Marriage is an institution created by God for a purpose. It’s one of the most significant decisions you will ever make. This is a world where emotions run high and destiny calls, but many singles still find themselves asking if they should marry for love or purpose.
Genesis 2:18 (NIV) The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
The scripture gave us a reason why it is not good for a man to be alone which is why it said He will make him a helper suitable for him. The gospel truth is that love and purpose work together and every destiny decision must have a strong WHY.
The first thing Adam saw in Eve was her beauty. He was blown away and immediately gave her the name WOMAN. When he was to name the animals that God created, God had to give the instructions, but when he saw his wife, his purpose to oversee, to be fruitful and to multiply began to flow effortlessly, which made him name Eve immediately. Even though he was asleep when she was created out of his ribs, he got her name at first sight and followed through with sweet lines.
Genesis 2:23 (NIV)The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
There has to be a complementation between you and your spouse that allows you to flow naturally in the fulfillment of your purpose with deep love.
So, leaving purpose out for love does not balance with the equation of God.
Here are reasons you should marry for love and purpose.
1. Love without purpose is risky
Love is a powerful force. It makes your heart race, gives you butterflies, and makes you believe in forever. But love alone is not enough to sustain a marriage. Feelings can be fleeting, and what happens when life gets hard? You will no longer feel the excitement you once had. When you make love a choice, your WHYs will reflect and you will be able to sustain better than relying on the feelings of love alone.
Proverbs 19:21 (NIV) “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
Marriage without purpose is like a car without fuel. It may look good on the outside, but it won’t go far.
2. Purpose without love is a struggle
On the other hand, marrying only for purpose, whether it’s for ministry, business, or societal expectations without genuine love can feel like a job instead of a joyful union. If you choose a partner just because they align with your calling but lack deep affection, your marriage may feel forced and duty-bound rather than fulfilling.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”
Purpose alone won’t carry you through the days when you need warmth, affection, and deep emotional connection.
3. Balance love with purpose
The best marriages are those where love and purpose align. Love brings joy, intimacy, and companionship, while purpose gives direction, meaning, and a shared vision. God’s design for marriage is not just about romance or function, it’s about a divine partnership that glorifies Him.
Before saying “I do,” ask yourself:
● Does this person truly love me, not just in words but in action?
● Do we share the same spiritual and life purpose?
● Will our marriage honor God and advance His kingdom?
God’s plan for marriage includes love, partnership, and purpose to work together. If you marry only for love, you may wake up one day wondering why you’re together. If you marry only for purpose, you might feel emotionally disconnected and unfulfilled.
It’s only when love and purpose meet that you experience a marriage that is not only joyful but also God-ordained. So, love and the tendency of your purpose fulfillment have to be found in the person you’re choosing for marriage.
Sometimes, husbands want to please or do things that their wives enjoy. They experience frustration in trying to make them happy, especially since their wives are emotional beings. One moment they are happy, the other moment they are not so happy. Since their emotions are not stable, it becomes difficult for the husbands to know how to meet them at their point of need.
I think there are three areas or ways that any time, a woman will always find enjoyable. A man has to be patient with his wife. An impatient husband will always be seen as a not too caring husband.
If every husband can do these three things, there will always be smiles and peace in the marriage.
1. Be Understanding 2. Be tender 3. Buy her things.
1. Be understanding
The man is the head and so makes a lot of decisions. A woman does certain things and may not think of the consequences, maybe because she is emotional. The logic of the husband usually corrects all these.
But in correcting, he should try and not be hard. He will be tempted to be hard and harsh in correcting her. But if you don’t yield to temptation it will be good.
There is always gratefulness that every wife expresses to an understanding husband. It is understanding that makes a husband not flare up and get angry at every provocation. It is understanding that makes a husband read in between the lines and put himself in her shoes.
2. Be tender Most men are by nature wired to be leaders and could be hard. But for the sake of peace in the home, you have to be tender and choose to lead lovingly.
The password of any woman is always being tender to her. The woman does not need the tenderness of any other man but that of her own husband.
The husband must know that he has a responsibility to always meet this need of being tender. Your wife enjoys this more than giving her a million dollars.
