Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough for God? No matter how much you pray, worship, or try to live right, there’s always a lingering feeling of guilt, doubt, or spiritual failure. If so, let me break the good news to you that you’re not alone.
Many believers struggle with the thought that they are not truly godly and that they’re somehow a disappointment to God. That feeling doesn’t come from God, it’s the enemy messing with your mind.
One of Satan’s greatest strategies is deception. He knows he cannot take away your salvation, so he works hard to make you think you’re not worthy of God’s love. His goal is to make you believe a lie so that you live in defeat rather than the victory Christ has already won for you.
That’s why the Bible admits to us
1 Peter 5:8 “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”
If the enemy can make you doubt God’s love, he knows he can weaken your faith.
You see, your mistakes, struggles, and doubts can not separate you from God’s love. God’s love is constant, consistent, and unchanging.
Romans 8:38-39 that: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Now that you know the enemy’s tactics, here’s how you can fight back:
1. Renew your mind with God’s word daily
The enemy thrives in ignorance, but God’s Word is your weapon. (Romans 12:2)
2. Reject condemnation
Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit to lead you back to God, but condemnation comes from the devil to push you away from God. Learn to recognize the difference.
3. Guard your thoughts
When negative thoughts come, don’t entertain them. Instead, do what is in 2 Corinthians 10:5. Counter lies with truth. When the enemy says, You’re not godly, remind him: I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:21).
4. Stay in a community
Isolation makes you an easy target for the enemy. Stay connected with other believers who can encourage and uplift you.
5. Pray and resist the enemy
Prayer isn’t just talking to God; it’s also spiritual warfare. Fight negative thoughts in the place of prayer.
James 4:7 “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
So the next time the enemy tries to bring guilt and mess with your mind, remind him: I belong to Jesus, and nothing you say can change that truth.
It is amazing how we can overlook the power of the little.
God has the capacity to create anything out of nothing. It is the attribute of the divine.
But for man, there has to be that little to work with. God will never leave you with nothing. It could be gifts, talents, substance, relationships, or even the seed of the word, but there will always be that thing you have to get you to where you ought to be.
That is the principle of the kingdom.
In our scripture for the year, it says,
Isa 60:22 (KJV) A little one shall become a thousand, and a small one a strong nation: I the LORD will hasten it in his time.
Can you see that? What will become a thousand is the “little.”
That little is always needed.
What is the little that you have but have neglected because you are looking for the “huge” capital to get started?
What is the little gift you have but have simply refused to appreciate?
Well, whatever is not appreciated will depreciate.
You must not only identify and acknowledge your little, but you must be thankful, praise-full, and grateful to God for it.
Do you remember the five loaves and the two fishes?
John 6:5-9 (KJV) When Jesus then lifted up his eyes, and saw a great company come unto him, he saith unto Philip, Whence shall we buy bread, that these may eat? [6] And this he said to prove him: for he himself knew what he would do. [7] Philip answered him, Two hundred pennyworth of bread is not sufficient for them, that every one of them may take a little. [8] One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, saith unto him, [9] There is a lad here, which hath five barley loaves, and two small fishes: but what are they among so many?
Andrew despised and dismissed the little lunch of the little boy, but hey, that was exactly “the little” that Jesus needed to demonstrate God’s wonder on supernatural provision!
Be thankful and grateful for the little this morning, put it in the hands of Jesus like that lunch, and watch a glorious miracle of multiplication unravel in your life! May God open your eyes to see the little!
Have you ever wondered why someone is involved in obviously wrong ways of doing things and it seems as though they continue having their way? Do you ever wonder why it seems as though God is just watching while men violate His injunctions, being outrightly disobedient to Him, and there seems to be nothing happening?
Well, I have asked those kinds of questions too.
Does it mean there is a license to continue doing whatever anyone wants to do because of “grace?”
Rev 22:11-12 (KJV): He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still. [12] And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall
Wow! Did you just read that?
We have told people, preachers have preached, teachers have taught, prophets have prophesied, and conferences have been held… and there is no more: Let the unjust continue to be unjust, let the filthy continue, let the righteous keep on, and let the holy be holy still.
Why? Jesus is coming quickly, with His reward. Everyone will be rewarded according to the work of their hands.
Let’s take a look at another translation.
Rev 22:11-12 (AMPC): He who is unrighteous (unjust, wicked), let him be unrighteous still; and he who is filthy (vile, impure), let him be filthy still; and he who is righteous (just, upright, in right standing with God), let him do right still; and he who is holy, let him be holy still. [12] Behold, I am coming soon, and I shall bring My wages and rewards with Me, to repay and render to each one just what his own actions and his own work merit.
I was at a meeting this past few days, and our father, Dr. Albert Femi Oduwole, was ministering. He quoted a scripture that really struck a chord. It will bless you.
2Sa 14:26 (KJV) And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year’s end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king’s weight.
The scripture above referred to Absalom, who was the most handsome man in the Old Testament.
He would cut his hair at the end of every year because it had become heavy on him.
What is heavy on you that you are coping with? You are supposed to “poll” it.
Interestingly, the same hair was the point of his beauty. But that which is responsible for his beauty also became a point of weariness due to the heaviness.
