What Song of Solomon Teaches About Godly Intimacy

Before the wedding, you noticed everything: their smile, their voice, the way they looked at you. Now you mostly notice whether they remembered to buy electricity.

Responsibilities are real. But your spouse is more than a fellow manager of the household. There is still room to admire and enjoy the person you married.

Love has a place in Scripture

Song of Solomon is biblical love poetry. In 4:9–10, the speaker delights in his bride and expresses admiration with vivid, affectionate language.

Christians have read the Song in different ways through history, including symbolic readings. Its love poetry also gives us a meaningful picture of tenderness and delight that married couples can receive without shame.

That does not make every romantic desire wise or holy. Scripture’s wider teaching places sexual faithfulness within marriage and calls believers to honour others rather than use them.

Notice, then speak

You do not need to copy the Song’s imagery into a WhatsApp message. You can say something sincere in your own voice: “I love being with you,” or “You looked beautiful today, and I forgot to tell you.”

Admiration is more than commenting on appearance. Notice courage, humour, kindness and the way your spouse cares for people. Intimacy grows where someone feels known rather than inspected.

Keep compliments free of comparison. “You look good for your age” and “Why can’t you dress like them?” do not communicate the same care as simply appreciating your spouse.

Delight without pressure

Physical intimacy should be approached with mutual care. Neither Scripture nor a wedding vow gives permission to coerce, shame or ignore pain.

Talk gently about what helps you feel close, what feels difficult and what this season allows. Bodies and circumstances change. Affection can remain thoughtful through those changes.

If you are single or dating, this poem is not permission to cross the boundaries Scripture gives. It can help you see that biblical faithfulness is not hostility toward love; it makes room for love expressed rightly.

For married couples, the invitation today is simple: slow down enough to see each other, and let affection become something you communicate rather than assume.

Reflect

• When did I last express genuine admiration to my spouse?
• Does my approach to intimacy communicate care or pressure?

Prayer

Lord, help us cherish the love we share. Teach us faithfulness, tenderness and honest communication. Let our intimacy reflect care for each other, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

One step today

Tell your spouse something you genuinely admire, without making a request in return.