Handling Affairs in Marriage – Part 2

by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | May 20, 2021 | Couples

We started on the topic of Handling affairs in marriage difficult. We started on this topic yesterday and I established the fact that it is a difficult situation to handle for the spouse.

It is better prevented than experienced.

Handling affairs in marriage is difficult. The pain and hurt of the betrayal of an affair is in different categories. There are more painful experiences than others.

Imagine the pain of someone having a full-blown sexual affair with your house help or having an affair with your sister or brother or with your best friend or even with someone who needed your help and offered to help.

The pain of being cheated and taken for a fool is best described as a dagger piercing ones soul.

That is why, the spouse of the erring spouse must allow the Lord heal his/her soul completely.

The first response is that of frustration and revenge.

It is to be noted that our response to handling this issue (i.e handling affairs in marriage) can never be in the flesh. If we must handle things well, we should never allow our flesh to gain ascendancy over our spirit.

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1 KJV

The only way to avoid condemnation is to walk in the spirit.

The devil seeks to accuse us to God even in the midst of that very difficult situation. He wants to accuse us so that the unity and agreement needed as a couple to break the backbone of lust is broken.

When the spouse that is supposed to stand in the gap to the erring spouse is bitter and offended against the spouse that needs help, how will there be total victory and complete deliverance?

Hear me, I am not saying or pushing the responsibility to be free in the hands of the other spouse, I’m only saying it puts the enemy to shame faster.

Imagine if someone comes to accuse your son to you for stealing your money expecting you to flog him, it will be the son’s privilege and he will forever be grateful if you don’t join the outsider to condemn him but show him mercy.

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: Matthew 6:14 KJV

The outsider cannot do anything except the father agrees with the outsider to punish his son.

I am not undermining disciplining a child when wrong. It is just an analogy to tell us you don’t have to join the enemy in disciplining or correcting your son. You will punish your son but not in the presence of the outsider. It is a family issue and should be handled as such.

Likewise handle the erring spouse infidelity as such. Once again, this is done by being in the spirit.

Let’s continue on the issue of handling affairs in marriage

3. Walk in the spirit

This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16 KJV

If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Galatians 5:25 KJV

Our flesh is what seeks expression when we feel we have been violated. The flesh wants to respond in retaliation. The flesh wants to fight back but we must go by the way of the cross when it comes to the issue of handling affairs in marriage.

It takes unconditional love to forgive and keep forgiving even when the erring spouse is in the wrong.

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?  Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21 – 22 KJV

It takes a conscious walk in the spirit to do this. If it were not possible, Jesus would have not said it. But that he said it means it is possible.

Jesus will definitely give us grace. This Grace is available for us if we will embrace it. If we are willing and obedient, he will give us this grace to forgive.

But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. James 4:6 KJV

Let’s trust God to help us. No matter how far stretched we are, God still has more Grace to give to us.

I will stop here today and continue tomorrow on handling affairs in marriage

God bless our marriage and protect us from the powers of darkness.

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will be faithful to my partner.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
My Father, help me to keep my marriage vows.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
James 4:7 (ESV): Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he
will flee from you.

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Open up to your spouse, if there be any issues

BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Ps 70