Sometimes in relationships, we find ourselves giving a lot of love and effort and never getting it back. You call, you text, you make plans, but the other person doesn’t even run to meet you halfway. It can be not very encouraging and even make you question your own worth. But know this that your value is not based on someone else’s feelings or actions. A one-sided love doesn’t mean you’re wrong; it just means they aren’t ready or able to give the same energy right now.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23
Signs you might be in a one-sided relationship:
You’re always the one reaching out.
They rarely prioritize spending time with you.
Their words don’t match their actions.
You feel emotionally drained but keep hoping things will change.
Reflect on these questions:
Am I depending on their love to feel good about myself?
Have I ignored warning signs because I wanted the relationship to work?
How can I make sure I’m loving in a healthy way without needing something back?
In conclusion
God cares about your heart. Investing in someone who does not reciprocate can drain your energy and distract you from God’s plan for your life. One-sided love is often a signal to evaluate the relationship honestly and protect your emotional and spiritual health.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Yesterday, we considered why love feels heavy. If you missed yesterday’s article, you can read it HERE.
Today, we will take a step further to look at practical things to do when love feels heavy.
1. Don’t fake peace. Be honest with God.
You don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not. God already knows how you feel. Share with Him where it hurts and what’s wearing you out. There’s no healing in pretending.
2. Pause, don’t panic.
Feeling pressure doesn’t always mean there’s something wrong with your relationship. Take a moment to reflect. What’s really bothering you? Is it something they did? An unresolved issue within yourself? Or maybe it’s the fear of losing control? Slow down and pinpoint what’s really going on before you misinterpret it.
3. Anchor your peace in God, not the relationship.
You love them, but they aren’t your source of happiness. If your mood hinges on how they treat you, you’ll always feel unstable. You weren’t designed to base your emotional balance on another person. Only God can carry that weight.
4. Ask God for wisdom before you act.
Not knowing what to say or do next is perfectly fine. When you’re confused, take it to God. Ask Him, “Lord, what’s the right thing to do here? Help me respond rather than react.” He promised to provide wisdom to those who seek it (James 1:5). Lean on that promise.
Conclusion
The pressure you’re feeling right now doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed or that you’re messing it all up. It might just mean that you’re being refined and that God is teaching you how to love better. You could very well be growing out of emotional immaturity. You’re learning to stay grounded even when your partner isn’t perfect.
So you might feel pressed, but you’re not crushed. Because God isn’t just watching your relationship; He’s in it with you. Supporting you, guiding you, helping you grow, and loving you first so that you can love well.
Let’s Talk About Heartbreak Okay, let’s be real—heartbreak sucks. Whether you’re freshly single or trying to bounce back from that crushing breakup, it can feel like your world’s been flipped upside down. It’s not just the sad music playlists and the memes that make you say, “Same.” The emotional rollercoaster is real.
Heartbreak isn’t just sadness—it’s like going through all the stages of grief. One minute, you’re in denial (“This can’t be happening to me!”), the next you’re rage-texting your best friend about your ex’s audacity, and somewhere along the way, you’re bargaining (“Maybe if I just…”). By the time you hit that depression stage, it can feel like love is canceled—forever. But don’t worry, it’s not. The last stage, acceptance, is when you start piecing yourself back together.
But here’s the thing: heartbreak can mess with your self-esteem big time. It can make you doubt your worth, feel like you’re unlovable, and put up walls to protect yourself from getting hurt again. Sound familiar? Yeah, we’ve all been there. So how do you bounce back and actually get ready for love again?
Healing: The Glow-Up You Need
Before we talk about jumping into a new relationship, let’s get one thing straight—you need to heal first. Period. Think of it like when your phone battery dies, and you gotta charge it before it works again. That’s you right now.
Here’s the deal: healing doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. Taking time to heal is the best way to avoid the whole rebound drama. You know the drill—date yourself first. Here’s how:
Self-care is your new BFF: Meditation, journaling, or even picking up a new hobby can be a game-changer. Need a laugh? Watch some dog videos. Need some clarity? Get into mindfulness or hit the gym. Your mental health matters.
Therapy is cool: Talking to someone who’s not emotionally involved can help you work through that post-breakup mess in your head. A therapist can help you navigate those confusing feelings and give you the tools to crush your personal growth game.
Reclaim your identity: Whether it’s getting back into painting, hiking, or catching up on that Netflix show you ditched for “date nights,” do things that you love. It’s time to remind yourself that you’re a whole person, even without a partner.
Think of this phase as a personal glow-up. You’re growing, healing, and getting stronger. The more you heal, the better you’ll feel about opening up to love again—trust me.
Ready to Love Again? Here’s How You Know
So, how do you know you’re ready to swipe right on love again? It’s all about emotional readiness. If you’ve started seeing the light at the end of the heartbreak tunnel and aren’t feeling weighed down by your ex’s ghost, congrats—you’re on the right track.
Here’s what to look for:
You feel hopeful about love: If you’re no longer rolling your eyes at every cute couple on TikTok and you actually want to date again, that’s a good sign.
You trust again (even just a little): After a breakup, trust is a tough one. But if you’re ready to open up and let someone in, it shows you’ve healed enough to take that risk again. FYI, trusting again doesn’t mean pretending your past never happened—it just means you’re not letting it stop you.
You’ve got your confidence back: You’re not out here looking for someone to complete you—you know your worth. When you feel confident in who you are and what you deserve, that’s when you’ll attract healthy relationships.
But hey, don’t rush it! Moving too fast can land you in a cycle of heartbreak. Patience, grasshopper. Love will come, and when it does, it’ll be worth the wait.
New Relationship? Here’s How to Do It Right
So you’ve healed, and you’re ready to dip your toes back into the dating pool. First off, good for you! Second, let’s make sure you don’t dive headfirst into more drama.
Here’s your cheat sheet for success in a new relationship:
Communication is key: Listen, no one is a mind reader. Speak up about your feelings, your needs, and your boundaries. Being open and honest builds trust and keeps misunderstandings in check.
Set healthy boundaries: Your emotional well-being comes first, always. Know what you need in a relationship, and be clear about it. Healthy boundaries make sure both you and your new boo are on the same page.
Leave the past in the past: It’s cool to share your experiences but don’t let your last relationship dictate this one. Focus on the present and building something new with your partner.
One more thing—make sure your new relationship is built on more than just chemistry. Friendship, trust, and respect are what’ll make it last. Laugh together, grow together, and most importantly, be kind to each other. Vulnerability is scary, but it’s also what makes love so beautiful.
Final Thoughts: Ready to Give Love Another Go?
Heartbreak isn’t the end—it’s just a plot twist. You’ve got this. Whether you’re still healing or already thinking about jumping into something new, the key is to take your time and focus on you first. So, are you ready to love again?
