For singles and couples, the issue of financial compatibility will always come to the fore because finances are an essential part of love life. The reality is that when financial issues are out of the way, more than fifty percent of the problems are solved.
Financial compatibility is important because it is dangerous to marry someone whose financial principles and practices are polarized to you. This doesn’t mean you are financial experts but what it means is that you should be on the same page so that you can synergize together.
Here Are Conversations You Should Have
1. Financial History: What has been the financial history? How has your potential spouse been handling finances? As newly married, you will immediately notice that your partner’s financial habit before the wedding prevails within your home. It is good to have these conversations!
2. Budgeting Together: Have you discussed budgeting, planning, and spending? What amount goes for which? What are the priorities? As engaged or newly married couples, are you on the same page? Do you consult one another before major spending?
3. Financial Goals: What are the plans? This should be discussed! When are you going to start developing your property? What kind of school are the children going to? What kind of income streams are in the pipeline?
4. Debts and Savings: Are there debts before the wedding? Light or huge debt? Are there serious and chronic debt habit that needs attention and counseling? You cannot close your eyes to all these indications. As a newlywed, are you servicing debt with all your income like in Nigeria? Lol…
5. Crisis Management: What are the financial plans in place in emergencies? What are the options? Have you decided that you will never use a loan to take care of another debt? What are the immediate plans to stop addictions from constantly patronizing loan apps?
These and more conversations will help you when it comes to finances and your love life.
Dear singles and couples, let’s have a heart-to-heart talk about something that really matters – finding your purpose, not just in life, but in the realms of before and after you say “I do.” Whether you’re single, engaged, or already hooked, understanding your purpose is like having a compass that guides you through the stormy and sunny days of life.
Before Marriage: Discovering Yourself
1. Discover Yourself: Before you can share your life with someone, it’s crucial to know who you are. What lights your fire? What are your passions, values, and dreams? This isn’t just about career or hobbies; it’s about understanding your core. Why are you here? What is your purpose?
2. Build Your Relationship with God: Your faith isn’t just a part of your life; it’s the lens through which you see the world. Strengthening your relationship with God helps clarify your purpose and aligns your path with His plans. He created young so the template of your life is with Him.
3. Serve Others: Service isn’t just a nice thing to do; it’s a way to discover aspects of yourself and your purpose. Whether it’s volunteering at church or helping out in the community, service expands your heart and your understanding of where you fit in this world. When you serve, He said he will bless your bread and water!
After Marriage: Growing Together
1. Unite Your Dreams: Now that you’re a team, it’s time to align your purposes. This doesn’t mean giving up your individual dreams but finding ways they can complement and support each other. Be on the same page in your respective areas of specialization. Allow two chasing ten thousand rather than as individuals chasing a thousands each.
2. What’s Your Vision?: What do you want your marriage to stand for? Together, create a vision that includes not just your goals as a couple but also how you want to contribute to the world around you. Create a vision board for your family and that will help you keep focus.
3. Keep God at the Center: As you navigate married life, keeping your faith central can help you face challenges and make decisions that honor your shared purpose. Need stop reading and studying your Bible! Pray in the Spirit a lot and allow God to build your family for you!
Remember, finding and fulfilling your purpose is a journey, not a destination. It’s about growing, learning, and adapting, whether you’re single, engaged, or married.
So, take a deep breath, trust in God’s plan, and embark on this beautiful adventure of discovering and living out your purpose.
So yesterday, I started teaching on this topic. I established the fact that romantic love is essential in relationships and it makes marriage exciting.
Kindly read yesterday’s devotional.
5 Ways to Grow Your Romantic Love.
Yesterday, we looked at:
Understand their love language and speak it.
It is the duty of everyone in a relationship to discover, understand, and then start speaking their partner’s love language.
In marriage, you keep on speaking and rediscovering your spouse’s love language over time and as occasion demands. Yesterday’s love language may not be today’s love language.
No love without giving
A gift is like a magic wand that brings favor. The Bible says good understanding procures favor. Understand the magic that gifts bring and use it to your advantage whether in relationships or marriage.
Today, we are looking at:
3. Express your love to your lover in creative ways.
Just yesterday, while my housekeeper was cleaning and clearing the house, I saw one of the love notes my husband wrote to me way back in 1996. It was so heart-warming. I handed it over to him, and he read it to me again.
So sweet. I felt loved all over again. I saw his heart and his love so genuine and pure.
There was nothing sexual about that love letter. It communicated his love to me, our future together based on God’s promise, and our love together in its purest form.
