What is that one thing that is also important in considering who to marry? His faith is important.
Mostly because his faith will influence yours.
It is his faith in God, that will cause him to have the fear of God.
If he has the fear of God, he will never cheat on you.
He would rather protect you and care for you.
He would have the wisdom to live with you and raise a godly family because the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
Never ever get married to a man who has no regard for God.
It would be the greatest mistake ever!
Well, no matter how much you love him, no matter how much preparation you have made, no matter how much has been spent, if he does not have a relationship with God, pick your bags and bolt!
Run for your life.
Preserve your destiny with your choice.
2Co 6:14-15 (MSG) Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? [15] Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands?
In marriage, there is a “knowing” at the highest level as love is consummated.
The husband becomes the cover and the head of the family.
God forbids that the head is sick, for he would only transfer the sickness.
He can only give what he has.
God forbid that the head is foolish, he would only disseminate the foolishness and no more.
He would make foolish decisions and affect the wife and the children, and sometimes, the children’s children!
The mouth of the foolish poureth out foolishness.
Pro 15:2 (KJV) The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Pro 15:2 (MSG) Knowledge flows like spring water from the wise; fools are leaky faucets, dripping nonsense.
May you not have a leaky faucet of a head, dripping nonsense over your destiny!
Knowing Who To Marry
I tell you, as a counselor, that can be frustrating!
How beautiful is it, to have a praying man over your life, to have a man who is faithful to you, who will never cheat on you, not because he doesn’t feel like it but because he fears God!
You wouldn’t need to add the unrest, suspicion, insecurity, disagreements, and bickering that goes with knowing your spouse is cheating on you to your daily pressures.
Go for peace of mind.
If you are already married and have issues, please don’t give up too quickly. Pray and intercede! Go for therapy as well! Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate until it becomes too late!
Divorce is not always God’s direction unless life is threatened.
Take time to intercede and trust God for intervention and you will surely see the salvation of the Lord in Jesus name!
But there are handsome men who are good men and faithful men.
That is what you should pray for, that is what you should trust God for, that is what you should aspire for, and that is what you should settle for.
The face is the pulchritude, the heart is the hidden man.
Find out about the hidden man before you fall in love with the face.
His behaviors will not come from his handsome face, they would take source from the heart.
Beware of the heart that despises God.
Never fall in love with such hearts.
Beware of the heart that mocks God.
Beware of the heart that belittles your God.
Beware of the heart that disregards your God.
If he can disregard your God, he will disregard you!
Beware of a handsome face sitting upon an ugly heart.
The ugliness would eventually extend to the face in no time.
Beware of the handsome man who wants you to compromise your faith in order to satisfy his rush of adrenaline.
Beware of the one that can combine an ugly heart with a handsome face.
Fine man, but he beats his wife!
Handsome man, but irresponsible!
Lord, give me a spouse handsome within and without.
Lord, give a spouse beautiful within and without.
I pray for you, God will honor your prayers!
You will not regret your actions in Jesus’ name.
You will not spend the major part of your life agonizing and living in pain over a fine face, but an ugly heart.
God will guide you, lead you, and honor you in Jesus’ name.
You will not miss it!
For those who are already married, God will make your union a beautiful one within and without.
Psa 144:12-14 (KJV) That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace: [13] That our garners may be full, affording all manner of store: that our sheep may bring forth thousands and ten thousands in our streets: [14] That our oxen may be strong to labour; that there be no breaking in, nor going out; that there be no complaining in our streets.
Having a sexual relationship outside marriage is a sin in itself and God doesn’t approve of that kind of arrangement. However, within marriage, withholding intimacy is one way that a person can be abused emotionally, by using withdrawal to control the other person.
In the sanctity of a marriage relationship, you are not supposed to deny each other. The scriptures say that you should not defraud one another.
Married ladies should not use sex to punish their husbands as that may lead to more vulnerability.
Signs of Abusive Relationships Part 2
9. Words like arrows
Another sign of emotional manipulation is when you are called names, given unpleasant labels, derogatory nicknames, and the use of biting cutting remarks.
Words are powerful and you are what you hear everyday. A guy goes to Medical school, listens to medical classes for seven years and then becomes a Medical Doctor. The same thing with a lawyer.Invariably, you are what you are hearing. You should therefore not allow anybody to constantly pull you down and trample on your esteem all in the name of love.
Love will not constantly put you down! Love will not crush your esteem day after day. If one or more of these signs are prevalent in your relationship, you may need to pause and review it.
Listen to me, marriage does not change abusers. It is better to remain single and wait for the right person than to rush into a marriage with an abuser because of the pressures around you.
When the abuse takes a toll, all the people putting pressure will not be seen around you.
The last day you would see most of them is on your wedding day to eat your food!
As my wife would always says, you will live with your choice!
Signs of Abusive Relationships Part 2
10. Personal information
Lastly, abusers can often resort to using your personal information and secrets against you and to control you. This is why you have to beware of people who are always asking for your nude pictures.
Why would a person who claims to be a child of God be asking for your nude pictures?
There is something perverse about that.
Is it to masturbate or what? Or to sell the pictures? Young ladies, don’t ever send you nude pictures to anyone in the name of love.
He would eventually use your pictures to manipulate and control you, and when you call his bluff, you would find your nude pictures all over the internet.
