God has made it very easy for you. Focus only becomes effective when your attention and energy are on ONE thing! So what is that one thing? The moment there are two things, it is no longer focus. What is that one thing?
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. – Heb 12:2-3 KJV
So easy! Looking unto Jesus! That is as simple as you can see it. How do you look at Jesus? By looking at His word! Regularly! Continuously!
Why look at Jesus?
Because he is the author and finisher of your faith and your life! Your life is like a book and Jesus authored it! The book is not about to be written, it has been written and published. You are only acting out the script!
It becomes logical then to make sure you act well. You have to look at the author who is also the director of your life’s flick. Each chapter of the book is a portion and a season of your life. You have to keep on looking at Jesus and His word because the devil is always attempting to offer you what is never part of the script.
The moment you stop looking, focus is broken and there will be serious troubles, agony, and regrets.
How do I know that what God authored in the book are good things about me?
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. – Jer 29:11 KJV
Waoh! They are good stuff! I need to simply focus on Him!
Take a look at the message translation:
I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out–plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. – Jer 29:11 MSG
Glory to God! Make up your mind to focus on Him this year and see the result. There is joy set before you! God wants to take care of you! Seriously! Others may not know what is going on with your life, but God says emphatically, ‘I know what I am doing!’ He is the author!
When you focus on Him and His Word, you will come to discover a lot. There is a chapter He has authored about your relationship and courtship. There is a chapter He has authored about your marriage. As you focus on Him, you will effortlessly glide into His will and plan for your life! That is the benefit of focus!
There are some things you are going through that are never part of His original script because you have refused to focus on Him and probably compromised as a result.
However, despite every broken focus experience, if you make up your mind today to focus on Him, God can fast-forward, rewind, pause, stop, erase, cancel, add, rewrite, restore, and do anything for you! How will He do that? He is the author…not just that….but also the finisher! Glory to God!
He is the one that will finish the story! The devil does not have the final say! God does! Turn around today and decide to focus!
For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed. – Isa 50:7 KJV
Make up your mind. Set your face like a flint never to compromise again. God will help you and He will save you from imminent shame! Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am focused. I will not be distracted.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you focus and cause your face to be set like a flint
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 50:7 AMP For the Lord God helps Me; therefore have I not been ashamed or confounded. Therefore have I set My face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Consciously disengage yourself from every distraction
As I listened to God’s Spirit to know what I will write this morning, I heard something about focus. So I believe the few words you are about to read are heaven’s message for you this morning.
And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. – Luk 9:62 KJV
Dear married couple, I write to you this morning on one ingredient you need, not only in your marriage but in life.
It is called focus! I like the definition that says “To concentrate attention or energy.”
In this contemporaneous world filled with mega distractions, there is no such time as this when this message becomes relevant.
When the devil wants to trap you, he brings distractions. The moment you are enticed and yielded, the focus is broken and the process of what God is trying to do in your life becomes delayed.
A child of God attending night parties for example will have his or her focus broken. There are things they do at night parties that you wouldn’t be able to share testimonies about, so there is no point wasting your time in such places. It’s just distractions.
There are ungodly friends that you keep that can break your focus. Many a life has been ruined by wrong associations.
When you engage in adultery, it’s a distraction and your focus will be broken. No matter how nice the person is, what is wrong is wrong!
The moment you put your hand on the plough, a process about your life and the plan of God for you begins and it is gradually unveiled. The moment you start to compromise, you tamper with that process! You are not supposed to look back. Looking back is not a kingdom mentality.
In the amours of a believer listed in the book of Ephesians, only the back has no protection! Why? You are not meant to look back!
The question is what do you focus on?
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am focused. I will not be distracted.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you focus and cause your face to be set like a flint
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 50:7 AMP For the Lord God helps Me; therefore have I not been ashamed or confounded. Therefore have I set My face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Consciously disengage yourself from every distraction
The word vessel means receptacle. It is talking about your spirit man. When you serve God, that is oil in your lamp. When you climb the pulpit to preach, that is oil in your lamp. When you preach in the bus, that is oil in your lamp. When you work tirelessly, that is oil in your lamp. All those are necessary and they surely have their place, but when you do all of that to the detriment of personal devotional time with God, you are being careless with oil in your vessel.
That you sing in the choir will not compensate for the time you ought to be in God’s presence in the morning. That you resume at the workplace very early every day of the week will not make God understand your prayerlessness. Nothing will ever replace the time you spend in God’s presence daily!
Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps. – Mat 25:7 KJV
When they woke up, all of them trimmed their lamps, but sadly, the lamps of five of them were gone out!
You see, there comes a time when activities without priority on God’s presence will fail. There comes a time when energy and service bravado will fail! When the oil in the lamp goes out, it is the oil in your vessel that will save you!
