Finding Joy in the Journey: Navigating Dating as a Christian Single
Let’s face it—dating can feel like a maze sometimes, right? And if you’re navigating it as a Christian, there’s the added layer of staying true to your faith and joy, while swiping, mingling, or meeting “through a friend of a friend.” But here’s the good news: dating as a Christian single isn’t just about finding the one. It’s about discovering who you are, growing in your relationship with God, and (yes) even enjoying the ride.
So, grab your favorite coffee (or tea—no judgment here), and let’s talk about how to find joy in the dating journey while keeping Christ at the center.
1. Dating with Purpose: More Than Just a Relationship Status
Ever felt like dating is just a race to find a partner? Trust me, I get it. But here’s a perspective shift: dating as a Christian is about more than just pairing up. It’s a chance to grow—emotionally, spiritually, and maybe even socially (yes, awkward dates count as life experiences).
Start viewing each date as an opportunity to reflect on who God is shaping you to be. Instead of stressing over compatibility, ask yourself: What can I learn from this person? How can I reflect Christ in this interaction?
Think of Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Whether or not the relationship works out, every encounter can help refine you.
2. Faith: Your Compass in the Dating World
Let’s be real—faith isn’t just a checkbox on your dating profile. It’s your foundation. When you’re rooted in Christ, it becomes easier to identify red flags (or green ones) and to prioritize what truly matters.
What to Look For:
Someone who shares your values and beliefs. It’s not about being clones of each other but sharing a faith that can ground your relationship.
A partner who encourages you to grow closer to God, not drift away.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is your cheat sheet here: love that’s patient, kind, and rooted in truth is the goal. If someone is leading you away from these principles, it’s worth reconsidering.
And don’t forget to pray. Pray for clarity, discernment, and patience (even when your mom starts dropping not-so-subtle hints about grandkids).
3. Enjoying the Process Without Losing Your Sanity
Okay, confession time: how many of us have spiraled into overthinking after a first date? (Guilty!) But here’s the thing—dating doesn’t have to be this high-pressure, anxiety-inducing ordeal.
Instead of obsessing over the future, lean into the present. Let dating be a journey of discovery:
Discovering what you value in a partner.
Discovering how to communicate (even when it’s uncomfortable).
Discovering what God might be teaching you through those experiences.
Matthew 6:34 reminds us: “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” Focus on the here and now, trusting that God’s timing is always better than our own.
4. When It Feels Like Everyone Else is Married (Except You)
Ah, the dreaded wedding season. Suddenly, everyone you know is posting engagement photos while you’re debating whether to bring a plus-one or just show up solo again.
First, know this: you’re not alone. Seriously. So many Christian singles feel this pressure, but God’s plan for you isn’t on the same timeline as your best friend’s or that couple from your small group.
Take this season to invest in yourself:
Deepen your relationship with Christ.
Pursue hobbies or passions you’ve always wanted to explore.
Build strong friendships that remind you you’re loved and valued, no matter your relationship status.
Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Your story is unique, and God hasn’t forgotten you.
5. The Bottom Line: Joy is in the Journey
Here’s the thing: dating as a Christian single doesn’t have to feel like a chore or a test. When you approach it with faith, purpose, and a little bit of humor, it can actually be… fun.
Remember, the goal isn’t just to find a spouse; it’s to grow closer to God and discover the person He’s calling you to be. Whether you’re single, dating, or somewhere in between, you’re already on a meaningful journey.
And who knows? Maybe that next coffee date—or Bible study meet-cute—might just surprise you.
So, how are you feeling about dating these days? Let’s chat in the comments—what’s one lesson God’s been teaching you through this season?
Let’s talk about something we all deal with at some point: dating. Whether you’re trying to navigate the world of dating apps or holding onto more traditional approaches, there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for love. And if you’re a Christian young adult trying to balance your faith with modern dating trends? Yeah, that adds a whole new layer of complexity!
