Today I will like to do a father-to-child conversation with you. There are lots of things missing in this generation’s relationship life. As much as I wouldn’t be able to capture everything, I believe that you can get something from what I am about to tell you.
Be sincere, as singles in courtship, are you really in the relationship for the long haul or you are just looking for temporary pleasure? Are you being sincere with him or her? Are you sure you are not just leading her on?
Are you confident to say your motive is not the money you can get? Do you really love him or her? Are you protecting her or exploiting her emotions? Do you have some self-control? Can you delay gratification?
That is what separates the boys from the men and the sisters from ‘sistos!’ Are you sure you are not double-dating? Do you realize that when you are double-dating, you are already given to lying and deceptive spirits?
As a single brother or sister who is not in any relationship, are you preparing yourself? How many books have you read to prepare you? Who is your mentor? Who are you accountable to? Are you serving God with your time? Have you dealt with negative self-esteem issues? Are you really single and complete?
These things are the foundation of a good relationship, but it seems old fashion in today’s relationships.
To my dear singles, who are courting, who are you accountable to? Are you really open and truthful to your mentor?
While a lot of people might get to know that you are in a relationship; it’s ok for them to know about who you are going out with, you are only obligated to the person that you consider as a spiritual authority who you can confide in. He is the person you must see whenever you have issues beyond you. It is wrong to report your fiancée or fiancé all over the place. Be accountable to only one person, two at the most, that both of you respect.
Imagine reporting your partner to one of your friends who is not yet in any relationship. What kind of advice do you think he/she will give you?
As singles in courtship, it is wrong to stay over the night in your fiancé’s house. There is no dignity in that. You went to greet him in another city and then he comes up with the card that he doesn’t know any other person you can stay within the whole city?
That is the more reason you should be cautious of such a person because that is an obvious relationship dysfunction. Do not shoot yourself in the leg.
Avoid compromise because every compromise is a legal invitation to the devil to come and wreck that relationship. When you give the devil an inch, he will take a mile!
Stay clean. Stay chaste! Stay with God and you will laugh last!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be a blessing
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, do a miracle in my life today.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
The concluding part of this interesting story will be the different decisions these couples have to make.
Until you take responsibility and make decisions, whatever situation you were in remains the same or gets worse. To enjoy your marriage and live with love and understanding with your spouse is a decision every couple would have to make at one point in time or another.
The success of your marriage is in your hands and it’s a personal adventure. The success of your marriage is not dependent on past, present, or future status; it is dependent on your personal decision to make it work.
Marriage is not a 50-50 thing, it’s a 100 – 100 thing, where the wife is ready to fulfill her part 100% and the husband ready to fulfill 100%.
Husbands, don’t love your wife because she respects you. You love her because Jesus Christ commands you so. Love is an unconditional commitment that ensures the object of our love is fully satisfied.
The same thing with wives, you don’t submit and respect because he loves you, you submit because you are committed to obeying God’s word.
Having said all these, here are practical decisions these couples have to make.
1. Learn to respect your spouse no matter under whatever circumstances. Honor each other as covenant partners so that you can enjoy God’s blessing.
2. Never compare yourselves with other couples. You are unique as a couple. Walk out your own uniqueness and stick with it.
3. Never allow other people’s opinions to influence the way you treat your spouse especially if the influence is negative.
4. It is just smart to have godly mentors you can talk about your marital issues with. Your mentors give counsel, instructions, and encouragements to avoid unnecessary pitfalls in your marriage.
5. What you don’t appreciate, depreciates. Learn to appreciate each other always, appreciate your little efforts.
6. Don’t take each other’s happiness for granted. Sow into each other’s happiness tank.
7. Learn to have memorable moments together. Create fun and spice it up with laughter as often as possible.
8. Make God and His word your final authority as regards every area of your life. Let God be your common focus.
9. Celebrate things your spouse consider important. Don’t down-talk what they celebrate.
10. Be kind and generous to each other. Give yourselves money, time, attention, and affection.
11. Watch your attitudes, body language, voice tone, and actions. They all matter in building a lasting loving marriage.
12. You cannot be selfish. Love gives and puts the other first.
13. Never try to outsmart your spouse. You are a team, work together as such.
14. Learn to be quick to forgive. Marriage is for two quick forgivers.
15. Learn conflict resolution and communication skills, they are lifelines for your marriage.
God bless our homes and marriages in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will respect my partner at all times
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord Jesus, lead me to the rightful person for me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief – we’re not oblivious to his sly ways! (2Co 2:11 MSG)