When you are serving God passionately with your time, energy, and resources but are still embroiled in habitual sexual sins and other transgressions, you are just being foolish! Ouch! That hurts! But it is the truth!
It is the truth that will make you free. I am not here to tell you what you want to read or what appeals to your ears, but to declare the undiluted word of God!
When you are seen as a spiritual person and others are even looking up to you and yet you know you are empty when it comes with a personal relationship with God, you are being foolish! Ouch!
If you are a pastor that only reads your Bible to preach, that is oil in the lamp and nothing more than foolishness! Ouch! You don’t read Bible to preach alone, you study it to live!
If you are a lady in the protocol or ushering in church, always prompt and active, and you don’t know what it means to practice the presence of God, neither do you read your Bible regularly, you are not being wise! Ouch!
If you are the most active in church and yet you are living in adultery, that is utter foolishness.
But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not. – Mat 25:12 KJV
When they wanted the door opened to them, Jesus simply said he doesn’t know them! Is it possible that one can think He knows God and God does not know that person? Yes, I think it is possible.
Let us all get back to getting oil in our vessels regularly. That is how you won’t make mistakes in your marriage.
Oil in the vessel! That is how to keep your marriage together. That is how to run your home!
He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the church!
Make up your mind this morning to be wise!
Selah!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive the wisdom to run my home.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you the wisdom to stay in His presence
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 25:5 KJV While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place, or thing that is influencing you negatively.
Wisdom is powerful. In life, you are either operating in foolishness or wisdom. That is why the scripture talks about the wise virgins and the foolish virgins. It is such a thin line that one can easily cross the line from wisdom to foolishness when care is not taken.
In the case of the five wise virgins and five foolish virgins, they were all born again and they all were expecting the bridegroom. They all go to church. They all have their lamps with them and the scripture says the word of God is a lamp unto our feet.
They all had oil in their lamps. We know that oil is a type of the Holy Spirit. They all know something about the Holy Spirit. They were all spiritual to an extent. We know that the parable is talking about believers because the scripture says
Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom. – Mat 25:1 KJV
What made the five virgins foolish? The scripture tells us.
And five of them were wise, and five were foolish. They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. – Mat 25:2-4 KJV
You can be attending service, be a worker, be all over the place, and yet be operating in foolishness! The foolish took their lamp but no oil. The wise took OIL IN THEIR VESSELS plus the oil in their lamps.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive the wisdom to run my home.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you the wisdom to stay in His presence
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 25:5 KJV While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place, or thing that is influencing you negatively.
Every wife should get to a point where no matter how loving and romantic and cordial they are with their spouses, they still give God His place.
God deserves the first place in our lives and He wants to have all of our hearts, minds, energy, and best of our beings. God is a jealous God and He will not share His glory with any other man, not even our husbands.
Our husbands no matter how much they love us, they cannot love us like Jesus. They cannot die for us. That’s why Jesus is the lover of our souls. He alone can love deeply and extravagantly.
If our husbands are godly, God will reveal to them how to love and treat us. But that also depends on how well they can receive from the Lord.
Our spouses at the very best are still ‘human’. They are not given to meet all our needs. They can only try. God wants our attention, focus, love and worship.
You cannot beg to be loved. Rather, look to God to meet your deepest emotional needs.
Most spouses’ don’t even understand their wives. We are so wired differently. So sometimes, they are not being wicked, they don’t just have a clue on how to love us the right way and that is when God steps in. He wants to meet all our emotional, spiritual, social, and physical needs. He knows us because He created us.
There are some of our needs that we don’t even understand or can articulate in the right way or with the right words, making it difficult for even our husbands to try to meet.
So take the frustration off your husband and off your marriage. Let your spouse do what he can do and allow God do what He can and wants to do.
Don’t let your esteem or self worth come solely from your spouse. Your self worth should come from God.
You are very special to God. You worth so much to Him. You are royalty. You are the apple of His eyes. God will go all the way to protect you.
For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God. – Isaiah 54:5 – 6 KJV
The scripture is telling us that thy Maker is thy husband. God is not just trying to be our husband or writing an application to be our husbands.
We have to receive this words, believe it and walk in the light of it. We have to mediate on it so much until it becomes real to our hearts. God is saying we are Mrs God. What a privilege! We are not just His princesses, we are married to Him.
He is our maker. He understands us. He knows our wiring because He put them there. He knows what words to speak to us per time.
We are married to the Almighty, all powerful, the wealthiest being on the earth and in heaven. Hallelujah! Its so comforting and refreshing to know God finds you so lovely, flawless and gorgeous.
Some other women are being treated harshly by their husbands. They are oppressed, bullied and abused. God wants you to shift your focus from the hurt you are experiencing. Give that hurt to God your husband. He knows how to fix it. God is introducing Himself as the Lord of hosts. You are Royalty, her Royal Majesty.
