When will my relationship stop feeling like a part-time job with no pay?
We say it jokingly… but sometimes, it’s a real cry. A cry for clarity. For companionship. For calm in the chaos that love sometimes brings. For a more blissful marriage.
But let’s be honest—half the time when we pray “God when?”, what we mean is “God hurry!”
Because we don’t just want love—we want it now. Packaged and perfect, especially for the gram.
But here’s the twist: God is not on your timeline. He’s on your transformation.
And while you’re watching everyone else get engaged, post anniversary photos or of romantic gestures by their spouses, or buy their third matching pyjamas set, God is saying,
“Let Me work on your heart before I give it to someone else.”
Or
“Let Me work on your heart first for your spouse.”
Love is beautiful… but it’s also heavy.
It will test your patience, expose your pride, and stretch your capacity to forgive.
And if you’re not ready, you’ll fumble a blessing that was meant to last a lifetime.
And if you are already married, it could be that you are also part of the problem! You may just never know. So, allow God work on your heart.
So yes, pray about love. Long for it. Prepare for it.
But don’t waste your waiting. Don’t idolise what you don’t understand.
And please—stop comparing your journey to someone else’s highlight reel.
God’s timing is perfect.
And when it’s your turn, you won’t have to beg, chase, or shrink to fit.
It’ll be clear. It’ll be God.
And it’ll be worth the wait.
And when God works perfectly on your heart, dear married one, your marriage will get more blissful. Your spouse will also come around!
Have you ever felt so sure about something, like deep down, you just knew it was right, and you had that roof-lifting assurance… only for it to turn out completely wrong? I mean wrong, the kind that leaves you in a mess you never saw coming?
Yup, that’s exactly what David meant when he wrote, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” (Proverbs 14:12)
Take it from a king who was also a prophet. David fought countless battles, led a nation, wrote songs inspired by the Holy Spirit, and even prophesied about Jesus in the Psalms. If anyone seemed to have things figured out, it was him. Yet, he still messed up—big time.
This tells us something:
It speaks to the fallibility of man, the fickleness of our desires, and the limits of our knowledge.
If you haven’t realized it yet, you can’t figure out life all by yourself.
As you journey through adulthood, you’ve probably already seen that life isn’t always rosy, and the systems of this world aren’t exactly set up for you to win.
So, how do you expect to navigate life-altering decisions—like choosing a life partner, accepting a job offer, or even deciding where to live—on your own? Especially knowing that you can feel 100% sure right now, and then find out you were completely wrong the next moment?
Why not just hand it all over to God—the One who knows the end from the beginning?
The God who formed you, who understands your path better than you ever could, and who gave you the very life you’re trying to figure out.
Let Him lead. Trust His wisdom above your feelings. You’ll save yourself from a lot of unnecessary heartache.
When you surrender your choices to God, you’re not giving up control—you’re gaining divine direction.
You’re partnering with the One who sees beyond time, who knows where each road leads, and who is deeply invested in your success and wholeness.
Don’t just pray for God to bless your plans—ask Him what the plan should be.
Invite Him into your decision-making. Wait for His peace. Lean into His Word. Surround yourself with godly counsel. And when He speaks, trust that He knows better—even when it doesn’t make immediate sense.
Because life becomes a lot more peaceful and purposeful when you let the all-knowing take the lead by trusting God.
God’s will for man has always been rooted in purpose, growth, and dominion. In the very beginning, He declared His intent in Genesis 1:28: “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion…” This wasn’t just a suggestion. It was a divine mandate to increase, grow, and take charge.
God is not interested in giving us physical increase at the expense of our souls. His desire is that our growth begins from the inside out. “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth” (3 John 1:2). Before we ask for blessings, breakthroughs, or expansion, God wants our souls to mature in Him.
Many times, delays in certain areas of our lives are not because we aren’t praying or working hard. It’s not that God is deaf to our cries. Sometimes, it’s simply because our inner man is not yet ready to steward the increase we are asking for. God, in His mercy, withholds what could destroy us.
