1. I will pursue my career, it is my life, don’t hinder me
Some married couples see their spouses as hindrances to fulfilling their careers, dreams, and desires. This is rather dysfunctional because, in God’s idea of marriage, your spouse is supposed to be an added advantage to the success of your career and dreams. No wonder the Bible says,’ One will chase a thousand, two will put ten thousand to flight’. This is a good deal, don’t you think? Your partner is supposed to push you ahead 10,000 times more. When you begin to feel otherwise, something is definitely wrong.
Maintaining balance between your career and relationship is one of the greatest achievements you can have in life.
2. My spouse cannot fully satisfy my needs, I need some other emotional affairs.
Well, in the agenda of God, your spouse is not supposed to play God and completely meet all your needs – that’s why ultimately your relationship with God is still your most vital relationship. Nonetheless, you do not need any form of an emotional affair, especially with any opposite sex. Your love relationship with your spouse should be such that you are satisfied and contented with the one God gave you needing no emotional gratification from any other.
For singles, this lie can open you up to double dating and emotional affairs, which are dangerous habits, because it is the rehearsal for extra marital affairs. You are supposed to be faithful, even emotionally.
3. Being vulnerable is not the best, you need to have some self defence mechanism
Usually, any self-defence mechanism that is not from the spirit of God will eventually lead to regret. God wants us to follow him and to do that wholly. Different people develop different defence mechanisms. Some don’t share their deepest longings; desires or aspirations, thinking if they do, this vital information will be used against them.
Some keep extended family issues away from their spouse, saying, ‘it’s my family issue, it’s none of your business.’ This is very defective because once you are married; you no longer have two families but one big family.
4. I need to have some people I get advice from without my spouse’s knowledge.
I am not saying you should not seek counsel. Remember in the midst of godly counsel, there is direction. However, the counsel is qualified – it has to be godly. That the Bible says ‘godly’ means there will be ungodly counsels too. One major characteristic of godly counsel is that it will seek to lead you more towards God and a well-balanced relationship. If this is the aim, then it should not be secretive, kept away from your spouse. Any relationship your spouse does not know of or approve of will eventually lead to negative repercussions.
5. Little lies in your relationship are inevitable.
Some people feel lies are part and parcel of any relationship. Some even say ladies are wired to believe lies, they prefer lies to truth. Well, this is an ungodly myth that is a wrong seed in your marriage or relationship. It will eventually yield unpleasant fruits. There are no little or big lies, white, grey, or black lies. A lie is nothing but a lie. One degree away from the truth is a lie. Sincerity becomes a priceless ingredient in the making of a godly marriage or relationship.
I pray that God will help us more and continue to open our eyes of understanding to know Him more and understand His ways better.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The counsel of God is my delight. I have the wisdom to stay away from dangerous habits.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to stay on the path of truth and prevent you from falling into these dangerous habits.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient:all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any (1 Corinthians 6:12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life and make amends
Act 20:32 KJV And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified.
Everything you do in life is like a load and for every load, you need strength. The success you have in life is as a result of the load you can carry. The business you are doing for a living is as a result of the financial load you can handle. Your intellectual prowess and the parameters of your cognitive abilities are defined by the load your brain can accommodate. Going to school is a load. Starting a relationship is a load. Getting married is a load.
Even, being blessed is a load in itself because it comes with responsibilities.
If you leave your precious expensive phone with a three-day-old baby, the phone will be safe. It is not a load the baby can carry. However, you don’t want to leave that same phone with a one-year-old baby, because you could find the phone in a bowl of water. However, your big laptop is not what your one-year-old baby can carry.
It is about the strength and stamina that one possesses that determine what you can eventually do and what you dare not do.
A small 1.5KVA generator cannot carry much load. You don’t plug in your freezer on that! Your freezer can render the destiny of that generator useless. However, a 500KVA will accommodate five freezers without ‘shaking’ because it has the strength to carry such load. In life, your spirit man or inner man is like a generator, supplying power to your mind and body.
So, we see that it is important that you be built up. When you are built up, little afflictions will not render you incapacitated. Little skirmishes will not stop you from attending church service. You will not backslide because you had a breakthrough of a Million bucks. You will not fall for fornication because you sighted a hot leg!
If you begin a relationship with not enough strength and stamina, you will mess up and then break up! If you are wise, you will slow down to find out what went wrong. But you know what most of us do? We jump into another relationship because of self-esteem issues and in order to get back at our ex! You are not able to keep one person; you dabble into double dating? It won’t work out! There is no available strength from God to carry that kind of strange load in a double dating scenario.
