The fear of getting the right spouse who wouldn’t treat you harshly or abuse and jilt you is a terrible source of pressure.
There is also the fear of not meeting and having your right spouse in time.
The right way to handle this fear and its pressure is to focus your mind on the truth that God has the right spouse for you, and he or she will come at God’s appointed time.
Fear can immobilize and incapacitate. Fear can also cause you to hasten unnecessarily into dangerous terrains.
Whichever way, you need to know that God has not given you the Spirit of fear. Don’t end up marrying an unbeliever because of fear of getting old.
You cannot try to fix a pressure by violating God’s injunctions. It’s not going to work that way! You cannot jump ahead of God’s timing and expect things to work out. At the end of the day, what you venture into out of fear keeps the process elongated.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. – 2Ti 1:7 KJV
Cast out the Spirit of fear and trust your father to give you the best.
If you missed yesterday’s devotional, you can read it HERE
Comparison Traps
Another dangerous source of pressure is comparing yourself with your friends and colleagues, especially when they are all either engaged or married.
You can either be strengthened or intimidated by your friends; do not be intimidated.
Understand that you are uniquely different from every other person; your destiny is quite different from theirs, so your life’s story is also different.
A friend’s success should not determine your direction. It is comparison traps that often drive one into adulterous relationships all in the bid to ‘belong’ or to meet financial pressures.
Avoid this trap as much as possible, because when you keep trying to be like everybody else, you will be like nobody else at the end of the day.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. – 2Co 10:12 KJV
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to stay under pressure of any kind. I am in control through the Spirit of God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me daily to withstand every kind of pressures in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jas 1:13 MSG Don’t let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, “God is trying to trip me up.” God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one’s way.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Identify all sources of pressures and work towards eliminating one at a time.
Women get easily hurt. And the husbands may not even be aware that they are hurt because their needs are miles apart.
Those are the times a husband asks his wife, “what is wrong?” She simply answers “Nothing!”
She says nothing because she doesn’t feel good explaining that something so little gets her upset.
Or she knows if she tries to explain, the husband might end up making her look like an idiot. So she keeps quiet.
What are examples of those little things that could upset your wife?
1. Don’t do things that make her uncomfortable sexually. Don’t embarrass her and don’t compare her with some past escapades.
2. Don’t ignore her when it comes to making important of financial decisions. Don’t leave her in the dark, keeping her guessing all the time.
3. Don’t compare her with others especially when it has to do with her appearance, weight or hairdo. Don’t go out of your way to appreciate and dote on other women while you completely ignore her.
4. Don’t do things that you have disallowed her from doing, making her feel like a little child who cannot think for herself.
5. Don’t ignore her when she is emotionally down or physically tired. Don’t say things like, “I am tired of you. When you get out of your nasty moods, let me know!”
6. Don’t hug and embrace other ladies endlessly while you don’t even hold her hands in public. Go out of your way and offer some PDA! Public Display of Affection!
7. Don’t leave her alone to do all the house chores while still expecting her to be an amazon in bed later in the night. That would be insensitive.
8. Don’t watch football all day and all night while refusing to let her watch her favorite programs. Don’t make her look like an idiot for her preference of programs. Join her to watch sometimes, and encourage her to join you as well.
9. Don’t forget or deliberately ignore her special days like birthdays and other anniversaries. Rather go out of your way to set notifications so that you can surprise her on those special days.
May God grant more understanding
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am good spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, bless our marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 5:18 (KJV) Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Comparing your spouse or anything you have or don’t have in marriage is actually a trap. It leaves you unsatisfied and ungrateful.
The comparison trap as defined in the dictionary is the habit of measuring your life against others and is one of the most toxic behaviors we can engage in. The idea “the grass is greener” is a wild misconception fueled by jealous evaluation, and often leads to stress and anxiety.
Marriage should be lived with the two couples fully into themselves. Whatever they are or whatever they have should be celebrated by the couples. Little can become much if both can focus on what they have.
In marriage, both couples strengths are multiplied to achieve even greater results. Rather than wasting their energies in comparing and preferring another persons spouse to their God given spouse.
