First of all and as a background, I will like you to see the meaning of the word “virtuous”, this will help us put proper perspective.
The word “virtuous” is from the Hebrew word “Chayil” which means virtue, valor, strength, and wealth.
When we say a virtuous woman, it actually means “strength” A virtuous woman is a virgin and someone who has kept herself because that is a definition of some strength, but that is not all to it! A virtuous woman is also a lady who despite all she has gone through refuses to give up and makes up her mind never to compromise again!
Don’t get me wrong, a virtuous woman is a lady that is clean and refuses to sin, but a virtuous woman is also a woman who has sinned so much or has been abused so much and yet comes out to stop sinning and fulfill her destiny!
For example, Joyce Meyer is indeed a virtuous woman! Her father slept with her constantly into her teenage years. She was abused sexually, verbally, and in all ways. Her self-esteem was crushed. Her first marriage ended in divorce. Yet out of the ashes of her messed-up life, she rose with the help of God’s Spirit and built a worldwide ministry!
You couldn’t mention three names of women in ministry today without her name popping up! That is what a virtuous woman is! She was broken but she ended up becoming a master at mending!
Let me convince you more.
The word “Chayil” from which “Virtuous” was translated is from the root word “chûl chı̂yl” which means to twist or whirl (in a circular or spiral manner), that is, (specifically) to dance, to writhe in pain, fall grievously (with pain), fear, form, great, grieve, (be) grievous, hope, look, make, be in pain, be much (sore) pained, rest, shake, shapen, (be) sorrow (-full), stay, tarry, travail (with pain), tremble, trust, wait carefully (patiently), be wounded.
Those words present a picture of someone who has gone through so much and yet continues to fight to overcome those things. If I can make a sentence out of that definition, it will look like this:
Somebody who has been twisted and whirled around, abused and messed up, gone through so much pain and grief, has been wounded, and yet refuses to lose hope but allows all the experience to shape her into who God really wants her to be!
To be continued
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have victory in my mind and so I am victorious in my life and marriage. I am replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I ask that you flood the eyes of my mind with revelation light.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting. -2Corinthians 4:18 (AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Consciously begin to replace the negative thoughts in your mind with positive ones.
SINGLES – How To Be Sure Of Your Choice In Marriage
Being directed or led by God is the most important issue before marriage; when you are not led, it only leads to misery, pains, sorrow, and regrets.
My prayer is that you will not experience these. If your answer to that prayer is amen, now is the time to be sure that the person you are in love with is God’s choice for you.
Just because you are in love with someone does not give you enough basis to enter into a lifetime covenant with the person. It’s very easy to fall in love, all it takes is that person having all the qualities you admire, being physically attractive, spending time together, giving him/her a special place in your heart, thinking about him/her a lot and you’re already in love.
You’ll agree with me that it’s possible to fall in love with more than one person but only one person is qualified to be your wife/husband.
Once you have identified your spouse, you are no longer permitted to desire others, but to only admire them.
GOD then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man. The Man said, “Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh! Name her Woman for she was made from Man.” Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh. –Genesis 2:22-24 (MSG)
The above scripture shows that God himself was very much involved in bringing the man and the woman together.
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. –Romans 8:14 (KJV)
The question is, do you have God’s spirit? Are you born again? If yes, how are you working on your relationship with God? How consistently do you study God’s word?
What service do you render in a local assembly? How well you answer these questions will determine how well your spirit is developed to receive directions from God, not only in matters of your relationships but in all areas.
You must also make sure that the three aspects of you agree with the choice of your life partner.
Man is essentially a spirit; you have a soul and live in a body. Do these three (spirit, soul, and body) agree in perfect harmony.
Is there peace? Is he/she intelligent and emotionally mature?
Are you friends? Someone said friendship in marriage is about one soul living in two bodies.
Physically, does he/she meet your standard of beauty? Are you attractive to each other?
Go to any length to find adequate answers to these questions. Ask him/her a lot of questions. Find out where he/she is going. Can you fit in?
Is the guy a good leader? How well has he led himself? Can he lead you well?
Becoming sure is all about erasing every doubt or question in your heart about the person, the relationship, and the future. No one can be sure for you. Until you’re totally sure and convinced, don’t say YES!
Don’t tie the nuptial knots until all the knotty issues are resolved. I pray that God will send help your way in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have direction from God. In my relationship decisions, I am being led by the Spirit of God. I am not confused in Jesus Name. I will not fall in love with the wrong person. The Spirit of God will help me to be sure.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I destroy every spirit of distraction and deception in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Take me by the hand; Lead me down the path of truth. You are my Savior, aren’t you? Psalms 25:5 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Think deeply about your relationships and take an inventory
The scripture clearly identifies the importance of physical attraction when it comes to marriage.
God in His wisdom knows that if a man does not derive satisfaction from his wife, he would seek it else where, which of course will not only be detrimental to him, but to his whole family.
So, God advises the man:
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings (Proverbs 5:18-21 KJV)
In other words, what God wants is that you focus on your wife and not somebody out there. He said all your ways are before Him and He will inquire about everything you do. More or less, the affair that you think is secret is actually open to God.