Several young girls have committed suicide when they couldn’t bear with the shame of having their nude pictures and videos all over the internet. So, don’t ever make that mistake.
Remember the scripture we saw earlier? Your souls has escaped like a bird out of the snare of the flower!
Fly away from all demonic and manipulative relationships.
Pro 6:5 (KJV) Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.
Cut off that relationship where you are being oppressed.Let the wrong person go so that the right person can show up! I pray that God will grant you more understanding!
Let’s delve deeper into these symptoms of abusive relationships:
1. Your Individuality is in Question
In an abusive relationship, one of the most subtle yet insidious signs is the gradual erosion of your individuality. You may start to question your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, as the abusive partner systematically chips away at your self-esteem. They may belittle your opinions, decisions, and passions, making you doubt your worth and significance.
2. Unending Chastisement
Abuse often manifests in the form of unrelenting chastisement. You may find yourself on the receiving end of constant criticism and nitpicking. This continuous stream of negativity can be emotionally draining, leaving you feeling worthless and defeated.
3. False Accusations
Abusive partners frequently employ false accusations as a means of control. They might accuse you of infidelity, dishonesty, or wrongdoing without any basis in reality. These unfounded allegations can leave you in a state of constant defensiveness, further undermining your self-esteem.
Abusers often excel in shifting blame. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they find ways to place the blame on you. This tactic leaves you feeling guilty for problems that are not your fault, reinforcing their control over the relationship. It can eventually bother on mental health if care is not taken.
5. Withdrawal
Emotional and physical withdrawal is another common sign of an abusive relationship. The abusive partner may use the silent treatment or physical isolation to exert control and manipulate your behavior. This isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness and helplessness. It is also called stonewalling
6. You Are Always in the Wrong
In an abusive relationship, it can feel like you can never do anything right. No matter what you do, your actions are met with disapproval or anger. This constant feeling of inadequacy can lead to a loss of self-confidence and self-worth.
7. Control Over Your Finances
Abusive partners may also exert control over your financial resources. They might restrict your access to money, scrutinize your spending, or even take charge of your finances entirely. This control can leave you financially dependent and trapped in the relationship.
Recognizing these symptoms is the first step in breaking free from an abusive relationship. If you or someone you know is experiencing these signs, it’s crucial to seek support and help from professionals who can provide guidance and assistance in leaving the abusive relationship and rebuilding a life free from harm.
Giving the right nomenclatures to folks around you is an important step in Latin the right person for you Even after the wedding, naming people rightly will keep you away from adultery. You must learn to name people appropriately and not go out with everybody or jump in bed with everyone and anyone! This is my boss. This is my colleague. This is just a friend! This is just an acquaintance. This is an unbeliever…
Gen 2:20 KJV And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
Like Adam, you must name people rightly! Not everybody is your helper! Some are nice but they are destiny killers!
There are handsome destiny destroyers and beautiful dream abortionists.
You must name people appropriately and you must not allow desperation to push you out of God’s will!
Like Adam, have you been in that place where no help-meet has been found? Have you searched and prayed and fasted and yet nothing is forthcoming?
You see, you have to cease from your own strength! Your intellectual prowess cannot get a prudent wife from the Lord. Your nice manners and Queens English are irrelevant. The parameter of your cognitive abilities is not the issue here.
Have You Slept Yet?
Adam successfully named every creature on earth, a display of uncommon spiritual and mental energy and prowess, and yet was frustrated at the end because he could not find a spouse!
Are you in that place like you are a graduate, but no helpmeet? You are rich and comfortable, but no helpmeet? You attend functions and join the church workforce and do a lot but no helpmeet. That was where Adam found himself.
What was God’s solution to the imbroglio?
Gen 2:21 KJV And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
Guys and ladies, you’ve got to “sleep” and allow God to lead you! Some of you have simply refused to sleep! The scripture said “and he slept,” so it was a choice. He could have said, “I am not sleeping, and just start jumping or jogging.
After you have done all you know to do, why not just sleep and abandon yourself in God’s arms and plans for your life? You have been too much awake and yet no result!
Just sleep and trust God to do it. When you sleep, you don’t wake up every two minutes to check your security. You just sleep. Go into deep sleep and stop sampling ladies all over the place every Sunday! You don’t even listen to messages again in church!
By the time Adam woke up, God brought Eve to him. Ladies, don’t bring yourself, allow God to bring you! When God brings or showcases you, it comes with a revelation or conviction to your husband-to-be. Don’t be suggestive. Don’t sound too available. Don’t take the lead. The man is the aggressor and the lady is the responder!
Have You Slept Yet?
When you “sleep,” God will show you your spouse. He will bring her to you! You will see her and know! That was why, without God saying a word, Adam went into a frenzy of romantic prophecy and began to speak in tongues!
The next time you want to take things into your own hands and step outside His will, remember to step back and go to “sleep!”
Dear married couples, after your wedding, you are supposed to go to “sleep” as well concerning all other people around you You can only admire, and not desire again!
Ask God for the wisdom to go about it! You can still go to sleep even as a married person and wake up with a revelation on how to better handle your spouse and improve your marriage!
I pray for you this morning that this year, God will establish all that concerns your relationship/marriage and dissolve every puzzle in Jesus’ name!