The next question then is how can I increase stamina and strength?
You see it right there in the scriptures…
The word of God which is able to build you up…
This is what gives you strength and stamina in life. This is what determines the loads you can carry. Just like you eat food to develop your physical outlook, you have to eat God’s word regularly to develop your inner man. The mentors and fathers you admire in life are where they are because of the loads they are carrying. Your own load is there to carry. Nobody will carry it for you. Some white garment prophet or prophetess is not meant to carry the responsibility of fasting to help you discover God’s direction for your life. That is a load you must carry by yourself. That prophet has loads he would carry himself, and he is deceiving you when he tells you he will help you fast and pray.
You must be built up. You must eat God’s word regularly. Study it. Meditate on it. Read it. Memorize the verses. Listen to it on your phone. Set it before you daily. Say it. Think it. Soliloquize on it. That is how you build up the muscles of faith to deal with situations of life. When you sin, you are weakening your spirit man and his capacity to do exploits. Make up your mind today. Decide to do it God’s way. You are not built or configured to carry these loads in your own strength. You will always need God. You will always have God if you make up your mind.
It is not by power, nor by might…but His Spirit!
That way, there will be stamina to pull a relationship through courtship into marriage without compromise or breakdown along the way. It is like a vehicle. You keep on refilling with Holy Ghost fuel. You keep on maintaining it with God’s word. This applies to whatever load you are carrying, be it career, business, or ministry.
I see God’s help made available for you this month! I see God’s Spirit opening up your understanding for His revelation in your inner man. I see God coming to your rescue this month! I see God organizing helpers of destiny for you in the coming month!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the strength of God in my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to carry the load I must carry and give me the strength to fulfill destiny in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Act 20:32 MSG”Now I’m turning you over to God, our marvelous God whose gracious Word can make you into what he wants you to be and give you everything you could possibly need in this community of holy friends.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be built up by His word today
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In today’s devotional, we’ll be looking at five kinds of women a man may end up with. Let’s delve into it right away
1. The Choleric wife
She is known to be energetic, sharp-mouthed, unemotional with words and actions, and can survive on her own.
She needs no external motivation or encouragement. She can be very independent and this can lead to friction between couples.
Usually, a choleric wife will have a husband of the opposite temperament. Hence, they should learn to maximize their strengths and minimize their weaknesses.
2. The Career wife
This is a woman at the top echelon of her career, so she can often become prideful if care is not taken.
The husband should be secure enough to let his wife go for the best and ultimate in her career.
There are husbands who can be so threatened with the progress of their wives. This is a wrong heart. Let her be, and let her go for the best.
The keyword here is honor. As long as the wife does not get proud.
3. The stubborn wife
Some wives can be stubborn o! From counseling experiences, I have seen wives that would stand on their opinion even when you show them the scriptures. There are stubborn men as well o!
How do you know a stubborn wife?
Stubborn wives don’t talk much, they just won’t budge. They will just be looking at you like Lucozade, but what they will do is what they will do.
This is not good as well. It is not beneficial for the prayer life of the couple.
4. The manipulative wife
The manipulative wife has several weapons in her arsenal including crying, throwing tantrums, withdrawing, talking endlessly, refusing jeru trip, nagging, until she gets what she wants.
She always wants the man at her beck and call.
This may go on for a while especially if the husband is on the calm side, but one day, he would definitely react.
5. The insistent wife
The insistent wife is hard, difficult and doesn’t listen to anything apart from what she knows or wants.
Her major weapon is anger.
She always wants to be told what she wants to hear and she picks up a quarrel with anybody that dares go against what she feels.
Her husband lives in perpetual fear of what could happen next.
This is a wrong attitude that could be detrimental to the marriage.
The problem is that what she knows is limited and what she wants can often be a wrong desire.
We are all work in progress and nobody knows it all. Meekness or being teachable is a great virtue in marriage.
Husband and wife should strive to live considerably with one another.
Put yourselves in one another’s shoes.
This is where maturity is.
1Pe 3:1 (AMPC) IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [ subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them ], so that even if any do not obey the Word [ of God ], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [ godly ] lives of their wives,
1Pe 3:7 (AMPC) In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise you cannot pray effectively. ]
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be submissive
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to love my husband
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:1 (MSG) The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated
