And it is definitely not “if it’s meant to be, it will be.”
Love is work.
It’s showing up on days you’d rather check out.
It’s choosing to pray together when talking feels hard.
It’s saying “yes” to service when your body says “rest.”
Singles—don’t just pray for love, prepare for labour… prepare to work it out. Marriage is a responsibility, so you have to be responsible in order to do marriage well. Can you wake up daily and keep choosing one person? Can you plant seeds of kindness even when you’re not in the mood? Can you lose sight of yourself in order to care for another?
Couples—remember, butterflies don’t keep flying forever. You must build the love you have. Think of it as a garden. That therefore means planting, watering, and weeding. Keep planting new memories again and again. Keep pouring into your spouse’s emotional tank. Then water with patience and weed out bitterness and comparison.
Love does not thrive because feelings are always there, but because work never stops.
Let us not grow weary in DOING good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.Galatians 6:9
Don’t give up. Keep working. That’s how love lasts.
More Ways to Tell You Are in Love is a continuation of yesterday’s devotional.
5. You Feel Inspired to Be Better
True love motivates personal growth. When you care deeply for someone, you’re inspired to become the best version of yourself—not out of obligation, but because you genuinely want to honor them.
Philippians 2:3-4 urges us to value others above ourselves, considering their interests as more important than our own. Love fuels transformation, drawing you closer to God’s purpose for your life.
6. You Miss Them When They’re Gone
Even short periods apart feel longer than usual. Missing someone isn’t just about physical presence—it’s missing the sense of wholeness and connection they bring into your life.
Psalm 27:4 speaks of desiring God’s presence continually; similarly, love makes you long for the warmth and fulfillment only they seem to provide.
7. You Pray for Them Regularly
If you find yourself lifting them up in prayer—asking God to bless, protect, and guide them—it’s a clear sign that love has taken hold. Interceding on their behalf demonstrates a depth of care that goes beyond surface-level affection.
James 5:16 reminds us that “the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
Loving someone means entrusting them to God’s hands.
Final Thought:
Finding out you are in love is both exhilarating and humbling—a divine reminder of how God designed us for connection, intimacy, and partnership. These tell-tale signs reveal the gradual blossoming of affection, rooted in mutual respect, vulnerability, and shared purpose.
However, it’s essential to ensure that love aligns with biblical principles. Love should reflect Christ’s sacrificial example, honoring God’s design for relationships. As you navigate this journey, pray for discernment and wisdom. Ask yourself: Does this love point me closer to God? Is it built on trust, purity, and commitment?
Remember, love isn’t just a fleeting emotion—it’s a choice to cherish, serve, and grow together under God’s guidance. Whether you’re falling in love now or preparing for it in the future, let your heart remain anchored in His truth. For “love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7).
Love sharpens your awareness of the small details about them—the way they laugh, their favorite song, or how they tilt their head when thinking. These seemingly insignificant traits suddenly feel incredibly special because they remind you of who they are.
Song of Solomon 2:14 celebrates these intimate observations, showing how love causes us to cherish every aspect of the beloved.
2. You Want to Spend Every Moment Together
Time with them feels like a gift you never want to end. Even mundane activities—like grocery shopping or sitting in silence—become enjoyable simply because they’re by your side.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 highlights the beauty of companionship: “Two are better than one… for if they fall, one will lift up the other.”
This longing for constant togetherness is a hallmark of falling in love.
3. Your Heart Races Around Them
Physical signs of attraction often accompany emotional attachment. Butterflies in your stomach, racing heartbeats, or nervous excitement are all physiological responses to the growing bond between you.
Song of Solomon 4:9 beautifully captures this feeling: “You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes.”
4. You Start Imagining a Future Together
As love deepens, you naturally start envisioning shared milestones—what life might look like years down the road. From holidays to career goals, you begin aligning your dreams with theirs.
Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
Trusting God while dreaming alongside them reflects love’s hopeful nature.
Falling in love is one of the most beautiful and transformative experiences we can encounter. It’s a journey marked by deep connection, vulnerability, and joy—but it often sneaks up on us before we even realize it. While every relationship is unique, there are universal signs that reveal when you’re falling in love. Here are some tell-tale indicators to help you recognize this sacred process.
1. You Can’t Stop Thinking About Them
When you’re falling in love, your mind becomes a constant stream of thoughts about the other person. Whether it’s replaying conversations, imagining future moments together, or simply wondering how their day went, they occupy a significant space in your heart and mind.
Philippians 4:8 reminds us to dwell on things that are praiseworthy—and if your thoughts about them bring peace and gratitude, it’s a good sign.
2. You Feel Safe Sharing Your True Self
Love creates a safe haven where you feel free to be vulnerable. When you’re falling for someone, you’ll find yourself opening up about your fears, dreams, and struggles without fear of judgment.
Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to speak truthfully in love, fostering an environment of trust and authenticity. If you feel comfortable being completely “you” around them, it’s likely love taking root.
3. Their Happiness Matters as Much as Yours
A defining characteristic of love is selflessness. As you fall in love, their joys become your joys, and their sorrows weigh heavily on your heart. You begin prioritizing their well-being over your own comfort.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes love as patient, kind, and not self-seeking—a reflection of how deeply invested you’ve become in their happiness.
Instead of vague “looking for adventure” nonsense, you’re honest: “I’m looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage. I value faith, family, and Friday nights in, more than clubbing.”
2) On the First Date:
You’re upfront about your non-negotiables: “Faith is really important to me. I’m looking for someone who shares that foundation for my love life.”
3) In Early Conversations:
You share your actual life goals, past struggles, and what you’ve learned, not a sanitized highlight reel.
4) When Conflicts Arise:
You address them immediately with kindness and clarity, rather than letting resentment build. God doesn’t just recommend honesty, He commands it as the foundation of all healthy relationships:
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:6-7)
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. (Proverbs 24:26)
When someone values your honesty, that’s when you know you’ve found something real. Yes, it requires courage. Yes, it means risking rejection. But you gain the possibility of real, lasting love with someone who actually knows you and chooses you anyway.
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (John 8:32)
Maybe it’s time to stop hiding and get loud about who you really are. The right person isn’t looking for a perfect performance; they’re looking for an honest heart, and that’s something worth finding.
Why Radical Honesty is Revolutionizing Relationships
The dating game is changing. And honestly? It’s about time. Stop me if you’ve heard this before: Three months into a relationship, you discover your partner wants completely different things in life. Or worse, they’ve been hiding who they really are, wearing a mask just to impress you. Sound familiar?
Welcome to 2025, where a new trend called “Loud Looking” is flipping the script on modern dating. And surprisingly, it looks a lot like what the Bible has been teaching for thousands of years.
What is “Loud Looking?
Loud Looking is the practice of being radically transparent from day one. No games, pretence, or holding back your true intentions, flaws, or deal-breakers until you’re safely in a relationship. It’s about being loud and clear about who you are and what you want immediately.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.(Ephesians 4:25)
God designed us to be truthful with each other because we’re interconnected. When you hide your true self from someone you’re dating, you’re not just being dishonest, you’re preventing a real connection from happening.
For years, dating culture has taught us to:
Hide our “crazy” until they’re hooked
Downplay our needs to seem “low maintenance”
Pretend we don’t want commitment when we actually do
Filter ourselves to be more “dateable”
The reality is that you will attract someone who likes the filtered version of you, not the real you. Then you spend months or years trying to maintain an exhausting performance, only to have it all fall apart when reality catches up.
Jesus had something to say about this, too:
Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. (Matthew 5:37)
Stop playing games. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Be who you are.
Tomorrow, I will share with us what “loud looking” looks like.
Yesterday, we talked about some ‘dos’ in godly dating. Today, we will explore the ‘don’ts’.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.2 Corinthians 6:14
1. Don’t trade your values to keep someone.
If you have to compromise your convictions to make a relationship work, then that relationship is costing you too much. Love that forces you to disobey God is not love—it’s bondage.
2. Don’t ignore the red flags
That uneasy feeling you keep brushing aside? That habit that bothers you, but you convince yourself, “they’ll change”? Those things matter. Red flags ignored today usually become heartbreak tomorrow.
