Love is multifaceted, and when it’s genuine, it manifests in ways that reflect the heart of God. True love isn’t just about feelings or grand gestures—it’s about consistent, selfless actions that demonstrate care, commitment, and character. Here are five types of lovers who truly embody what it means to love deeply and authentically.
1. The Servant Lover
A servant lover prioritizes the needs of their partner above their own desires. Inspired by Jesus’ example of washing His disciples’ feet (John 13:14-15), this type of lover finds joy in serving and supporting their spouse. Whether it’s cooking a meal, running errands, or simply listening after a long day, they show love through practical acts of kindness. Philippians 2:3-4 captures this mindset perfectly: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.” A servant lover builds trust and creates a foundation of mutual respect.
2. The Faithful Lover
Faithfulness is the hallmark of a lover who truly loves. This person remains steadfast through life’s ups and downs, refusing to give up when challenges arise. Ecclesiastes 9:9 encourages husbands to enjoy life with their wives “all the days of this meaningless life” because faithfulness honors both God and the covenant of marriage. The faithful lover keeps their promises, resists temptation, and chooses loyalty even when circumstances are tough. Their unwavering commitment becomes a safe haven for their partner.
3. The Encouraging Lover
An encouraging lover sees the best in their partner and actively affirms their strengths, dreams, and potential. They understand the power of words to build up or tear down (Proverbs 18:21) and use their speech to inspire confidence and hope. When struggles arise, they remind their spouse of God’s faithfulness and encourage them not to lose heart. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” An encouraging lover empowers their partner to grow spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.
4. The Sacrificial Lover
True love involves sacrifice—a willingness to lay down personal comfort, time, or preferences for the sake of the other. Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—by giving Himself up for her. But sacrificial love isn’t limited to husbands; anyone can embody this principle. A sacrificial lover puts aside selfishness, forgives readily, and invests deeply in their partner’s well-being. Their love reflects the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus, who gave everything for us.
5. The Praying Lover
A praying lover understands the spiritual dimension of love and consistently seeks God on behalf of their relationship. They recognize that human effort alone cannot sustain a marriage or partnership—it requires divine intervention. James 5:16 reminds us, “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” By praying together and individually, the praying lover invites God into every aspect of their union. They intercede during trials, thank God for blessings, and ask for wisdom to navigate challenges. This kind of love is rooted in dependence on God and strengthens the bond between partners.
These five types of lovers—servant, faithful, encouraging, sacrificial, and praying—are united by their commitment to loving well. Each one reflects a facet of God’s unconditional love for us, reminding us that true love is less about romance and more about action.
If you want to be a lover who truly loves, consider which of these qualities you can cultivate further in your relationships. Whether you’re married, dating, or preparing for future relationships, strive to model Christlike love in all you do. After all, love is not just something we feel—it’s something we live out daily, leaving an eternal impact on those around us.
As 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 beautifully describes, love is patient, kind, enduring, and hopeful. May you embrace these qualities and become the kind of lover who reflects God’s heart to the world.
Romance is often seen as the heartbeat of a thriving marriage, but what happens when that spark seems to fade? Many couples find themselves in this place, where daily routines, responsibilities, and life’s pressures overshadow the affection and passion they once shared. If your marriage feels like it lacks romance, take heart. God designed marriage to be a reflection of His love for us (Ephesians 5:25), and with intentionality and effort, you can rekindle the flame.
1. Recognize That Romance Requires Intentionality
Romance doesn’t just happen naturally over time; it requires deliberate effort. Life gets busy, and if we’re not careful, we can drift into autopilot mode, neglecting the small gestures that keep love alive. Song of Solomon 7:10 reminds us of the beauty of pursuing one another: “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.” Take ownership of reigniting romance by planning date nights, leaving sweet notes, or surprising your spouse with thoughtful acts of kindness. Even small efforts can make a big difference.
2. Communicate Openly About Your Needs
A lack of romance often stems from unspoken expectations or unmet needs. Instead of harboring frustration, have an honest yet gentle conversation with your spouse. Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to speak words that build up rather than tear down. Share how you feel without blaming or criticizing, and listen to your partner’s perspective. Healthy communication creates space for understanding and collaboration to restore intimacy.
