SINGLES-How To Prevent Instability in Relationships
What is the number one enemy you should fight and resist in the remaining half of the year? It is instability!
In the scripture below, Reuben who happened to be Jacobs’ first son was described in such a way as to conclude that a great destiny lies with him.
Reuben, thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power: –Genesis 49:3 (KJV)
The Amplified version puts it this way:
Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might, the beginning (the firstfruits) of my manly strength and vigor; [your birthright gave you] the preeminence in dignity and the preeminence in power. –Genesis 49: 3 (AMP)
Those adjectives show he is a man that has been endowed and endued with greatness by virtue of his position in the family. He is a man fortified for the future, with everything he needs to succeed at his beck and call.
However, the next statement in Jacob’s mouth is a complete contradiction of the aforementioned qualities. It was almost bordering on a curse, a weakness of his that led him into an abomination and then the damning consequence of his transgression;
Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; because thou wentest up to thy father’s bed; then defiledst thou it: he went up to my couch. –Genesis 49: 4 (KJV)
Another translation puts it this way:
But you are as unsteady as water. So you won’t be first anymore. You had sex with your father’s concubine in his bed. You lay on his couch and made it ‘unclean.’–Genesis 49: 4 (NIV)
You see, Reuben committed a sexual sin. But that is not even what I want you to see. I want you to see the root of it all and How To Prevent Instability in Relationships. Why would he go and do something like that?
Why would a young girl be double dating? Why would a respected woman stoop low to sleep with her subordinate? Why would a choir leader in church sleep with choir members in church?
Reuben had a weakness he refused to confront. He had an attitude to life that was wrong and yet he didn’t deal with it until the attitude pushed him into dangerous terrains.
It is a weakness of being unstable or being unsteady!
It is the number one enemy to fight in the remaining half of the year if you notice such in your life. Why is this so?
To be continued
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am steady. I am consistent.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the grace to be consistent.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Reuben, you’re my firstborn, my strength, first proof of my manhood, at the top in honor and at the top in power, But like a bucket of water spilled, you’ll be at the top no more, Because you climbed into your father’s marriage bed, mounting that couch, and you defiled it. –Genesis 49: 3-4 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘consistency’
God indeed desires that you help your friends. One of the values you have to learn early in life is being compassionate and lending a helping hand to whoever needs help. It’s one of the ways of showing love to those around us.
This is God’s desire for us as his children, to be always willing to help out where ever there is a need.
Let’s see what the bible says!
Never walk away from someone who deserves help; your hand is God’s hand for that person. Don’t tell your neighbor, “Maybe some other time, “or, “Try me tomorrow,” when the money’s right there in your pocket. Don’t figure ways of taking advantage of your neighbor when he’s sitting there trusting and unsuspecting. – Proverbs 3:27-29 (MSG)
God’s word teaches us not to walk away from someone who needs help. Why is that? God needs our help to help people around us, not that you go around talking to strangers; your parents have to be aware of whoever you are helping.
We are God’s vessels on earth and so he uses you and me to answer the prayers of others when we render a helping hand to those around us.
The bible also says, when your neighbor comes to you for help, don’t tell the person to come back, don’t turn him or her down when you can actually help at that moment.
Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, Come back later; I’ll give it tomorrow “when you now have it with you.
As a child of God, don’t go looking for ways to hurt or harm others. That’s not the attitude of a child of God.
Jesus wants you to love everyone just like he loves you. How do you do this?
By obeying God’s word, and following what the bible says.
PRAYER: Precious Holy Spirit, please teach me how to always help others when I can. Amen
ACTION PLAN: Help someone today
DECLARATION: I am a child of God, I am available to be used by God.
One of the most amazing things about God is that he always has us covered, He is our ever-present help. In whatever situation or time, you can be sure God is watching and looking out for you and me.
Today, I will be talking to you about one of the many attributes of God.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. – Psalms 46:1-3 (NIV)
Wow! What a word. What an assurance.
Let’s pick up the words one after the other and analyze them.
God is our refuge!