Never forget that. Find a way to always remind yourself that. I always wear a tiny chain around my neck to remind me that I am royalty. I am loved by God.
I will get into what it means to have God as your husband tomorrow by God’s grace.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I enjoy the love of God in my marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father I receive help to be all you desire me to be.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 54:5 For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Say to yourself: God is my husband
There are different types, kinds, shades and forms of trouble in life and of course in marriage. Some of these troubles we face in marriage are due to our carelessness most of the times, while others are just the devil wanting to stir up issues.
Whichever way, God has told us how to handle troubles in His word.
I must admit that there are some troubles or challenges that are so bigger than us. There is no way we can come out of them successfully without God intervening.
King David, even though he was God’s beloved Psalmist, faced different situations way bigger and stronger than him. The good news is that God brought him over them all.
When troubles comes, at whatever season in our marriage, if we are believers, we are assured victory.
Some challenges are spiritual and must be dealt with by engaging in spiritual warfare. Whether they are in-law issues, financial, child birth, barrenness, betrayal, infidelity issues, health issues or we just noticed some resistance on our way, or there are constant quarrels between us as couples that really has no basis, or any other attack on our marriage, it calls for spiritual warfare.
That is the time we should deal with and take charge of whatever strange oppressive spirit from the devil that wants to destroy our marriages.
We must know how to intercede for our marriages more than anything else. We fight on our knees.
The bible says
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; – 2 Corinthians 10:3 – 5 KJV
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. – James 4:7 KJV
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. – Luke 10:19 KJV
Our major work is to bind the wrong spirit behind such issues and loose the power of God. We come against the different spirits causing troubles for us and not allowing us to enjoy peace, love and joy in our marriage.
Some problems are not with the third party, but with our spouses. You have to learn to take charge and exercise authority over such anti peace, anti unity spirit. All they are after is to cause division, disunity, distress and fight in the marriage.
Also praying for the eyes of the understanding of the other party to open is important.
That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, – Ephesians 1:17 – 18 KJV
By the time you have engaged in spiritual warfare, God promised victory. The victory may not come the way we we want, but victory is sure and peace will be restored into our marriage.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for wisdom to handle marital troubles
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. – Luke 10:19 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take authority over the devil.
Do you honour God daily? Do you know that there is a relationship between honouring God and making your marriage work?
When you honour God, trust me, you are going to have His favour and mercy work for you in every way. In the same way, when you dishonour God, things are going to get real though. The ways of a transgressor are hard.
How do you honour God?
Read, study and meditate on God’s word regularly. You need that for your spiritual health. Have it regimented into your life and do it daily. Start your day with that. That is simply honouring God!
Go to church. Fellowship with believers! That is simply honouring God!
Pay your tithe. Give to God. That is simply honouring God!
Somebody says, “I am confused in my marriage. The panacea is God’s word. It will cause light to shine over your soul. It will give you direction and lead you on the right path.
Do you have troubles in your marriage? The answer is in God’s word, not in weeping profusely or looking for pity parties. Stop getting depressed daily, rather get energized in God’s word!
Do you also know that just by staying in God’s word, you can avoid adulterous relationships?
Decide to honour God in your marriage and you will see Him come to your aid.
Selah!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God’s word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Open my eyes to wondrous truths in your word, O Lord
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalms 119:105 [MSG] By your words I can see where I’m going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Get into God’s word now and ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes.
You might be the head of the house, but don’t hesitate to apologize when you have wronged her. You really don’t want to be head over troubles and quarrels. Strife will stifle your spiritual voice and render your prayer useless!
3. Don’t Ignore her.
Let her feel appreciated that she is contributing to the progress of the family. Take her along in your decisions and outings. Pay attention to her words and ideas. Don’t make her feel she has nothing to offer. When you don’t let her help through her opinions, she is frustrated because her ministry is to be a helpmeet.
When you do these seemingly little things, they will make a great difference in your life. She might not be logical and factual when she is advising you, but she could be accurate because of her natural intuition. She can know a bad friend from afar, she can sense a bad business deal from just listening to you share with her.
4. Don’t criticize her.
Correct in love. Don’t treat her like a doormat. Give her the respect she deserves. She will in turn love you dearly and your home will be peaceful.
5. Never act as though you were superior and she is inferior.
She is not subservient, only submissive. God wants wives to be at their husbands’ sides, not at their feet. That was why God made Eve with bones from Adam’s side, not his feet.
6. Never show preference to others at the expense of your wife.
Believe in her, affirm her, encourage her and she will in turn do the same to your children. Women are multipliers. Give her sperm and she gives you a baby. Give her ingredients and she gives you a sumptuous meal. In the same way, give her stress and she will give you frustration, pressed down and shaken together and running over!