3. Prioritize Emotional Connection
Physical romance flows out of emotional connection. If there’s distance between you and your spouse emotionally, it will likely affect your physical relationship too. Spend quality time together—without distractions—to reconnect. Ask about their dreams, fears, and joys. Pray together and seek God’s guidance for your marriage. Psalm 133:1 says, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Cultivating emotional closeness lays a foundation for deeper romantic bonds.
4. Be Willing to Sacrifice Comfort Zones
Sometimes, the absence of romance comes from complacency or fear of stepping outside our comfort zones. Maybe you’ve stopped trying new things or expressing vulnerability because it feels awkward or risky. However, growth rarely happens within the confines of comfort. Be willing to initiate change—even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Whether it’s dressing up for dinner, writing a heartfelt letter, or planning a weekend getaway, stepping out of routine can breathe fresh energy into your marriage.
5. Seek God Together
Ultimately, true romance isn’t sustained by human effort alone—it’s fueled by God’s presence in your relationship. When couples prioritize their spiritual connection with Him, they invite His love to flow through their marriage. Malachi 2:15 says, “Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit, they are His.” Pray together, read Scripture, and ask God to renew your hearts toward each other. As you align yourselves with His purposes, He will restore joy and passion to your union.
Final Thought:
The absence of romance doesn’t mean your marriage is broken—it means it’s time to refocus and rebuild. Don’t wait for “someday” or assume things will improve on their own. With intentional action, open communication, and reliance on God, you can revive the romance in your marriage. Remember, marriage is a covenant—a lifelong commitment meant to reflect Christ’s unwavering love for the church. By choosing to nurture romance, you honor both your spouse and the divine design of marriage.
So today, take one step—no matter how small—to show your spouse they are still treasured. Love deeply, pursue passionately, and trust that God will bless your efforts to strengthen the bond you share.
In a culture saturated with images, messages, and expectations that glorify physical attraction and instant gratification, the line between love and lust has become dangerously blurred. Many relationships today are built on fleeting emotions or surface-level desires rather than deep, lasting commitment. But God calls us to something higher—to love others in a way that honors Him and reflects His heart. Let’s explore why “Love me, don’t lust me!” is a powerful declaration for every relationship.
1. Lust Focuses on Self; Love Focuses on Others
Lust is inherently selfish. It says, “What can you do for me? How can you satisfy my desires?” Whether it’s physical attraction, emotional validation, or material gain, lust centers on personal benefit. James 4:3 warns, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
True love, however, shifts the focus away from self and onto the other person. 1 Corinthians 13:5 reminds us that love “is not self-seeking.” When we truly love someone, we seek their best interests, not our own comfort or pleasure. Love asks, “How can I serve you? How can I help you grow closer to God?”
2. Lust is Temporary; Love is Eternal
Lust thrives on momentary feelings—infatuation, chemistry, or excitement. These emotions might feel intoxicating at first, but they fade quickly when faced with challenges or reality. Proverbs 5:3-4 describes this cycle perfectly: “For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword.”
God’s kind of love, by contrast, is eternal. It doesn’t depend on fleeting passions but on steadfast commitment. Song of Solomon 8:7 declares, “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.” True love endures through trials, disagreements, and hardships because it’s rooted in covenant, not convenience.
3. Lust Objectifies; Love Honors
One of the most damaging aspects of lust is that it reduces people to objects meant to fulfill personal desires. This mindset strips individuals of their dignity and worth, treating them as tools for satisfaction rather than image-bearers of God (Genesis 1:27).
Love, on the other hand, honors and respects the personhood of another. Ephesians 5:33 instructs husbands to love their wives and treat them with reverence. True love sees beyond outward appearances and values the soul, character, and spiritual growth of the other person. It cherishes them as Christ cherishes His bride—the church.
4. Lust Destroys; Love Builds Up
The consequences of lust are devastating. It leads to broken relationships, shattered trust, and deep wounds that take years to heal. Jesus warned about the seriousness of lust in Matthew 5:28, saying that indulging in lustful thoughts is akin to committing adultery in the heart. Lust destroys marriages, families, and communities.
