How to Deal with Lack of Commitment and Sacrifice in a Relationship
A relationship without commitment and sacrifice is like a house built on sand; it may stand temporarily, but it will crumble under pressure. If you’re experiencing this struggle, here’s how to address it biblically:
1. Understand God’s design: Marriage requires mutual sacrifice, modeled after Christ’s love for the church. Ephesians 5:25 instructs, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This sacrificial love isn’t optional; it’s foundational. Both partners must embrace the call to die to self (Luke 9:23).
2. Communicate your concerns honestly: Proverbs 27:5-6 says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” Have a loving but direct conversation about what you’re experiencing. Express specific ways the lack of commitment affects you, avoiding accusation but speaking truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
3. Examine your own heart first: Matthew 7:3-5 warns against judging others while ignoring our own flaws. Are you modeling the commitment you desire? Sometimes we must lead by example, trusting that our faithfulness will inspire reciprocity.
4. Set healthy boundaries: Commitment requires two willing participants. If your partner consistently refuses to invest in the relationship, you may need to establish boundaries. Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
5. Seek godly counsel: Proverbs 15:22 reminds us, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Talk with a pastor, Christian counselor, or trusted mentor who can provide a biblical perspective and practical guidance.
6. Prayer and patience: First Corinthians 13:4-7 describes love as patient and enduring. Pray for your partner’s heart and for wisdom in responding. Remember Philippians 2:3-4: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”
Ultimately, both partners must choose daily to commit and sacrifice. Without this mutual decision, the relationship cannot reflect God’s covenant love.
Commitment can feel pretty overwhelming. A lot of folks today are nervous about getting tied down or making the wrong choice, especially when it comes to love. We all want something real, but deep down, there’s that fear, not because we don’t want to love, but because we’re scared of what love might ask from us.
“Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” Ruth 1:16
Take Ruth from the Bible, for example. She made a bold choice to stick with her mother-in-law, Naomi, even though she could’ve gone back to her own people. She didn’t have a husband, no clear plan for how she’d be taken care of, and no guarantee that her future would be brighter. But she chose to stay anyway.
Ruth’s story shows us that commitment isn’t always easy, but it can mean a lot and often comes from a place of faith.
Where does the fear of commitment come from, and why are people afraid of commitment? Many people struggle with the idea of commitment for several reasons:
Past hurt – Some of us have been let down, betrayed, or had our hearts broken before.
Fear of making the wrong choice – No one wants to tie themselves to someone, only to later think it was a huge mistake.
Loss of independence – Some people worry they’ll lose themselves or their freedom in a relationship.
Unrealistic expectations – With social media and those romantic movies, real relationships can feel kinda boring in comparison.
Unhealed wounds – If we’re still carrying baggage from the past, it makes trusting again really hard.
These fears are totally valid, but they shouldn’t run your life or your relationships.
What are the lessons we can learn from Ruth’s life?
1. Commitment is a choice, not just a feeling.
Ruth didn’t feel forced to stay; she made a deliberate decision. Real commitment kicks in when you choose to stick around, even when your feelings are all over the place.
God can guide you toward purpose through commitment.
By staying by Naomi’s side, Ruth eventually met Boaz and became part of Jesus’ family line. She had no clue how her story would unfold, but God honored her loyalty. Commitment often paves the way for unexpected blessings.
Having the fear of commitment is okay, but don’t let it hold you back.
Courage isn’t about the absence of fear; it is moving forward in faith despite it. You don’t have to know every little thing to trust God in your relationships.
2. Healthy commitment comes after healing.
Ruth didn’t jump into another marriage right after. She found healing by walking in faith and making wise, loyal choices. Before jumping into a relationship, give God a chance to help you heal and grow both emotionally and spiritually. Godly commitment aligns with purpose, not just feelings. When God leads your commitment, it brings peace instead of pressure. You don’t have to chase after love—just be ready when it shows up, how God wants it to.
So it’s okay to be nervous. The fear of commitment is ok. Most people aren’t really scared of love itself; they’re just worried about what might go wrong if they give their all. But real growth happens when we confront those fears instead of running away.
Ruth’s story reminds us that healthy and meaningful commitment is out there—it often takes us to the beautiful places God has waiting for us. If you’re single, now’s the time to face your fears honestly, let God work on what needs fixing, and start building the strength and trust that lasting love demands.
No need to rush or pretend. Just be yourself and stay open to the idea that love, when it’s God’s will, it is absolutely worth going for.
One of the Apostles who wrote extensively on marriage is Apostle Paul.
Interestingly, we are not sure whether Apostle Paul got married or not.
One thing we know for sure is that he was not married at the time of this writing. He was single!
1Co 7:27 (MSG) Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married.
Why would Apostle Paul say this?
Let us dive into this.
1. Additional Stress
1Co 7:28 (MSG) But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.
He believed that getting married would bring some additional stress, which he believes is avoidable by remaining single! Just that you and I won’t listen!
2. It’s Complicated!
Apostle Paul believes that getting married will usher in some complications, which might make it more difficult to serve God.
1Co 7:32 (MSG) I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master.
3. Demands on Attention
He believes your attention is totally divided because you must always please your spouse!
1Co 7:33-34 (MSG) Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, [34] leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God.
4. Marriage is not wrong!
He is not saying marriage is wrong. He is only encouraging singleness.
1Co 7:38 (MSG) Marriage is spiritually and morally right and not inferior to singleness in any way, although as I indicated earlier, because of the times we live in, I do have pastoral reasons for encouraging singleness.
5. One will chase a thousand, two ten thousand.
If you find a couple who are sincere, sacrificial, selfless, and love God, they will do more as couples than remain single!
Marriage is a blessing, but only for those who are ready to work it out!
The other day, I was talking our first son and his best friend, and my question was “When are you guys getting married? Both of them just smiled and replied with an expression like, “Marriage? Who is thinking of that?” When I was my son’s age, I was already “toasting” Pastor Sophia!
Why do guys hesitate today? Why does it seem marriage is the last thing on their mind?
Let’s dive into this this morning.
The world today is a fast-paced world, where instant gratification is often a click away, but relationships and marriage seem to be following a different timeline!
This phenomenon has sparked curiosity and, at times, frustration among young ladies wanting to walk down the aisle. So, why are guys taking their sweet time to commit or walk down the aisle?
Did you miss yesterday’s devotional? Read it below!
The young man today is fiercely independent, valuing personal growth and career ambitions. Many young men are delaying marriage to focus on establishing themselves professionally and financially. This may nit be unconnected that there is “hunger” in the land! Building a career before building a home resonates strongly. For married couples, ensure there is a balance between you career and home! Family comes first!
2. Perfect Timing
The concept of “perfect timing” is another factor contributing to the delay. Guys are more attuned to the idea of timing in their lives, often waiting for the perfect moment when all stars align – career stability, emotional readiness, and finding the ideal partner. This pursuit of the perfect scenario can lead to postponements in making significant relationship milestones.
After wedding, ask married couples, three will be more responsibilities, but this also makes you to sit up and harness every grace and opportunities available to take care of your family!
I will stop here today! Watch out for the second part tomorrow!
