God to make decisions.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray and ask God to show you what you don’t know about your life

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. (Jeremiah 33:3 KJV)

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Take an inventory of all the relationships in your life

BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Ps 69




Partnership


Click To See Course


MasterClasses


Messages – Shouts of Grace Center


Daily & Weekly Meetings


KHC, Ibadan – UI & Poly


Courses For Singles


Courses For Couples


Social Media Follows


Upcoming Programmes

Click Below To See Details

Upcoming Events


Avoiding In Marriage A Lover On Fire But Cold Later

Avoiding In Marriage A Lover On Fire But Cold Later

Reading Time: 3 minutes

The issue above is one of the commonest statements of regret from several people that I counsel every other month. Avoiding in marriage a lover on fire today but cold later is possible.

“Pastor, he has changed…”

“Pastor, I never knew he was like this…”

“Pastor, before we got married, he was a leader in the fellowship, but now, he doesn’t go to church…”

“Pastor, during our courtship, he was so sweet, but now, he beats me up!

“Pastor, I never knew him because our courtship was a distant one…”

…And so on and so forth…

Well, what went wrong along the way?

2Pe 2:20-22 (MSG) If they’ve escaped from the slum of sin by experiencing our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ, and then slid back into that same old life again, they’re worse than if they had never left. [21] Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command. [22] They prove the point of the proverbs, “A dog goes back to its own vomit,” and, “A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud.”

Here are a few things to note.

  1. There are pretenders out there. There are people who will feign being in the faith just to get a ‘good’ girl that will not give them ‘problems’ in marriage. This is where Christian pre-marriage counseling comes in.

2. That you met somebody in church does not guarantee that he or she is a true child of God or that you are avoiding in marriage all troubles. Anybody and everybody can attend church services for different purposes. Always seek counsel before you get involved with anybody.

3. Not everybody in the church setting is looking for God. That is why phones and personal effects get missing in church. An angel didn’t steal them. They were stolen by people with whom you worship but with ulterior motives.

4. Let the leadership of the church be involved in your relationship and marriage. There are some churches that have marriage guidance councils, these are not instituted to control you or spy into your private life but to guide you appropriately. Let your pastor be in the know. This is important because the pastor usually knows the committed ones and those who are insincere to an extent.

5. Learn all you can learn. Get marriage tips and free Christian advice online for avoiding chaos in marriage. On Kisses and Huggs Club, for example, we offer free Christian advice for singles and married couples and you can get advice on marriage issues on our daily devotionals, daily discussions and several other materials online. Don’t walk into a marriage ignorantly and so naïve that you fall for anything.

6. As a marriage counselor for some years, I can rightly say that it is true some people really love the Lord, but along the way, there is a turn around. Avoiding in marriage such people is what this post is about. This can be due to negative influence, change of environment, pressure that comes with marriage, choice of career and so on. Whatever it is, when you find yourself in this kind of scenario, you need to quickly find a marriage counselor to talk to.

I will stop here today and conclude on this topic tomorrow.

Be blessed.

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I have divine wisdom from God to make decisions.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray and ask God to show you what you don’t know about your life

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
(Jeremiah 33:3 KJV)

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Take an inventory of all the relationships in your life

READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR
Ps 66-68




Partnership


Click To See Course


MasterClasses


Messages – Shouts of Grace Center


Daily & Weekly Meetings


KHC, Ibadan – UI & Poly


Courses For Singles


Courses For Couples


Social Media Follows


Upcoming Programmes

Click Below To See Details

Upcoming Events