In that marriage, the wisdom you need to run a successful home, a loving family, and a strife-free milieu, may God grant unto you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse dearly. I will honour my spouse in all ways.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive grace to love my spouse dearly and to be faithful to him/her.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. (Mal 2:15 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Surprise your spouse today by doing one of those things you use to do that made him/her happy when you were courting.
COUPLES – How To Make Your Wife Happy And Love You Forever
Mr. John is heavily frustrated. His wife is never happy. He has exhausted all the wisdom and skills in his arsenals, yet no hope. All his romantic antics have been displayed, all to no avail. He feels so incapable. What else can I do to make this woman happy?
Pleasing a woman really is not so much about doing so many things but doing what appeals to your wife specifically. Why do you need to ensure she is happy anyway? You need each other’s agreement to have spiritual potency. You need each other’s help to forge ahead as a couple. When she is happy, the home will be great too.
You see, the moment you prefer to hang out with the ‘boys’ rather than your wife, and you deliberately go home late, you are no longer in good terms with your wife and the devil can take advantage of that to bring all kinds of attacks, especially adultery.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. (Pro 5:18 KJV)
1. Listen to what she is really saying.
Don’t watch television or read newspapers while she is talking to you. For your wife, attention means a lot to her.
Women are not logical, rather, they are emotional. So her discourse with you might seem illogical, but if you want to make your wife happy and your home great, you must make time to listen to her.
This is very important! In some countries, there are people who work as ‘listeners’ and all they do is listen to women talk and they are paid on an hourly basis. This is to let you know how important it is. If you allow the driver or cook to become the listener, a love affair might erupt over time. Spend time with her a lot.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse dearly. I will honour my spouse in all ways.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive grace to love my spouse dearly and to be faithful to him/her.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. (Mal 2:15 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Surprise your spouse today by doing one of those things you use to do that made him/her happy when you were courting.
The word ‘blossom’ creates a picture of a fruit tree having flowers. It depicts a season when the plant has grown, increased, and now bears flowers, showing it will soon bear fruit.
A lady is always associated with ‘blossom’, ‘flower’, ‘fruitful’, which depicts their ability to procreate and of course, the beauty they possess.
‘Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house and your children like olive plants round about your table’. –Psalms 128:3
The scripture today is about a wife becoming a fruitful vine. The vine is an interesting plant. It is a twining; coiling tender plant that produces grapes used for wine.
It is interesting to know that a tender plant that needs support eventually produces the all-important grapes used for wine. You do not want to joke with wine. It is served at parties, offered to dignitaries, it is medicinal, it shows prosperity, it makes merry and it is always found during joyous occasions.
As a man, the lady you are married to has great potentials but you as the vinedresser or gardener have the responsibility of bringing out the best in her.
Now read this carefully. You will never find a perfect woman or wife. God will always give you a raw material, and you as her head and crown can develop her into what God wants for her by the instrumentality of God’s word, your love for her, a lot of patience, and a lot of prayers.
Am I shifting the ladies’ responsibility of productivity to the guys?
No. I am only saying that there is an environment you can create for your wife that will cause her to blossom, be more fruitful and maximize her potential.
Remember whatever she becomes, she will still be ‘by the sides of thine house’. That side does not mean ‘hidden’ or in a corner, it means right at the door. She occupies a conspicuous part of your life.
Married men, know that your wives are your precious asset. Accept her, love her and be determined to help her blossom.
Yes, she might be like a wild, unfruitful olive vine, but ask God to help you. God anointed you as a husband to make your wife blossom. You can do it by God’s grace if you trust and seek his help.
Dear wives, please submit to the leadership role of your husband. God anointed him for you so you can blossom. Until you are submitted to him, you will not be all you can be, your full capacity. Your submission to him is a lot of wisdom because that is when you can truly blossom.
I know some of you might be hurt and bitter over issues in the past, and you are rightly justified to feel so, but remaining in that state will worsen things and slow you down.
Don’t close up your spirits on your husband, forgive again and again and ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Don’t give up; rather, keep on trusting God for the best.
Don’t try to retaliate by opening yourself up to affairs. That will usher in more demons to afflict your home.
Always remember this, the wisdom you need to resolve the present issue lies with God.
I pray for your home this day that God will surround you with His love, you will blossom in Jesus name. You will burst forth with the full manifestation of your gifting in Jesus name.
Men, receive grace and wisdom to be the best that God has called you to be over your wife and your home!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am like a fruitful vine beside my husband’s house.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, I receive help to be all you desire me to be.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Thy wife shall be like a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house’ Psalms 128:3
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be deliberate about your marriage.
Yesterday, I established that the enemy often seeks to use the weapon of hurt to worth his threefold agenda in marriages. This is to steal, kill and destroy. No marriage is immured to the strategies and attacks of the enemy.