3. Don’t rush the intimacy.
Love takes time to grow. When physical or emotional intimacy comes too quickly, it blinds you from seeing clearly. Slow down. If it’s real, it won’t die because you took your time.
4. Don’t date just because you feel lonely.
Loneliness has pushed many people into relationships that were never God’s plan. If you are dating only to fill a void, you’ll end up settling for less than you deserve. Learn to enjoy your own company with God first.
5. Don’t let people’s pressure dictate your choices.
Family, friends, even culture will try to rush you—“When will you marry? Why are you still single?” But remember: it’s your life, and it belongs to God. His timing may not match their timeline, but it is always perfect.
Conclusion
Godly dating is not about being uptight or following endless rules. It’s about being wise, protecting your heart, and building something that glorifies God.
Dating is one of those things that everyone has advice about. Some people make it sound casual, like it is not that deep, while others overcomplicate it. But here’s the truth: dating matters because your heart is involved, and who you give your heart to can shape your life.
God never meant for dating to feel like guesswork. He gave us principles to protect us, not to cage us.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.2 Corinthians 6:14
Let’s talk through some very practical “do’s that can help you keep God at the center while protecting your heart.
1. Pray first, not last.
Too often, people start dating and then only run to God when things get messy. But prayer should come first. Before saying “yes” to someone, talk to God about it. While you are in it, keep praying.
Prayer keeps you sensitive to warning signs, helps you see beyond emotions, and anchors you when things get shaky.
2. Be yourself, don’t fake it
Do not try to act like someone you are not just to impress the other person. If you are passionate about your faith, say it. If you have boundaries, be open about them.
Pretending only leads to disappointment later. The right relationship will allow you to be fully you without shame.
3. Watch their actions, not just what they say.
It is easy for someone to say all the right things, but words without action are empty. Pay attention: Do they live out their faith, or is it just talk?
Actions will always reveal character more than sweet promises.
4. Push each other closer to God.
A godly relationship should make you grow spiritually, not shrink. If praying together, studying Scripture, or encouraging each other in your walk with God feels awkward in your relationship, pause and think.
The best relationships are the ones that don’t just make you happy but also make you holy.
Boundaries are not about fear or being “too spiritual.” They are about respect—for yourself, for the other person, and for God. Talk about them early. Stick to them.
When you cross them, regret often follows. When you honor them, peace follows.
6 Smart Ways to Support an Insecure Fiancé Before Saying ‘I Do’
Insecurity in a relationship can show up in many ways — jealousy, control, fear of losing you, constant suspicion, or a need for reassurance. If you notice your fiancé struggles with insecurity, don’t ignore it. It’s better to face it now than to fight it later in marriage.
Here are six practical ways to handle it wisely:
1. Don’t Take It Personal — Understand the Root
Insecurity often has a root — past hurt, rejection, family issues, or low self-worth. Instead of getting defensive, take time to understand where it’s coming from. Ask gentle questions, listen, and show empathy.
A soft answer turns away wrath. – Proverbs 15:1
Instead of saying, “You’re too jealous!”, you can say, “I notice you get worried when I talk to others; is there something I can do to help you feel more secure?”
2. Reassure Him — But Don’t Feed the Fear
Everyone needs reassurance, but constant validation can create dependency. Be affirming without encouraging insecurity.
Encourage one another and build each other up. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Occasionally remind him that you love and value him, but also encourage him to find his confidence in God, not in your attention alone.
3. Set Clear Boundaries Early
If insecurity leads to controlling behavior (checking your phone, monitoring your moves, isolating you), set healthy boundaries now. It’s a red flag if it goes unchecked.
Let your ‘Yes’ be yes and your ‘No,’ no. – Matthew 5:37
Explain that trust is the foundation of love, and boundaries are not rejection — they’re protection for both hearts.
4. Pray Together About It
Bring the issue before God in prayer. The Holy Spirit can do what words cannot. Insecurity is often a heart issue that only God can fully heal.
Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.– 1 Peter 5:7
Make prayer a regular part of your relationship. It keeps hearts open and teaches both of you to depend on God, not each other.