Apostle Paul captures this in 1 Corinthians 3:6-7: “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.” Increase is a process. Planting must take place. Watering must follow. Then, God releases growth. When there is a lack of spiritual preparation, increase can become a burden rather than a blessing.
Galatians 4:1 says: “As long as the heir is a child, he differeth nothing from a servant, though he be lord of all.” God doesn’t release dominion to spiritual infants. He waits for sons and daughters who are ready to grow in wisdom, faith, and intimacy with Him.
So, what seed are you planting today? What steps are you taking to grow spiritually? Are you preparing your soul for the increase God desires to bring?
I charge you to seek God’s will first, because when the soul prospers, increase follows.
These tips are applicable not only in the context of relationships and marriage but also in business, careers, and everyday life.
1. Pray First, Not Last
Many people decide who they want and then ask God for God’s blessings. They get emotionally attached first, then pray later, hoping for a divine confirmation that matches their feelings.
When your heart is deeply invested, it’s hard to hear God clearly. Instead of seeking God’s will, you start convincing yourself that what you want is what He wants. At that point, it’s easy to mistake His permissive will (what He allows because of your insistence) for His perfect will (what He truly desires for you).
That’s why discernment begins before emotions get involved. Instead of saying, “God, I really like this person; please make it work,” the prayer should be, “Lord, is this your best for me? Show me what I can’t see.”
God is not silent; He will give you an answer, but God won’t force His will on you. If you truly want His best, seek Him first, not after your heart is already entangled. A relationship led by emotions alone may feel right at the moment, but only God’s perfect will brings lasting peace and purpose.
2. Don’t Ignore Red Flags
Love isn’t meant to blind you. If you notice things like dishonesty, emotional instability, lack of accountability, or controlling behavior, don’t overlook them. What seems small now will only grow bigger in marriage. God’s best will never require you to ignore important issues just to “make it work.”
“The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.” (Proverbs 22:3)
3. Listen to Wise Counsel
Sometimes, the people around us can see things we’re too emotionally invested to notice. If your trusted, godly friends, mentors, or family members have serious concerns about your relationship, don’t dismiss them. God often uses wise counsel to confirm His direction.
“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)
4. Give It Time
If something is truly from God, time will reveal it. You don’t have to force, chase, or manipulate anything. Patience allows you to observe a person’s true character and consistency before making a lifelong commitment. If it’s right, time will only make it clearer.
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” (Psalm 37:7)
One of the hardest things is waiting when you feel ready for love. But remember, God’s best is worth the wait. Instead of settling for what’s available, trust that He knows what you need and when you need it. A rushed decision may bring short-term happiness, but God’s best brings long-term fulfillment.
How do you know who is truly right for you? With so many voices from family, friends, culture, and even your own emotions, it can be hard to tell the difference between a good option and God’s best. The truth is, not every good person is God’s person for you.
Someone can check all the boxes on paper, but they still may not be the right fit for your purpose. That’s why discernment is so important. It’s not just about what you want, it’s about seeking God’s wisdom and letting Him guide your heart.
What a Relationship from God looks like:
1. It Aligns with God’s Word
God will never bring someone into your life who pulls you away from Him. If a relationship is leading you to compromise your faith, walk in disobedience, or put someone else before God, then it’s not His best. A godly relationship should strengthen your faith, not weaken it.
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
2. It Brings Peace, Not Confusion
You may not have all the answers when something is from God, but you will have peace. This doesn’t mean the relationship will be perfect, but it won’t leave you in constant anxiety or emotional chaos.
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)
3. It’s Rooted in Purpose, Not Just Feelings
Being attracted to your partner is great, but that isn’t enough to sustain a godly relationship. God’s best for you is someone who aligns with your purpose and encourages your growth. A person can be kind, loving, and even a Christian, but if they don’t align with what God has called you to do, they may not be the one.
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3)
