We have probably all been there. You have tried all you know and yet nothing seems to be working.
You have prayed, fasted, and even sowed seeds, and yet, the heaven seems closed.
God seems silent to all your inquiries and you are not getting anything. Your prayers seem to be bouncing off the ceiling.
What could be happening?
Well, a lot of things can be happening why this is so, but this morning, I want to point to singles and couples alike why this could happen.
Let’s take our text below:
Rom 4:21 (KJV) And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform.
The text used “fully” persuaded. That means persuasion can be measured. You can be half persuaded or a quarter persuaded! But the text says he was FULLY persuaded.
Are you fully persuaded concerning what you trust God for or ask Him to do?
Why must you be fully persuaded?
The answer is in below text:
Jas 1:6-8 (KJV) But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. [7] For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. [8] A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
A person who is DOUBTING is like a wave. Verse 7 says that man will not receive anything from God.
Every time things seem not to be working, check your heart if there are doubts concerning God’s promises to you or concerning His instructions.
As you learn to be fully persuaded, you get more results in your walk with God either as a single or couple.
I pray for you this week, God will reach out to you and send you help in every area you need Him in Jesus’ name!
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 KJV)
Here, we see God giving an instruction once marriage is in view. There must be “leaving” and a “cleaving” before any marriage can be successful.
A lot of people leave without cleaving. It won’t work. A lot more try to cleave without leaving. It won’t work either.
It has to be a “leaving” and a “cleaving.”
The word “leaving” is very interesting. There are two particular words or meanings I am interested in. They are the words ‘relinquish” and “commit self”
Pastor, you mean I must relinquish relationship with my parents? It doesn’t mean you disconnect from them or cut off from them, it only talks about where your focus should now be as a married person. After God, the next most important person in your life is your spouse. It doesn’t mean you should not take care of your parents any longer, it just means there should be more emphasis on your spouse.
And then the word “commitment!” Leaving to cleave involves commitment! A person that goes into a relationship or marriage without the willingness to commit to the relationship is just playing around. You need to pray as a single that your path will not cross with such people because they would waste your time, energy and resources. Yorubas call such people “alawin”
It is not God’s concept to have several people on your list that you are dating at a time. If God wanted some form of double dating or polygamy, He would have created Eve, Eva and Evelyn for Adam. Remember Adam still had ribs remaining!
But God created only one person upon whom Adam should focus on. And that is the biblical standard! In that one person is packaged everything you need to be complete. Couples who constantly fight and quarrel are missing out a lot because they are never complete that way. Their agreement would be broken and prayer would be hindered.
Men are the aggressors, ladies are the responders. Men are supposed to woo ladies.
The problem is that most men stop wooing their wives immediately after the wedding, and then wonder why the spark, the laughter, and the joy disappear from their wives’ faces. Well, the reason is obvious. You have to keep doing what you did before the wedding to sustain the marriage after the wedding!
In the beginning, Adam was the aggressor. Eve said nothing and just watched while she was being “toasted”
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. (Genesis 2:23 KJV)
As a single lady, don’t take the lead in asking a man out. It is not scriptural. You will be found, trust God on that. Don’t manipulate and don’t be suggestive so that the guy will not take advantage of you. Men are hunters by nature; don’t tamper with that “hunter” in him! Let him value you by coming after you.
The man who is not ready to “chase” and “woo” is not worth it.
Why is this so important?
Wooing is a lifetime assignment, even for husbands after marriage. If you want to keep the fire of your marriage burning, keep wooing your wife. It is a potent principle! The source of a thing is often time the sustenance of that thing.
Whatever you did to her while you were “toasting” her should not be stopped after marriage. If you wrote letters, keep writing. If you bought flowers, keep buying. If you used to take her out and her eyes would brighten up, you shouldn’t wonder why she has been downcast when you have not taken her out in six months!
Some people are deeply spiritual. So spiritual they probably wanted God to help them propose or answer a proposal. Well, it is not as complicated.
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. (Genesis 2:22 KJV)
What God will do is that He will present you with opportunities and guidance, but He will always allow you to make up your mind. That is why the scriptures says:
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22 KJV)
Whoso findeth… this is talking to men. Men are the ones that do the finding, not the ladies.
Right now, look around you. Your friends, church folks, classmates, relationships around you, those are all the people God has presented to you. You are to prayerfully choose once you are at a marriageable age. You are to be led by God’s Spirit, because when you ask Him, He will lead you and you won’t have to be proposing to several people. God still leads. You don’t need to have a dream or vision or hear a voice, it could just be inner witness or even circumstantial leading.
I am very certain that God’s design for a good relationship is not to start having boyfriends or girlfriends all over the place and be toying with your emotions in experimental relationships. God certainly wants to lead, if you allow Him.
And do you know one thing? God will not lead you wrong!
Now to the couples. If you are already married, presentation opportunities are over. Stay with your spouse and enjoy the wife of your youth, the scripture advises. Focus on God and then on your spouse. That is the secret to a successful marriage.
You can only admire people after your wedding, you should not desire them. In other to enjoy God’s blessings and favour maximally, you will need to focus on your spouse with all your heart! After God, the next person is your spouse!
Take a cue from Adam, it was when Adam slept that God was able to perfect the presentation of his wife. You have been too noisy and too mobile, go and sit down somewhere and let God do His work! Think about it, upon all your sweet mouth and relationship skills, where is the loved one?
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; (Genesis 2:21 KJV)
Learn from Adam, and go to sleep.
The responsibility of God is to cause a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; the responsibility of Adam is to sleep. Adam could say, “No way, I am not sleeping!” But the scripture says he slept!
When he slept, God went to work.
No wonder the scriptures say:
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. (Psalms 46:10 KJV)
Yes, be still. Stop sampling around! How can one brother propose to seven sisters in the same church? Who is leading you? Each time, you keep saying, “God said..” Are you sure God said?
Be still, then you will see God in your relationship or marriage. Ladies, stop being suggestive and stop spending your money to buy things for him. Let God help you by calming down! How I love the Message Translation:
“Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.” (Psalms 46:10 Message)
Yes, step out of the traffic. Focus on God and you will surely see His salvation in your relationship and marriage!
To married men, you are not only to sleep, you are to die! The Scripture admonishes that you are to love your wife as Christ loves the church. How did Christ love the church? He died for her. In the same way, loving your wife appropriately involves dying to your preferences sometimes, dying to your desires sometimes, and prioritizing her needs! May God give husbands understanding!