5. Encourage Personal Growth and Healing
Don’t try to fix him — encourage him to grow. Suggest counseling, mentorship, or personal reflection.
The truth shall make you free. – John 8:32
If he’s open, suggest premarital counseling or reading books on emotional maturity together. Growth before marriage brings peace after marriage.
6. Know When to Pause or Walk Away
If insecurity turns toxic — constant suspicion, verbal abuse, or control — don’t ignore it. Marriage doesn’t cure insecurity; it magnifies it.
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. – Proverbs 4:23
Seek godly counsel. It’s better to delay a wedding than to live in lifelong emotional bondage.
Final Thought:
True love is not built on fear but on trust. You can support your fiancé, but he must also take responsibility for his healing. Build your relationship on God’s truth, not insecurity.
6 Smart Ways to Support an Insecure Fiancé Before Saying ‘I Do’
For singles, the “talking stage” can be exciting. You’re getting to know someone, conversations feel endless, and hope is high. But many hearts have been broken here—not because of love lost, but because of love assumed.
Guard your heart. Don’t start calling someone “my man” or “my woman” just because you’ve been talking for a few weeks. Clarity protects emotions. Don’t assume, seek clarity. Ask, “What are we doing?” Someone who is serious will not be afraid to define their intentions.
Couples, guarding your heart matters too. You’re married, yes—but guard it from distractions, from emotional bonds with others, from careless comparisons. Affairs don’t usually start in the bedroom; they start with unchecked conversations… they start in the mind.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.Proverbs 4:23
Guarding your heart in the talking stage is not about suspicion; it’s about wisdom.
Whether single or married, don’t let emotions outrun clarity. Protect your heart so it remains whole for the one God has truly given you.
Life’s storms are inevitable i.e financial struggles, health challenges, misunderstandings, or external pressures. But when a couple stands firm together in Christ, these storms do not destroy; they strengthens.
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. (Matthew 7:24–25)
The key to standing firm is building your relationship on the solid foundation of God’s Word. A marriage built on emotions or convenience will falter when trials come, but one anchored in Christ remains unshaken.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. (Isaiah 43:2)
God’s presence sustains couples in their darkest hours.
Storms also reveal the strength of unity. When husband and wife choose to face trials together, praying, encouraging, and lifting each other up, they overcome what would otherwise break them apart.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)
Every storm is an opportunity for growth. So, instead of focusing on the hardship, focus on what God is teaching your marriage. Challenges can deepen intimacy, build faith, and produce testimonies that inspire others. With Christ at the center, couples can declare with confidence: The storm may rage, but our foundation is unshakable.
Falling in love is beautiful, but sustaining it after saying yes is where real work begins. Whether you’re single, preparing for marriage, or already married, love needs daily nurturing to thrive. Here are practical steps to keep that flame burning.
1. Keep God at the Center
Every lasting relationship stands on a solid foundation. That foundation is God.
Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it – Psalm 127:1, NKJV.
Praying together, studying the Word, and seeking God’s guidance create spiritual unity. A relationship built on Him can weather storms.
2. Communicate with Openness and Grace
Love flourishes in honest, kind communication. Don’t bottle up feelings or expect your partner to read your mind.
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt– Colossians 4:6, NIV.
Speak truthfully, listen patiently, and respond with empathy.
3. Choose Forgiveness Daily
No relationship is perfect. Offenses will come, but forgiveness keeps bitterness from taking root.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you– Ephesians 4:32, NIV.
Holding grudges only builds walls; forgiveness builds bridges.
4. Keep the Spark Alive
Intentional effort is needed to keep romance vibrant. Plan date nights, share surprises, laugh together, and celebrate small wins. For singles, this means learning to nurture love beyond the butterflies—through acts of service, patience, and consistency.
5. Grow Together, Not Apart
As life changes, keep evolving together. Support each other’s dreams, pray over each other, and face challenges as a team.
Two are better than one… for if they fall, one will lift up his companion – Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, NKJV.
Final Thought
Saying “Yes” is just the beginning. Sustaining love is a journey of daily choices—anchored in God, seasoned with grace, and strengthened by intentionality. Whether single or married, commit to nurturing your love story so it reflects Christ’s enduring love.
