Between Love and Lies: The Struggle of Marital Deception
In the heart of the expansive Savanna, where Acacia trees stretch towards an endless horizon, lies the village of Kabira. This close-knit community is home to Juma, a renowned storyteller, and his stunning wife, Nia. Their love story, filled with romance, challenges, and profound lessons, has consequently become a cherished legend in their village.
Juma’s Gift for Storytelling
Firstly, Juma was celebrated far and wide for his extraordinary ability to tell stories. His voice, rhythmic like a drumbeat and flowing like a river, brought to life the history and legends of their people. From ancient heroes’ epic journeys to the mischievous deeds of spirits, Juma’s tales captivated everyone in Kabira.
Nia’s Beauty and Wisdom
Nia was equally admired for her unparalleled beauty, wisdom, and exceptional skill in weaving intricate patterns into the village’s garments. Moreover, her creations were more than just clothing; each piece told a story of love, tradition, and dreams. Nia was also known for her kind heart and deep understanding of the human spirit.
Their First Meeting and Marriage
Juma and Nia met by a tranquil riverbank, instantly enchanted by each other. Their courtship was a dance of affection: Juma shared warrior tales, and additionally, Nia gifted woven garments. They married in a grand village ceremony, blessed with songs, dances, and heartfelt gifts, sealing their deep connection and love.
The Trials and Tribulations; Early Challenges
As with all great stories, Juma and Nia’s marriage faced trials. The initial days were filled with joy and laughter, but soon the challenges of life surfaced. Juma’s temper, quick to flare when his artistic flow was interrupted, clashed with Nia’s calm and patient demeanor. Consequently, their harmony was disrupted, leading to frustrations and misunderstandings.
A Divine Dream
One evening, after an exhausting day, Juma’s frustration boiled over when Nia did not prepare his favorite meal. Their argument continued into the night, and for the first time, they went to bed with unresolved anger. That night, Nia was visited in a dream by Jesus, who gently reminded her that marriage requires patience, understanding, and appreciation of the small things.
Renewed Purpose
Nia awoke with a renewed sense of purpose and shared her dream with Juma. Recognizing the wisdom in Jesus’s advice, Juma promised never to let anger linger between them. They agreed to resolve their disagreements before the night ended, no matter how challenging the conversation might be.
Working Their Marriage
Juma and Nia paused their disagreements to approach them calmly, using kind words to strengthen their bond. Daily compliments fostered goodwill: Juma admired Nia’s weavings, and she praised his stories. Nia thrived on Juma’s affirmations, feeling cherished, which deepened their emotional connection and reinforced their love and appreciation for each other.
A Tragic Turn
Despite their best efforts, their story took a tragic turn. Juma began to struggle with writer’s block, feeling the weight of his inability to captivate his audience. Determined to regain his spark, he devoted all his energy to his craft, inadvertently neglecting Nia in the process.
Nia’s Loneliness
Feeling increasingly overlooked and unappreciated, Nia tried to communicate her needs to Juma. However, Juma, absorbed in his struggle and feeling overwhelmed, dismissed her concerns. His frustration and impatience consequently led to more frequent arguments.
The Temptation
In her vulnerability, Nia found herself drawn to Kato, a charming trader who had recently arrived in the village. Kato was attentive and kind, providing a temporary refuge from Nia’s troubles at home. One evening, after another heated argument with Juma, Nia sought solace in Kato’s company.
The Encounter
Under the moonlit sky, Nia and Kato sat by the riverbank, discussing their lives and dreams. Overwhelmed by her emotions and the comfort Kato provided, Nia almost gave in to the temptation. Although she brushed off the incident, Kato pursued her once more.
The Discovery
One evening, Juma stumbled upon Nia and Kato holding hands intimately by the riverbank. Heartbroken, he confronted the situation. Furthermore, he reported the matter to the village elders. Nia, facing scrutiny, explained her vulnerability and Juma’s neglect.
