Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register on this link – https://kissesandhuggs.com/conv2025
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Choosing a life partner is one of the most significant decisions you’ll ever make. This person will walk beside you through joys and trials, share your dreams, and help shape the legacy you leave behind. But this decision shouldn’t rest solely on human wisdom or fleeting emotions—it must be guided by God’s direction and design. Here’s how to discern who your life partner is with God at the center of the process.
1. Surrender Your Desires to God
Before seeking a spouse, surrender your desires and expectations to the Lord. Often, our vision for “the perfect partner” is shaped by societal standards, past experiences, or unmet needs. However, Psalm 37:4 reminds us, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” When you delight in God above all else, He aligns your heart with His plan, replacing selfish ambitions with godly priorities.
Pray and ask God to reveal His will for your future spouse. Trust that His timing and choice are far better than anything you could orchestrate on your own.
2. Seek Wisdom and Discernment
God promises wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5), so seek His guidance as you navigate relationships. Look beyond surface-level attractions and evaluate character, values, and spiritual maturity. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” Notice the emphasis on finding someone who reflects goodness—a reflection of God’s nature.
Ask yourself: Does this person exhibit fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)? Are they committed to growing closer to God? Do they honor others and demonstrate integrity? These qualities matter far more than external appearances or temporary chemistry.
3. Set Boundaries and Standards Based on Scripture
As you wait for God’s leading, establish clear boundaries and non-negotiable standards rooted in Scripture. For example:
A shared faith in Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14)
A commitment to purity and holiness (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)
Alignment in core values like family, finances, and ministry
Boundaries protect your heart and ensure you don’t settle for less than God’s best. Remember, compromise on foundational principles can lead to long-term struggles in marriage.
4. Involve Godly Counsel
Proverbs 11:14 states, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.” Surround yourself with trusted mentors, pastors, or spiritually mature friends who can provide objective insight into potential partners. They can help identify red flags you might overlook due to emotions or infatuation.
Additionally, observe how the person interacts with their family, friends, and community. Their behavior outside of your relationship reveals much about their true character.
5. Trust God’s Timing
Patience is key when deciding who your life partner is. It’s easy to feel pressured by cultural timelines or comparisons with others, but Ecclesiastes 3:1 assures us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Rushing into a relationship without divine confirmation can lead to heartache, while waiting on God ensures alignment with His purpose.
While you wait, focus on becoming the kind of person you hope to marry. Use this season to deepen your relationship with God, serve others, and grow in wisdom and maturity.
Deciding who your life partner is isn’t just about choosing someone—it’s about allowing God to guide you to the right person at the right time. Keep Him at the forefront of your search, trusting that He knows what’s best for you. As you pray, seek wise counsel, and set godly standards, rest assured that He will lead you to a partner who complements your journey and shares your commitment to glorify Him.
Remember, marriage is not only a union between two people—it’s a covenant involving God Himself. Let your decision reflect reverence for His design and dependence on His direction. With faith and obedience, you’ll find the joy and fulfillment that come from partnering with both God and the person He has chosen for you.
Proverbs 19:14 concludes, “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” Trust that your life partner is a gift from Him—and trust in His perfect timing to bring it to pass.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
To my future wife, whoever and wherever you are—this letter is for you. Though we may not yet know each other, I want to speak honestly about the journey ahead of us. Marriage is a sacred covenant, not just between two people but also with God (Malachi 2:14). It requires preparation, humility, and intentionality from both sides. So before our paths cross or our vows unite us, let me ask: Are you really ready for me?
1. Are You Ready to Partner in Purpose?
Marriage isn’t just about romance—it’s about partnership. Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Before we can walk side by side, we must first agree on the direction we’re heading. Are you pursuing God’s purpose for your life? Do you understand that marriage amplifies ministry, calling us to serve Him together as one? If we’re both aligned with His will, our union won’t just be a relationship—it’ll be a mission field.
2. Are You Ready to Embrace Imperfection?
Let’s get real—I’m far from perfect. Neither of us will enter this marriage without flaws, struggles, or areas where growth is needed. Ephesians 4:2 calls us to bear with one another in love, “being completely humble and gentle.” Can you embrace my imperfections while challenging me to become better? Likewise, am I willing to do the same for you? Love isn’t blind; it sees clearly yet chooses to stay committed through grace and forgiveness.
3. Are You Ready to Communicate Openly?
Healthy communication is the backbone of any strong marriage. James 1:19 reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Are you ready to share your heart vulnerably, even when it feels uncomfortable? Will you extend patience when misunderstandings arise? Honest dialogue fosters trust, intimacy, and unity—the pillars of a thriving relationship.
4. Are You Ready to Prioritize God Above All Else?
Our marriage won’t succeed if it’s built solely on feelings or convenience—it must be rooted in God. Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek first His kingdom, and everything else will fall into place. As much as I long to love and cherish you, nothing should come before my relationship with Christ—and the same must be true for you. When God is at the center, our love becomes unshakeable because it’s anchored in eternity.
