When you are falling in love, fall in love with some life! Don’t fall in love with a profile on social media. You may be disappointed. Don’t fall in love with a picture! You never know who you are dealing with!
Before you give your heart out, be sure you see the person you are dealing with, or else your heart can be wrenched apart!
“Pastor, it is not just a profile, I heard his voice!” It is still the same hopelessness, falling in love with a voice. Who owns the voice?
The rule of thumb is simple, never give any commitment to someone you have not seen.
If he is not committed to travel down to where you are, or he doesn’t have enough money to come or he doesn’t have the time, then he is not ready for marriage.
I know there can be situations when the persons are far away, probably in another country, then get family members who are around involved.
You cannot just fix a wedding date with somebody in Brazil and then travel there. I cannot recount how many have called me to talk about the greatest disappointments of their lives upon emptying their accounts and resigning from work to go and meet a guy somewhere who eventually turns out to be mentally imbalanced. A word is enough for the wise.
3. Don’t fall in love carelessly.
Don’t fall in love carelessly.
You met two hours ago. Now you are in bed! That is not love! That is lust and you are going to be dropped soonest like hot potatoes! The principles of God are being violated like that and you are not going to have His support.
The purpose of falling in love is not to take somebody to bed; it is to take somebody down the aisle. Jeru trap with someone will never be able to prove your love. They are just not the same, otherwise, the prostitute will fall in love with all her clients, but it never happens that way. Fall in love with care and caution!
Falling in love is a special experience, or so it is intended to be. But there are ways to fall in love. The foundation to falling in love the right way is to fall in love with God first. God, Himself is love and when you fall in love with Him, He will teach you and help you to understand what real love is.
God is the lover of your soul and He is your first true lover! Any attempt to ignore Him is at your own peril to your eventual love life. Without Him, you will never be able to know how to love and how to be loved. Here are a few ways not to fall in love.
1. Don’t fall in love secretly.
I have said it many times; a godly relationship is not a secret cult. It is not a fraternity between two people. If you like yourself and you will like to protect yourself, heed my advice this day by the Spirit of God; don’t fall in love with a closed-up person.
Let your friends know about it. Let your Pastor know about it. The moment he or she insists that nobody should know, that should be a red light for you. Why hide something that is meant to be good news?
When I asked my wife out while we were students at Ogun State University (now Olabisi Onabanjo University) and she said ‘Yes,’ I announced to all that cared to listen! It was a joyful experience for me as a twenty-four-year-old chap!
I later got married at twenty-seven years of age some three years later in 1999.
Are you in a relationship where nobody knows except the two of you? Why would that be? The risks are high! The first sign of commitment in a relationship that is intended to lead to marriage is that the authority figures in your life will be involved. While this may not totally ensure the success of the relationship, it goes a long way to validate the relationship.
For those who are married, ensure that you are accountable to a particular authority figure for counsel and wisdom as you navigate the terrain of the marital journey.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I will fall in love rightly
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to get it right
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t fall in love secretly
1. After emotional involvement, reasoning faculty becomes biased After you fall in love with a person, the truth is that your reasoning faculty becomes biased in favour of that person, because of the deep feelings and emotional connection that often accompany the process of falling in love. If this is the case, it is wise then to be cautious about the person you fall in love with. For example, you want to be careful about developing a close friendship with an unbeliever, to avoid the possibility of falling in love with such a person. When you fall in love with such a person, you are going to close your eyes to the fact that such a person is not a child of God. You are going to turn a deaf ear to people around you who are warning you because you have fallen in love. So you see, you have to define your relationships.
One of the greatest humiliations one can be subjected to is in the hands of a wrong person you have fallen in love with but who is not in love with you! You will practically become a puppet, as it were, in the hands of a puppet master, wielding enormous power over your emotions, abusing you, and yet unable to disconnect…may you never be in that spot! It even gets worse when you become sexually involved with such a person and there are emotional ties. Have you ever being in a relationship with a person and everybody is warning you?
Your pastor calls you and says you are making a mistake. Your parents call you and warn you sternly about the person. Your closest friends call you and tell you something must be wrong with you. Deep down in your heart, even your conscience tells you that you are making a huge mistake. But you are in love…at such times, you really need to hit the pause button! Go and pray and ask God to help you. One of the ways you can pray is to first disconnect or distance yourself from that person so that your mind can be clear to pray.
I will conclude tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love helplessly