Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Top 10 Signs You Need Help Part 1

Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Top 10 Signs You Need Help Part 1

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Top 10 Signs You Need Help

Let’s talk about something that’s really important, but can be tough to acknowledge: when our relationship or marriage needs a little or a lot of help. As a married person, you know that relationships take work. And sometimes, despite our best efforts, things can start to feel off. The connection that once felt so strong starts to fade, and you find yourself wondering if everything is okay.

Well, wonder no more! Today, we’re diving into the top 10 signs that your marriage might need a little TLC.

1. You’re barely talking (and when you do, it’s only to argue)

Communication is key in any relationship, but when the only conversations you’re having are heated ones, that’s a red flag. As Ephesians 4:29 in The Message Translation reminds us, “Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.” Make an effort to have meaningful, respectful conversations with your partner. Set aside dedicated time to talk about things that matter, and make a conscious effort to listen actively and respond thoughtfully.

In a healthy relationship, communication should be open, honest, and respectful. If you find yourself avoiding conversations or only talking to argue, it’s time to reassess your communication style. Ask yourself: Are we only talking about surface-level issues, or are we diving deeper into our thoughts, feelings, and desires? Are we actively listening to each other, or are we just waiting for the other person to finish speaking so we can respond?

2. You feel more like roommates than partners

This is another one of Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Remember when you used to be each other’s rock? If you’re feeling more like cohabitants than soulmates, something’s amiss. As singles in courtship, you are no longer excited or looking forward to your spouse! That is a red flag! As couples, you are emotional disenfranchised from your partner, well, that is a red flag! What do you do? Make time for regular date nights and activities that bring you closer together. Deliberately seek to invest in your relationship or reach out for professional help. On Kisses and Huggs Club, we have several courses designed to rekindle your love as couples!

It’s essential to prioritize quality time together, doing things that bring you joy and closeness. This can be as simple as cooking dinner together, going for a walk, or watching a movie. The key is to make an effort to reconnect and strengthen your bond. Ask yourself: When was the last time we did something fun together? When did we last have a meaningful conversation about our hopes and dreams?

3. Intimacy is a distant memory

Here is another on of This is another one of Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Physical and emotional intimacy are essential in a healthy marriage. If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner in this way, it’s time to address it. As 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 reminds us, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” The frequency of sex can determine the health of your marriage! Meanwhile, the constancy of sex as singles and unmarried can signal a terrible error in that relationship.

Intimacy is about more than just physical closeness; it’s about emotional connection and vulnerability. If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, it’s essential to address the issue head-on. This might involve having an open and honest conversation about your desires, needs, and boundaries. Ask yourself: When was the last time we had a meaningful, intimate conversation about our desires and needs? Are we prioritizing our emotional and physical connection?

4. You’re feeling resentful or bitter

Unresolved issues can lead to some serious resentment. If you’re feeling like you’re harboring anger or frustration towards your partner, it’s time to talk things through. As James 1:19-20 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” Don’t try to bury resentments, it will only end up becoming like magma within the crust of the earth. One day, there will be volcanic eruption from the bitterness stored within, and that would not always be a pleasant time.

Resentment can build up over time, causing resentment and anger to simmer just below the surface. It’s essential to address these feelings before they boil over. Make an effort to listen to your partner’s perspective, and be willing to apologize and forgive. Ask yourself: What am I holding onto? What do I need to let go of? What do I need to communicate to my partner?

5. You’re not fighting fairly (or at all)

This is another one of This is another one of Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but when you’re not addressing issues or are fighting dirty, it’s a problem. As Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words stir up wrath.” Learn to communicate effectively and respectfully, even in the heat of the moment. Do not demonize your partner. Face the issue, not your partner. Learn to separate the person from the action so that you won’t end up hurting each other.

When conflicts arise, it’s essential to address them in a healthy and constructive way. This means avoiding blame, criticism, and personal attacks. Instead, focus on the issue at hand and work together to find a solution. Make an effort to listen actively, remain calm, and communicate your thoughts and feelings clearly.

Ask yourself: Am I addressing issues as they arise, or am I letting them simmer beneath the surface? Am I fighting fairly, or am I using underhanded tactics to “win” the argument? Am I willing to listen to my partner’s perspective and work together to find a solution?

Remember, relationships take work, and conflicts are an inevitable part of the journey. By learning to communicate effectively, address issues as they arise, and fight fairly, you can build a stronger, healthier relationship that will last a lifetime.




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The Voice and Melody Of Love 

The Voice and Melody Of Love 

Reading Time: 3 minutes

The Voice and Melody Of Love 

My partner and I were college sweethearts. I was twenty-four, and she was twenty-one. There’s something special about her voice, the way it sticks in my head.

And it’s the same with her. She could recognize my voice out of many others.

The voice of your beloved! There’s always something captivating about it! If your beloved isn’t speaking, something’s off. 