Love, however, builds up and restores. 1 Thessalonians 4:9 encourages believers to “love one another,” emphasizing that love fosters unity, peace, and mutual edification. When we choose to love instead of lust, we create an environment where healing, trust, and intimacy can flourish.
5. Lust Is Fleshly; Love Is Spiritual
At its core, lust originates from the flesh—the sinful nature within us that seeks immediate gratification without regard for God’s will. Galatians 5:16 urges us to walk by the Spirit so we won’t gratify the desires of the flesh. Lust separates us from God’s purpose and design for relationships.
Love, however, flows from the Spirit. It aligns with God’s Word and reflects His character. Colossians 3:14 tells us that love is the bond of perfection—it ties everything together in harmony. When we allow the Holy Spirit to guide our hearts, we learn to love others in a way that pleases God and brings glory to His name.
Final Thought:
“Love me, don’t lust me!” isn’t just a plea—it’s a call to live according to God’s design for relationships. Lust may promise temporary fulfillment, but only love offers true joy, connection, and purpose. As you navigate friendships, dating, marriage, or any form of relationship, remember that love honors, protects, and uplifts, while lust devalues, exploits, and destroys. Choose love—the kind of love that mirrors Christ’s sacrifice—and watch how it transforms both you and those around you.
Love isn’t built in a day, like we desire it to. It’s planted, watered, nurtured, and pruned. Four hard tasks. In other words, love actually screams work!
Too many people want the flowers of love—the romance, the connection, the companionship, the communication, the oneness—without committing to the gardening. But gardens don’t bloom because we wish them to. They bloom because someone gets their hands dirty.
In relationships, planting looks like intentionality—choosing someone, showing up consistently, building trust. You have to be intentional about your relationship—right from choosing someone.
Watering looks like kind words, small acts of service, listening, and forgiveness.
Pruning? That’s probably the tough one. It means removing habits, attitudes, and even friendships that threaten the health of your love. Why are you still chatting with your ex and hiding it from your spouse? Why are you still hanging out with him/her without your spouse? That relationship has to go! That’s pruning.
So, gardens need work. Neglect a garden long enough and weeds grow—resentment, silence, pride, selfishness. And soon, something that once had promise becomes overgrown with pain.
If you’re single, ask yourself: Am I becoming someone who knows how to garden love, or just someone who wants to enjoy its beauty?
If you’re married, ask: Have we been nurturing our garden, or have we let weeds grow unchecked?
The best gardens aren’t the ones with the rarest seeds. They’re the ones who were cared for every single day. They had the best gardeners who did the work.
So today, tend your garden.
Pull out a weed. Plant a word. Water with prayer. And trust God for the increase.
It’s not the grand gestures that keep love alive. It’s the little things.
A “How was your day?” asked with real interest.
A hand squeezed during a stressful moment.
A text that says, “I’m thinking about you.”
A back rub when no one asks for it. For couples only!
A sincere “thank you” after dinner. Couples too.
Little things.
But they matter in the equation of love.
While we are waiting for big moments to express our love, the little foxes are eating away the love, night after night.
Because love doesn’t fall apart overnight. It crumbles in the absence of the small, daily signs that say, “You still matter to me.”
And love doesn’t flourish from once-in-a-year surprises—it grows with consistent, quiet care.
Sometimes we wait for the perfect time to express love:
“I’ll take her out next month.”
“I’ll say something nice when things are less tense.”
“I’ll start being intentional when I feel more appreciated.”
But the best time is now.
More so, the grand surprises soon lose their bite/flavour in the absence of the daily small acts of love—acts that say, “I see you,” “I care about you.”
So, intentionally start working on the little, ordinary expressions of love. That may be the fix you need now.
Love is fed by the ordinary. The unplanned. The unseen.
And if you keep showing up in the small ways, the big moments will take care of themselves.
So, don’t wait for love to feel big. Make it small and meaningful—again and again.
That’s how hearts stay close. That’s how relationships last.