What Are Dating Styles, Anyway?
Dating styles refer to the unique approaches people take when forming romantic connections. Some lean towards traditional methods rooted in culture, family, and clear intentions, while others are more about modern, laid-back encounters, often influenced by social media and technology. Understanding these dating styles is essential—because if you’re on different pages than your partner about what you want, it can create a lot of unnecessary drama.
Factors like culture, background, and even your past experiences shape how you date. Maybe you grew up in a family that emphasized long-term commitment, or maybe you’ve been burned by casual relationships in the past. All these things influence your approach to love.
As a Christian, you might also be trying to stay true to your values, which can make navigating modern dating trends a bit tricky. But guess what? It’s totally possible to respect both your faith and your unique dating preferences. Let’s break it down.
Traditional Dating: More Than Just Dinner and a Movie
Let’s rewind a bit. Traditional dating is about intentionality—it’s about pursuing relationships that are rooted in family values, commitment, and the goal of long-term love. This style isn’t just about hanging out; it’s about courtship, a term that implies respect, consideration, and care.
For many, especially in cultures where family approval matters, traditional dating involves seeking your family’s blessing before you get too serious. Think of it like this: getting Mom and Dad’s seal of approval isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s a must in some cultures. In the Christian faith, this aligns with the idea of honoring your parents and ensuring that your relationship is built on solid, respectful foundations.
Key Features of Traditional Dating:
Commitment & Intentions: No playing around. It’s about long-term connection.
Family Involvement: Parents or the community often play a role in the relationship.
Clear Expectations: No guessing games. You both know where things are headed.
Many people who prefer this style believe that it leads to more stable, secure relationships. There’s a lot of comfort in the structure—if you’re someone who values marriage and family, traditional dating may feel more aligned with your goals.
Modern Dating: Casual, Flexible, and Sometimes a Little Too Fast
Flash forward to the present: modern dating is all about choices, freedom, and technology. Thanks to apps, meeting people has never been easier (or faster). The culture has shifted towards more casual connections, where dating can feel like a low-pressure activity—no heavy commitment required.
For Gen Z and millennial daters, this often means going on a few dates, feeling things out, and seeing where they go without an immediate expectation of commitment. This kind of dating feels liberating for many, as it allows for a more fluid experience. If you’re someone who enjoys exploring connections without feeling locked down right away, modern dating gives you the space to do just that.
However, while modern dating can be a lot of fun, it can also be a bit of a rollercoaster. The rise of ghosting, “situationships,” and unclear intentions can leave you feeling confused or frustrated. That’s where a Christian worldview can bring some clarity.
Navigating Modern & Traditional Styles Together
So, here’s the big question: how do you blend the best of both worlds? Can you be modern while holding onto traditional values? The answer is yes, but it requires intentionality and clear communication.
Here’s how to create a balance between traditional and modern dating:
Know Your Own Values: What do you want in a relationship? If you’re dating with the intention of marriage (and that’s important to you), you’ll want to make sure your partner is on the same page. Don’t be afraid to have that conversation early on. Proverbs 16:3 says, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” Keep your values rooted in faith, and trust that God will guide you.
Communicate Your Intentions: Whether you’re going for a laid-back vibe or something more serious, always communicate your expectations upfront. If you’re looking for something long-term, make that clear, especially in the early stages. Likewise, if you’re into casual dating, it’s better to be upfront about that too. Misunderstandings are the worst!
Blend Traditions with Technology: You don’t have to ditch dating apps just because you prefer a more traditional approach. Use them to meet people, but take your dates offline quickly. Enjoy a classic dinner date or a walk in the park. In the same way, blend modern communication (texting, social media) with traditional gestures (writing a thoughtful letter or planning a special evening). The best of both worlds!
Set Boundaries, But Stay Open: This is especially important if you’re navigating modern dating apps while trying to remain grounded in your faith. Dating apps can open up all sorts of possibilities, but if you’re not careful, it can also lead to temptation or confusion. Set boundaries that align with your beliefs, and don’t be afraid to say “no” when something doesn’t feel right.
