A Conversation On Feelings, Sex, And Guilt. Buddy, with a lot in his mind, a lanky handsome guy of twenty-five years of age goes to his mentor’s office for some talk. George is about forty years old, a leader in the church, a man of one wife and no more, and a man who truly loves God.
Buddy: Good evening sir
George: Eh…Buddy, how are you doing? (Lowering his eyeglasses)
Buddy: I am cool
George: So, how has it been?
Buddy: I’ve got stuff on my mind and I need to see you, sir
George: Right, (Pushing his book away) I am all ears
Buddy: You know my fiancee?
George: Remi? How is she doing? Has she gotten a job?
Buddy: Yes, she is working in a Bank now
George: So, what is the problem?
Buddy: You know we compromised once?
George: Yes, I remember
Buddy: And you prayed for us and restored us and all that
George: Yes, and I am sure God forgave you
Buddy: But my problem is that anytime we are together, irrespective of what we are discussing, my body misbehaves. I feel like grabbing her, sincerely.
George: But did you grab her?
Buddy: No
George: So you are doing great
Buddy: But this feeling, I mean, my eyes are almost red all the time, not because I smoke cigars, but because my body is smoking. And she doesn’t seem to have an idea. Sometimes, she touches me, and then she looks at me intently, innocently though, but my God, you know she is beautiful!
George: Yeah, I understand.
Buddy: So these feelings, I really don’t want to mess up again. How can I eliminate the feelings? This thing of sin, I sometimes and ridiculously feel like cutting it off.
George: It is not a thing of sin. It is a gift of God.
Buddy: Waoh!
George: You see, that is not where the problem is. The problem is not your manhood. When it gets engorged with blood and changes in size when you see the one you love, it means you are perfectly normal. The problem is not down there; it’s up here. (touching his forehead)
Buddy: How do you mean?
George: The problem is with your mind.
Buddy: How do you mean?
George: If there is anything you feel like cutting off, it should be your mind.
Buddy: So how do I do that?
George: God never says you should cut off your mind. He says you should renew your mind. He tells you that you can have the mind of Christ.
Buddy: How do I do that?
George: The more of God’s word you listen to, the more your mind is renewed. The more your mind is renewed, the more you come to appreciate God’s word and the more you get revelation knowledge. The more revelation knowledge you get, the more you are strengthened in your inner man. The more might you have in your inner man, the more you are able to put your body under.
Buddy: Umnnnn
George: The feelings you have are okay. I have those feelings sometimes. I sometimes even have those feelings towards somebody I perceive as beautiful aside from my wife.
Buddy: Are you serious?
George: Yes, but after marriage, you are permitted only to admire, and not desire! So you don’t act out those feelings. Those feelings are brought about in my mind through my thoughts. So I consciously dispel those thoughts, casting down imaginations and every thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God.
Buddy: How do you cast down those thoughts?
George: By thinking about what God says concerning that situation and saying them out. That is why it is good to read your Bible regularly. The point of being tempted is not when you start looking for your concordance.
Buddy: I see. Are you telling me even after marriage, I will still feel like going out with others apart from my wife?
George: The devil continues to tempt you, especially in the areas of your weaknesses, but when you resist him, he will leave you alone for a while. You resist him the same way Jesus resisted him…It is written.
Buddy: But Jesus was never tempted by women
George: Read your Bible very well. He was tempted at all points, so says the scripture.
Buddy: Ok, give me an example of where you think he must have been tempted by women.
George: Ok. I will do just that. Do you remember when the lady with the alabaster box began to pour oil on his feet and then began to rub his feet with her hair?
Buddy: Oh!
George: So you agree now, he was tempted at all points…but the scripture says the prince of this world hath nothing in him. He refused to fall into any traps.
Buddy: Lord, help me.
George: He has helped you already. He sent you a helper. So when you take advantage of that help, you will be kept safe.
Buddy: How?
George: Did you read in your scripture where it says, Walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh? The Holy Spirit is your helper.
Buddy: Yes, I remember
George: That is it.
Buddy: One more thing. That time my fiancee and I compromised…it wasn’t her fault. It was mine. I was the one that put pressure on her
George: Why are you still talking about what God has forgotten?
Buddy: How can God forget? I understand the part about forgiving, but forgetting?
George: You see, He said your iniquities would I remember no more
Buddy: How is that possible?
George: It is made possible by the blood of Jesus.
Buddy: You mean he has completely forgotten about it
George: Yes, when you go back and ask for forgiveness the second time, He is wondering. It’s no longer in your records. But you complicate matters when you go back into that sin and it becomes habitual.
Buddy: So what about this guilt I still feel
George: That’s the devil, trying to make you feel worthless so that your prayers can be hindered.
Buddy: God help me
George: You know the Bible says “let us now come BOLDLY unto the throne of grace that we might obtain mercy and find grace to help in the time of need?”
Buddy: Yes
George: He tries to rob you of that boldness by reminding you of sins that God has forgotten and forgiven
Buddy: So how do I deal with that?
George: By quoting and meditating on what the scripture says.
Buddy: I hear!
George: You can wait and you can hold on.
Buddy: Yes I know, God help me.
George: Every time you compromise, you lose something. Something dies.
Buddy: I know
George: Sin is a destiny destroyer. But the power of sin is broken. What the devil is contending with is your glorious future. So you don’t mess up a permanent blessing with a temporary pleasure of a few minutes like Esau did.
Buddy: I will wait
George: Sin shall no longer have dominion, so says the scripture.
Buddy: One other thing…she sometimes wears provocative and tantalizing clothes…
George: Tell her, not accusingly, but let her know that she doesn’t have to show her cleavage or laps to you. She needs to know how she can help you.
Buddy: And you know she is light in complexion…
George: I know…but let her know that men are moved by sight…including you. Don’t suffer in silence or pretend or act spiritually when you are burning inside.
Buddy: I will tell her…she would just think I am a miserable sinner
George: No, she would respect you more…because she suddenly sees that you are willing to preserve virtue rather than fulfill the lust of the flesh. That would bring trust. It will cement your relationship more. Good things come to those who wait.
Buddy: Thank you, Uncle
George: You are welcome! We just had a Conversation On Feelings, Sex, And Guilt
Buddy: Thanks for your time. What about Auntie…
George: She is resting…we just came back from an outing, today is her birthday.
Buddy: Oh….kindly wish her Happy Birthday on my behalf…
George: Will do just that
Buddy: Ok then.
George: Yeah, see you later.
This is the end of A Conversation On Feelings, Sex, And Guilt
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will wait. I will not compromise
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Father, let your Holy Spirit be my helper indeed, that I may walk in the Spirit and not fulfill the lust of the flesh
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; (2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Make amends where necessary
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