Matthew 5:28 (KJV) says, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:28, part of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, challenges us to examine the condition of our hearts and minds. It goes beyond outward actions and addresses the inner motivations that shape our behavior.
Here are five key lessons we can draw from Matthew 5:28:
1. Sin Begins in the Heart
Jesus emphasizes that sin isn’t just about physical actions—it starts in the heart. Lustful thoughts are as sinful as committing adultery because they reflect the same internal rebellion against God’s design for purity. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Our thoughts and intentions matter deeply to God.
Be vigilant about what you allow into your mind through media, entertainment, or unchecked thoughts. Guarding your heart is essential for spiritual and relational health.
2. God’s Standard Is Holiness, Not Just Outward Compliance
The Pharisees focused on external obedience to the law, but Jesus calls us to a higher standard—holiness of heart and mind. Adultery isn’t just a physical act; it begins with impure desires. 1 Samuel 16:7 declares, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” God cares about the purity of our inner lives.
Pursue holiness not just in actions but in attitudes. Regularly ask God to search your heart and reveal areas that need cleansing (Psalm 139:23-24 ).
3. Accountability for Thoughts and Intentions
This verse makes it clear that we are accountable not only for what we do but also for what we think. Allowing lustful thoughts to take root is equivalent to crossing a boundary God has set. 2 Corinthians 10:5 instructs us to “take every thought captive to obey Christ.” Our thoughts have power, and unchecked ones can lead to destructive behaviors.
When inappropriate thoughts arise, immediately redirect your focus to things that are pure, noble, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8 ).
4. The Importance of Self-Control
Lust thrives when self-control is absent. Jesus calls us to exercise discipline over our eyes and minds. Job 31:1 provides an example of intentional self-control: “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” Choosing where to direct our gaze reflects our commitment to honor God and others.
Set boundaries around what you watch, read, and consume. Cultivate habits that strengthen self-control, such as prayer, fasting, and accountability with trusted friends.
5. A Call to Radical Measures Against Temptation
In the verses following Matthew 5:28, Jesus urges drastic action if something causes us to stumble: “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out… If your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off” (Matthew 5:29-30). While this is hyperbolic language, the point is clear: take radical steps to avoid temptation. Sin has serious consequences, and avoiding it requires decisive action.
Identify triggers or environments that lead to lustful thoughts and remove them from your life. This might mean limiting screen time, installing accountability software, or seeking godly counsel to address deeper struggles.
One of the tools the devil uses against the body of Christ is to capitalize on the believer’s ignorance but the question is; Are believers truly ignorant?
The word of God says in Hosea 4:6 “My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge…” Why should we be destroyed, because we lack knowledge when it can be sought for?
In every season of the believer’s life, the right knowledge is needed. It’s about time we understand the authority we have and use it to our advantage.
Jesus Christ said, “Behold, I give unto you power” That power given is meant for use and not to be kept.
Why should you wake up from a dream frightened, when there’s an authority you have in Christ as a believer?
Why is our attitude to positive dreams so calm, but when it’s a negative dream, you can wake up suddenly and pray for hours, just to terminate it, why can’t we pray those positive ones into reality also?
The first authority we have is our identity in Christ. The life of Christ has been given to us to become the sons of God, who have been transformed into the kingdom of His marvelous life. Jesus Christ said on the cross, “It is finished.”
The word of the enemy over our life is finished, the grip of sin over our life is finished, the power of sickness over our life has come to an end, whatsoever that is not of God in our life came to an end when He said, it is finished.
These are the things the devil doesn’t want you to know. The day you know the truth, there’s a freedom that comes with it, and then the application of this truth is peace, dominion, and breakthrough.
Another authority we have is in His word. Hebrews 4:12 says: “The word of God is quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword…” It’s deeper than we can ever imagine, the Bible says, the words I speak, are Spirit and Life. This word will only be life for us when we know the life-giver Himself.
The efficacy of the word is activated by God. The word is beyond mere words, you must read it till it becomes the life that awakens your spirit man.
These words established the world, and that’s the authority we are talking about, even the dry bones in the valley received life by the word.
Irrespective of the bad reports that look like the end, the word of God can give life back to it.
Believers, it’s time for us to arise and take our stand. Enough of giving the devil an upper hand over our lives, it’s time to take charge and authority.
Begin to speak those same words into your life now believing it’s done.
Dating discipleship is about seeing your relationship as a way to grow closer to God and each other. It’s intentional, faith-centered dating that moves beyond simple activities to a deeper spiritual connection.
2. Recognize Why Shared Faith Matters
Sharing a faith foundation creates alignment in values and goals. With God as your base, you gain a toolkit for tackling challenges together, helping both of you stay grounded and connected.
3. Set Spiritual Goals Together
Set goals beyond everyday plans, like praying, studying the Bible, or serving together. Spiritual goals, even in small steps, deepen your bond and align you with God’s purpose.
