3. Never allow anybody to come and live with you in the house without the full agreement of your spouse. If your spouse is not in support, your attempt to help others can be at the expense of your marriage and it can drive you apart.
Many marriages are under tremendous pressures because the wife is not only taking care of her husband but several siblings at a time. Issue will necessarily come out of this.
4. Never oppose your spouse openly. Don’t build walls against yourself. If you must correct your spouse, don’t do it in the presence of his friends and colleagues, you might end up adding more to the issue.
However, you can always have a confidant with whom both of you agree you can discuss with, because there are times you really need to pour your hearts out.
5. Never get close to others other than your spouse. Be your spouse’s friend and never allow anybody to come in between you.
There are Delialahs, Jezebels, Amnons, Jonadabs and so on. The moment you know, and you always know that you are getting up close and emotional to someone apart from your spouse, cut it off, or else you will soon be in serious problems. The moment you can hide things from your spouse, it is the beginning of problems.
The moment you can discuss your spouse with colleagues and they discuss theirs with you, you are going too far. The devil will set a trap. Avoid distractions.
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My spouse is second to none but God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach us to be a skillful couple in loving you and loving ourselves
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2Co 2:11 MSG After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief–we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your spouse on how you can love each other better.
I want to sharewith you this morning a few things I have learnt over time. I want to identify three out of many practices that you should avoid in your marriage. Avoiding them is tactically avoiding unnecessary headaches. May God continue to give is His wisdom.
1. Avoid reporting your spouse to your in-laws or parents or any other third party aside from your mentors/pastors. From counseling experiences, it usually backfires and sets the family more into crisis than bring them out of it. Once the husband realizes he is no longer in charge of his family, he is going to get really defensive. Once the wife sees that her husband takes instruction from his parents while leaving her out, she is going to react.
Reporting to parents or in-laws? It will not end well. It will always not work out. It’s natural for parents to be sentimental to their children. There will be bias and emotions will flare.
Most of the time, you report to them when there are issues but forget to call them back when you settle the issues, so they keep making up their mind.
If the parents are the only persons on earth your spouse listens to, that is when you may involve them. If otherwise, do not do it.
2. Do not report your spouse to your colleagues or boss. The devil is so smart, looking for avenues to deal with you. If you report your spouse to your colleague or boss, the devil can capitalize on it and set you up for an emotional affair.
An emotional affair is just a few strokes away from adultery. You really do not want to thread that path
3. Do not manipulate your spouse emotionally This will affect your prayer life. Once your spouse says or does something that does not resonate with you, you simply withdraw and give an attitude. It’s called silent treatment and it’s not cool in all its shades. That is not the way to grow. Avoid every form of manipulation.
Stay together, pray together.
May God bless your marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am wise. I deal with my spouse according to knowledge
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me the needed wisdom to handle my home
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Pet 3:7 (NLT)In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Look out for the word ‘honor’ in your relationship