Trust God’s Timing: Whether you’re meeting someone through an app or through a more traditional means, remember that God is in control. Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Trust that your relationship journey is part of God’s plan for you, and He’ll guide you to the right person at the right time.
Final Thoughts: Finding Your Own Dating Style
Ultimately, there’s no “right” way to date—it’s all about what feels authentic to you. Whether you’re more into traditional courtship or the flexibility of modern dating, the key is to stay true to your values, communicate openly with your partner, and trust that God is leading you every step of the way.
And remember, whether you’re swiping through an app or asking for your parents’ blessing, it’s all part of God’s plan for your love story. So go ahead, embrace your style—and make it one that honors both your heart and your faith.
What’s your dating style? Do you lean more traditional, or are you a modern dater? Let me know in the comments—let’s chat about it!
Why Courtship Beats Casual Dating: A Gen Z Guide to Real Relationships
Let’s face it – relationships can be confusing, especially in today’s world where “situationships” are a thing and “dating” can mean anything from a serious commitment to a casual hangout. But let’s talk about something deeper: courtship versus casual dating.
You’ve probably heard of both, but do you know the difference? Spoiler: courtship is like dating’s more mature, intentional cousin. Let’s break it down – no jargon, no fluff, just real talk.
Courtship vs. Casual Dating: What’s the Deal?
Casual dating is pretty much what it sounds like. You’re out there having fun, maybe going on dates with a few people at once, but there’s no long-term plan in mind. It’s easygoing and chill, and most times, it’s more about the “now” than the future.
But courtship? That’s next-level stuff. Courtship is intentional. It’s about finding someone you see a future with. Think of it as dating with purpose – you’re not just in it for the Netflix and chill. Instead, you’re looking at shared values, life goals, and whether you can build something long-lasting together.
Relatable Example:
Ever had that one friend who dates casually, and then there’s another who, after a few months, is talking about future family trips and growing old together? That’s the difference right there. Casual dating is more of a “let’s see where this goes” vibe, while courtship is all about, “We know where this is going, and we’re putting in the work to get there.”
Why Courtship Rocks: Building Deep Emotional Connections
Casual dating might get you the butterflies, but if you’re after a deep emotional connection, courtship is where it’s at.
Here’s why:
Intentionality: In courtship, you’re actively learning about each other’s beliefs, goals, and dreams. Instead of just texting each other at 2 a.m. and hoping it turns into something more, you’re having real conversations.
Emotional Intimacy: Think of late-night convos about your future, not just weekend plans. You’re getting to know their soul, not just their Spotify playlist.
Personal Anecdote:
Imagine you’re dating someone casually, and it’s fun – you hit up concerts, grab coffee, and maybe go out for brunch. But one day, they ghost you, and you’re left wondering what went wrong. With courtship, the ghosting game is less likely because both of you know the score – you’re not just “seeing where things go”; you’re steering the ship.
The Courtship Advantage: Stability and Security
Let’s be real, casual dating can be full of mixed signals. One day you’re vibing, and the next, you’re trying to decode that vague text they sent. Courtship? It’s much clearer because both of you are on the same page. No games. No guessing.
Courtship is about building a strong foundation. You talk about things that matter:
What’s your stance on family?
How do you feel about finances?
What do you want out of life?
Casual dating might avoid these conversations because, well, it’s casual. But courtship is all about digging deep.
The Big Payoff: Long-Term Relationship Success
Here’s the kicker: courtship can lead to more successful, long-term relationships. Research backs it up – couples who court are more likely to stay together. Why? They’ve built a solid foundation based on communication, trust, and mutual goals.
Real Talk:
Take John and Emily (yes, these names are made up, but the story is real). They dated casually for years, but it wasn’t until they moved into a more courtship-like approach that their relationship took off. They started talking about their future – not just the fun stuff, but the tough stuff like finances and family goals. Fast forward, and now they’re happily married, all because they took the time to build something real.