Unspoken assumptions or mismatched expectations create unnecessary conflict. Whether it’s differing views on finances, family, or future plans, failing to address these issues early on sets the stage for disappointment.
Solution: Communicate openly and honestly about your beliefs, goals, and boundaries. Discuss practical matters like career aspirations, parenting styles, and financial management to ensure alignment.
2. Cultural Influences Over Biblical Principles
The world promotes ideas about love and relationships that contradict God’s design. Casual hookups, cohabitation before marriage, and prioritizing physical intimacy over emotional and spiritual connection undermine lasting bonds.
Solution: Anchor your dating practices in Scripture. Study passages like Ephesians 5:21-33 and 1 Corinthians 7 to understand God’s blueprint for relationships. Reject cultural norms that dishonor His plan for love and marriage.
3. Neglecting Personal Growth
Healthy relationships start with healthy individuals. If you’re not actively growing spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, you risk bringing immaturity or baggage into dating.
Galatians 6:4-5 calls us to test our own actions and carry our load responsibly.
Solution: Focus on becoming the best version of yourself before pursuing a partner. Develop qualities like patience, kindness, humility, and self-control. A strong foundation prepares you to contribute positively to a relationship.
Final Thought:
Dating doesn’t have to flop—it can be a meaningful journey when approached with wisdom, intentionality, and reliance on God. By avoiding common pitfalls such as unclear purpose, emotional infatuation, ignoring red flags, and neglecting personal growth, you position yourself for success.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.Psalm 37:4
As you seek first His kingdom and righteousness (Matthew 6:33), trust that He will guide you to the right person—or help you embrace singleness as a season of preparation and blessing.
Whether you’re currently dating or preparing for future relationships, commit to honoring God in every interaction. Let love flow from a place of obedience and faith, knowing that His plans for you are good and His timing is perfect. After all, true love doesn’t just happen—it’s cultivated through surrender to His will.
How to avoid pitfalls while dating is a continuation of yesterday’s devotional. If you missed it, you can read it HERE.
1. Prioritizing Emotions Over Commitment
Modern dating culture often emphasizes “testing the waters” through casual relationships, which can lead to broken hearts and damaged trust.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 highlights the importance of seasons—there’s a time for everything, including serious commitment.
Solution: Approach dating with seriousness and integrity. Avoid playing games or stringing someone along. If you’re not ready for marriage, consider waiting until you are before pursuing romantic relationships.
2. Failing to Involve God
When God isn’t at the center of dating, decisions become self-centered and shortsighted.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.Jeremiah 17:9
Relying solely on emotions or personal judgment leads to poor choices.
Solution: Pray consistently for discernment and direction. Invite God into every step of the process, trusting His timing and provision. Seek partners who prioritize their relationship with Him above worldly desires.
3. Rushing the Process
Impatience often sabotages dating. In our fast-paced world, there’s pressure to find “the one” quickly, leading to premature commitments or unrealistic expectations.
Isaiah 40:31 encourages us to wait on the Lord: “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”
Solution: Be willing to invest time in getting to know someone deeply. Allow relationships to develop naturally, focusing on building trust and understanding rather than rushing toward milestones.
4. Settling for Less Than God’s Best
Fear of being alone or societal pressures can cause people to settle for partners who don’t align with God’s standards.
Malachi 2:15 reminds us that God seeks godly offspring and desires marriages rooted in holiness.
Solution: Hold out for someone who reflects Christlike character and shares your faith. Don’t compromise on non-negotiables like purity, honesty, and spiritual alignment. Remember, God’s best is always worth the wait.
Dating is often seen as the gateway to finding a lifelong partner, but for many, it ends in disappointment, frustration, or heartbreak. While dating itself isn’t inherently wrong, its misalignment with biblical principles and godly intentions can lead to failure. If your dating experiences have flopped, it’s worth examining why—and seeking God’s wisdom to navigate relationships His way.
Here are some common reasons dating falters and how to avoid these pitfalls.
1. Lack of Clear Purpose
Many people enter dating without a clear understanding of their goals. Are you dating casually, seeking friendship, or pursuing marriage? Without purpose, dating becomes aimless and prone to confusion.
Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.Proverbs 4:26
Solution: Define your intentions before entering a relationship. Ask yourself;
“Am I ready for marriage?”
“Does this person share my values and vision?”
Seek guidance from Scripture and trusted mentors to ensure your motives align with God’s will.
2. Emotional Infatuation Over True Compatibility
Infatuation—often mistaken for love—is fleeting and based on feelings rather than substance. It thrives on superficial attraction or excitement but lacks depth.
Song of Solomon warns against rushing into romance without wisdom (Song of Solomon 2:7).
Solution: Focus on building a foundation of friendship and shared values before pursuing a deeper commitment. Evaluate whether the person demonstrates spiritual maturity, character, and compatibility beyond physical appeal.
3. Ignoring Red Flags
Sometimes, we overlook warning signs because we’re blinded by emotions or desperate for connection. Behaviors like dishonesty, disrespect, or unresolved baggage should never be ignored.
Matthew 7:15-20 reminds us that bad fruit reveals unhealthy roots.
Solution: Trust your instincts and seek counsel from wise believers if something feels off. Don’t justify harmful behaviors or hope they’ll change overnight. Healthy relationships require mutual respect and accountability.
How Men Can Handle Their Fiancée’s Insecurities Before Marriage
1. Reassure Her Constantly
Insecurity often grows where there’s uncertainty. Be intentional about reassuring her of your love and commitment. Tell her often that she’s important to you, not just in words but through actions.
Perfect love casts out fear. — 1 John 4:18
When love is expressed genuinely, it helps silence her fears.
2. Be Consistent and Transparent
Avoid giving mixed signals. Consistency builds trust. Keep your promises, show up when you say you will, and be open about your friendships, plans, and priorities.
If she doesn’t have to guess where she stands with you, her insecurity will begin to fade.
3. Listen to Her Feelings Without Judging
Don’t dismiss her insecurities as “drama” or “immaturity.” Listen to understand, not to argue. Many women just want to be heard and understood.
Ask, “What makes you feel this way?” — and truly pay attention.
Empathy disarms insecurity faster than correction.
4. Set Clear Boundaries With Other Women
Respect builds safety. Let her see that she’s the only woman who has your emotional attention. Avoid flirty or secretive behavior with other women, especially online.
Abstain from all appearance of evil. — 1 Thessalonians 5:22
Protecting her heart from doubt is part of loving her well.
5. Help Her Grow in Her Identity in Christ
Encourage her to see herself the way God sees her — loved, chosen, and valuable. Pray with her and speak life over her.
Send her a scripture or affirmation like, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).
Remind her that her worth isn’t based on comparison or fear but on God’s love.
6. Be Patient as She Heals
Insecurity may come from past heartbreak, rejection, or low self-esteem. Don’t get frustrated if she’s not “fixed” quickly. Healing takes time, and your steady love can help her bloom.
Love is patient, love is kind…— 1 Corinthians 13:4
Before marriage, your role is to create an atmosphere of trust, love, and spiritual growth. If both of you overcome insecurities before saying “I do,” you’ll build a stronger, more secure foundation for your future home.
Tobi and Amaka had just argued. Tobi knew he was wrong, but pride kept his lips sealed. Amaka waited for the words “I’m sorry,” but instead she got silence. Days passed, tension grew, and what started as a small spark became a wall between them.
Does that sound familiar? For some, saying “sorry” feels harder than climbing a mountain. But here’s the truth: apologies heal wounds faster than silence ever will.
Dear Singles, don’t ignore this in dating. If the person you’re with never admits fault, pay attention. A heart that cannot bend in humility will eventually break under pride. The ability to say “I was wrong” is a sign of maturity, not weakness.
And you, too, are you humble enough to apologise?
Couples, hear this: stop waiting for the other person to blink first. If you were wrong, say so quickly. Even if you were not wrong but your words hurt, apologise for the pain caused. Forgiveness flows where humility leads.
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.Proverbs 28:13
Don’t let pride kill love. It’s not about who wins—it’s about keeping the bond alive. “I’m sorry” might just save your relationship more than you realise.