5. Are You Ready to Fight Together?
Marriage isn’t always easy; there will be seasons of joy and seasons of struggle. But here’s the truth: We won’t fight against each other—we’ll fight for each other. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” With God binding us together, we’ll face challenges as a team. Are you prepared to stand firm, pray fervently, and never give up—even when the road gets tough?
Final Thought:
My dearest future wife, I write these words not to intimidate but to inspire. Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it demands readiness—from both of us. As you prepare your heart for this lifelong commitment, remember that love is more than a feeling; it’s a choice, a sacrifice, and a reflection of God’s unwavering devotion to us.
If you’re reading this, take courage. Whether we meet tomorrow or years from now, I trust that God is preparing you just as He’s preparing me. Let’s commit to seeking Him above all else, knowing that He will guide our steps toward each other in His perfect timing. Until then, keep growing, keep praying, and keep believing—for the best is yet to come.
How to Fight for Your Relationship as a Single Person
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Being single doesn’t mean you’re sidelined in the journey of love—it’s an opportunity to prepare, grow, and actively position yourself for the relationship God has designed for you. While society often pressures singles to “wait” passively, Scripture encourages us to take intentional steps toward the future He has promised. Here’s how you can fight for your future relationship while still single.
1. Fight for Your Own Growth
The foundation of any healthy relationship starts with you. Use this season to become the best version of yourself spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Focus on developing qualities like patience, kindness, humility, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Invest time in personal hobbies, education, or skills that align with your purpose. When you prioritize growth, you not only honor God but also prepare yourself to contribute positively to a future partnership.
Proverbs 4:7 says, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.” Wisdom and maturity are gifts you bring into any relationship, so start cultivating them now.
2. Fight Through Prayer and Fasting
One of the most powerful ways to fight for your future relationship is through prayer and fasting. Ask God to prepare both you and your future spouse. Pray for clarity about His timing, protection from unhealthy relationships, and guidance toward the right person. Fasting adds spiritual intensity to your prayers, demonstrating your dependence on God rather than your own efforts.
Matthew 7:7 reminds us, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Trust that God hears your cries and is working behind the scenes to align everything according to His perfect plan.
3. Fight Against Negative Mindsets
Society bombards singles with messages of inadequacy, loneliness, and impatience. Combat these lies by renewing your mind with truth from Scripture. Remind yourself daily that your identity isn’t tied to relationship status—it’s rooted in Christ (Ephesians 2:10). Refuse to settle out of desperation or fear of being alone. Instead, embrace singleness as a gift (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) and use this time to deepen your walk with God.
Philippians 4:8 encourages us to focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Fill your mind with these truths instead of doubt or discouragement.
4. Fight for Healthy Boundaries
Even as a single person, boundaries are essential. They protect your heart and ensure you’re pursuing relationships that honor God. Set clear standards for the type of person you’ll date—for example, someone who shares your faith, values, and commitment to Christ. Avoid compromising just because you feel pressure to be in a relationship.
Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Establishing boundaries demonstrates self-respect and attracts partners who value you appropriately.
5. Fight by Building Strong Friendships
Healthy friendships lay the groundwork for strong romantic relationships. Surround yourself with godly men and women who model Christlike character and can offer wise counsel when needed. Learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and show empathy within friendships—skills that will serve you well in marriage.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 highlights the importance of community: “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Cultivate meaningful connections that reflect God’s love and prepare you for partnership.
Fighting for your relationship as a single person means trusting God’s timing while actively preparing yourself for the blessing He has in store. It’s not about sitting idly by but engaging in the process of becoming ready—spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.
Remember, Psalm 37:4 promises, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” As you focus on growing closer to God and living purposefully, He will align your life with His plans, including the right relationship at the right time. So keep fighting—not out of desperation, but out of faith. Your future begins today.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
5 Types of Lovers Who Are Really Enemies
Not every person who claims to love you has your best interests at heart. Some relationships, though cloaked in affection, can be destructive and toxic. These “lovers” may appear caring on the surface, but their actions reveal a lack of genuine love and respect. Here are five types of lovers who, despite their outward charm, may actually be enemies disguised as partners.
1. The Controlling Lover
A controlling lover seeks to dominate every aspect of your life—your decisions, friendships, finances, and even thoughts. They often justify their behavior as concern or care, but it stems from insecurity or a desire for power. This type of lover disregards your autonomy and diminishes your sense of self-worth. Ephesians 6:12 warns us about spiritual battles, including those fought through manipulation: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against… the powers of this dark world.” A controlling lover operates out of selfish ambition rather than sacrificial love, making them an adversary to your freedom and growth.
2. The Deceptive Lover
Deception is poison in any relationship, and a deceptive lover thrives on lies, half-truths, and hidden agendas. Whether they’re unfaithful, dishonest about their intentions, or concealing harmful habits, this type of lover erodes trust and creates chaos. Proverbs 12:22 declares, “The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in people who are trustworthy.” A deceptive lover cannot provide the safety and security that true love requires—they are more focused on protecting themselves than nurturing the relationship.
