Oftentimes, people walk away from toxic relationships, unhealthy attachments, or bad habits, thinking that the battle is over. But leaving is only the first step. The real challenge is filling that empty space with something better. It’s easy to think that once you’ve cut ties with the wrong person or situation, everything will automatically be fine. But if you don’t intentionally fill your heart with positive, God-centered things, you might find yourself slipping back into old patterns even after you might have vowed that it would never happen again.
“When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through dry places seeking rest, and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first.” — Matthew 12:43-45 (NKJV)
This is the very point Jesus was making in Matthew 12. A man was freed from an unclean spirit, but when the spirit returned, it found the house empty. Without something better taking its place, the man’s situation worsened. It’s a pattern we see in relationships, too. If you leave one behind but don’t fill your life with healing, purpose, and spiritual growth, you open yourself up to emptiness and vulnerability. This emptiness can lead you to crave the wrong things: unhealthy attention, distractions, or even another toxic relationship.
Instead of just walking away from bad relationships, it’s crucial to intentionally build a life that’s full of what truly matters—God’s wisdom, His love, and a deeper sense of purpose. Focus on nurturing your relationship with God, growing emotionally, and investing time with people who help you grow in faith. Stay busy with purpose, serve God like never before, and pursue personal growth. When you fill your life with the right things, you create a strong foundation, leaving no room for the wrong things to creep back in.
Leaving behind what’s wrong is an important step, but the real work begins after that. If you don’t fill the empty space with God’s truth, His presence, and a sense of purpose, you are at risk of falling into that same cycle. Today, make the decision to fill your life with His presence so that when love comes, you are not settling out of emptiness but embracing something beautiful because you are whole, ready, and aligned with God’s perfect plan for you.
If you are married, never deny him/her in bed. It should not be used as a reward or punishment in marriage. Always be there for him or her because if you are not, he or she becomes vulnerable to others outside who may be putting pressure.
2. Communication
Don’t hide anything from your spouse. Be very open. The moment you start hiding things, you are opening the doors for the devil. Whatever is covered would never be healed. Iniquity is perpetuated in the atmosphere of secrecy.
3. Chastity
As a married person, don’t play with infidelity. Don’t hang out with colleagues discussing your home and marriage. Respect the marital covenant you have with your spouse. Don’t be too fast giving up on your marriage because of personal differences and opinions that will surely show up.
4. Emotional Needs
Do not manipulate your spouse with emotional antics. Your spouse cannot satisfy ALL your emotional needs. Some of the emotional emptiness you feel are as a result of deep emptiness in the soul that can only be satisfied with God and His word. No wonder the scripture says, ‘He restoreth my soul!’
5. Selflessness
Cover the back of each other. Avoid tit for tat! In marriage, you are one. When you fight or hurt your spouse, in reality, you are fighting or hurting your destiny. Don’t shoot yourself in the leg. Put your ego aside and apologize quickly.
Be very sincere, and run away from deceptive tendencies. Let your spouse trust you any day any time. Learn to say sorry and forgive quickly. Think about it, if God stops forgiving you when you ask Him to, how would you have survived it? Work together as one and your progress will be ensured.
I pray for you this morning that God will give you the wisdom you need in your marriage, family, home, career, work, business, and other endeavors in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Our love is rekindled daily. I love my spouse and I am committed to our marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes and show me what I know not.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 6:7 GNB Do not deceive yourselves; no one makes a fool of God. You will reap exactly what you plant.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Talk to God. Pour your heart to Him now
A person who is emotionally unavailable would want to start a relationship in a rather too fast way.
Hours after meeting, he is already laying the sheets on the bed. Hours after meeting each other, she is already giving you body language that she is all for the take!
The guy feels lucky that he just met a sexually willing babe. Well, he just met a confused soul who wants to use him to deaden the pain in her heart.
A guy who is not really in love and has no emotional connection often times just wants the jeru trip. He is not emotionally available.
What you need to know is that for a relationship to work properly, there needs to be a development flow. But when you try to bypass the natural rhythm of intimacy, there will be relationship chaos!
An emotionally unavailable person wants the sexual phase of the relationship to happen quickly, but we all know that this is a phase that God wants to be reserved till the time of marriage.
I am going to stop here this morning, but before I go, a word for the married.
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In marriage, make sure nothing steals times of intimacy building between the two of you. Never allow any other person apart from your spouse into your emotional space!
Your emotional space is only for your spouse and any other person is an “alien” that will do damage to your heart. Block out every emotional opening and space to colleagues, boss, friends, and even your pastors! Let all the emotional space be taken by your spouse only!
That is how to be on safe ground!
May God grant more understanding in Jesus name!
I pray for all who might just be going through the process of emotional healing, I ask that God will touch your heart and grant you the grace to forgive and let go in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a wreck to my lover
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be emotionally stable
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:17(MSG) God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Heal from the past before moving to the next
Sometimes, husbands want to please or do things that their wives enjoy. They experience frustration in trying to make them happy, especially since their wives are emotional beings. One moment they are happy, the other moment they are not so happy. Since their emotions are not stable, it becomes difficult for the husbands to know how to meet them at their point of need.
I think there are three areas or ways that any time, a woman will always find enjoyable. A man has to be patient with his wife. An impatient husband will always be seen as a not too caring husband.
If every husband can do these three things, there will always be smiles and peace in the marriage.
1. Be Understanding 2. Be tender 3. Buy her things.
1. Be understanding
The man is the head and so makes a lot of decisions. A woman does certain things and may not think of the consequences, maybe because she is emotional. The logic of the husband usually corrects all these.
But in correcting, he should try and not be hard. He will be tempted to be hard and harsh in correcting her. But if you don’t yield to temptation it will be good.
There is always gratefulness that every wife expresses to an understanding husband. It is understanding that makes a husband not flare up and get angry at every provocation. It is understanding that makes a husband read in between the lines and put himself in her shoes.
2. Be tender Most men are by nature wired to be leaders and could be hard. But for the sake of peace in the home, you have to be tender and choose to lead lovingly.
The password of any woman is always being tender to her. The woman does not need the tenderness of any other man but that of her own husband.
The husband must know that he has a responsibility to always meet this need of being tender. Your wife enjoys this more than giving her a million dollars.
3. Buy her gifts There is a chord inside every woman that buying gifts touches. Ladies are known to like anything shiny. A woman can never have enough gifts, there is always room for more.
The gifts don’t have to be big or expensive. It is the gesture of being remembered and spending money to buy her stuff that matters.
The gifts should be consistent, not once in a while. Some husbands think when they buy her gifts often, she takes them for granted. Not true at all.
How often do you want your wife happy? If your answer is often, then buy her gifts often. Gifts mean taking her out sometimes. Spending time with her and just taking care of her.
Spend your money on her. Don’t be afraid to spend on your wife, God will provide. It is said that when you want to spoil your wife, God will always provide the money.
First, let it be in your heart to do and God will put it in your hands.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not confused.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that every doubt will be destroyed
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Php 4:7, MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Spend time in God’s presence