How often have we found out that our point of giftings can often become a point of distraction, if left unpolled!
This is the end of the year! You need some polling to do!
The Amplified Bible calls it a burden!
2Sa 14:26 (AMPC) And when he cut the hair of his head, he weighed it–for at each year’s end he cut it, because its weight was a burden to him–and it weighed 200 shekels by the king’s weight.
Many of you are probably gifted and smart, but your weight has become too much of a burden!
The scripture rightly says:
Mat 11:28 (KJV) Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
That hair that has grown over your relationship needs some polling. Some numbers need to be deleted. Some relationships need to be discarded. They have become a point of iniquity, and you know! Go get some barbing now!
Refuse to carry all demonic hair on your head! Do not allow any heaviness!
May God give you proper rest as you approach the coming year!
So, What Exactly Are Unhealthy Relationship Patterns?
Alright, let’s be real: relationships can be complicated. Sometimes, without even realizing it, we find ourselves stuck in unhealthy patterns. These can range from being codependent to dealing with manipulation or even emotional abuse. But what does all of this mean?
Codependency happens when you’re constantly putting your partner’s needs above your own, losing yourself in the process. Picture this: You’re always sacrificing your goals just to keep them happy, and after a while, resentment creeps in. Sound familiar?
Then there’s manipulation—where one person uses guilt or mind games to control the other. Ever had a partner who said, “If you really loved me, you’d do this”? That’s manipulation in action. Not cool, right?
And of course, emotional abuse—the more sneaky, damaging stuff like constant criticism or isolating you from friends and family. It can mess with your head and make you question your self-worth.
All of these patterns usually stem from deeper issues, like past trauma or attachment styles (which we’ll get into later). But the good news? Once you recognize these patterns, you can take steps to break free and create healthier connections.
How to Spot Unhealthy Patterns Like a Pro
So, how do you know if you’re in an unhealthy relationship? It’s not always obvious, especially when feelings are involved. But here are some signs to watch out for:
Anxiety on Repeat: Are you constantly feeling anxious about where you stand in the relationship? Do you second-guess everything you say or do? That’s a major red flag.
Lack of Trust: If you’re always questioning each other’s intentions or snooping through phones, it’s time to hit pause. Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship.
Losing Yourself: When you start changing your values, hobbies, or even your personality to fit into your partner’s world, you’re losing touch with you. Your relationship should enhance your identity, not erase it.
Same Fights, Different Days: If you keep arguing about the same things over and over, and the fights escalate over the smallest issues, it’s likely a sign that there’s something bigger beneath the surface.
Communication Breakdown: If meaningful conversations are becoming fewer and farther between, it’s a sign of disconnection. Healthy relationships thrive on open dialogue, not on avoiding tough conversations.
Breaking Free from Unhealthy Patterns
Now that you’ve identified the patterns, let’s talk about breaking free. Here’s where the hard work—and the magic—happens.
Set Clear Boundaries First things first: set some healthy boundaries. Let your partner know what’s okay and what’s not. This doesn’t have to be a confrontation. It’s about communicating your needs and standing firm on them. Your boundaries should protect your emotional and mental well-being.
Therapy Can Be a Game Changer Therapy isn’t just for “big” issues. It’s for anyone who wants to understand themselves better and break unhealthy cycles. Whether it’s individual therapy or couples counseling, having a professional guide you through the process can be super empowering.
Self-Care is Essential When was the last time you really focused on you? Take time to invest in your hobbies, spend time with friends, and nurture your spiritual life. The more grounded you are, the more you can show up as your best self in any relationship.
Look for the Red Flags Keep an eye out for red flags like disrespect, dishonesty, or controlling behavior. If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut and don’t be afraid to step back when needed.
Building Healthier Relationships: What’s Next?
Alright, you’ve done the work to break free from unhealthy patterns—now what? It’s time to build the kind of relationships that bring joy and help you grow.
Communication is Key Make open and honest communication a priority. Don’t just sweep things under the rug. Have tough conversations, share your thoughts and feelings, and listen to your partner with empathy.
Mutual Respect A healthy relationship is built on respect—respect for each other’s individuality, opinions, and personal space. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you should value each other’s perspectives.
Trust and Intimacy Trust is earned through consistency. Be reliable, be honest, and create a space where both you and your partner feel safe. Intimacy isn’t just physical; it’s about being vulnerable, sharing your deepest thoughts, and connecting emotionally.
Keep Your Independence A healthy relationship is made up of two whole individuals. Continue to invest in your own growth, hobbies, and friendships. Your relationship should complement your life, not consume it.
Your Path to Healthier Relationships
Breaking free from unhealthy patterns isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it. By recognizing the signs, setting boundaries, seeking help when needed, and committing to personal growth, you’re laying the foundation for relationships that are strong, fulfilling, and grounded in faith.
Now, I want to hear from you! Have you ever experienced unhealthy patterns in your relationships? How did you overcome them? Drop a comment below and let’s chat about it! Or, if you’re ready to take action, why not reach out to a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist and start your journey toward healthier connections?
Whether you’re single, dating, or figuring it all out, remember this: you deserve a relationship that uplifts, supports, and helps you grow into the person God created you to be. Take the first step today, and you’ll be amazed at how far you can go.