3. Buy her gifts There is a chord inside every woman that buying gifts touches. Ladies are known to like anything shiny. A woman can never have enough gifts, there is always room for more.
The gifts don’t have to be big or expensive. It is the gesture of being remembered and spending money to buy her stuff that matters.
The gifts should be consistent, not once in a while. Some husbands think when they buy her gifts often, she takes them for granted. Not true at all.
How often do you want your wife happy? If your answer is often, then buy her gifts often. Gifts mean taking her out sometimes. Spending time with her and just taking care of her.
Spend your money on her. Don’t be afraid to spend on your wife, God will provide. It is said that when you want to spoil your wife, God will always provide the money.
First, let it be in your heart to do and God will put it in your hands.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not confused.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that every doubt will be destroyed
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Php 4:7, MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Spend time in God’s presence
In itself, it is not a sin, but it will lead you into sin as there are dangers involved. All through the scriptures, you will never find where it says “thou shall not sleepover in the house of thy loved one.” But is it wise or expedient to do such a thing? No. since it is not wise, we can conclude by saying it is foolish. Therefore, it is plain foolishness to go and sleepover in his place when you are not married.
In life, some things are not necessarily sinful, but they can be dangerous. Using rat poison as a coking ingredient is not a sin, but the experimental cook may not live to tell the story!
1 Cor 6:12 (KJV) All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
See how message translation puts it;
1 Cor 6:12 (MSG) Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.
If you are planning to get married, and he does not pester you with coming over to stay in his place, and you know he doesn’t have other girlfriends he is using to “fill in the gap,” then he is a good man. You should respect that.
It is not that he doesn’t feel like having some jeru trip, it is because he is mature and he has the fear of God. Every man feels like tasting it, but if he never pesters you, you need to respect that. You don’t go and ask him if you can come over! You will be inviting the dangers that way.
As a lady, you need to understand how to allow God preserve your relationships so that it leads to marriage. It is not something you can do by yourself.
You will never be able to preserve or “insure” a relationship with jeru trip. It will never work, because that is not how God has instituted it.
Do you want to tie down a man with jeru trip? Well, he loses himself five minutes after. Then the next day, you will need to tie him again. You keep tying him and he keeps losing himself, and when he is tired of you, he will lose himself and go away forever!
You need to understand the basic difference between you both. A man is logical. When you make yourself available like that, he is wondering and thinking how many guys you are doing that for.
A lady, on the other hand, is relationship-oriented, so she thinks if she can offer her body, the deal is sealed. No, you just ruptured the deal, because, the one that really keeps a relationship is God. So when you displease God, things are not going to work.
I once spoke to a lady who called me on phone and lamented that there is a curse over her life because she cannot find a husband to marry.
Upon interviewing her, I saw where things went wrong. She is sexually involved with a married man, and somehow she still thinks that things will work out that way. She will go to church, pray, have vigils, and then go over to his place for jeru trap sessions!
She will never be found that way. The prayers and vigils are religious exercises that will amount to a waste of time and energy. That scenario is a combination of religious spirit and spirit of deception .
You see, there are things you do, and nothing will ever work out. It doesn’t matter how many deliverance sessions you have done or if you are the only person that cleans the whole church, if you keep going back to do what you are not supposed to do, you get God handicapped in doing what He wants to do in your life and you practically slow yourself down!
That is why the scripture says, “God is not mocked!”
You cannot corner God with some religious exercise!
In conclusion, God’s arms are ever open to embrace you and give you a new start when you genuinely repent and decide to regulate your life by His principles. Jesus told the woman caught in adultery, “I do not condemn you, but go and sin no more!
That voice is still reverberating across generations and transcending above societal norms and technological inventions, “Go and sin no more!”
Check your life and clean up. Don’t slow yourself down.
May God grant us all more wisdom!
What other dangers do you think one might be exposed to? Let’s hear in the comment section.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not disobey God in order to please a man. I am kept from the dangers of staying over.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will deliver you from the dangers out there
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. (John 8:11 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss your weaknesses with your mentor and seek advice
