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Avoid These Types of Selfishness in Marriage

Being married is a call to selflessness. God is love and love is an action word. Love is practical. You cannot say you love your spouse while you are being selfish. Just as you love yourself, you must love your spouse too.

Couples should avoid these types of selfishness

Don’t Be Selfish To Yourself

1. Selfishness in taking care of yourself

Self-care and self-love are recommended for healthy living, good mental health, and good self-esteem. However, in marriage, we are to look out for each other. A selfish spouse is known in few ways. How do you treat your spouse when he or she is ill? Some expect their spouse to be all over them, taking care of them. There is nothing wrong with this. In fact, that’s how it should be. However, everything is wrong, when you don’t reciprocate the same to your spouse. 

You treat them with levity. Husband, how do you treat your wife when she is pregnant? Do you tell her to get up and do the house chores and cook because you don’t know how to cook? 

Do you buy stuff for yourself and forget your spouse or buy a cheaper version for your spouse?

There’s a funny video on Instagram where the wife serves her husband food but hides more chicken in her own food. Are you like that? Learn to treat your spouse well, if not better than yourself.

Don’t Be Selfish To Yourself

2. Selfishness in celebrating yourself

Always find ways and opportunities to celebrate your spouse. Celebrate your spouse’s physical beauty, mental capacity, cooking skills, organizational skills etc

Appreciate them for them to be able to do better. Whatever you appreciate will not depreciate. Whatever you disregard, depreciates. 

Always look for ways in casual conversations with friends and colleagues to celebrate your spouse. Never miss an opportunity to do this. It could be very painful when you don’t celebrate your spouse but celebrate others. Do this and your spouse will learn from you to do the same.

My husband had to correct me on this. It is not hero worship, it is being minded of your spouse, being smart, and being their number one cheerleader. If you appreciate your spouse, you are appreciating yourself. Papa E.A Adeboye does that a lot. My husband too does this.

Some spouse are always blowing their own trumpet. Without attributing some accolade to their spouse, as if they don’t have any good qualities worthy of appreciation. Be very generous with appreciating your spouse. If you find it difficult to appreciate your spouse then you are not a grateful person. A grateful soul will always find things to appreciate about their spouse. This will also reflect on how grateful you are to God.

Good morning

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