This is one of the questions people ask in our couples’ meeting. They want to know how to handle a spouse that you seem to be doing everything possible yet they seem not to be responding to your efforts.
They often leave their spouses frustrated and sometimes some of them think of a separation or divorce.
Your spouse could be difficult in so many ways. Couples have very different personalities. We are born to different cultures, we have different ways of viewing situations and interpreting them, in short, we have different ways and methods of doing everything. Including how we eat, talk, dress,
All these could and much more could lead to one spouse frustrating the other.
I know it’s difficult when your spouse is frustrating you. You have to develop staying power and not give up on your spouse. If the tables were turned around and you are the one that has issues, you will want your spouse not to give up on you.
Here are a few hints that will help
When you have a spouse that is difficult you have to pray because only God can change a person. It takes God to step in and visit the heart and make it right again. Most issues we face in marriage are as a result of habits we develop a long time ago. Some of these issues also have a spiritual root. When we pray we are taking the matter to the creator who can create a permanent change. We pray what we want to see, we don’t pray about the problem. We pray scriptures as the Holy Spirit gives us utterance.
Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. – Mar 9:23
You have to know that the problems will not be solved in a day. There are a lot of things that will be unlearnt in the process and it takes time. God is working behind the scenes and He doesn’t do magic, He works by His principles. You have to give your spouse time to change and expect the change too soon. He or she will change eventually if you don’t give up too soon. Keep trusting God and you will see your heart’s desires.
But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. – Rom 8:25
3. Do your part
You have to keep doing your own part of the marriage while you expect your spouse to change for the better. You don’t stop your part of the covenant. The covenant has to be serviced so that God can honor the marriage.
And now let me speak to the wives. Be devoted to your own husbands, so that even if some of them do not obey the Word of God, your kind conduct may win them over without you saying a thing – 1Pe 3:1
4. Get a counselor
When a crisis arise, you have to seek help in the right place, from the right people, and at the right time. It is not the issue that is a deal it is who you talk to when things are not so good.
Some people will have talked to everybody except the person anointed to help them. God anoints people to help us solve problems. Don’t talk to your parents, friends, a colleague at work, people in the church, your family, your spouse’s family, lawyer, etc.
Talk to a good counselor preferably a pastor. Let him put the issues together by God’s Grace and anointing on his life. He will not always tell you what you want to hear but he will put the situations together.
Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out – Pro 20:5
May God grant us Grace and give us strength in difficult times.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will cooperate with my spouse
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY
Pray for your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief – we’re not oblivious to his sly ways! (2Co 2:11 MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Read the devotional meditatively
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
REVIVE – Morning Devotion Prayers For Today
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