Help, We Don’t Understand Each other
This is an issue faced by young and old couples alike. You and your spouse are different and this will have different perspectives.
Understanding each other is about getting your spouse to see your viewpoint. It requires effective communication and understanding.
Both of you have to be willing and ready to work at your marriage. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or with the marriage.
Help, We Don’t Understand Each other
Here are some tips to help you convey your perspective:
1. Choose the Right Time:
Pick a moment when both of you are calm and receptive to discussion.
2. Stay Calm and Respectful: Approach the conversation with a composed demeanor and avoid becoming defensive or confrontational.
3. Active Listening:
First, listen to your spouse’s viewpoint attentively. Show empathy and understanding towards their thoughts and feelings.
4. Use “I” Statements:
Express your viewpoint using “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, “I feel” or “I think” rather than “You always” or “You never.”
5. Provide Specific Examples: Support your viewpoint with concrete examples and evidence to help your spouse better understand your perspective.
Help, We Don’t Understand Each other
6. Find Common Ground:
Identify areas where your viewpoints align and build on those shared interests or beliefs.
7. Avoid Blame Game:
Refrain from blaming or criticizing your spouse during the conversation. Focus on the issue at hand without making it personal.
8. Acknowledge Their Perspective:
Validate your spouse’s viewpoint, even if you don’t fully agree. Show that you respect their thoughts and feelings.
9. Be Patient:
Changing viewpoints takes time, so be patient and allow your spouse to process the information.
10. Give Space:
If the conversation becomes too intense, take breaks if needed, and revisit the discussion when both of you are ready.
Help, We Don’t Understand Each other
11. Collaborate:
Frame the conversation as a collaborative effort to find a solution that works for both of you.
12. Seek Professional Help:
If necessary, consider seeking the assistance of a professional therapist or counselor to facilitate the conversation.
Remember, the goal is not necessarily to make your spouse adopt your viewpoint but to foster understanding and find common ground. Respectful communication and empathy are key to productive discussions in any relationship.
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