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How to Break Free from a Controlling Toxic Partners

It’s incredible how people sometimes stick around in relationships that are not working out. In my counseling work with individuals worldwide, I’m often saddened to hear how some have lost faith in themselves due to past negative experiences. 

Too many people have given up because the devil has succeeded in convincing them they are the problem and they are to be blamed for all the relationship or marriage woes.

This often leads them to cling to dysfunctional relationships, refusing to let go of something that’s not going anywhere. Usually, the woman reaches a point where she believes nobody else will come along if she leaves her current partner.

So, she hangs on, even when it’s clear that something isn’t right with the relationship. They hang on to a toxic partner while going through all the fallouts and yet refuse to let go.

There are different types of control and toxicity in relationships and marriage. Here is one type of partner I firmly believe you shouldn’t waste your time with. They’re not worth investing years of your life in, only to realize in the end that you’re left out in the cold.

Controlling Partners

Controlling partners are manipulative and insecure. At the core of their behavior is selfishness, sometimes bordering on wickedness. Controlling partners are also experts in gaslighting and stonewalling as part of their weaponry to keep others down. Controlling partners are incredibly selfish.

Galatians 5:17 (MSG) tells us, “For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness.”

Controlling people will always reveal their true colors during courtship or friendship. They won’t let you breathe, interact with others, or showcase your talents. They’re content to keep your potential suppressed because of their insecurities. Those are red flags!

They might even invade your privacy by checking your phone, acting like spies. You’ll feel like you have to report to them daily on everyone you’ve met, what was said, and how you responded.

If you allow them, these partners will silence your voice. You’ll never be able to explore your creativity and talents because they keep you from opportunities. Warn your children about these controlling partners before they fall hopelessly and helplessly in love! 

It’s usually not worth it because after enduring the torment for years, one reaches a breaking point and then rebels. This often leads to separation or divorce, which isn’t always part of God’s plan for your life. Some men won’t let their wives pursue their careers, insisting they stay in the kitchen due to their insecurities.

Some ladies won’t let their husbands (called into ministry) answer God’s call on their lives. Be cautious about who you fall in love with.

The solution here is to recognize the signs early on and seek help. Whether through counseling or therapy, it’s crucial to understand that you deserve a healthy, balanced relationship where your voice is heard and your potential is encouraged.

As singles in a relationship, if you recognize controlling behavior, you can take steps towards saving the relationship if there is cooperation. But if there is no cooperation, begin regaining your independence and finding a partner who respects and supports you.

Remember, there is always time to prioritize your well-being and happiness. Don’t let fear or insecurity keep you trapped in a relationship that stifles your growth and happiness. Seek help, know your worth, and have the courage to walk away from toxic relationships.

As couples, our reaction is not to fight, throw tantrums, or go into withdrawal mode. Our reaction as married people is to seek therapy and counseling in an attempt to save the marriage.

God bless you! 

 Are you in need of one-on-one therapy and counselling, or do you need an intervention in your marriage or relationship? Go to


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