Song of Solomon 2:10 says, My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. 

In the Message Translation of Song of Solomon 2:10, it says, My lover has arrived and he’s speaking to me! Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover—come to me!

You see, the evidence of their presence is in their voice, filling the room with rich tones. Their voice is the Voice and Melody Of Love.

If you truly want to know if your beloved has “arrived” with you, their voice will be active. If your beloved has opened their heart, and you’re truly on the same page, their voice won’t be silent. If you haven’t heard from your beloved in weeks, they haven’t arrived! You’re not on the same page!

If they’re always busy, their voice scarce, something’s amiss. When couples stop communicating due to petty arguments and immaturity, the relationship is in trouble. After silence comes assumptions, the weakest form of understanding. There is something about The Voice and Melody Of Love 

Are you truly in love? We’ll know by the last time you spoke. We’ll know if you’re talking regularly. We’ll know if your conversations lack depth or sincerity. We’ll know if love is one-sided, with only one person making efforts!

If your partner finds your voice annoying, that’s not love! Or maybe you’re in love with someone who doesn’t love you back… that can be soul-crushing.

But beyond all this, there’s a voice that gives power to your partner’s voice. There’s the romantic voice and the spiritual voice. The romantic relies on the spiritual.

Both are good, but one is earthly, the other divine. And the divine always surpasses the earthly. This is the voice of God; if your beloved has heard Him in the morning, their voice won’t be silent towards you that day.

God’s voice is powerful, breaking barriers and bringing clarity. His voice will break the silence trying to take over your relationship. 

Have you heard Him today? Have you The Voice and Melody Of Love 

That’s when you can truly speak as a devoted lover to your beloved, with your words imbued with grace!

No wonder it’s written in Colossians 4:6 (KJV), “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer every person.”

This reality unfolds when humanity aligns with divinity. When you’ve spent time with the Lord, your words won’t fail you, especially when communicating with your loved one!

How have your conversations been lately?

Does the sound of their voice still bring joy to your heart? The Voice and Melody Of Love.

Do you seek the voice of your creator at the break of dawn?

This is what sustains your romantic journey, not just in the right direction, but with the right person.

This is what keeps marriages and households intact. Without that divine guidance, all efforts might go in vain.

Allow me to conclude with Psalm 127:1 (KJV), “Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the LORD guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.”

You won’t waste your time.

Your efforts won’t be fruitless.

You won’t fall for someone who won’t reciprocate your love.

You won’t build mere shelters!

As Psalm 127:1 (MSG) puts it, “If GOD doesn’t build the house, the builders only build shacks…”




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The Mystery About Intimacy Part 1 – Rev. Funke Felix-Adejumo

The Mystery About Intimacy Part 1 – Rev. Funke Felix-Adejumo

Reading Time: 2 minutes

The Mystery About Intimacy Part 1 – Rev. Funke Felix-Adejumo

Have you ever wondered about the secrets and mysteries surrounding intimacy? Get ready to discover an enlightening perspective that will open your eyes and help you understand the true purpose of intimacy. In this article, we will delve into the teachings of Reverend Funke Felix-Adejumo and explore the deeper aspects of this fascinating topic.

Introduction. 

Welcome to a fascinating journey into the mysteries of intimacy! Yes, this topic is often avoided or superficially addressed, but today we’re going beyond appearances to discover the depth and richness hidden behind this divine gift.

Reverend Funke Felix-Adejumo, a powerful and respected voice in the body of Christ will guide us through this delicate yet crucial topic. Prepare for your eyes to be opened to a new understanding of intimacy and how it can enrich your life in ways you’ve never imagined before.

The Divine Purpose of Intimacy.

According to Reverend Funke, intimacy is not just a physical act but a profound expression of the union between two souls. God, in His infinite wisdom, created intimacy as a gift to humanity but with a much higher purpose than mere pleasure.

Intimacy and Connection.
Intimacy is the means through which two individuals can connect on a deeper level, strengthening the emotional and spiritual bonds that unite them. It is a way to express love, trust, and vulnerability.

Procreation.
While intimacy can be a source of pleasure, its primary purpose is procreation. God designed intimacy so that humans can bring new life into the world and fulfill their calling to be fruitful and multiply.

Marital Unity.
Intimacy should be reserved for the context of marriage, where two individuals come together in a sacred covenant before God. It is within this framework that intimacy achieves its fullest meaning and potential.

Holiness and Purity.
Intimacy is not something dirty or sinful but an expression of the holiness and purity that God desires for His children. When practiced according to divine principles, intimacy becomes a blessing and a reflection of God’s glory.

We will go deeper tomorrow and continue with Part 2




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Debunking Common Marriage Myths and Misconceptions

Debunking Common Marriage Myths and Misconceptions

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Debunking Common Marriage Myths and Misconceptions


Marriage is a beautiful journey that brings two individuals together in love, commitment, and companionship. However, it’s not strange for various myths and misconceptions to obscure people’s perceptions of what a successful marriage entails. In this devotional, we will debunk some of the most prevalent marriage myths and shed light on the realities of married life.