4. Work on Growth Together
Challenges will come, but a shared faith gives you the resources to handle them. Communicate openly, respect each other’s journeys, and seek guidance from mentors for a grounded, faith-based approach.
5. Enjoy Faith with Fun
Balance spiritual growth with fun! Try daily devotions, worship together, or celebrate small faith milestones to keep things light and enjoyable as you build spiritual unity.
6. Face Real Challenges Faithfully
When conflicts arise, address them with honest communication, pray together, and seek outside perspectives from a mentor or pastor. Faith offers peace and patience to work through hard times.
7. Build a Faith-Based Community
Surround yourself with supportive friends, small groups, or couples’ retreats. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that community can strengthen faith, providing encouragement and accountability.
8. Cultivate a Faith-Focused Culture in Your Relationship
Practice gratitude, talk about spiritual experiences, and create simple faith-based traditions, like weekly prayer or sharing reflections, to make faith a natural part of your relationship.
9. Envision the Long Term
If marriage is the goal, use dating discipleship to build a foundation. Discuss future visions for family, finances, and ongoing faith growth, setting up a lifetime of shared values.
10. Embrace Dating Discipleship as a Lifelong Journey
Dating discipleship isn’t about perfection. It’s a journey of faith, growth, and love. Stay true to your faith, enjoy the journey, and keep building a relationship that reflects God’s love.
Dating discipleship transforms your relationship into a spiritual journey, helping you grow closer to God while nurturing the love for each other.
“What do you want?” is probably the most important question you must ask yourself as a person.
Everyone should have something they want. Even animals have needs. Plants have needs as well. God, our father, has needs too. He needs us to believe, trust, and obey Him amongst other things.
The blind man in (Luke 18:38) called out to Jesus “… Jesus, Son of David! Please help me!”
Note the exclamation marks at the end of his words. Even when people told him to keep quiet, he didn’t listen to them. He still raised his voice, crying out to Jesus for help (vs 39). And he got what he wanted the most because Jesus heard him and stopped.
Jesus stopped and said, “Bring the blind man to me!” when he came near, Jesus asked him, what do you want me to do for you?” He said, Lord, I want to see again.” Jesus said to him, “Then see! You are healed because you believed.” – Luke 18: 40-42 ICB
The man got what he wanted because he knew what he wanted. When you know what you want, you can have it.
Imagine if Jesus asked the man what he wanted, and the man had nothing he wanted. That would have been a waste?
Know what you want and pray about it. Jesus hears you and will stop to ask you what you want.
God bless you.
Prayer point: Lord, Jesus, thank you for hearing me and stopping to ask me what I want. As I tell them all to you, I receive the answers to my prayers in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Action point: It pays to have a list of what you want and pray along with them.
Declaration: I will be specific with my requests. I will have what I ask for. God will honor me.
A few days back, I began writing to you about “The Virtuous Woman”, I know a lot of you must be curious as to whether there is anything like a virtuous man, especially the lady folks.
Well, the scripture never mentions anything like a virtuous man but it did talk about men! And that is what I want us to see this morning.
The scriptures say about women:
Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. –Proverbs 31:10 (KJV)
Then it says about men:
Most men will proclaim everyone his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find? –Proverbs 20:6 (KJV)
So essentially, the Bible talks about a virtuous woman and a faithful man!
The question is where can one find a faithful man? In fact, The Message translations say:
Lots of people claim to be loyal and loving, but where on earth can you find one? –Proverbs 20:6 (MSG)
The writer of Psalm 12 even sounds like you cannot find such a man again!
Help, LORD; for the godly man ceaseth; for the faithful fail from among the children of men. –Psalms 12:1 (KJV)
Other translations even added pepper on top!
HELP, LORD! For principled and godly people are here no more; faithfulness and the faithful vanish from among the sons of men. –Psalms 12:1 (AMP)
Quick, GOD, I need your helping hand! The last decent person just went down, All the friends I depended on gone. –Psalms 12:1 (MSG)
However, I will like you to know there are still faithful men! It takes a virtuous woman to be found by a faithful man!
There is someone that changes the equation of unfaithfulness. His name is Jesus. He is the only one that can make a difference in the life of a man and who can make the vilest of sinners become a faithful man!
Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward Him and said concerning him, See! Here is an Israelite indeed [a true descendant of Jacob], in whom there is no guile nor deceit nor falsehood nor duplicity! –John 1:47 (AMP)
In the above scripture, Jesus actually found a faithful man! You see when Jesus shows up on the scene, you will find faithful men!
So who is a faithful man? How do I identify one?
To be continued
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a faithful man/virtuous woman.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to become the person you have created me to be and let the faithful man/virtuous woman in me emerge
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Thou shalt keep them, O LORD, thou shalt preserve them from this generation forever. –Psalms 12:7 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Commit every issue in your relationship into the hands of God
