I know that there are no perfect persons and we are all projects in the hands of God, however, there are basic traits to watch out for generally. While you may not be able to find a person that successfully combines all these, the qualities should guide you in your decision. If a person does not have character defects and does not live in habitual sin, some of these qualities can be improved upon by asking God for His grace.
1. The Test Of Integrity.
Test him for faithfulness and integrity in little and big things. Make sure she has integrity and her words and actions line up. Integrity is very important because that is what will eventually preserve you.
The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. -Proverbs 11:3 (KJV)
God loves integrity. In Job 2:3, God boasted about Job and he mentioned his integrity. Integrity in that verse means ‘innocence.’
The potential guy or the lady must have integrity as well. It is a great legacy to pass to the children. Integrity is from the word ‘Integral” meaning one. You are supposed to be the same person within and without.
Don’t marry a gentle saint on Sundays but a vicious man on Mondays. Be careful of dual personalities who seem to give their lives to Jesus one moment and then take the life back the next moment. How will you know all these? These are the things you will find out when you are friends.
That is why pre-marital sex should be avoided because it will get you confused and distracted. You see, the moment you are illegally bonded together in pre-marital sex, the obvious character defects that others can see will mean nothing to you.
They will ask you questions like, “What are you doing with that kind of person?” And you will be like; ‘leave me alone, I love him, he will change!’
You see, you have not even changed yourself! You are not the Holy Spirit who changes people! What the scripture says is that you should not be unequally yoked!
Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? -2Corintians 6:14-15 (MSG)
2. The Test Of Diligence.
You cannot afford to marry a lazy man or an indolent woman. It will slow your journey down. Diligence is measured with so many indices like tenacity, business acumen, career pursuit, doggedness, and so on. You may not have so much today, but with diligence in a potential spouse, you can be sure you will be great in life.
Do you see a man diligent and skillful in his business? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men. -Proverbs 22:29 (AMP)
You cannot afford to commit your life to the hands of a lazy person. That is subjecting your life to unnecessary afflictions that could have been avoided.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the Spirit of wisdom to discern and choose that which is good for my destiny.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Holy Spirit, fill me afresh with your wisdom in the affairs of my relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry put you further behind. – Proverbs 21:5 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Commit your ways unto the Lord
Yesterday we looked at “What God Wants From Every Man.” Today, by the Spirit of God, we will be considering “What God Does Not Want From Every Man.”
1. He does not want you to be harsh and inconsiderate with your family.
God wants you to be like Him. That is why the scripture says the husband should be to the wife as Jesus Christ is to the church. What Jesus did for the church is an indication of what God wants every husband to do for his wife. What did Jesus do? He laid down his life. He sacrificed for the church. God wants you to sacrifice for your wife.
Here is an instruction for all husbands:
In the same way, you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise, you cannot pray effectively.] Finally, all [of you] should be of one and the same mind (united in spirit), sympathizing [with one another], loving [each other] as brethren [of one household], compassionate and courteous (tenderhearted and humble). Never return evil for evil or insult for insult (scolding, tongue-lashing, berating), but on the contrary blessing [praying for their welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them]. For know that to this you have been called, that you may yourselves inherit a blessing [from God–that you may obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection]. -1Peter 3:7-9 (AMP)
Now let’s take a look at the Message translation:
The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women, they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground. Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless–that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing. -1Peter 3:7-9 (MSG)
The part I love most, Bless your wife! That is your job, to bless! You are the priest over your home, dear husband, so keep blessing. And of course, you don’t want to be praying with no answers!
But my wife is difficult! Yes, just like the church is difficult, and yet Jesus keeps blessing the church and sanctifying it and will present to himself a glorious church at the end.
Keep blessing your wife; you will enjoy the best of her. Keep saying what you want in her and not what you are seeing now!
2. He does not want you to get involved with extra-marital or adulterous relationships.
God does not want you getting involved in adultery. Why? It can ruin your family. It can make you lose your relationship with God. In fact, the Bible sees it as a stupid decision.
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get, and his reproach shall not be wiped away. –Proverbs 6:32-33 (KJV)
Here is Message Translation;
Adultery is a brainless act, soul-destroying, self-destructive; Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good. –Proverbs 6:32-33 (MSG)
If you are already involved, God does not condemn you. He still loves you. It is left for you not to condemn yourself and let God’s love set you free from the bondage of adultery. You may call me so I can guide you on how to fully disconnect and be faithful to your wife.
