It is understandable when enemies wound you. It is somehow discernible when you have wounds and bandages arising from a battlefront with an opposing side!
But the most significant wounds in our hearts are incidentally sustained by friends and lovers.
We have ex-friends, ex-besties, ex-lovers and sometimes ex-spouses. Sometimes the resulting effect is single motherhood, but how come we don’t hear of single fathers?
This leaves the women folk hurt most of the time because they deal more with hurts, bitterness, and agony of heart arising from disappointments in their quest for love.
Some married couples are not exempt from hurts and bitterness, because marriage can become that place where you are constantly hurt, especially when you want your spouse in a certain way and yet you are not achieving that.
Dealing With Love’s Wounds and Hurts
Zechariah 13:6 (KJV) And one shall say unto him, What are these wounds in thine hands? Then he shall answer, Those with which I was wounded in the house of my friends.
Wounds can be sustained by friends, lovers, and spouses.
That is the reality!
However, you cannot stay hurt and wounded all your life! You have to learn to forgive and let go!
Do you realize that it is easier for the offender to let go? Of course, God’s justice system will deal with such a person. However, the offended find it challenging to move on as they struggle in the mud and mire of bitterness!
This is why it often looks like you are hurt and yet things have really gone slow and complicated. It’s because of bitterness of heart!
Dealing With Love’s Wounds and Hurts
Proverbs 14:30 (AMPC+) A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones.
Envy, jealousy, and wrath are the cousins of bitterness. The scriptures say they can cause rottenness in the bones.
It can literally cause sicknesses and diseases!
You don’t want to stay on that page!
The good news is that God heals!
Psalms 147:3 (KJV) He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
That is soothing! He will not only heal your broken heart, He will bind up your wounds!
Why don’t you go to Him this morning? He is waiting to hear and attend to you!
Psalms 147:3 (MSG) He heals the heartbroken and bandages their wounds.
I have often heard that those we love hurt us deeper than anyone else, especially our spouse. I had felt it can’t be that bad.
This world is full of hurtful people. I think the hurt is deeper when in marriage you hurt yourselves and keep on hunting yourselves unless you make up your mind not to hurt.
Hurt is a decision it is not based on your feeling. You have to make a conscious effort and decision against hurt.
Some people have been hurt for most years of their life.
That is what the devil wants. He is busy having a nice time stealing joy, peace, life, compassion, unity, and love from families.
The point is, people, your spouse, and those you hold dear to you will not stop hurting you but you have to make up your mind you won’t allow the hurt to get at you.
Hurtful words are spoken like the cutting of the sword especially if your spouse is choleric. You cannot prevent people from misunderstanding you, people judging you falsely, lying about you, etc.
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. –Proverbs 12:18 KJV
From this scripture, you can pray for your spouse, pray that their tongues become the tongue of the wise that brings healing.
Hurt is like drinking poison and hoping your neighbour dies.
That’s not going to happen. Hurts make you bitter. You can be bitter all your life if care is not taken. You will just see that sixty years of your life are gone without achieving much because of hurt and bitterness.
Let’s receive grace from the Lord. Jesus was hated, misunderstood, lied against, misjudged, and criticized, yet none of this affected him.
He choose to be immune to hurt. He kept His vision before His eyes. He choose between being powerful or being pitiful. He couldn’t possibly have died for humanity if He hated humanity. If he didn’t forgive on time He couldn’t go to the cross.
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. –Luke 10:19 (KJV)
Jesus knew we will be faced with hurt and he made provision for it. We have to walk in our authority over hurts.
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. –Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
You have to take charge of your emotions. Not even your feelings should be strong enough to stop you from fulfilling your purpose. You are only answerable to one; the one who died on the cross for you.
When you come face to face with Him on judgment day, you will have no excuse to offer. Jesus passed through the same and was victorious. He overcame and gave you the victory.
He gave the blood of Jesus, the Word, the shield of faith, communion, etc.
You have to take the shield of faith which is the Word of God. Anytime words are spoken to you that are hurtful, lies, remind yourself and confess out loud and use it against the wile of the enemy.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
Remember, to protect yourself against hurt and every negative emotion. Protect yourself God’s way. There are negative ways of dealing with hurts. I will talk about that later.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I declare concerning my life and marriage, I have victory, the enemy has lost the battle over my life and mind. I refuse to stay in hurt and unforgiveness, Jesus is glorified.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name of Jesus every fiery dart of the evil one is destroyed in my life and marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Forgive and let go of every hurt today
How To Make Progress In Your Marriage. Your past is your past because it happened in your ‘yesterday’. That yesterday could be 20 years, 30 days, 12 years and it could be a day ago. It becomes our past the moment we consciously put it behind us.
