That is the name he usually calls her. As he held her hands and looked into her eyes, Angie tried to look back into his eyes and beyond the words, to really find out if Buddy meant his words, but she couldn’t decipher anything.
“Well, I am not sure” replied Angie.
“Why would you say that,” Buddy said, still holding her hands.
“You are going for NYSC next week, I am not sure what you will come back with.”
“Oh, common, Angie, we have been together for four years now and by the grace of God, we will get married soonest. You have no reasons to doubt me.”
“I don’t doubt you, but I get scared sometimes.”
“Angie now, why would you be scared?”
“You know what happened….”
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“Don’t go there!” Buddy cuts in, raising his voice a bit. “I have already asked for forgiveness and that it wouldn’t happen again. I thought you have forgiven me?”
And they went on and on.
Angie has her fears because of the mistake that Buddy made of recent with another girl that he slept with whom he initially claimed he was mentoring. How did a protégée end up in bed? What type of mentoring is that? There is a difference between a mentor and a tormentor!
Angie wasn’t sure whether it was a genuine mistake or a state of his heart. If it is a state of his heart, then he would still do it again.
But the dilemma is that you cannot enter a man’s heart.
Only someone knows the heart of a man, and that is God. Angie knows she would need God to really make up her mind, as she wouldn’t want to be hurt and disappointed again.
How do you know a man’s heart? How do you know a guy who loves you and will eventually marry you? That will be our subject of discourse tomorrow morning.
Don’t miss it!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am led by the Spirit of God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me in the way to go and guide my feet into your plans
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “No one who abides in Him [ who lives and remains in communion with and in obedience to Him—deliberately, knowingly, and habitually ] commits (practices) sin. No one who [ habitually ] sins has either seen or known Him [ recognized, perceived, or understood Him, or has had an experiential acquaintance with Him ].” (1Jn 3:6, AMP)
What is the power of forgiveness? Is forgiveness not for the faint-hearted? Is there really a power in forgiveness? Today we would be answer these questions.
One thing about forgiveness is that your failure to forgive has made you unholy before God, which won’t make Him listen to or even answer your prayers.
That’s because when God looks at you, He sees the mark of sin on you – resentment, unforgiveness, hatred, and He can’t look at you like that.
However, when you ask for forgiveness before you pray, it takes the mark of sin away from you. Or even while praying and the Holy Spirit convicts your heart of unforgiveness, quickly forgive whoever you need to forgive so that your prayers might be answered.
When God sees your entire heart as unholy, He also sees your body as unholy too.
By allowing unforgiveness to stay in your heart, you are causing yourself more harm than good.
An unforgiving heart affects your entire body. It can cause you to have medical conditions. The power of forgiveness cannot therefore be overemphasized.
Be holy today and forgive who you need to forgive. God bless and provide for you as you do so. Amen.
Prayer: My Father in heaven, forgive me my trespasses and help me to forgive everyone I need to forgive, Amen.
Action point: Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to show you who you need to forgive and do so fast
Declaration: I choose to forgive all who have hurt me.
There are benefits of forgiveness. Forgiveness is important in serving God. A key instrument in entering and staying in God’s presence is by letting go of offences.
No wonder Jesus mentioned in the Lord’s prayer that “…forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
We can’t come before God with any sin in our lives. The lack of forgiving others when they hurt us is a sin.
You might wonder how does this keep my body holy before God? The bible says that the heart of man is full of wickedness.
When you harbor resentment towards another person and refuse to forgive them, you can’t come before God.
Jesus said to ask for forgiveness not because of the other person, but so that God can answer your prayers. In other words, it’s about you, not the other person.
“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins too.
Mark 11:25 NLT
It was also emphasized here:
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Matt. 6:14-15 NLT.
When you fail to forgive, you hurt yourself and cut short God’s blessing upon your life.
These are some of the benefits of forgiveness. May God help is all to to forgive all who have hurt us in time past. Amen.
Prayer: My Father in heaven, forgive me my trespasses and help me to forgive everyone I need to forgive. I want to be holy to you. Amen.
Action point: Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to show you who you need to forgive and do so fast
Forgiveness is a necessity in this life. Do you want to know how to advance in life? Then learn how to forgive. Let’s look at the story of Bayo.
Bayo didn’t like how his brothers treated him. They always teased him about his love for reading and studying. They called him names like “effico”, “bookworm” and more. He wished he could just tell them what was on his mind. They weren’t that perfect too. He knew their flaws too and what they did in secret.
At church, he learnt about forgiveness. The Sunday school teacher used the story of Joseph to explain how to forgive.
That was going to be hard for Bayo. So, he approached the teacher and told him about what he was facing at home. The teacher explained the reason why he had to forgive his brothers just like Joseph did.
By the time they were through, Bayo learnt why he had to forgive and how to do so. It was a relief to him. He wasn’t going to continue in unforgiveness towards his brothers.
When you speak to other believers about an issue, you get more knowledge. They help you to understand what you are feeling, why it is wrong or right, and what to do about it. When the believer is older than you, you get to hear about their or other people’s experiences on issues like yours.
So, find a believer like yourself and share your fears or issues with them. This is how to advance.
Yesterday, we looked at how to handle an affair from the erring spouse part. This is so important because the bulk of the work lies on the spouse that had an affair.
The responsibility is on him/her. The spouse is just to be support and to forgive.
The erring spouse has the responsibility of being brutally truthful, sincere and repentant.
There are some scenarios that the spouse is under demonic influence and finds it difficult to be sincere or truthful. Prayers of God healing by giving him/her a new and clean heart will be necessary. This is because to successfully handle an affair squarely requires sincerity and truthfulness.
Let’s continue today with the other steps. You can read yesterday’s devotionals HERE
4.Attach pain to the experience of having an affair.
Until an affair is associated with pain in the mind and the brain, thorough work is not done. The erring couple must have several quiet moments of self-talk and deep ruminating of the issue. That’s why depending on the situation, the erring spouse must be left alone to have some sober reflections.
This sober reflection is necessary for a certain positive conclusion to be made. Although a lot of prayers are needed in this period. The support of the other spouse is also needed by not criticizing, nagging, and not showing rage or irritability.
A lot of love, emotional support, care, and reassuring words should be given to the erring spouse at such times as this. A spouse should come out of this ordeal stronger, better, and bigger ready to help those in the same predicament.
That’s the way God organized things in the kingdom. What you have overcome, you have the Grace to help set others free.
6.Change the environment.
It might be necessary to that environment where the affair happened. However, this may not always be possible. If you can’t change your environment, you can at least change what YOU do within that compromising environment.
Whether you have lunch breaks together alone with a particular lady, you have to change this. It is to be noted that the affair could be an emotional affair. Don’t be deceived, an emotional affair is as serious as a sexual affair. In God, they are the same.
But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28 NLT
7.Make sure you don’t play the blame game.
What has happened has happened. Don’t cry over split milk. Don’t wallow in self-pity. That is the devil domain. You don’t want to cooperate with the devil to make your freedom difficult.
You must embrace Gods free gift of forgiveness and obey all His principles.
Don’t go to the extreme concerning yourself. David committed adultery and murder yet God called him a man after my heart. God restored him and he was one of the most famous kings on earth.
Don’t doubt God’s love. When He says He has forgiven you He means exactly that. Embrace His love and His forgiveness.
I believe you have found these steps helpful. May God enlighten our darkness in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am committed to my marriage vows.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love my spouse appropriately.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY If you are having an affair, make amends today