The Resolution
Consequently, the village elders decided Kato should be sent out of the village. The community rallied around Juma and Nia, offering support as they navigated the difficult path ahead. Nia confessed everything to Juma, and they both apologized for their actions, vowing to rebuild their marriage on trust, love, and understanding.
A Timeless Message
• Effort and Patience: A happy and enduring marriage requires effort and patience.
• Willingness to Grow: Growth is essential for a lasting relationship.
• Resolving Conflicts with Kindness: Addressing disagreements with kindness is crucial.
• Preventing Anger from Festering: Never let anger linger unresolved.
• Daily Appreciation: Regularly show appreciation for your partner.
• Enduring Love: “May your love be as enduring as the Baobab tree, and may your marriage be blessed with joy and harmony.”
The Tale of Three Couples: The Whispering Winds of Doubt
Introduction
In the heart of the ancient land of Ife, where rivers sang melodies and trees whispered secrets, lived three couples whose stories intertwined in a tapestry of love, doubt, and divine guidance. This tale explores the challenges and resolutions faced by these couples as they navigate the complexities of their relationships.
Bola and Ola: The Dance of Doubts
Love and Doubt
Bola, a beautiful maiden with sparkling eyes, was deeply in love with Ola, a brave and kind warrior. They dreamt of a future together, filled with marriage and children. However, Bola harbored doubts that whispered to her in the quiet of the night, casting shadows over her heart.
Seeking Wisdom
One evening, Bola confided in Mama Kofo, a wise old storyteller known for her tales by the village fire. “Mama Kofo,” Bola began, “I love Ola with all my heart, but doubts plague my mind. I fear our union may not be blessed.”
Divine Guidance
Mama Kofo, her eyes twinkling with wisdom, nodded. “Doubts are like the winds, my child. They can bring a cool breeze or a fierce storm. Have you sought the guidance of God? Have you listened to the Holy Spirit?”
Bola, with tears in her eyes, admitted she had not. Mama Kofo advised her to seek God’s wisdom and not let doubts steer her ship. Bola took this advice to heart, finding peace in seeking divine guidance.
Ekene and Chiamaka: The Uneasy Path
Unease in Love
Ekene, a skilled hunter, was courting Chiamaka, a beauty admired by the village. Despite his affection, Ekene felt a persistent unease, a gnawing doubt that something was amiss.
Mentor’s Counsel
Ekene approached Baba Ojo, his revered mentor. “Baba Ojo,” Ekene said, “I am troubled. Though Chiamaka is wonderful, I feel something is not right. This doubt follows me like a shadow.”
Praying for Clarity
Baba Ojo explained that doubt could be a messenger, either warning of danger or testing resolve. He urged Ekene to pray to God and seek His counsel. Initially fearful of the answer, Ekene eventually prayed, finding clarity and understanding that his unease was a call to understand Chiamaka better and root their love in truth.
Emmanuel and Juma: The Silent Struggles
Hidden Doubts
Emmanuel and Juma were married with a little boy, appearing perfect to the outside world. However, behind closed doors, they questioned if they were truly meant for each other, with silent struggles and unspoken doubts.
Seeking Help
They sought counsel from Aunty Kemi, the village elder known for her understanding of love and relationships. “Aunty Kemi,” Emmanuel began, “our marriage is seen as beautiful, but we are questioning if we are meant to be. Doubts cloud our hearts.”
Strengthening the Bond
Aunty Kemi listened patiently and explained that doubt in marriage is common, but facing it is crucial. She advised them to pray together and seek God’s guidance, reminding them of the love that initially brought them together. Emmanuel and Juma prayed and communicated openly, realigning with their true path and strengthening their bond.
The Lesson of the Whispering Winds
As the three couples sought divine guidance, they learned that doubts often arise for various reasons. Sometimes they are warnings, other times they are tests of faith. Through prayer, seeking the wisdom of God, and listening to their inner convictions, they found clarity.
Lessons Learned
Bola discovered that her doubts were a divine reminder to seek God’s blessing for her union with Ola. Ekene realized his unease was a call to understand Chiamaka better and ensure their love was rooted in truth. Emmanuel and Juma found their doubts were an invitation to reconnect and strengthen their bond through prayer and mutual understanding.
