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SINGLES-Three Things You Can Do In Your Relationship

When I started courtship with my wife years ago (1996), it was on the campus. We lived in the same compound, it was a very large one with several buildings there and there was the guy’s section and ladies’ section. So I had the opportunity of going over to her hostel and then we will walk down to the fellowship venue.

Immediately, I discovered that she did her things very slowly. This aggravated me because I was quick in doing everything. At the time, I had not read any books on temperaments and didn’t know that our differences were to balance out each other.

I started complaining and what delivered me was the book, Spirit-filled temperament. Your partner or spouse is not meant to be like you. What do you think the world would be like if everybody was like you?

Today, we are still very different in the ways we do things. I wake up with a start, with my eyes bright and my feet landing on the floor, ready to go.

My wife wakes up gradually, in stages thinking and sorting out her day, meditating and praying before her feet hit the floor. Interestingly, our first and last boys are like her. Our second boy is like me, he wakes up with a start. The catch is that you must accept your differences, work on your weaknesses and maximize your strength.

When two people come together in a relationship or courtship, there will always be issues. This is largely due to the fact that opposite attracts and of course, different backgrounds.

In marriage, where two people are living together, each with his or her ways of doing things, there will always be issues in relationships and marriage.

There will always be challenges. There will always be something to sort, discuss, solve or resolve. When two people live together, this is expected. It is for this reason that communication becomes important in any relationship and marriage.

Once communication becomes defective, there will be assumptions, and an assumption is the lowest form of knowledge, so naturally, there will be wrong conclusions. The wisdom then is to keep on talking and never keep malice with your, fiancée or friends.

1. There will be problems to SOLVE.

It simply means to find the solution to a problem or question. For example, attitudinal tendencies can become problems. There can be attitudes that have been picked up while your fiancé/ fiancée is growing up. These can form into habits that can become lifestyles.

Once there is a negative attitude, then you simply have a negative lifestyle. What do you do with such? You are to confront and solve, not deny or pretend that they are not there. Never ignore a bad attitude, solve it head-on.

2. There will be quarrels to RESOLVE.

To resolve means to reach a conclusion after a discussion or deliberation. With two different people in a relationship, there will be disagreements. But as Papa Kenneth Hagin said, you can disagree to agree! Resolve every disagreement.

Remember you are to complement each other not compete. Don’t bite or attack each other lest you swallow up yourselves, so warns the scripture. Don’t internalize unnecessarily, or else there will be an explosion one day. Resolve issues quickly, talk over them and avoid strife.

I am not confused. I have the mind of Christ.

Lord, strengthen me in my inner man to do the impossible this year.

True wisdom and real power belong to God; from him we learn how to live, and also what to live for. –Job 12:13 (MSG)

Solve and resolve every issue in your relationship.

Genesis 8-9


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