He will often steal from our marriages, kill and snuff out life from our marriage and totally destroy all that our marriage stands for.
It is a blessing blocker. When you are hurt, your heart cannot receive from God, get rid of hurts, and make sure your heart is guarded against any form of hurt that may arise.
If you don’t learn to handle your hurts the right way, it will lead to bitterness, which can lead to rage which can lead to all sorts of vices like murder. There is a right way and a wrong way of handling hurts. Make sure you are not a victim of the deadly poison of hurt.
Some wrong and unhealthy ways to handle it include:
1. Vengeance or Retaliation
This is when you allow the hurt to get at you so much that you act back based on the hurt. Retaliation could come in various ways, wanting to hurt your spouse back, or inflict pain.
2. Closing your heart
We have a tendency to block our hearts as a way of protecting our hearts from further hurts.
3. Rehearsing or replaying the hurt
We may also be in the rot of replaying the words or events that hurt us.
I know there are different levels and degrees of hurt. But whichever, we have a responsibility of guarding our hearts and we have a choice not to be hurt.
The best way to guard our hearts against hurts is by taking communion. Try it, it works so well. Take communion and plead the blood of Jesus over your heart.
Also, take authority over the hurt, and exercise authority over words that cause hurt.
Guard your heart against the effect of hurt using these two scriptures
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. –Luke 10:19 (KJV)
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. –Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
Anytime there is a quarrel between couples and there is an exchange of harsh words, you will do well to guard your heart against this hurt.
Even after you have made up and started talking, if not properly dealt with, you could still be nursing the hurt. Get rid of the hurt and don’t allow any root of bitterness to defile you.
Let your heart be void of offense, bitterness, or hurt; against your spouse, siblings, parents, God, life, etc.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I declare concerning my life and marriage, I have victory, the enemy has lost the battle over my life and mind. I refuse to stay in hurt and unforgiveness, Jesus is glorified.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name of Jesus every fiery dart of the evil one is destroyed in my life and marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Forgive and let go of every hurt today
I have often heard that those we love hurt us deeper than anyone else, especially our spouse. I had felt it can’t be that bad.
This world is full of hurtful people. I think the hurt is deeper when in marriage you hurt yourselves and keep on hunting yourselves unless you make up your mind not to hurt.
Hurt is a decision it is not based on your feeling. You have to make a conscious effort and decision against hurt.
Some people have been hurt for most years of their life.
That is what the devil wants. He is busy having a nice time stealing joy, peace, life, compassion, unity, and love from families.
The point is, people, your spouse, and those you hold dear to you will not stop hurting you but you have to make up your mind you won’t allow the hurt to get at you.
Hurtful words are spoken like the cutting of the sword especially if your spouse is choleric. You cannot prevent people from misunderstanding you, people judging you falsely, lying about you, etc.
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. –Proverbs 12:18 KJV
From this scripture, you can pray for your spouse, pray that their tongues become the tongue of the wise that brings healing.
Hurt is like drinking poison and hoping your neighbour dies.
That’s not going to happen. Hurts make you bitter. You can be bitter all your life if care is not taken. You will just see that sixty years of your life are gone without achieving much because of hurt and bitterness.
Let’s receive grace from the Lord. Jesus was hated, misunderstood, lied against, misjudged, and criticized, yet none of this affected him.
He choose to be immune to hurt. He kept His vision before His eyes. He choose between being powerful or being pitiful. He couldn’t possibly have died for humanity if He hated humanity. If he didn’t forgive on time He couldn’t go to the cross.
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. –Luke 10:19 (KJV)
Jesus knew we will be faced with hurt and he made provision for it. We have to walk in our authority over hurts.
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. –Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
You have to take charge of your emotions. Not even your feelings should be strong enough to stop you from fulfilling your purpose. You are only answerable to one; the one who died on the cross for you.
When you come face to face with Him on judgment day, you will have no excuse to offer. Jesus passed through the same and was victorious. He overcame and gave you the victory.
He gave the blood of Jesus, the Word, the shield of faith, communion, etc.
You have to take the shield of faith which is the Word of God. Anytime words are spoken to you that are hurtful, lies, remind yourself and confess out loud and use it against the wile of the enemy.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
Remember, to protect yourself against hurt and every negative emotion. Protect yourself God’s way. There are negative ways of dealing with hurts. I will talk about that later.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I declare concerning my life and marriage, I have victory, the enemy has lost the battle over my life and mind. I refuse to stay in hurt and unforgiveness, Jesus is glorified.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name of Jesus every fiery dart of the evil one is destroyed in my life and marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Forgive and let go of every hurt today
We used to hear this phrase a lot long time ago, but nowadays, we hardly hear such a thing. The world has gone digital, fast and every body seems busy.
Knowledge has made people to replace old values with modern ones. The question is does modernization makes our conclusions about marriage right?