Courtship: Your Relationship MVP
So, why should you care about courtship? Because it’s the path to:
Deeper emotional connection
Strong foundations based on shared values
Long-term relationship success
Sure, casual dating can be fun and light, but if you’re looking for something real and lasting – courtship is the way to go.
Final Thoughts: What’s Your Move?
At the end of the day, the type of relationship you pursue depends on where you’re at in life and what you’re looking for. If you’re craving deeper connection and long-term potential, maybe it’s time to give courtship a shot. Think about it – wouldn’t it be nice to know you’re investing your time and energy into something meaningful?
SINGLES – Dear Pastor, Can I Kiss My Fiancé or Fiancée?
If you are in courtship, be careful. Don’t let the devil trap you. The raging fire in your body will not be doused with kissing; it will only rekindle it until you want to explore more!
In the scripture, When Joab wanted to kill Amasa, he deceived him with a kiss!
And Joab said to Amasa, Art thou in health, my brother? And Joab took Amasa by the beard with the right hand to kiss him. But Amasa took no heed to the sword that was in Joab’s hand: so he smote him therewith in the fifth rib, and shed out his bowels to the ground, and struck him not again; and he died. So Joab and Abishai his brother pursued after Sheba the son of Bichri. – 2Sa 20:9-10 KJV
Yes, it will look harmless. It will sound logical. But it can destroy destinies.
Jesus Christ was betrayed with a kiss!
But Jesus said unto him, Judas, betrayest thou the Son of man with a kiss? – Luk 22:48 KJV
Isn’t something inappropriate with a lady who is leading the church in worship, but who the previous night had been in an intense kissing session with the brother who led opening prayer that same morning?
Live right, for God is not mocked!
There is nothing wrong with a light hug. There is nothing wrong with a light peck by the cheek if that was how you were raised up, but it is better to just stay away! But the problem is will you stop at that stage? Your body will crave more and if you lack self-control, you will yield to it. There are some brothers that can’t talk to a lady unless they touch her or place their hands on her shoulder. Must they tap current before they can talk?
That kissing, touching, and petting you do behind doors will get you into trouble sooner than you think if you don’t put your feet down now. Don’t dabble into those terrains because the song afterward is always, ‘we didn’t want to go all the way,’ but the mistake would have been made.
Resolve to do it right and you will enjoy the fullness of God’s blessings.
I pray God gives you more understanding and help you to stop every form of compromise!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive wisdom to discern between positive and negative influences in my life and grace to avoid the negative.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In Jesus’ name, I resist the power of negative influence over my life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 7:25 MSG The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place, or thing that is influencing you negatively.
Yesterday, we started looking at some pressures singles face, especially in the areas of relationships and marriage.
Let’s continue…
f. Self-imposed Deadlines
Deadlines are good and advisable, especially in goals achievement; however, they could be a source of pressure, especially in relationships.
You need to be patient and understand that God is involved in it too. He is even more interested than you are in your relationship, and He wants you to marry the right person, at the right time. Things become beautiful in His own time, not your own time.
Do not unnecessarily be in a hurry. The decision of a life-long relationship is worth giving all the time you can reasonably afford. Don’t rush into marriage. Courtship is necessary! Get to know him or her!
g. Emergencies
Do not get pressurized into a relationship because of emergencies. He just won a visa lottery, or got transferred to a distant location, or got a political or ministerial appointment, so he decided to make haste and get married for reasons that could range from ensuring he wouldn’t lose her due to distance or some other reasons.
If you are not very sure of him/her as your right life partner, do not make a marital commitment. Don’t yield to pressures when things become so fast you cannot think again.
Be wary of getting married to somebody you met last week online and then you are planning to resign your job and travel somewhere!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am filled with God’s wisdom to rule my house.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 MSG The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.