3. The Selfish Lover
A selfish lover prioritizes their own needs, desires, and comfort above yours. They view the relationship as a means to fulfill their own wants, whether emotional, physical, or material. Instead of serving and sacrificing, they demand and take without reciprocating. Philippians 2:4 reminds us, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” A selfish lover drains rather than enriches your life, leaving you feeling used and undervalued.
4. The Abusive Lover
An abusive lover inflicts harm—whether verbal, emotional, physical, or spiritual—and uses fear and intimidation to maintain control. Their actions reflect cruelty rather than love, violating the biblical mandate to treat one another with gentleness and respect (Ephesians 4:31-32). Abuse is never acceptable, and staying in such a relationship puts your well-being and dignity at risk. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Use God’s Word as a guide to recognize abuse and seek help immediately if you find yourself in this situation.
5. The Indifferent Lover
While overtly harmful behaviors like control or abuse are easier to identify, indifference can be equally damaging. An indifferent lover shows little interest in your feelings, dreams, or struggles. They prioritize work, hobbies, or other relationships over you, leaving you feeling neglected and unimportant. Revelation 3:16 describes lukewarmness as something God despises: “Because you are neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.” A truly loving partner invests time and energy into the relationship, while an indifferent lover leaves it to wither away.
Final Thought:
It’s crucial to discern whether someone claiming to love you is genuinely committed to your well-being or merely masquerading as a partner. Relationships should reflect Christlike love—selfless, sacrificial, and uplifting—not manipulation, deceit, or neglect. If you recognize these traits in someone you’re involved with, prayerfully evaluate the relationship and seek godly counsel. Remember, God desires for you to experience love that honors Him and builds you up, not tears you down.
Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Protect yourself from lovers who act as enemies, and trust God to lead you to a relationship rooted in truth, respect, and unconditional love.
Love is multifaceted, and when it’s genuine, it manifests in ways that reflect the heart of God. True love isn’t just about feelings or grand gestures—it’s about consistent, selfless actions that demonstrate care, commitment, and character. Here are five types of lovers who truly embody what it means to love deeply and authentically.
1. The Servant Lover
A servant lover prioritizes the needs of their partner above their own desires. Inspired by Jesus’ example of washing His disciples’ feet (John 13:14-15), this type of lover finds joy in serving and supporting their spouse. Whether it’s cooking a meal, running errands, or simply listening after a long day, they show love through practical acts of kindness. Philippians 2:3-4 captures this mindset perfectly: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.” A servant lover builds trust and creates a foundation of mutual respect.
2. The Faithful Lover
Faithfulness is the hallmark of a lover who truly loves. This person remains steadfast through life’s ups and downs, refusing to give up when challenges arise. Ecclesiastes 9:9 encourages husbands to enjoy life with their wives “all the days of this meaningless life” because faithfulness honors both God and the covenant of marriage. The faithful lover keeps their promises, resists temptation, and chooses loyalty even when circumstances are tough. Their unwavering commitment becomes a safe haven for their partner.
3. The Encouraging Lover
An encouraging lover sees the best in their partner and actively affirms their strengths, dreams, and potential. They understand the power of words to build up or tear down (Proverbs 18:21) and use their speech to inspire confidence and hope. When struggles arise, they remind their spouse of God’s faithfulness and encourage them not to lose heart. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” An encouraging lover empowers their partner to grow spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.
4. The Sacrificial Lover
True love involves sacrifice—a willingness to lay down personal comfort, time, or preferences for the sake of the other. Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—by giving Himself up for her. But sacrificial love isn’t limited to husbands; anyone can embody this principle. A sacrificial lover puts aside selfishness, forgives readily, and invests deeply in their partner’s well-being. Their love reflects the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus, who gave everything for us.
5. The Praying Lover
A praying lover understands the spiritual dimension of love and consistently seeks God on behalf of their relationship. They recognize that human effort alone cannot sustain a marriage or partnership—it requires divine intervention. James 5:16 reminds us, “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” By praying together and individually, the praying lover invites God into every aspect of their union. They intercede during trials, thank God for blessings, and ask for wisdom to navigate challenges. This kind of love is rooted in dependence on God and strengthens the bond between partners.
These five types of lovers—servant, faithful, encouraging, sacrificial, and praying—are united by their commitment to loving well. Each one reflects a facet of God’s unconditional love for us, reminding us that true love is less about romance and more about action.
If you want to be a lover who truly loves, consider which of these qualities you can cultivate further in your relationships. Whether you’re married, dating, or preparing for future relationships, strive to model Christlike love in all you do. After all, love is not just something we feel—it’s something we live out daily, leaving an eternal impact on those around us.
As 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 beautifully describes, love is patient, kind, enduring, and hopeful. May you embrace these qualities and become the kind of lover who reflects God’s heart to the world.