The modern day view of marriage is contractual while the good old days view marriage in Gods eyes as a covenant.
Contractual view says, you do this, then I do that’. While covenant says, I will do this for you because I am committed to you. It doesn’t really matter what you do or don’t do’.
Marriage as a contract is always based on negotiations, convenience, and protection of self. Each spouse maintain their lanes and do what is expected. Otherwise, the marriage contact does not work and they go their separate ways which means separation or divorce.
In this case, marriage is not for a common goal. There is no fulfilling purpose or destiny together on view. There is no sense of purpose or God bringing the couples together to fulfill a mandate or an assignment.
All that is involved is ‘I am attracted to you, and you to me. We have a love connection between us and we are good to go’.
Marriage is for better, for worse. This is a little scary which brings with it a sense of awe. Two hearts and should beating as one is a mystery. That mystery can only be unraveled by the help of divinity.
Here, there is a sense of a divine assignment. Marriage is not just lived on their terms but on the terms of God, who is the covenant witness and judge in the marriage union.
Each couples live their lives following a particular road map created by the creator. That means there is a supervisory role performed by God.
The husband cannot just do whatever he likes to do, neither can the wife do whatever she likes or wishes in the marriage.
There are guiding principles, guiding both husband and wife. There is a race set before each one to run, and each one runs with passion looking to God for grace to accomplish his/her race.
Here the wife is protected as well or as much as the husband is protected too. Both husband and wife have a common father who protects their interest.
It is not based on human standards that the rights of the husband is protected above the wife. Where the woman is subjected to servitude.
Or in some cultures, where the wife is overly protected above the husband.
Marriage is indeed till death so us part.
May God grant us grace to do His will.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR TODAY My marriage is blessed.
PRAYER FOR TODAY Lord, help me to live marriage as you ordained.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Go through your marriage vows again.
There are opportunities to lust, to fill our eyes, ears and mouth with promiscuous pictures, movies and lyrics. There are opportunities for pornography, masturbation, homosexuality, lesbianism and the likes.
These are opportunities that should be rejected. You see, there are opportunities that can swallow destinies without a trace. There are opportunities that look like favour but are eternal traps.
No wonder the Bible says favour can be deceitful. There are opportunities that look like testimonies but are orchestrations of hell to trap you.
You see, there are gifts one can take that will make you want to curse God because your hands would be tied. You must be very discerning! You must be like the three Hebrew boys who refused to bow to the idol!
Couples have a lot of opportunities to do ‘good’. A ‘thank you’ here and a ‘word of affirmation’ there will go a long way to improve your marriage.
There are opportunities to profess your unfailing love to your spouse and to labour in prayers for them.
There can be a loving hug, an affectionate touch; an eye to eye contact that speaks volume, the list is endless.
But all these happen only when we are sensitive and discerning and when we go out of our way and comfort zone to extend a loving hand. On the other hand, opportunities to hurt our spouses are like love busters.
They bust the bubbles that make our marriages exciting. They kill the romance and affection in our relationships.
Identify opportunities in the light of the scripture. Let God guide you to know which to accept and embrace and which to reject and avoid.
Men can be doors and they can also be walls. Be discerning. Men can be open doors and they can also be disguised traps!
God will give you wisdom in Jesus name. He will open your eyes to see beyond the obvious. He will help you to identify godly opportunities in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am loving and kind. I seize every opportunity to do good in my marriage. I am sensitive to the needs of my spouse. I seek to understand my spouse. I am not selfish in my approach to my spouse. I seek to understand our differences. I respect those differences and seek to adjust to them. My love account with my spouse is good.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I ask for the grace to be selfless. Help me to bring out the best in my spouse and to be lovingly devoted to him/her in love. Help me to use the many opportunities you are giving me well to sow good and lasting seeds of love into my marriage in Jesus’ name. Amen.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. –Galatians 6:10 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the good things you can do to improve your relationship with your spouse. Begin to take note of opportunities to show affection to your spouse. Minimize love busters as much as possible.
Chance or opportunity is defined as a suitable time or opportunity (favourable time) to do something, especially something ‘good’ and worthwhile. In our marriages, there are opportune times.
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. –Ecclesiastics 9:11 (KJV)
There are opportunities to do good for our spouses. But most of the time we don’t take advantage of these opportunities. We are not often sensitive to our spouses’ needs.
We most often see things from our own standpoint and not from their viewpoint. This calls for understanding. It becomes impossible to love someone you do not understand. You simply become critical.
The Book of Proverbs says ‘Wisdom is the principal thing, in all thy getting get understanding’.
This means as you are ‘getting’ married, also get understanding of the person you are married to. Each day is filled with numerous opportunities to be kind, sacrificial, loving, understanding, tender, and instructive.
