How To Handle Disagreements

How To Handle Disagreements

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How To Handle Disagreements as singles and couples. Disagreements are part of courtship and marriage as much as the biscuit wrapper is a part of the package when you buy a biscuit. In the natural, we display common sense when we throw away the biscuit wrapper and enjoy the biscuit which is the most important thing.

The start of a quarrel is like a leak in a dam, so stop it before it bursts.  (Pro 17:14, MSG)

In our courtship and marriage, disagreement will ensue at one point or another. It is wisdom and understanding knowing how to throw away the “wrapper” and enjoy each other’s companionship because two are better than one and one will chase one thousand but two shall put ten thousand to flight. The rewards and benefits of marriage and courtship are too great to allow trivial misunderstandings to rob us of these benefits.

Essentially, in marriage opposite will always attract. You were attracted to her in the first place because she is not like you. She is a woman, and you are a man, a whole world of difference. I and my husband are very different. He is a Choleric while I am a Phlegmatic. He is quick, fast, and decisive while I am not. I take my time, and process things first before doing things. We first had issues in courtship because we both wanted each other to be like each other. He wanted me to be fast and quick, I wanted him to take things easy. We are still very different, but now we have learned to accept, appreciate and celebrate our differences. We have decided not to major in the main. 

We have learned to allow God to work in our marriage and use our unique differences to bring blessings into our home and ministry. This is one of the reasons why you cannot afford to marry an unbeliever. When you marry a believer God becomes the center of your relationship and He gives direction to your relationship.

Here are 5 practical steps that will help you in handling disagreements in your courtship and marriage.

How To Handle Disagreements.

1. Accept your partner’s difference

This is not about resorting to fate and condoling the weaknesses of your partner. It is an understanding based on the fact that you cannot change any man. You did not die for any man including your partner so allow his/her saviour to do the job of transforming them. Accept the fact that because you are from different backgrounds, your opinion and reasoning will not be the same on all issues of life.

How To Handle Disagreements.

2. Allow God’s word to be the continual judge and umpire of every disagreement

Always learn to handle disagreements by doing what the word of God says. One of the most basic fundamental principles of a successful marriage is” Husbands love your wife and wives submit and respect their own husbands”. So whatever the situation, always ask yourself, “ Am loving my wife or am I respecting my husband in this issue”. Following this golden rule will resolve any disagreement.

How To Handle Disagreements.

3. Grow in your relationship with God

The more we place emphasis on our relationship with God, the more our relationships with our fiance or fiancee, husband, or wife become better. This is because courtship and marriage require spiritual energy to make them successful. Once your priority is your walk with God and being led by God’s spirit, your relationship just enjoys the benefits of a spirit-controlled life. You know God is the greatest lover, He just teaches you how to love her better, and how to respect him more. 

How To Handle Disagreements.

4. Don’t let things degenerate into strife

The ultimate aim of the devil is to get all disagreements to a point of strife, quarrels, abuse, fighting, and then what people now call irreconcilable differences. If you are a believer and you have the Holy Spirit, there are no irreconcilable differences, only differences you choose to make irreconcilable. Learn to forgive quickly and move on. Don’t allow the devil to fulfill his ministry of stealing, killing, and destroying in your relationship.

How To Handle Disagreements.

5. Be humble enough to see from your partner’s perspective

If you are not humble enough, you will be saying the same things, in different ways and yet you will not see it. It takes humility to see things from another person’s viewpoint. Don’t always insist on your own. It is pride to think your own way must always to the acceptable way. Be willing to allow your partner to have his/her way, especially if it’s not a matter of life and death. Even if it is, learn to talk to God about it, and allow Him to work things out. He always does a better job than you.


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