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What if My Spouse Is Abusive 

An Abusive Partner is more difficult to deal with in marriage than in courtship. In courtship, there is no legal binding of any sort and that means you can exit at will. 

However, it is not so easy in marriage as there is legal bidding, a joining of bodies and the soul, a joining of families, and children born are also involved.

There are various types of abuse in marriage and abuse is at different levels. An abusive partner manipulates his/ her partner to gain control and oppress them.

There are different forms of abuse. There are different forms of emotional abuse like stonewalling, silent treatment, withdrawing love and affection, stalking, financial abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, using sensitive information or secrets to manipulate, blame shift, and the list goes on.

What if My Spouse Is Abusive?

If you have an abusive partner you want to prioritize your safety and mental health. Whatever you do make sure you are not sucked into depression and other health issues as a result of your partner’s behaviour. You want to develop a coping mechanism while a lasting workable solution is being sorted out.

Since you are already married and joined together by covenant, I believe the first option is not to seek divorce but to seek a solution, unless your life is threatened.

You may find some of these tips helpful and applicable to your particular situation.

What if My Spouse Is Abusive?

1. Try to find out and understand why he/she is being abusive. Research through books to find out. Is it pressure, background, character flaws, or mental illness?

2. You want to seek God for wisdom and understanding through prayers and not complaining.

3. You want to develop a mechanism that will make you stronger than his/her abuses. Be strong in your spirit by being joyful and happy, and be financially independent. Let them know that you refuse to be abused.

4. Find a support group or system, for emotional support and know your right.

5. Talk to a counselor, a therapist, or a mentor, someone they respect and can listen to.

6. You want to be sure you are not doing things that will aggravate the situation

7. You want to change your perspective about the situation, that your partner needs help and you are being compassionate rather than being judgemental.

Like I said earlier in all these, your safety comes first. You might have to report to law enforcement agencies if physical abuse and threat to your life is involved.

I hope this helps someone


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