There are also opportunities to be selfish, to think only of your own feelings, and opportunities to fall into sexual sins.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am loving and kind. I seize every opportunity to do good in my marriage. I am sensitive to the needs of my spouse. I seek to understand my spouse. I am not selfish in my approach to my spouse. I seek to understand our differences. I respect those differences and seek to adjust to them. My love account with my spouse is good.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I ask for the grace to be selfless. Help me to bring out the best in my spouse and to be lovingly devoted to him/her in love. Help me to use the many opportunities you are giving me well to sow good and lasting seeds of love into my marriage in Jesus’ name. Amen.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. –Galatians 6:10 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the good things you can do to improve your relationship with your spouse. Begin to take note of opportunities to show affection to your spouse. Minimize love busters as much as possible.
Help Pastor! I Am Living An Adulterous Life. – Part 3
Continued from yesterday.
Here are a few ways to disconnect.
1. Know that it is wrong and it is sinful.
2. Know that the devil can use that avenue to gain access to your family and finances and wreck havoc.
3. The fact that you still go to church does not cleanse you from adultery. As a matter of fact, what happens in such a case is that the spirit of religion and deception takes over. Spirit of religion says you can come to church on Sunday, praise God, and pray and go back to adultery on Monday.
Spirit of deception tells you that all others are doing the same, you are not alone, and you can continue. At this stage, you need to talk to someone who will help you and speak the truth of God’s word into your life to dispel the operations of wrong spirits in your life. The way you will know that there is demonic influence, is that you still continue in such adulterous rendezvous despite knowing that it is wrong!
4. Stay accountable to someone that can help you! You must be willing to talk about it, not all over the place, but at least with someone that will treat your issue confidentially! Seek help before the sin ruins you!
5. Disconnect from the person with whom you are involved. Runaway! That was what Joseph did to escape adultery. He eventually became a Prime Minister. Samson stayed and played spirituality, combining adultery with being a judge over Israel, because the scripture says He judged Israel for twenty years. He lost his glory, died in the midst of his days, and never fulfilled his destiny. Surely, that wasn’t God’s plan for him.
6. Finally. Go to God and ask Him to help you. Fast if you can. At this point, you may ask a trusted man of God to pray with you. You may call me if you like, and I will pray with you! If you are calling today, please make it later in the evening, I have meetings throughout today.
I pray that God will help you as you make up your mind to do it right!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am faithful to my spouse. I love my spouse. I will not allow any distraction to tear my marriage and home apart. I am sincere to my spouse. My marriage is preserved.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I destroy every marriage killer; I receive wisdom from God to rule in the affairs of this world. Spirit of God, envelope my marriage with your wisdom and power
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wives understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. –Ephesians 5:22 (MSG)
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting. –Ephesians 5:25 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every relationship/affair that your spouse does not know anything about or that he does not approve
COUPLES – Help Pastor! I Am Living An Adulterous Life. –Part 2
Continued from yesterday.
These will help if you have not started an affair or living an adulterous life, but you want to avoid it.
Don’t spend time alone with the opposite sex
If you are fantasizing about a sexual relationship with someone else apart from your spouse, stay away from that person.
Refuse to talk about feelings of attraction to any other person apart from your spouse.
Never share intimate details about your marriage with a member of the opposite sex. Don’t discuss or report your spouse to another colleague in your office.
Avoid outside influences and environments as much as possible!
Constant office trips, office dates, business parties, and private lunches, should be avoided if possible because such can build marital unfaithfulness.
Let your spouse be your top priority.
Talk together and work out all arguments or quarrels. Don’t store up grievances. Learn to resolve all issues and keep your love aflame.
Adjust your attitude.
Love flourishes in a relationship where there is wholehearted trust, respect, and love. Have fun with your spouse.
What if you are already involved in adulterous life? I don’t judge you and God does not condemn you. But He won’t condone that lifestyle as well.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am faithful to my spouse. I love my spouse. I will not allow any distraction to tear my marriage and home apart. I am sincere to my spouse. My marriage is preserved.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I destroy every marriage killer; I receive wisdom from God to rule in the affairs of this world. Spirit of God, envelope my marriage with your wisdom and power
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wives understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. –Ephesians 5:22 (MSG)
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting. –Ephesians 5:25 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every relationship/affair that your spouse does not know anything about of that he does not approve
The scripture admonishes men to stay faithful to their wives. Learn to enjoy your spouse and stop looking elsewhere. I always advise guys when they want to choose a wife not just to pray, but to ‘watch and pray!’
Your spring water is for you and you only, not to be passed around among strangers. Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose– don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore? for dalliance with a promiscuous stranger? Mark well that GOD doesn’t miss a move you make; he’s aware of every step you take. –Proverbs 5:17-21 (MSG)
It is important you marry someone that is physically attractive to you. Men are moved by sight. What is the sense in getting married, and three weeks later or a few months after, you’ve found yourself living an adulterous life in the arms of another/woman? That is a dangerous thing to do. It is not only dangerous to you; it is a direct affront to God and His principles!