The past before our marriage too has to be dealt with in this manner. These include past relationships, past habits, those friends you used to have late night hang out with. Any thing that you know will be detrimental to your new status as a married man or woman.
The pains, hurts, challenges, shortcomings and weights of yesterday must be laid at the feet of the cross of Jesus. If we must experience the marriage that God has in mind for us.
Some people are holding so many people in unforgiveness. Some wives are holding so many people in their minds. Even people who they have no business holding in unforgiveness. Some are unfruitful because of holding unto the past.
In your marriage, you have to let the past go. The past is too heavy a weight to carry with your today. Your spouse will offend you not on purpose most of the time. But the onus is on you to let go of the past.
We must learn to embrace the truth of how to let go of the past like the prodigal son did.
And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! – Luk 15:17
The Bible says, he came to himself. We must come to ourselves every now and then about our past hurts and offense.
And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. – Luk 15:20
He arose, he took step in dealing with his past. He didn’t leave it as an intent, he did something, he took action.
Until you take action to deal with your past, don’t expect God to grant you the freedom He has in store for only those who let go of the past.
But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: – Luk 15:22
May God help us to let go of our past in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My past does not slow me down
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, heal me from my past
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
There are some of us that hold our parents in derision. You are wrong to do that.
But my parents are not born-again!
You see, the scripture never says you should honour your born-again parents!
He said you should honour your parents! That is how to last on the planet earth! So that your days will be long!
In fact, a particular translation says, honour your parents so that God can say well done to you!
Some of you are having delays in marriage because you are walking in disobedience. If your parents have ever said wrong words to you because you were at loggerheads with them, go back to them and apologize.
Humble yourself, so that you won’t slow yourself down. Dishonouring your parents and refusing to forgive them can cost you your life! Read your Bible very well.
Go back to them, buy a gift, prostrate or kneel down and ask them to bless you! That act alone will be better off than ninety days of fasting and prayers, which might not yield results because of unforgiving spirit.
Why waste your time praying? Isn’t that a religious spirit at work?
Married couples, be quick to forgive each other! Don’t allow strife in your family. Forgive your spouse. You will do yourself a lot of good if you do that. If you don’t forgive him or her, your prayers will be hindered. Don’t block God’s blessings over you at this time.
If you have been in prolonged hurt and strife, it is dangerous. End it today and allow God’s blessing to flow in your family. Leave your ego behind and obey God. Take your wife out, buy her a gift and apologize!
Go to your husband and kneel down and ask for forgiveness. It is not old fashioned; it is scripture!
Let go and let God! Let it be a beginning of a new day for you and yours! Let go of everybody you are holding in your mind. Burn your little black book of offences and stop recording hurts.
Delete them not only from your memory but from recycle bin as well. Guard your heart with all diligence for out of them are the issues of life.
May God help you and give you the strength to forgive all you need to forgive in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to forgive all who have hurt me
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the grace to forgive all who have hurt you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19 ESV)
Now as you read this, I really want you to check yourself out. Are you holding a few people in your heart without forgiving them? Well, it could slow you down!
It could cause delays in marriages, it could cause relationships not to work out, and other havocs can be wrecked.
That’s why I tell people; don’t start another relationship immediately after one has just ended. Give yourself a break, at least, six months.
Why?
When you rush into another relationship with hurts, wounds, bitterness, and an unforgiving spirit, you will end up frustrating that other person and the relationship will still not work out. You cannot establish a relationship on a foundation of hurts, wounds, and bitterness!
When you stay in unforgiving mode, it’s like moving away from God’s protective arm into the terrain of the devil. A lot of us fast and pray fervently, but hear me and hear me well, if you don’t forgive, you will never be able to enjoy the fullness of God’s blessings.
I come to you this morning, by the Spirit of God and by His grace which He has endowed me with and I speak into your life and destiny, ‘Forgive!’
Yes, I know you are hurt! Yes, I know you were jilted. Yes, I know you were raped. Yes, I know you were defrauded. Yes, I know you were abandoned when it is just a few days to the wedding. Yes, I know there has been a divorce. Yes, I know you were cheated. Yes, I know you were wrongfully accused. Yes, I know your spouse cheated on you and manipulated you…and the list goes on.
But you cannot afford some bitterness. It is too expensive for you! You need God now, don’t you?
You yourself are not perfect, are you?
The only way God can overlook, forgive and forget your own imperfections and cause His mercy to avail for you is when you forgive that person.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to forgive all who have hurt me
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the grace to forgive all who have hurt you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19 ESV)