Of course, I kept the note and cherished it. A 28-year-old love letter, neat and fresh, just like it was written yesterday. It was neatly written on pink cardboard and designed. Talk about romantic love, that is what I mean. My husband is more romantic than I am, you can bet.
It was not expensive, just a cardboard and pen, but it was and is still so priceless. It means so much to me.
Those days we could not afford anything fanciful, not even a date at a restaurant, but our romantic love was intact. No one could have convinced us that we were not in love.
So, singles, be creative in expressing your love to one another without being sexual.
To our married folks, good romantic love in a relationship serves as a good foundation upon which to build and continue expressing your love to each other in very creative ways.
Your husband or your wife will still long for that romantic part of you. Never allow the busyness of being married to steal that aspect of your marriage. If it does, the marriage starts to nosedive. Remember, he/she is still that boy or that girl you fell in love with. To be continued tomorrow.
Many single ladies and guys are finding it difficult to know who the perfect will of God is for them. The guy is cool, and the ladies seem pleasant but is he/she the one God has in mind for me?
This is one of the questions that has bothered the singles ever since, at least those that fear the Lord.
Some other carnal believers just think, ‘I am the one marrying here not God, so let me choose what I like and I will be good’. Nothing is farther from the truth than this.
For us married folk, I used to think, but we have the Holy Spirit and He knows all things but why are we not led by Him all the time? Especially in our marital affairs.
The answer is in the state of our mind.
It is our privilege as born-again believers to be led by the Holy Spirit. That is what distinguishes us from unbelievers. That is our ‘X’ factor. And you know what, whether you are single or married, the Holy Spirit delights to lead us.
Romans 8:14 NIV For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.
The problem is in the state of our minds. The Holy Spirit has information, wisdom, and strategies He wants to download to us, but our minds are too busy. He wants to tell us things, secrets about our spouses, about our intended partners.
We will however not be able to receive this leading because our minds are too busy. There is the normal state of mind, which is serene, calm and quiet. There is the abnormal state which is busy, filled with worries, evil thoughts, doubts, etc
God can only lead us in our relationship and marriage affairs if our mind is stayed on Him.
Isaiah 26:3 NIV You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3 AMPC You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You.
The Amplified Classic translation explains it well. God will only guard and guide us with His peace which is the umpire that tells us we are on the right track when choosing who we are to marry.
He will guide us with His peace when we know that the Holy Spirit is teaching us what to do in our marriage.
Our minds have to be stayed on the Word. We have to discipline our minds for it not to be wandering.
Our minds have to be focused on meditating on the word. If we want to enjoy the leading of the Holy Spirit, we have to actively keep our minds pondering, thinking, contemplating on His word, worship, and praying.
To know the voice of the Holy Spirit, we need to be ‘used’ to how He speaks.
Be disciplined with your mind. Think about what you are thinking about. Be quick to keep your mind stayed on the word. Keep your mind in worship, thinking of God’s goodness and His wondrous works. Plead the blood of Jesus on your mind to cleanse it from every dead works of unrighteousness.
Let your mind be free enough for the Holy Spirit to communicate with you and you being able to receive whatever He wants to say.
The other day, I was talking our first son and his best friend, and my question was “When are you guys getting married? Both of them just smiled and replied with an expression like, “Marriage? Who is thinking of that?” When I was my son’s age, I was already “toasting” Pastor Sophia!
Why do guys hesitate today? Why does it seem marriage is the last thing on their mind?
Let’s dive into this this morning.
The world today is a fast-paced world, where instant gratification is often a click away, but relationships and marriage seem to be following a different timeline!
This phenomenon has sparked curiosity and, at times, frustration among young ladies wanting to walk down the aisle. So, why are guys taking their sweet time to commit or walk down the aisle?
Did you miss yesterday’s devotional? Read it below!
The young man today is fiercely independent, valuing personal growth and career ambitions. Many young men are delaying marriage to focus on establishing themselves professionally and financially. This may nit be unconnected that there is “hunger” in the land! Building a career before building a home resonates strongly. For married couples, ensure there is a balance between you career and home! Family comes first!
2. Perfect Timing
The concept of “perfect timing” is another factor contributing to the delay. Guys are more attuned to the idea of timing in their lives, often waiting for the perfect moment when all stars align – career stability, emotional readiness, and finding the ideal partner. This pursuit of the perfect scenario can lead to postponements in making significant relationship milestones.
After wedding, ask married couples, three will be more responsibilities, but this also makes you to sit up and harness every grace and opportunities available to take care of your family!
I will stop here today! Watch out for the second part tomorrow!