The dictionary defines the word refuge as a place or state of safety from danger or trouble.
We all know how troubled the world is at this time. News of wars fill our television screen and social media waves. There is no guaranteed place of safety as the bible rightly says the heart of man is desperately wicked.
But here, God is assuring us that despite all the bad news we keep hearing daily, despite the failed system of government, despite the inadequacies of man, he is our refuge.
Are you in trouble? Do you think or feel what you have done is so enormous, that you cannot come out of it? Then run to God and he will deliver you.
God’s desire for us his children is to live life to the fullest, and all of these are represented in the bible as proof of his promises and commitment toward us.
Are you a child of God? If yes, then believe in his word and be rest assured that “God’s got you!”
To be continued.
Prayer: Dear Father, help me to always trust in your word. Amen.
Action point: Dedicate time to meditate on God’s word
Declaration: God is my refuge and strength, my ever-present help in trouble.
An angry person is one to avoid. Two angry people are dangerous people! Simeon and Levi in the scriptures are brothers, but the Bible says their father placed a curse on them because of their unrestrained violent emotions.
Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel. –Genesis 49:5-7 (KJV)
They were of like tempers, dispositions, and manners, bold, wrathful, cruel, revengeful, and deceitful, and joined together in their evil counsels and evil actions which resulted in the cruel and barbarous slaughter of the inhabitants of Shechem.
If only one brother was angry, the other could have calmed his brother. But both were angry at the same time, so their anger fuelled one another!
Message translation of verse 5 says:
Simeon and Levi are two of a kind, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. –Genesis 49:5 (MSG)
As an individual, you must learn to restrain your anger and learn not to react at every provocation so that eventually when you are married, your home will be a habitable place for your children. What happens when my spouse is angry and raises his/her voice at me?
The answer is here;
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. –Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)
Learn to talk softly. You will be amazed! Don’t raise your voice back in anger! Just talking softly will make the anger will be defused. Learn this as singles and you will be saving yourself a lot of headaches.
That is the way Message translation puts it.
A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. –Proverbs 15:1(MSG)
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My heart will guide my mouth, and my lips will promote instruction. Jesus has been made unto me wisdom, and I will keep myself under control.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Give me the grace to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Make no friendships with a man given to anger, and with a wrathful man do not associate, -Proverb 22:24 (AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Try and identify your anger triggers and to seek help
Believe me, all these contribute to the total well-being of a good marriage. But they can’t do all these when there are people living with them observing every move they make with critical eyes and breathing down their necks. They need that free space before the children start coming.
In those foundational years, the couple needs to become friends. What do friends do? They talk. They communicate. Study yourselves, Discuss temperamental differences. Watch Television together. Play games on your laptops together in your free time.
Dear wife, study your husband’s likes. Make up your mind to fall in love with what he loves. If he is a football lover, start watching football. This is the only way he won’t leave you at home to go and watch football with his friends outside.
Study his passion. Be passionate with his passion! Don’t feel left out when he buries his head in his laptop, iPad, etc. Join him and pad the iPad together! That’s the secret!
Dear husband, your immediate family which is made up of you and your wife is more important than any other in this world. You have the responsibility to protect it.
Don’t turn your newly wedded wife into a cook, because she has to cook for cousins, brothers, etc! The wife is not a professional cook or dry-cleaner who cooks from morning till night catering for the husband’s three brothers and mother from the village!
That is not healthy for any marriage! Sometimes, this is in addition to her career! And then, you wonder why she is always tired when you get to bed.
Give her quality time. Study her love language. Give her listening time. When she is talking, maintain eye to eye contact, and be involved even when she is discussing illogical things. Just listen and you won’t lose her to moods and depression.
Tomorrow, we will continue the series on Relationship and Marriage Killers.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am full of wisdom to fulfill my role in my marriage. My marriage is kept by God’s power. My marriage will not turn into hardship. I am helped of God. I am directed by the Spirit of God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my relationships and marriage and fill me with the Spirit id wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! –Proverbs 5:18 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the suggestions above