Marriage is not only about companionship and love; it is also a calling to serve God together. When two people unite under Christ, their home becomes a platform for ministry. Joshua declared, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). This statement captures the essence of a Christ-centered marriage that serves God as one.
When couples view marriage as a shared ministry, they see beyond their personal desires and embrace kingdom purpose. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” The third strand in every successful Christian marriage is Christ, who strengthens the bond and empowers the couple to fulfill their divine assignment.
Serving together does not always mean standing on a pulpit. It can mean raising godly children, showing hospitality, giving generously, or simply being a light to neighbors and colleagues.
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. (Romans 12:10–11)
Marriage as ministry requires intentionality. It means praying together, setting spiritual goals as a family, and using your unique gifts in unity. When couples serve God together, their marriage becomes more than a partnership; it becomes a testimony of Christ’s love. Such a marriage not only strengthens the couple but also impacts their community and generations to come.
Emotional maturity is most times overlooked, but it is crucial in any healthy relationship. It shows itself in the ability to handle conflict calmly, take responsibility for mistakes, and respond to stress without resorting to hurtful words or actions. Someone who is emotionally mature does not overreact to small setbacks, can communicate their feelings clearly, and demonstrates patience and empathy toward others.
Choosing a partner who is emotionally grounded allows the relationship to grow in trust, understanding, and stability, rather than becoming a source of constant tension or drama.
4. Intentions and Goals
Before entering a relationship, it is important to understand why the person wants to be with you and what they hope to build together. Are they looking for a deep, meaningful connection that aligns with God’s purpose, or are they simply seeking convenience, validation, or temporary companionship?
It is also vital to consider whether their long-term goals—career, family, lifestyle, or ministry—complement your own. Misaligned intentions or incompatible goals often lead to misunderstanding, frustration, and heartbreak. Clarity in these areas ensures that your time and heart are invested wisely, with purpose rather than uncertainty.
5. Influence and Environment
A person is shaped by the company they keep, the habits they cultivate, and the environment they move in. Before pursuing a relationship, observe the people who surround them and the choices they make in daily life. Are these influences positive, encouraging, and aligned with godly principles? Or do they promote compromise, distraction, or unhealthy behaviors?
The environment someone lives in can subtly shape their character and decisions, which in turn impacts the relationship. Choosing a partner whose life reflects godly values strengthens the foundation of your connection and helps both of you grow closer to God.
Conclusion:
Relationships are not just I like you, you like me, they go beyond that, they are also about discernment, wisdom, and alignment with God. Take the time to reflect, observe, and pray deeply before allowing someone into your heart. A relationship entered with care, clarity, and guidance from the Spirit can strengthen your character, honor God, and lay a foundation for a healthy, lasting partnership.
Not every connection or attraction is meant to become a relationship. Many of us rush in, driven by feelings, loneliness, or the pressure of what others expect, without stopping to carefully consider whether the person and the timing align with God’s will.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23
A relationship is more than companionship; it has the power to shape your life, your character, and your spiritual walk. Before you allow someone to take a place in your heart, here are five important things to look out for
1. Character over Charm
It is easy to be drawn to someone’s charm, but charm alone is never enough to sustain a relationship. Words, gestures, and attention can be impressive at first, yet the true measure of a person lies in their character—how they act when no one is watching, how they treat people who cannot benefit them, and how they handle difficult situations.
Someone with strong character will be honest, reliable, and consistent, even when it is inconvenient or when mistakes are made. Choosing someone with genuine character protects your heart from unnecessary pain and lays a foundation of trust that charm alone cannot provide.
2. Spiritual Alignment
Spiritual alignment goes far beyond attending the same church or believing in the same doctrines. It is about sharing similar convictions, priorities, and a mutual desire to follow God wholeheartedly.
Before you pursue a relationship, consider whether this person will encourage your growth in faith, challenge you to become more Christlike, and honor God in their own life.
A relationship without spiritual alignment may feel comfortable at first, but over time, the differences in values and priorities will create tension and conflict. When both hearts are aligned with God, the relationship has a foundation that is far stronger than attraction alone.
