Were we attracted to each other? Yes, and certainly! A lot of deeply spiritual folk will tell you that attraction doesn’t matter, but I am telling you right now, it matters.
Marriage is truly made in heaven, but it is lived here on earth. You can receive your spouse from heaven, but both of you will eventually tabernacle here on planet earth!
After marriage, all other people will not suddenly become ugly. That is why people who have no fear of God still go into extra-marital relationships.
Attraction Factor In Relationships and Marriages
I have had to counsel people who are in a relationship and would say they didn’t really like their partner but since God said he or she is the one. You see, something is obviously missing here. God is not an author of confusion, and He would not lead you to somebody you dislike forever.
Yes, it is possible you do not resonate with a particular person God leads you to when you are busy looking elsewhere, but the moment you embrace God’s plan, you will indeed love the person.
But there would never be a situation where God forces you to marry somebody you don’t like or somebody you hate.
A situation where you get depressed over how your spouse looks three days after the wedding needs not happen!
You won’t believe that the reason a lot of people are scared about asking God for who to marry is that they don’t want God to lead them to somebody they will hate. God is intelligent, much more intelligent than all the intelligence of the entire brains of the human race combined!
Attraction Factor In Relationships and Marriages
It is only God that knows the person who will be attracted to you and you will be attracted to, not just today, but also in some ten and twenty years’ time. People change over time.
Beyond physical attraction, therefore, there must be an inner attraction. Beyond the fact that she is thin or slim or lepacious, you must love her because, over time, a lepacious woman can become orobo! Figure eight can fast become figure football! What happens after that?
The reality you must accept is that your spouse will not look the same after twenty or thirty years of marriage. Attraction must be deeper than physical appearance because appearance changes over time!
For me, I have remained slim like I used to be, I only added a little and my tummy has been trying to come out, but I have been casting out all the calories. My wife is more rounded, but she has been trying to lay aside the weight as well.
Attraction Factor In Relationships and Marriages
As married couples, do not look on when you see the weight is traveling to where you don’t want to camp. Follow her to the gym if you have to. Take precautions. Do not eat late. Reduce taking “swallow” if you have to! Stay with each other and walk the walk together.
As married couples, keep the attraction on fire. Keep dressing for him within and without the home. He is moved by sight! Never forget that! Good morning
The scripture clearly identifies the importance of physical attraction when it comes to marriage.
God in His wisdom knows that if a man does not derive satisfaction from his wife, he would seek it else where, which of course will not only be detrimental to him, but to his whole family.
So, God advises the man:
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings (Proverbs 5:18-21 KJV)
In other words, what God wants is that you focus on your wife and not somebody out there. He said all your ways are before Him and He will inquire about everything you do. More or less, the affair that you think is secret is actually open to God.
As a single, you don’t want to spiritualise everything and say attraction doesn’t matter! It matters a lot!
Marry somebody you like and you love, a friend you can play with and laugh with. That is why the scripture says, “…rejoice with the wife of thy youth.“ The Importance of Body Chemistry
You also need to know that God will not force anybody on you. This idea that you are marrying somebody not because you love the person but because God said so is defective.
As a lady, when a guy walks up to you and tells you that God has spoken to Him, you also need to hear God as well.
Now, we have established that physical attraction is very important! But there is a balance! Physical attraction alone is not the only thing that determines your choice! See the scripture.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 KJV)
Message Translation says:
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear–of– God. (Proverbs 31:30 Message)
So we see here, the only thing shouldn’t be outward beauty, but also inner beauty.
It is okay if she has hot legs, but her heart must also be hot for God! A hot leg without a hot heart will get your hands burnt at the end.
So in man or in a woman, I should have attraction for him or her, while he or she must have attraction for God.
This is very important!
In conclusion, no lady should ever think she is not beautiful. There is nothing like that. You are beautiful and you should believe it.
Have you not seen some of the most handsome men (in your opinion) get married to some of the most ugly ladies? (again, in your opinion) And then such men would say their wives are beautiful! You see, beauty is in the beholder’s eyes!
When your husband sees you, regardless of how you think you look, he will love you and will tell you that you are beautiful.
So, you can help yourself and your esteem by looking at the mirror daily and pointing to who you see there and say, “you are beautiful!” The Importance of Body Chemistry
If some people have told you that you are ugly, it is okay. You are wonderfully and fearfully made, so says the scripture. That means you will be “wonderful” to some and you will be “fearful” to others. Certainly when your spouse sets eyes on you, you will be “wonderful!”
So be patient and wait for the salvation of God in your marriage.
May God help us all.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a child of God. I am beautiful
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will be your wisdom and strength
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it (Proverbs 31:10-11 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write down what you want in a spouse.
Break-ups eventually occur if relationships are not built on strong biblical principles and foundation.
There are five processes or stages a relationship has to pass through progressively to avoid possible break-ups.
1. Attraction
There must be physical attraction between both parties. Never start a relationship with someone you are not physically attracted to. God will not force anybody on you. Moreover you will be doing yourself a lot of good when you marry somebody you are attracted to, so that your eyes can be on your spouse only!
However, the relationship cannot thrive on attraction alone. It must move on to the next stage. This is the stage you are all over each other.
God help you if you are writing an examination at this time, when you open your books to read, you see his/her face! It happened to me, I got engaged to my wife at examination time! Thank God I didn’t fail.
This is the time you feel your partner is right and every other person is wrong. You need to be careful at this time, making sure your relationship with God is intact so that you can still hear Him speak to you. What is the next stage?
2. Disturbance
This is the stage when the parties begin to realize their differences, and see in other people qualities they admire.
If their love is not genuine, the relationship is certain to collapse here. They start picking on themselves here. The guy begins to reason properly and the lady begins to get hurt easily.
He starts complaining that she has changed and vice-versa, but in reality, none has changed, they just suddenly start seeing what they refused to see before.
Love blinded them initially, but the eyes begin to open!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient. I am not hasty. I am led of God
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive the grace to be patient in Jesus name. I receive help from God’s Spirit to stay with God’s plan for my life and relationship
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. – James 1:2-3 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Locate which stage you may be right now and discuss with your fiancée on how to pull through