  1. Myth: We will be happy forever
    Many individuals grow up with the false notion that marriage guarantees a lifetime of bliss, happiness, and endless enjoyment. While marriage can indeed bring joy, it’s important to note that challenges and ups and downs are also a part of the journey. Realistic expectations and effective communication are vital in navigating the complexities of married life. Marriage only works for those who work it! 
  1. Myth: Once we love ourselves, we are good!
    Love is undoubtedly important in a marriage, but it’s not the only ingredient for a thriving partnership. Marriage requires commitment, compromise, mutual respect, and ongoing effort from both partners. It requires a lot of prayers and patience! Synergizing your values, trust, and understanding is essential for lasting marital success.
  1. Myth: Incessant Quarrels translate to a failed marriage 
    The reality is that conflict is not necessarily a negative aspect of a marriage. Healthy disagreements can lead to growth, understanding, and deeper emotional connections. It’s how couples handle and resolve conflicts that truly matters. When a couple understands themselves, and is sacrificial, they will stay together for long and have a successful marriage.
  2. Myth: Marriage will make me to be fulfilled
    A common misconception is that marriage will fill the emptiness in our lives and make us whole. While marriage can bring happiness and fulfillment, it’s important to have a sense of self-worth, good self-esteem, personal goals, and interests outside the relationship. Each partner should maintain their individuality while nurturing marital unity.
  3. Myth: Marriage is easy once you are in love
    Marriage requires continuous effort, adjustment, and adaptability. It’s unrealistic to expect a smooth sailing journey without any challenges. Couples should be prepared to navigate through life puzzles and be willing to grow together, learning from each other’s strengths and weaknesses. The commitment to work through difficulties can lead to a deeper and more resilient relationship.

Gen 2:18 (AMPC+) Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.

Conclusion:
By debunking these marriage myths and misconceptions, we can approach married life with a more realistic and pragmatic position. Understanding that marriage requires effort, compromise, and acceptance of imperfections can lead to a more fulfilling and harmonious partnership. 

Remember, a successful marriage is built on love, respect, communication, and synergy from the couple.

I hope this devotional helps you in addressing marriage myths and enlightening your readers. If you need any further assistance or have any specific requests, feel free to let me know in the comment section!




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Knowing Who To Marry

Knowing Who To Marry

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Knowing Who To Marry

What is that one thing that is also important in considering who to marry? His faith is important.

Mostly because his faith will influence yours.

It is his faith in God, that will cause him to have the fear of God.

If he has the fear of God, he will never cheat on you.

He would rather protect you and care for you.

He would have the wisdom to live with you and raise a godly family because the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.

Never ever get married to a man who has no regard for God.

It would be the greatest mistake ever!

Well, no matter how much you love him, no matter how much preparation you have made, no matter how much has been spent, if he does not have a relationship with God, pick your bags and bolt!

Run for your life.

Preserve your destiny with your choice.

2Co 6:14-15 (MSG)  
Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark?  [15]  Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands?



Knowing Who To Marry

There is no greater partnership than marriage.

Destinies are wedged together.

Souls become tied together.

Afflictions are intertwined and shared.
 
Blessings are shared as well.

In marriage, there is a “knowing” at the highest level as love is consummated.

The husband becomes the cover and the head of the family.

God forbids that the head is sick, for he would only transfer the sickness.

He can only give what he has.

God forbid that the head is foolish, he would only disseminate the foolishness and no more.

He would make foolish decisions and affect the wife and the children, and sometimes, the children’s children!

The mouth of the foolish poureth out foolishness.

Pro 15:2 (KJV)  
The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.


Take a look at the Message Translation:

Pro 15:2 (MSG)  
Knowledge flows like spring water from the wise; fools are leaky faucets, dripping nonsense.


May you not have a leaky faucet of a head, dripping nonsense over your destiny!

Knowing Who To Marry

I tell you, as a counselor, that can be frustrating!

How beautiful is it, to have a praying man over your life, to have a man who is faithful to you, who will never cheat on you, not because he doesn’t feel like it but because he fears God!

Go for a man who fears God. This is why pre-marital counseling is important

Go for a God lover!

Go for a God-chaser!

It would put your mind at rest.

You wouldn’t need to add the unrest, suspicion, insecurity, disagreements, and bickering that goes with knowing your spouse is cheating on you to your daily pressures.

Go for peace of mind.

If you are already married and have issues, please don’t give up too quickly. Pray and intercede! Go for therapy as well! Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate until it becomes too late!

Divorce is not always God’s direction unless life is threatened.

Take time to intercede and trust God for intervention and you will surely see the salvation of the Lord in Jesus name!
 
May God grant more understanding!




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