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The Art Of Listening In Marriage. Women are known to speak more words than men. In fact, studies have shown they speak 10,000 more words than men.

Even the introvertish woman is speaking maybe not out loud but she is talking in her mind. Every woman loves talking because to them it is therapeutic.

When a woman is stressed she likes to talk. To her, talking is for affection and for connection. Unlike men who talk for information.

When women talk about an issue or a problem, they are not talking because of the solution, or to be judged, criticized, or corrected. They talk because they want to feel connected to their spouse, they want companionship and affection. They usually feel better after they have talked.

However, men need to be careful not to muzzle their wives, especially the introverted ones.

When men understand how women see talking, it will help them in having meaningful conversations with them and not kill the conversation with their wives.

It’s not out of place for women to remember things that happened in the past. It’s not because they are revengeful that they bring up issues of the past, it’s because they have a larger capacity to store information.

Whenever they bring up such issues, don’t criticize or judge them, just reassure them and apologize. It’s okay to apologize for issues of the past. 

These are four ways couples should best handle conversations.

1. Don’t Debate
Men, don’t fall to the temptation of debating with your wives when they talk to or with you. Men are hunters and territorial beings. They are warriors and fighters. They enjoy conquest and whatever they do, they do for honor. Men, your wives are not competing with you. It’s just conversational. Be careful of how you use your words. Don’t Debate with her. In the same way, wives should not argue rudely with their husbands.

2. Don’t Dismiss 
Don’t Dismiss her during her conversations. Don’t dismiss what is a reality to her as not being important. Don’t Dismiss her feelings. Don’t trivialize what is serious to her. Empathize with her or just listen to her giving your full attention. Wives, don’t even try to dismiss your husbands. It may not land well with him.

3. Don’t Disagree
Two wrongs never make a right. Since both husband and wife are very different with over fifty differences, you will always have different opinions. Submission is not shutting up her uniqueness and individuality but with her different opinion allowing her husband’s opinion take the lead. Husbands, never kill your wife’s initiatives. You may be killing the conversation in her unknowingly. We can disagree to agree especially knowing that we are better as two different persons. We have two different perspectives to bring to the table for more wins. You must both understand The Art Of Listening In Marriage.

4. Don’t Defend
Sometimes when your wife brings up an issue that she feels hurt about all she needs and all she is hoping to get from you is a simple “I am sorry”. I am sorry does not diminish your leadership role but validates it. If your wife says she’s hurt then that means she is hurt. Don’t defend your actions, don’t sermonize her. Be concerned more about her person and wellbeing than you are about fixing her or putting her in her right place. The same goes for husbands, learn to empathize with your husband because he is really hurt if he can say he is.

Wives usually need reassurance while men need affirmation.

The health of the marriage is more important than any other thing.

Our marriage will thrive. This is The Art Of Listening In Marriage.

I honor the marriage covenant. I respect my marriage. I appreciate our differences and I adjust to making marriage work

Father give me your wisdom to honor my spouse in Jesus name 

So every married man should be gracious to his wife just as he is gracious to himself. And every wife should be tenderly devoted to her husband. Ephesians 5:33 TPT 

Begin to listen to your wife

Eph 5


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