Every marriage is unique and has a unique purpose. No two marriages are the same, will go through the same exact path, experience the same things and have the same seasons.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Each marriage is to celebrate their own uniqueness. They are to find joy and happiness in being themselves and in going through their journey.
What comparison does is to stifle the joy in doing life together. Life comes with its own challenges, ups and downs. The strength that God gives, trusting in His word, relying on the Holy Spirit for help, and being on the same page with one another will make the journey sweeter.
Comparing your spouse with the other person deprive your spouse the opportunity of working together with your gifting and talents to achieve the common goal.
Most wives easily fall prey to comparison trap. It is not only in terms of finances is your spouse compared, but in very many ways. From looks, to mannerisms, to gestures, to emotional and mental attributes, to spirituality, intelligence, to material things.
No two people are the same and no two people will go through life in the same way. So give your spouse to grow and become who God says they should be.
This doesn’t mean we should be satisfied with the status quo, No. We are to push ourselves and press on to becoming better. While improving ourselves, we should go through life encouraging our spouse not comparing them.
We may not be satisfy at where our spouse are but we cannot change them, we can only encourage, pray for and trust God for them to become better.
The Lord will help us all in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am wise. I will not compare my spouse with another.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, make me satisfied with my spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2 Corinthians 10:12 For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Stop comparing your spouse
We started on the topic of keeping love alive in our marriages in yesterday’s devotional. Let’s delve in the remaining things we need to keep love alive.
2. Don’t Compare
The grass always seem greener at the other side. Never fall for the comparison trap.
Don’t compare other couples or marriages with your own.
Yes, you can learn from them but never compare.
The truth is you never know that other husband or wife.
Every good marriage you admire sacrificed on their path to get to where they are now.
So rather than compare and blame your spouse for not being like husband A, work on your own marriage, pay your own price and make your own sacrifices.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Don’t withdraw
The withdrawal syndrome is one thing that destroys a marriage fast.
It’s a temporary shield you build around yourself to avoid confronting and dealing with issues.
Don’t withdraw into work, yourself, your passion, activity, church project, children, porn, friends, outings or keeping late nights.
When you hide in withdrawal, you have simply created a vacuum for the devil to fill in your home.
You need to understand each other’s temperament and know how to lovingly respect each other’s differences.
Extroverts and introverts are very different and handle issues differently.
Give each other space. Allow your spouse grow without nagging them.
Be patient with your demands. Don’t expect your wife to change over night. Let the fruit of the spirit grow and manifest in your life.
Allow your marriage to grow. Let it blossom.
If you are presently experiencing a not too pleasant moment in your marriage, let grace flow towards you now, releasing peace, strength and courage to you.
I pray for you, may God’s love and a fresh love for your spouse be shed abroad in your heart now in Jesus name.
Dear singles, It’s vital we don’t compare ourselves with one another. That is why this topic is being taught. We started yesterday and we looked at reasons you cannot compare yourself with others. You can read it here.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV)
Dear singles, these are the following things to do to become free from comparison traps?
1. Know who you are in God To overcome comparison traps, you have to know who you are in God! Declare your stand in God and keep confessing that.
2. Acknowledge the good things in you. The scriptures says
That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. (Philemon 1:6 KJV)
When you recognize and acknowledge every good thing in you, your gifting and talents, the communication of your faith or the effectiveness of your spiritual life will become a reality.
3. Fill yourself with God’s word To deal with comparison traps, you have to keep filling yourself with God’s word. The word of God is like a mirror.
But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. (2 Corinthians 3:18 KJV)
When you begin to read and study God’s word, you will be changed into the picture of that which God shows you in His word. You will be free from comparing yourself with other mortals.
4. Learn to praise God for all things. Learn to praise God always and appreciate Him for what He has done and what He is doing in your life! At the root of comparison trap is an ungrateful heart. As you begin to genuinely appreciate God for His mercies and His blessings, you will be severed from unnecessary pressure to compare yourself with others.
I pray for you this morning and by the Spirit of God, I declare that all wrong spirits behind competitive jealousy lose their power over you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of competitive jealousy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Declare over your life your freedom from all wrong spirits
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, (Jude 1:24 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Free yourself form all comparisons from today
