The issue of communication in marriage cannot be over emphasized. Think about it, before that relationship started, you had to communicate your love to her.
In preparing for the wedding, you had to do a lot of communication. The problem is a lot of couples stop communicating after marriage.
Words are powerful. Jesus said words are spirits. Spirits don’t die, therefore words don’t die. Jesus said you will account for everything you say.
You can build your marriage with right words and you can ruin it with wrong words. Whilst doing my Master’s Degree programme in Communication and Language Arts, a professor told us in class something simple but powerful.
In communication, the speaker and the hearer are very important. Until what is said is perceived and understood by the receiver, there is no communication. The question is “are you listening to her?”
Spend time with your spouse. Discuss from time to time. If you don’t give your spouse attention, you will be shocked of the extent he/she can go just to get attention.
In some countries, listeners are hired and paid just to listen to women talk. That is how important communication is.
Whatever happens in your marriage, don’t stop communicating. Learn your spouse’s love language, that is his/her password!
You see, out of the abundance, of the heart, the mouth speaks… If you are on his/her mind, there will be communication! When you are rendered incommunicado in a marriage for whatever excuse, it is not a good place to be.
If your marriage is defective, you can still make amends today!
He stands at the door of your heart and knocks. If you open the door for him he will come in right now and realign your marriage.
May God give you more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My mouth is full of right words. The opening of my mouth is unto wisdom and grace.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Spirit of God, fill my mouth with right words over my spouse, children and family
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:4 The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Fix a time for a hearty discussion
Here Is What It Takes To Build A Home. There is a popular scripture I love so much. It is in the book of proverbs
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. – Pro 14:1
From this scripture, it is seen that the building of homes is directly the responsibility of the woman. But not just any type of woman, the woman has to be wise. It takes wisdom to build.
So that means there is wisdom to build, and there is the foolishness that plucks down or tears down. How is this wisdom acquired? If it just read a woman, we will know that once you are born a female, then you automatically possess this wisdom to build.
That means there are some women who do not have the wisdom to build their marriages and homes. There are no two ways to do it. It is either you are building your home or you are tearing it down. There is no middle way to it.
If you have wisdom, then you have it and if you don’t have it, you don’t have it.
The question we need to ask ourselves is; am I a wise woman?
The bible gave us the blueprint of asking for wisdom. We have a right to ask God for wisdom
My mentor told me how she will go about eating Suya and one day, a car almost hit her. The incident was reported to her husband who out of anger said she was behaving stupidly.
She felt slighted and offended. She talked to the Holy Spirit about the matter, and the Holy Spirit confirmed what her husband said. The Holy Spirit told her she is not only stupid but also foolish and not operating in wisdom. She was shocked at this and almost couldn’t believe her ears. She then decided to ask God for wisdom.
Until you consciously ask God for wisdom, don’t assume you have wisdom. Until you can say for sure when you were given wisdom by God, don’t assume you have wisdom.
My mentor prayed for wisdom for six months, every day for 3 hours. No wonder she had an encounter with the spirit of wisdom.
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. – Jas 1:5
We have to ask and keep on asking. There are over 223 scriptures in the Bible where the word wisdom appears. We can take one aspect of wisdom and pray it into our life.
There are different aspects of wisdom. There is wisdom to deal wisely in the affairs of life. Wisdom is worth praying for because if you don’t have wisdom, you are left with foolishness, and foolishness tears down.
May we not out of foolishness, tear down that which we have built.
May God help us!
God bless our marriage in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me the wisdom to build my house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Pro 14:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be more committed in your marriage.
A lovely day it is to once again look into our topic, building a happy and lasting marriage.
It takes a conscious effort to build anything. Jesus showed us how to build. He says we must dig deep and lay the foundation on the rock, on solid principles that are void of sentiments. Build with godly principles that will outlive the test of time.
Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. – Luk 6:47- 48
5. Be polite to each other
This is very crucial if you must build a lasting marriage where both spouses are happy. Most of the time, the husband’s ego makes it difficult to be polite to his wife. He feels why should I say sorry, thank you, or please. If he says it at all, he does so once in a while.
If the wife mentions it, he says ‘I am the husband’. In marriage, we don’t take each other for granted. Later than sooner, there will be reactions. Respect should be reciprocal.
6. Always listen attentively to your spouse.
Make it a habit to always listen when your spouse is talking. When the spouse senses that you are not listening, it gives a feeling he/she is not so important to you. You must make your spouse feel like they are the most important person in this world to you because really they are.
Stop looking at your phones, iPad, laptop or watching the news, or reading a book when your spouse is talking to you.
The best communication skill you can develop is listening. Be quiet and patient while your spouse is speaking and you can now express your opinion. Look straight into his/her eyes when he /she is talking to you. That will make them feel you are interested in what they have to say.
This is the key to your relationship. Talk like lovers and friends. Most couples have lost friendship and some were never friends. You need to make amends where necessary because you can’t build a lasting marriage where you are not each other’s friends.
Don’t grow apart. There should be no fear whatsoever in expressing yourself. Deal with the root of whatever is causing fear. Ask yourself; am I easy to talk with? Does my spouse find me easy to talk with? Don’t answer yourself, ask your spouse. Don’t let your spouse guess what you are thinking about.
I will stop here for now.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Pro 14:1 (KJV)
Women are just simply powerful. And that is how God created them. This is why they are also called helpers. And the only other person that was referred to as helper in the entirety of the New Testament is the Holy Spirit.
Every other time, you will hear about the prayers of mothers. Hardly will you hear people talk about the prayers of their fathers. That tells you there is something about women.
Dear wife, there is a lot of power and accompanying responsibilities that lie with you. Your decisions, prayers, and actions will eventually build your home or tear it down, therefore, you cannot afford to be foolish. Be wise and cooperate with what God is trying to do in your life.
How do you do this?
Avoid all the strife, bickering, quarrels, and the like for that is how a foolish woman tears down her home. Avoid emotional affairs. They are distractions.
Now, since it is the woman building the house, what then is the responsibility of the man?
Build the woman!
That is what the man should do. Build the woman.
Dear men, build your wife so that your wife can build the house.
Invest in your wife. Support her endeavors and career. Be interested in her passion and you know what, she will give it all it takes to pray for the family.
May your marriage be blessed.
CONFESSION FOR TODAY I chose to honor my spouse.
PRAYER FOR TODAY Pray for your wife.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY Pro 14:1 (KJV)Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.