The above scriptures say ‘Mark well that God doesn’t miss a move you make; he is aware of every step you take. This means that when you start desecrating the marital covenant or living an adulterous life and you start looking and fooling around with someone else apart from your wife, you will not have God’s support.
You risk losing his favour, mercy, and protection. Stay with your spouse and don’t fall into adulterous traps. This applies to the ladies too.
Don’t allow yourself to be pressured into living an adulterous life at the place of your work. You don’t have any excuse to flirt around! He is not caring, he is not available, he is not sensitive, blab, blab, blab…
Those are not enough reasons to jeopardize your destiny and risk losing all, because when you sin habitually without repentance, you actually lose God and that means losing all!
So what are the ways to avoid affairs?
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am faithful to my spouse. I love my spouse. I will not allow any distraction to tear my marriage and home apart. I am sincere to my spouse. My marriage is preserved.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I destroy every marriage killer; I receive wisdom from God to rule in the affairs of this world. Spirit of God, envelope my marriage with your wisdom and power
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wives understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. –Ephesians 5:22 (MSG)
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting. –Ephesians 5:25 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every relationship/affairs that your spouse does not know anything about or that he does not approve
Sow kindness, sincerity, faithfulness, practical love, service, patience, understanding, tenderness, and all the good virtues you can think of. By the time all these come together, you will have a great marriage.
Put all your wonderful ingredients together. If you do not have much of those good ingredients (qualities), go buy more (learn good character). Until your ingredients are complete, you cannot have a wonderful meal.
The quality and quantity of your ingredients determine the quality of your meal.
This is the simple recipe for a great marriage. When you study the Bible, read good Christian books, and listen to great quality messages, you are actually assembling your ingredients. By the time you get married, it will be time to ‘cook’ and to prepare for a great time. It is the ingredients that you have amassed that you will put to use. It is what you cook that you will eat. And of course, it is what you eat that gives you strength or weakens you!
You can deliberately look for the right ingredients now. It is not too late. If what you have cooked is a bad taste or inedible and you are considering a divorce, a walkout, and so on, you still have the chance to look for the right ingredients and cook again.
As long as your pot is intact (your mind) and you can still make some fire (in the place of prayer), you can still give it another shot. I can assure you, if your ingredients are right, you will cook a great meal (marriage) and you will eat great!
May God give you wisdom today that you need to turn things around in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the grace to sow good and right seeds in my marriage. My home is blessed. My marriage is blessed.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Heavenly Father, I ask you to forgive all wrong actions and wrong seeds sown into my marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, (Gal 5:19 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out all the good qualities you admire and desire in your marriage. Begin to sow them into your marriage.
Some years back, my wife and I addressed hundreds of teenagers in a particular meeting. It was amazing at the kind of questions those little ones asked. Some of them were as young as eleven years old. They asked about gay marriage, sex, masturbation, and so on.
Some of those questions you wouldn’t think a thirteen-year-old would ask. But you see, it is obvious that a ten-year-old child today is no longer as innocent or as unexposed as a ten-year-old some twenty years ago. Things have changed, and that rapidly too.
One of the conclusions drawn for those young ones is that there is no point in experimenting with what would fail. Life is about what you sow!
You cannot fool God, so don’t make a fool of yourself! You will harvest what you plant. (Gal 6:7 CEV)
This is so simple yet so profound. You will definitely reap whatever you sow; someday, somehow. You cannot reap what you did not sow. It is like putting potatoes on fire and expecting to eat a dinner of fried rice and chicken. It does not happen that way!
Some people are busy sowing wild seeds into their marriage and they expect to have a happy married life. People sow into the flesh; they follow the dictates of their fleshly appetite. They get involved with all manner of sexual activities and impurities, yet they expect all to be well in their marriage. If you are thinking of cheating God in this way, you are very much deceived. God CAN NOT be mocked!
Each time you sow bad seeds into your marriage, something dies in the marriage. When you sow to the wind, you usually reap the whirlwind. Some others do not necessarily sow sexual sins in their marriage, but they sow anger, bitterness, strife, oppression, pain, and unforgiving spirit.
Some commit adultery and expect their homes to be peaceful. It is impossible! You cannot be messing around with teenage girls and expect your children to be blessed. Someone somewhere will defile your daughters too…
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the grace to sow good and right seeds in my marriage. My home is blessed. My marriage is blessed.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Heavenly Father, I ask you to forgive all wrong actions and wrong seeds sown into my marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, (Gal 5:19 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out all the good qualities you admire and desire in your marriage. Begin to sow them into your marriage.