The Festival of Clarity
To celebrate the newfound wisdom, the village organized a grand festival known as the Festival of Clarity. Filled with music, dance, and storytelling, it became an annual event where people shared their stories of overcoming doubts and finding true love and purpose.
Honoring the Elders
During the festival, Mama Kofo, Baba Ojo, and Aunty Kemi were honored as the village’s wise elders. They continued to share their wisdom, guiding the villagers through the complexities of life and love.
Lessons
Seek Divine Guidance
Always seek divine guidance when facing doubts for peace and clarity.
Trust Inner Convictions
Listen to your gut feelings as they often signal important issues.
Communicate and Reconnect
Open communication and mutual prayer can strengthen relationships.
Embrace Patience and Wisdom
Take time to make decisions and seek advice from trusted sources.
Maintain Purity and Order
Strive for purity in actions and intentions for a healthy relationship.
Understand the Source of Doubts
Identify and understand the root cause of doubts to address them effectively.
We started on the topic of Handling affairs in marriage difficult. We started on this topic yesterday and I established the fact that it is a difficult situation to handle for the spouse.
It is better prevented than experienced.
Handling affairs in marriage is difficult. The pain and hurt of the betrayal of an affair is in different categories. There are more painful experiences than others.
Imagine the pain of someone having a full-blown sexual affair with your house help or having an affair with your sister or brother or with your best friend or even with someone who needed your help and offered to help.
The pain of being cheated and taken for a fool is best described as a dagger piercing ones soul.
That is why, the spouse of the erring spouse must allow the Lord heal his/her soul completely.
The first response is that of frustration and revenge.
It is to be noted that our response to handling this issue (i.e handling affairs in marriage) can never be in the flesh. If we must handle things well, we should never allow our flesh to gain ascendancy over our spirit.
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1 KJV
The only way to avoid condemnation is to walk in the spirit.
The devil seeks to accuse us to God even in the midst of that very difficult situation. He wants to accuse us so that the unity and agreement needed as a couple to break the backbone of lust is broken.
When the spouse that is supposed to stand in the gap to the erring spouse is bitter and offended against the spouse that needs help, how will there be total victory and complete deliverance?
Hear me, I am not saying or pushing the responsibility to be free in the hands of the other spouse, I’m only saying it puts the enemy to shame faster.
Imagine if someone comes to accuse your son to you for stealing your money expecting you to flog him, it will be the son’s privilege and he will forever be grateful if you don’t join the outsider to condemn him but show him mercy.
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: Matthew 6:14 KJV
The outsider cannot do anything except the father agrees with the outsider to punish his son.
I am not undermining disciplining a child when wrong. It is just an analogy to tell us you don’t have to join the enemy in disciplining or correcting your son. You will punish your son but not in the presence of the outsider. It is a family issue and should be handled as such.
Likewise handle the erring spouse infidelity as such. Once again, this is done by being in the spirit.
Let’s continue on the issue of handling affairs in marriage
3. Walk in the spirit
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16 KJV
If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Galatians 5:25 KJV
Our flesh is what seeks expression when we feel we have been violated. The flesh wants to respond in retaliation. The flesh wants to fight back but we must go by the way of the cross when it comes to the issue of handling affairs in marriage.
It takes unconditional love to forgive and keep forgiving even when the erring spouse is in the wrong.
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21 – 22 KJV
It takes a conscious walk in the spirit to do this. If it were not possible, Jesus would have not said it. But that he said it means it is possible.
Jesus will definitely give us grace. This Grace is available for us if we will embrace it. If we are willing and obedient, he will give us this grace to forgive.
But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. James 4:6 KJV
Let’s trust God to help us. No matter how far stretched we are, God still has more Grace to give to us.
I will stop here today and continue tomorrow on handling affairs in marriage
God bless our marriage and protect us from the powers of darkness.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be faithful to my partner.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY My Father, help me to keep my marriage vows.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY James 4:7 (ESV): Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Open up to your spouse, if there be any issues
