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4 Strategies to Overcome Comparison in Relationships

Comparison can be a destructive force in relationships, often leading to dissatisfaction, insecurity, and resentment.

There is no iota of wisdom in comparing yourself on any level. In life, you should understand that you are not competing with anybody; you are only competing with yourself!

“For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” (2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV)

As singles or couples, how do you escape the comparison trap as the initiator or the victim? Here are four strategies to escape the comparison trap and nurture strong, fulfilling relationships.

1. Do not compare your new relationship with that of your ex.

This can end a promising relationship quickly or bring unnecessary friction into a marriage. Let your ex be!

Never allow your ex to become an executive in your next relationship!

Comparing your current relationship to past ones can hinder growth and intimacy. Each relationship is unique, with its own dynamics and potential. Constantly dwelling on past experiences can prevent you from fully investing in the present.

Move into the new season that God has given you and stop looking back.

Nobody drives a car by looking at the rear mirror all the time. There will be a marital accident like that.

The comparison trap can put your spouse or spouse-to-be under unnecessary pressures and try to live up to your expectations.

This way, you end up losing your identity and personality and whittle yourself away in your bid to become like another person.

You cannot live all your life trying to keep up with someone or trying to look like one person. You will sap yourself of precious energy and you can’t have focus like that! It is not a wise decision.

Acknowledge the lessons learned from past relationships and focus on building a future with your current partner.

2. Love yourself and love your partner.

At the root of the perpetual comparison trap is that you don’t love yourself. Learn to appreciate yourself as God’s gift to this generation and stop dwelling on what you don’t have and can’t do.

When a lady doesn’t love herself, it can lead to many problems and issues. The lady, if not careful, can end up sleeping with any available person trying to search for her identity, looking for love, and somebody to affirm her. Sadly, the more she searches in the wrong places, the more elusive that which she desperately wants becomes.

Also, when you are married to a spouse you don’t love, maybe you are attracted because of money, at the end of the day, you will get tired of the money because there is a need in every person to love and to be loved genuinely.

When you love money more than yourself and it influences your decisions, at the expense of God’s direction, that is what the scripture refers to as the root of all evils.

By learning to love and accept oneself, individuals can enter relationships from a place of strength rather than neediness.

3. Don’t be jealous of others’ achievements.

When you always go green with envy or jealousy at others’ achievements, it is a bad attitude you need to deal with.

Jealousy and envy are toxic emotions that poison relationships. Practice empathy and genuine happiness for their successes. Recognize that everyone’s journey is unique, and another’s success does not diminish your worth or potential.

The Bible says you should rejoice with those who rejoice. When you have a spiritual understanding that one man’s testimony is another man’s prophecy, you will cease getting jealous of others.

4. Don’t look at others to see what new thing to do; rather, seek God’s face.

You ought to get direction from God, not what somebody is doing or not doing. Stop looking at others for validation or direction.

You need to learn to be secure in God.

You don’t get married because your friends are getting married.

You don’t jump into any available relationship, irrespective of the man’s spiritual standing just because all your friends are in a relationship.

Allow God to lead you in your season. There is a uniqueness of destinies and you should understand that.

I pray that this season will yield its increase unto you in Jesus’ name! Be blessed today and have a fruitful week ahead of you!

I love you!




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