As a single, you don’t want to spiritualise everything and say attraction doesn’t matter! It matters a lot!
Marry somebody you like and you love, a friend you can play with and laugh with. That is why the scripture says, “…rejoice with the wife of thy youth.“ The Importance of Body Chemistry
You also need to know that God will not force anybody on you. This idea that you are marrying somebody not because you love the person but because God said so is defective.
As a lady, when a guy walks up to you and tells you that God has spoken to Him, you also need to hear God as well.
Now, we have established that physical attraction is very important! But there is a balance! Physical attraction alone is not the only thing that determines your choice! See the scripture.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 KJV)
Message Translation says:
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear–of– God. (Proverbs 31:30 Message)
So we see here, the only thing shouldn’t be outward beauty, but also inner beauty.
It is okay if she has hot legs, but her heart must also be hot for God! A hot leg without a hot heart will get your hands burnt at the end.
So in man or in a woman, I should have attraction for him or her, while he or she must have attraction for God.
This is very important!
In conclusion, no lady should ever think she is not beautiful. There is nothing like that. You are beautiful and you should believe it.
Have you not seen some of the most handsome men (in your opinion) get married to some of the most ugly ladies? (again, in your opinion) And then such men would say their wives are beautiful! You see, beauty is in the beholder’s eyes!
When your husband sees you, regardless of how you think you look, he will love you and will tell you that you are beautiful.
So, you can help yourself and your esteem by looking at the mirror daily and pointing to who you see there and say, “you are beautiful!” The Importance of Body Chemistry
If some people have told you that you are ugly, it is okay. You are wonderfully and fearfully made, so says the scripture. That means you will be “wonderful” to some and you will be “fearful” to others. Certainly when your spouse sets eyes on you, you will be “wonderful!”
So be patient and wait for the salvation of God in your marriage.
May God help us all.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a child of God. I am beautiful
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will be your wisdom and strength
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it (Proverbs 31:10-11 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write down what you want in a spouse.
We started this topic yesterday by looking at how Apostle Peter admonished all wives to be devoted to their husbands. He also encouraged wives to avoid nagging as it doesn’t work.
Let’s glean more wisdom from those verses.
1Pe 3:2 For when they observe your pure, godly life before God, it will impact them deeply.
Here, Peter talks about wives being concerned about what they do, rather than any other thing. Wives are to live holy, pure, and godly lives. No lies, deception, emotional affairs, etc.
1Pe 3:3 (3-4) Let your true beauty come from your inner personality, not a focus on the external. For lasting beauty comes from a gentle and peaceful spirit, which is precious in God’s sight and is much more important than the outward adornment of elaborate hair, jewelry, and fine clothes.
This deals with the issue of beauty and all that surrounds it. A woman’s life can be so engrossed in fashion and beauty. It could even be an obsession, with the so many beauty products available. The Bible tells wives that to be priceless before your husband and before God, you have to pay utmost attention to your heart (inward personality) of having a quiet and peaceable spirit. Sincerity and openness of heart are very good virtues.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive strength to be who God has made me to be
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray for a submissive heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief – we’re not oblivious to his sly ways! (2Co 2:11 MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read the bible passage in other translations
You wouldn’t imagine how important this is to women. They want to hear it all the time! A man wonders why he should keep saying that because he is logical.
A woman thinks if you don’t say it often, with emotion, eyeball to eyeball, you don’t really love her!
For singles, It is okay to express your love to your fiancée but you must not allow verbal expression to lead to physical aggression. You sure know what I am talking about!
2. Tell her she is beautiful.
Women have issues with their bodies especially after giving birth. She worries about her shape, her belly, her face and more. It goes a long way when you tell her and keep telling her that she is beautiful. I say this to my wife all the time and she would still blush and smile like she is hearing that for the first time.
If your fiancé or husband never says that to you, ask him directly how you look in a dress.
Ladies who are not yet in a relationship, understand that you will not appear beautiful to everybody. If somebody says you are ugly, that is a personal opinion. You will be beautiful to your spouse!
The scripture says you are ‘fearfully’ and ‘wonderfully’ made. So it is okay to be ‘fearful’ to some people. Beauty is in the beholder’s eyes. When your spouse sees you, you will be the most beautiful woman on earth. So stop worrying yourself unnecessarily.
3. Listen to her when she talks, give her attention, and don’t ignore her presence.
This is very important to both singles and married couples. It is important you listen well. In a particular country, women pay listeners per hour to just listen to them talk. If a woman finds a listener in her colleague, an emotional affair is knocking on the door. Ever wondered how respectable women end up sleeping with their cooks or drivers?
They were neglected by their husbands and they found a companion elsewhere!
The highest form of listening is empathic listening and this is what your fiancee requires. It involves a guy putting himself in her shoes as he listens with compassion.
Give her your time and attention. Don’t let her compete with laptops, blackberries, ipods, ipads and other ‘toys’
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to trust your timing.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalms 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.