3. He does not want you to disregard his Word, principles, and any other scriptural injunctions.
My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body. -Proverbs 4:20-22 (NIV)
God wants you to follow the principles as outlined in His word because true prosperity comes from following Him. Your business acumen is nothing compared to His wisdom.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
God is my strength. He will guide me on the right path.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY
Lord, I ask that you open my eyes of understanding in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers. -1 Peter 3:7 (NIV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Take an inventory of your life in the light of God’s principles
Continued from yesterday. You can read part 1 HERE
Some ladies fall in love before trying to find out about his character and flaws. So many young ladies with great destinies have jeopardized their future by getting involved with the wrong person.
Stop falling in love with a stranger on Facebook! It is not ideal. There are so many marital casualties today as a result of unguarded and careless relationships. Profiles, timelines, and Twitter pages cannot be used as a conclusive decision on marriage!
Ladies, don’t wait till you are head over heels in love, with flying butterflies in your tummy before probing who he is. You should find out a lot when you are first of all friends before becoming lovers. That is why friendship is very important. You would have seen enough traits that will help you make up your mind about who you want.
Sisters, have friends. That is where relationship will develop from. If you don’t have platonic friends, then you are left with strangers to approach you, and most of the time when strangers come, they are looking for sex.
That is why most sisters would say things like “it is always unserious people that approach me.” The question is do you have friends?
For guys, become friends first before you make your intention known. Do you know there would not be issues of ‘nails’ or rejection because you are already friends? She would simply tell you ‘No’ politely because she would not want to offend her friend!
When you are already in love without friendship, the likelihood is that your feelings for him will block every form of reasoning and sense of judgment.
You know he drinks, but you don’t care. You know she smokes, but you close your eyes. There are some character traits you can watch out for while just friends.
It is a simple principle of “make the tree good and the fruits will be good.” A guy can’t make a good husband if he doesn’t have a good character.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare that my steps and relationships are ordered.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help to get the right friends in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 19:19 KJV All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List the names of your friends.
3. He wants you to spend quality time in His presence.
God wants you to draw strength regularly from his presence and be anointed with fresh oil daily to face the challenges of the business and career world. Money is spiritual, and you need God as your spiritual source to be truly wealthy.
As you advance in marriage, you are going to get busier! Learn to give God your time now and stop saying things like, “When I do so and so, I will have more time for God.’ You will never have time as much as you have now.
4. He wants you to invest and spend quality time with your wife and family.
He wants you to be available for your family, play with them, laugh with them and be an example to your children. Don’t be too far away from your children. Children raised without existing fathers almost always turn out defective as much as those with existing but unavailable fathers.
5. He wants you to be a provider for your family.
God wants you blessed! All He wants from you is to follow his principles and learn to obey the laws of seed, time, and harvest. Prosperity does not answer to prayers alone but also to the principle of sowing and reaping!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God is my strength. He will guide me in the right path.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask that you open my eyes of understanding in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:33 KJV Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life in the light of God’s principles
As sister Sube walked down the road, her mind was stormy and depressed. This is in contrast with the calm and unusual tranquil weather. Without was so peaceful, but within were rumblings of the murky waters of despondency!
Every step she took down the road was punctuated with deep-seated sighs. What is her problem? She feels something is wrong with her because nobody is proposing to her and age is no longer on her side!
On the other hand, Brother Zerubabbel too is so worried that he is almost bending over. What is his problem? Brother Zeru is angry with all the so-called sisters because he has proposed to thirteen sisters in the same church and each of them gave him a nail.
The nails, sorry, the spikes were so painful. It was as if the sisters all had a meeting on him, actually, they did.
The above scenarios are issues that bother on cultivating friendship the right and healthy way.
Never forget that how to get a friend is more important than how to get a lover. Lovers don’t drop from the sky; they are made from friendship as the foundation.
Loving is a process that should start with friendship. Don’t fall in love with someone who is not your friend. It is not advisable to toe the line of ‘love at first sight.’ Why? You can only love who you know! You might have some body chemistry at first sight, but certainly, it is not falling in love like we normally allude.
Love is a spiritual entity that happens not just in the intellectual realm but in the emotional and spiritual realms as well. When you have a one–night stand with a stranger, it is nothing but lust and lack of discipline. You don’t even know the person and yet the moment you are sexually involved, your histories become intertwined, afflictions and demonic influences are exchanged and dangerous habits creep into your life after such reckless sexual encounters.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare that my steps and relationships are ordered.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help to get the right friends in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 19:19 KJV All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List the names of your friends.
